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dTalljomt PUBLISHED WEDNESDAYS By D. B. Freeman; Proprietor. RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION; rue Year ..:.;..$i2.00 Six Months ;..:n..1.00 Ten copies one year 3 00 Commutiicatibii& on matters of pub lic interest solicited. gnUroiut jfrbedult. WESTERN & ATLANTIC RAILROAD. DAY PASSENGER TRAIN —OUTWARD. Leave Atlanta 8:40 a. m At rive Calhoun 12:40 p. m. “ Chattanooga. 350 p. m DAY PASSENGER TRAIN —INWARD. Leave Chattanooga 5:15 p. m. Arrive Calhoun 8:31 a. m. “ Atlanta 12:35 p. m. NIGHT PASSENGER TRAIN —OUTWARD. Leave Atlanta 5:56 p. m. Arrive Calhoun 0:41 p. m. “ Chattanooga 12:30 a. m. NIGHT PASSENGER TRAIN - INWARD. Leave Chattanooga 4:00 v. m. Arrive Calhoun 6:38 r. m. Atlanta 10:15 v. m. ACCOMMODATION TRAIN —OUTWARD. Leave Atlantaio,..n.w..;;... —3:50 v; M. Arrive Calhouns; 10:28 p. m. “ Dalton 11:55 P. M. ACCOMMODATION TRAIN INWARD. Leave Dalton 1:00 a. m. Arrive Calhoun 3:00 a. m. Atlanta 10:08 a. m TjN J. KIKER & SON, * attorneys at law, Will practice in sill the Courts of the okee Circuit; Supreme Court ot Georgia, and the United States District Court at Atlanta, Ga. Office : Sutheast corner of the Court House, Calhoun, Ga. a* "TYUN & MILNER, attorneys at law, CALHOUN, GA Will practice in all the Superior Courts of of Cherokee Georgia, the Supreme Court of the State and the United States District and Circuit 'Jourts, at Atlanta. TJANKIN & NEEL, * attorneys at law, • CALHOrtJN GA. gfOffice : Court House Street. J D. TINSLEY, Watch-Maker & Jeweler, CALQUN, OA . All styles of Clocks, Watches and Jewelry neatly repaired and warranted. TJUhTwALDO THORNTON, D. D. S.. DENTIST. Office over Geo. . Wells & Co.’s Agricul tural Warehouse. ___ jyjISS C. A HUDGINS, tlilliner & Mantua-Maker, Court House St., Calhoun* Ga. Patterns of the latest styles and fashion ladies just received. OuHidg and done to order. ____ 7 H. ARTHUR? 1) l \ f.r in GENU itVL MERCHANDISE, .10 AD TEET, Calhoun , Ga. ]\/fUSIC! MUSIC! IYLA large variety of new and select music direct from Philadelphia hep! constantly on hand and for sale b/ Mrs. J. E. Parrott. She also gives notice that she will instruct m music at her residence Terms, per month, $4.00: use of instrument, 50 ennts. Recep tion days, Tuesdays and Thursdays. 2f T. GRAY, A • CALHOUN. G A., Is prepared to furnish the public with Buggies and Wagons, bran new and war 1 ant- Repair mg of all kinds done at short notice. Would c ill attention to the cole rat* and “ Fish Brothers’ Wagon which he fui ni hes. Call and examine before buying el sew here. NEW GROCERY STORE. j, w. Marsliall, RAILROAD ST,, OLD STAND OF A. W. 3 LLEW. FRESH GOODS, BOUGHT FOR CASH. AND WILL BE SOLD FOR CASH ATTIIE V ERY LOWEST PRICES. # Would respectfully ask his numerous friends in Gordon county to come in and see him before mating purchases elsewhere. H>„ 11. FINDLEY, WITH M. ROSENBERG & BRO., Wholesale and Retail Dealers in Dry Goods, Clothing, Boots, Shoes —AND— GENTS’ FURNISHING GOODS, Two dcors east of Rome Bank, No. 65 Broad St., • - - Ko,ne Ga. New goods received weekly. Highest market prices paid in cas i oi all kinds of FURS. We pay the highest pviees tor cotton. dec2 3m. Fall and Winter Goods J X RS. ANNIE HALL Has now in store Iter Ml amf winter stock of iashionable MiHiuery and Straw Goods, consisting in part of Bonnets, _" 1 s ,in< Children’s Hats, White Goods, Ladies Un derwear, Ribbons, Laces, Flowers, &e . with an endless variety of TRIMMINGS OF ALL KINDS Cutting, fitting and making dresses a spe cialty. All work done with care, neatness and dispatch. Prices reasonable. Give me call . MRS. ANNIE HALL AiiE Times office is the place to get It Vilk ' , YOL. Y. u . j->c.i • * .uUitdOi;. Many ind many a y ar ago, Wiu we old folks were young, in gifmg language to ou thoughts We used our mother tongue. But tow the age has grown so fast TV old words are forgot. And mthing will suffice us now Ifiit slang that is red hot. In f lose old times we never said <y .Joe or Tom or Bill, In .'peaking of their enmanship, He slings a nasty quill.” Ir#qeak ng of a man of sense, • His judgment’s good,” they said ; Bat now they say, “ The old sardine Has got a level head.” Once angry words would lead to blows ; But now, when “a galoot” t“ Gives too much chin,” or put on frills, We “piste him in the snoot.” In sorrow then they spoke of death, With pale and trembling lip ; Rut now, “ lie’s handed iD his checks,” Or, “ The duller slipped his grip.” Then, as they grasped a friendly hand, n'hey said “ How do you do ?” But now. “ What liLVe you got that’s treth ?” Or, “ Well old chap, what’s new ?” Then. “He plays billiards well” we said Of one excelled by tew ; “ But now. “ Well, he is not a slouch ; lie shoves a healthy cae.” 0 ce on a time man danced well— Alas ! ’ti; so no more : “ He’s just the ooy can shake himself W hen you boost him on the floor. A man once used to go to lunch When eating time drew near; But now lie’ll “ wrastle with his hash,’ Or “tackle his daily beer.” Oi l friends at meeting used to pledge Each other in a cup ; But now it is, “ Here’s to yer, Bill!” And, ‘ George, just hang that up.” Oh. give me back those good old days, When both he old and young Used none but true, o(d-fashioned words. And slang was never slung. . GEORGIA AGRICULTURE. Soil and Climate Crop Possibilities— Labor Question *llOlll6 Supplies - Significant Statistics. BY PROF- HENRY E COLTON. To the casual ob'servet who travels over the State, there may seem to be no improvement in the agriculturai cys tern if Georgia ;* but having been an annual visitor for five years past, and carefully noted the cro*- results, I am able to say that the farmens here have made great progress. They are learn ing how to be independent. I hat many of them will never achieve this goal is certain, for there will be‘drones in the very best hive, but decided im provement has already been maue, and it is certain that effort to advance will not cease. With the exception of a verv few mountain counties, there is no part of Georgia where cotton is not produced. It is safe to say these counties excepted, no man in the State farms for corn or wheat alone, but, on the contrary, many give all or nearly all their attention to cotton. '1 hat sta ple is a sure money crop, and the secret of success and profit in farming in Georgi’ is to raise just so much of the n oney—producing fiber as can be grown aud at the same time produce all the food of man and Least.* The man who does this is in a fair way to be able to make the banks and merchants his debtors instead of being heavily in debt to them, as is the case with too many of the Georgia farmers. An examina tion of the geological and topographic cal characteristics of the State will show anv thoughtful person that this will probably never be the result in Southern Georgia; that in Middle ►Georgia much grain will be grown, and some few farmers will make their own meat; while in N-orthern Georgia it will eventually be the rule, and the lack of such good common sense farming be the exception. THE COTTON COUNTRY. The general soil of Southern and es pecially" South Western Georgia is pe culiarly adapted to the growth of cot ton. and exce-1 on a few river bottoms is not the soil for corn, while wheat as a crop is hardly known. The region South of a line from Savannah to Ma con and thence to Alabama, once pro duced fully half the cotton of the State, and probably --'t time? two-thirds; now it hardly produces over a third, and it is certain that the cotton there pro duced averages a higher c-osi pi r pound than from any other part of the Nate. This area was the great slave-h iding locality, and received the name of the Black Belt from the above fact, and from a peculiar calcareous soil existing in one section. The geneial soil is porous and light and easily cultivated produces from 200 to 400 pounds of lint cotton to the acre, and would not average six bushels of corn. One hand and a mule can easily do the plowing for forty acres or more ; and with two other hands for hoeing we may safely estimate they will almost anywhere in this area, except on sand barrens, pi°- duce twenty bales of 500 pounds each, worth at present prices (13 cents) sl,- 300 ; the same hands would most prob ably not make their own feed on the same land if planted i" corn. lhese facts show that Abe greater part of this section of the State must ever be strictly a cotton region The difficulty there is not so much in growing the staple as in getting it pick, and n whole future prosperity of this region rests in a settled, trustworthy labor and I must admit that the prospect for such is very dim. Within the boundary T hare indica ted the enw-peu Srotrs luxuriantly, and in ita more Southern eountie. au ..ar cane can be made profitable Ihe soil yields largely to very slight culture CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20. 1875. but I cannot think it a region for small farms, except fur trucking, and this 1 u-iness along the Hue of the At.antic and Gulf Railroad may be made very profitable. It- Soil is also the home ••f the Bermuda Grass, and if efforts were made to set it out, this hardy arid excellent pasture grass might be made to take the place of the wire-grass in the woods, and of brooinsedge in the old fields. The labor question is the problem of the whole State and of the South. In South Georgia it is difficult to solve, but as we go Northward to the hill and mountain country, where the farm contracts into a space more readi ly bioked over, it becomes less difficult * f solution The new Oomulissi mr *1 Agriculture, Ur James, has undertaken io get some data by a series of ques tions sent out o thousands of farmers all over ihe State They cobtain every idea one can think of conceding labor on the farm. They wll certainly elicit some curious statements, but how they are to remedy the evil I do not see.— The remedy is simply in time, and while the sands of the glass drop slow ly, many a fair estate, once the home of intelligence, once rich in verdure, trim med with the dripping locks of the great staple, will grow up in short leaved pine oh in luxuriant blackberry bushes, affording summer food to the traditional poor white, aided now by the poorer an I lazier black. FACILITIES FOR SMALL FARMS. Middl* 3 Georgians in better condition than the Southern part, and there is no reason why it should not be the wealth iest, most prosperous, and most lous section of the State. The soil is at least fairly good, the climate is not malarious, the water is pure freestone, and a variety of crops may be raised It occupies a middle position, and com prises many of the advantages of the Northern and Southern regions, with none of the disadvantages of the latter, except the unreliable labor. Even this it may eventually overcom*, as it Can be a region of small farms, and one can come from the level savannahs of South West Georgia with an inspirited feel ing. Here is a land of some pomise.— The soil of tnis section is hardly so ea sily cultivated as that further South, is of a red or gray, chiefly the former, produces clover luxuriantly, grows about fifteen bushels of corn to the acre when well tilled, and will average about 200 pounds of lint cott-m, .while wheat yields six to eight bushels, but might easily be doubled, while all the fruits grow well, even the .tropical fig Tnis country will eventually be 1 tudued with ~e it farming villages, and pretty white cottages will take the place of thecher ished log cabin It is even now proba bly the section having most of the in telligence and wealth ol* Georgia. The railroads traversing it are the Air Line, Atlanta and Augusta, with branches to Athe* sand Washington, and the At lanta and Macon, and the Macon and AugUSS:?. • North of Atlanta the W. and A Railroad runs to Chattanooga through a region which should be strictly one ot stall farms. It was once the great, grain-growing region of the and now produces the greater portion of its own provisions This road is the only one in tlie State which strikes a good grass-growing reg on, w’here first-class beef cattle mav be cheaply raised For 100 miles of its length it passes over a limestone soil similar to that of So th- West Virginia. There is no better grass lands than the Valleys of Catoosa and Chattooga, the Oostanaula and Etowah and their tributaries,while they combine a climate uiild in Whiter and uot suificientlyhot in Summer to be <>p pressive, and are within easy access to the great hay co Burning region The lower 38 miles of this road bel rigs to the Atlanta bel of freestene lands, and being very elevated has a chm-'te un surpassed in Winter or hi Summer Cobb county of this region received the premium as the banner county of the State for general agricultural products Through this lower section runs the Chatahooehee River, its bott .ms afford ing very superior corn lands N *rth east of A lauta the Air Line Road to Charlotte, N C has opened up a vein large region of country heretofore hav ing access to market by wagon. It is a regien high and healthy, fitted specially to the grains an 4 grasses, but even now sending into the Atlanta market tnou sands of bales of cotton, probabiy pro - tluced at a less actual cost than from an other part of the State. IMPROVEMENTS, PRESENT AND PROS PECTIVE Such in brief are the Soil character istics and the general cr *p possibilities of the State The future simply depends on the people themselves. My obser vations tell me that they are very sure ly coming to a knowledge of the situation, and perhaps slowly but certainly pre paring to meet it. I base this eonclu sion on the tact that everywhere I see less inclination to depend on hired labor and more disposition of the ftimers to Work themselves and make their boys work The gun and d**g are now more the companions of the ireedman than of his former master. I see further a growing disDo-irior, to be certain of bread and meat by raising them und r their ow i eyes ; there is. too, more de sire to find home fertilizer, than to de vote ail the profits ot the c Don to buy ing a iitlle adulter fid ’guano l note experiments in green soiling which are being carefully watched by surrounding farmers ; aud I may add there is much attention to little comforts about the household at and t > beautifying the home place. I saw far up in the rough places a pretty white cottage fronted by a tas tily arranged flower garden ; inquiry in loruied me that an advertisement in the New York Tribune had shown the way and Jauies Vick had provided the re table seeds which made this beautiful ua.-ua. These aud many little things, so im poitaut too, induce the opitiiotf that, generally speaking, Geureid agriculture is improving Much is due to the con tinu-cd edorts of the Georgia Biute Ag ricultural Society. No othe like or ganization in the South disseminates so much valuable information or makes untiring exertions to Imp ove its peo pie 'itiree years ago Mr. SruiUel Bar riett became Secretary o the Society, and immediately started a system which is still energetically jfulLwed by his successor, Mr. Malcolm Johnson. The suggestions lor a series ol experiments sent out by M . Barnett have never beeu surpassed in coinpactuess and ex cellence. Beside the auuuul fairs the Society holds two semi annual meetings, a*, which essays are read and discussion hud upon them by practical farmers Every year these teeeliogs have in creased iu interest and iu the number attending, and their proceedings are now published in large pamphlet form. From the last the fact is ascertained that iu this crop year acres were planted in corn thau in 18 3, mid that there is about? the si*m decrease in cotton area; that the acree age of wheat increased 58,512, and of swe.t potatoes 10.359 It would be an interesting fact to know in what sec tions of the State was the increase.— Such evidence of increase of the food crops is promise of bitter days A iurther look iutu the statistics shows that the inert use of hogs has been 35,592, horses aud mules 31,551. and cattle 49 039 The statistics are collected by the tax assessors with pre pared forms and revised by the Tax Collectors, aud are relumed to ttie Comptroller’s office in Atlanta before September 1, and are probably the most accurate cb itactei oi crop studs* tiffs. The increase of sheep is put at only 1.900. whole number 370 921 aud in 1873 the number of dogs was 122.- 318, increase in 1874 ni given The statistics indicate this year an iucree of at least 1,335,364 bushels t coin, and over 200.000 bushels ol wheat. - Such pr gress iu one year i> t vast step toward such agricultural independent* as must make the State wealthy and prosperous Mi-, J nos h.s • T o and these statist re.- .wh a .. t ,i pul: -he them with proportion of crops made by whites and blacks in 1873 from whi*h it appears that in that year 35 408 out of 504.253 bales >f cotton were pr * duced by th* blacks of the >r.te. 1 tainly not a bad pr >p rti m i’ r i p> pi who ten years ego wre slave- n and *e it look as if they wer so very badly . treated by the woite men who mu-t ! ,wl nearly all the laud Mv ob.-erva tion among: this class shows me that quite a number are becoming oi land, building good houses, and accu affirm-’ing uimu y. 100 much ot which | was swep away in the Fivedm m s Bu- j f'etftf Bank s'wiuclie In the 8 u,h, as ! elsewhere, property and money at, least ; make i man respected by business men, j so this industry and accumulation on j the part of the blacks will far more j surely mike them recognized as citizens: - than’ all the laws <! n res- It noteworthy fact that while ih p. 4 nearly *me-f urteenili f the c < they only prodafee ah tr ■!>■- •..h * th of the o >rn This h v ■ a. solution ifi the fael ?b ? u, ; ; ~ . lands manag*4jj by blacks re i \ th- South Western section WHOLESOME INFLUENCE- VNDPALP - BLE F.MJIAs The improvement in the pr vision crops has been largely attributed to the influence of the Barr o* ' iTusb oidrv, and no doubt with some ■ ; hut .n toher cause or example h h and 're.-it ffe*. Previ* ms to the war the coin ti of the Atlanta heir hardlv pro ! duced the cotton they c nsuo. and in ! cl tfhimr; now t-hey produce r half of the whom product ?o h Stat ami th" faru or- a the sum tm. did mu abandon their old habit >< making their provisions One planter -ui the | Air Line Road said to me : “I have I forty bales of cotton and I can self it or I keep if. as {ps cise. for { h .vc also over 3,000 bushels of Corn tfd s rim wlveat. ! and abundance of forage.” In a trip ' through this region last spring I saw ; hundreds of bales w.hieh had been held over and for which hiuh prices * re j obtained, because the farmer did re-t j have to buy all he and hi- hands and i stock ale No thinking pi inter nod farmer of S.mth or Middle G i■ a hot saw pi iiniv to he t u j|.>v >b*> same e*m.-3, **r h c-m: i never again grow ..Cotton at a profit. One o* the worst iaw3 ever* enae*ed I with au intent to befriend the farmer I was she Ren I>w It encouraged spend i ing money before it -is made, and too j often was abused by parties selling ; their cotton to others than' the loaner. I [f is no longer in existence, and l can j not but think next year must reduce ; the cost of ci.tr a and three the j growth of c>*ru Th.- i.ly ree -urse ofj the couinu.-sioji ci , i: w j,- m the ] honor of tie- plan * r r whom he urtkes adva. ees Rivalry in business may cause some had debts but the substari tiai dealer end h nest farmer wi’l be the bcti rf r the ab dition of a law wh -sc tend iip*, was t** encourage deeeit an*l reckless expendit sr Jht l’arujer *' ho bought under its regulations always paid ext,a high prices; ern which eould he bought for 80 cents cash, was b u<ght uud er crop lien at SI 40 to §1 50. and al other things' in propor tion ; money advanced was charged at 14 to 2 per cent, per month, and ns ually the cotton market so manipulated that wh n the Dme for paying these debts came the st iple was at its lowest price for the year. Hence, the com- Jtmt mission merchant, after making 50 per cent on the corn or bacon sold, received pay in cott n at a price whichhe ew would be increased 50 per cent in less than six months. Is it any wonder that the banks which loaned the uioue yield large dividends, and that the commission merchants h ;ve as a rule made large fortunes ? Ther can now be no legal liens ofl the crops; it re mains to be seen if any of the planters will lack independence Enough to mort gage their lands. The evident faults of Georgia Aar ming are endeavoring to cultivate too much land, want of good farming im plements and bad care of them when gotten. There ave plows in use iu the South which might be exhibited as rel ics from Egypt The stock is general ly poor, not capable of doing a good day’* work ; add to this irregular and scanty feeding ; corn is generally badly housed, the same with stock iu winter. They assume that their climate is so mild stock need no shelter, hence ex pose them and they come from a winter feeble and emaciated, unfit fov work ; the same with milk and other battle.— A great waste is the lack of intelligent information on farm subjects, the coun try weeklies do not. devote enough space to such reading. .More of it and less of politics tfould nfake the State richer But the great fault of Georgia farming is pursuit of the one idea, cotton, to the exclusion of food In the neglect of little things around the farm they find many companions North and West; but all in all it is my opinion that there is a growing desire to know the right way and then the right pursue.— -N. Y. Tribune A Table for Housewives. The following is a very valuable housewife’s table, by which persons not having scales and weights at hand may i adity measure the article, wanted to form any receipe without the truubie of weighing, allowances to be inadi lor an exti.ordinal y dryness or moisture of die article eighed or measured : A heat fi us, oae pound is one quart. Li lian meal, one pouud two ouuees are ue quart. Butter, when one pound is one quart L i sugar, broken,* one pound is one 4 ; ini sugar powdered, one pound one. ounce are one quart. iest brown sugar, one pound two ounces are on quart leu eggs are one pouud. Flour, four peeks are one bushel. Aixieeu ! rge teaspooululs are one pint Eight mrge teaspoonfuls are one S' l • t’otfr large teaspooufuls are one-half gill Tw*. gilis are one-eighth pint, i wo punts are o e quart. Four quarts are one gallon. A common-sized tumbler holds half a pint A comm n-sized wiih glass is half a gill. A teacup is one gill. A large wine glass is one gill. A t a.-pu mlul is one-half ounce. . * , ir *ps are equal to one fcea i ‘ u; - r ur tea.-poorrfufs are equal to one • > si on'uJ Would Yotf. Would you keep your rosy Complex i n weal thick Soled shoes W. u;d you enjoy quie* contentment, and a v with airs and pretences. a u:d you have others respect your • pini- a- ho don and never disown them \ irrstdt A aid > 'u marry and be happy, to v. rv uni-e -t love add at least a grain of good -.ense and judgment iu choos ing a companion. W uld you have health, go out in r -unshinc is worse than : ck es Voul'l y*'U respect yourself, keep y.'Ur heart and b *dy clean Would you retain the love of a friend and ri"t be selfishly exact ng. Y\ uid yon gain the confidence of business men, do not try to support the .- f,!e f your employer. Would you never dread to look any on in the face, pay all your debts. Would-you newer be told a lie do n t ask persoual questions. Would you sleep well and have a good 1 1 • tite. attend to your own business. \\ uid you have respect of men, fiev-’ er allow yourself to indulge in vulgar jokes or conversation. V. u and you save yours el 4 ’’ annoyance, do not stir up scandal. Would you deserve the name of a la dy. never, either to men or women, de scend to obscenity or low allusions. To your face they may laugh’ at your wit hut to others they will speak disrespect fully of you. w He Explained it to Her.— \ •,v days ago an old lady from the * si ru part of Wayne eounty. Michi gan. was selling some butter to a grower in Detroit,when she overheard somebody mention the Beecher scandal. “What is that thing, anyhow V asked the old ! ady. “It’s been in the papers, but my eyes are poor,and I have hot felt like reading it ?” • Well it’s just this,” replied the gro cer. is he scraped out the crock. “ you see. Beecher hired Mrv.Tiltou to knit him twelve pairs of socks ; and when she had got ’em done he tried to pass a counterfeit bill on her.” “Is that so!” exclaimed the aged dame. “Well I dont blame the papers a single bit for showing him up—he's worser than a vagabond.” A Calumny Retracted and a Girl and Her Lorei Made Happy. The fashion reporter of an Austin City, Nevada, paper describes the belle of the masquerade ball in the following astounding language : “The most gorgeous, stunning, hig toned, richest, fastest-classeet. nicest, or any other adjective for costume in the “ outfit,” was that worn by Miss Fran kie Clarke. She was t'v hifalutinist, gayest, and galusest dressed gal in the room. She appeared in the room as a page, and she was a page that any man would leave another to read. in costume and action she was as perfect as a big sunflower.” A couple of days after the appear ance of the notice into the editorial room of the paper stalked a young man. His brow was wrapped in thunder, his body in a suit of tweed, and his hand clasped a big lump of hickory. He pulled a paper out of his pocket, and pointing his finger to the paragraph, said : “ I want ter see the man as wrote that ere.” \‘l am the individ ual,” replied the person. ““ What did yer go and do it for, that’s what I Want to know ?” “ Oh, because I thought you’d like to see your girl made out one of the most bewitching females that was ever tet on earth to keep a man f r om his hash and drive balmly sleep from his pillow.” “ Now, look here. Ever since that was pub'* lished I can’t get a word out on her.— She sets in front of the looking glass and keeps a gazin’ on herself, and mak in’ sqqint eyes at her dress, and puck erin’ up her mouth, and actin’ as if she were a blasted sight better’n anybody else. I want this ’ere thing fixed, or there’ll be an editor’s situation vacant.” He looked significantly at the club.— For a moment* the reporter stood in profound thought; then his face bright- and he said, I’ll fix it in next week’s paper. After *ou have seen the next issue, call aud tell me the result.” The young mSn left. In the next week’s paper appeared the following paragraph : A Correction. —We made a g. a v mistake in our issue of last week, In our description of the marquerad e ball, we accidentally substituted the name of Miss Frankie Clark for that of Miss Georgie Waller. Any one who is ac quainted with the first-named lady must have discovered the error. It is true that she appeared for what was intend ed as a page, but she looked a good deal more like a bootblack in hard luck.— She is not good-looking, her actions were absurd, and every man in the room kept as far from her as possible. She thinks of moving out of this communi* ty, as it’s unappreciative. When she goes she will be escorted out of the town by a brass band. The people of Austin will gladly miss her from among them. The next day the young man entered the office. In his hand he bore a rifle, and his belt was ornamented with a big six-shooter and a tremendous bowie knife. He sailed up to the reporter. — “ I look warlike, don’t I’/ I don’t feel a bit like fightin’ you bet. You jest oughter have seen her when she read that correction. Why, she jest danced a jig with madness, ahu she sot down and cried, and then she come up and threw her arms aruund my neck, and said, ‘Arthur, do you love me?’ ‘You bet your best bonnet on that,’ said I. ‘ Well, never expect me to speak to you again' if yoh don’t go and kill the fel ler wat writ that dander.’ lb course I promised. And here lam to kill you.” He laughed long and heartily. After a time he quieted down, and the re porter said : “ I suppose, in order to make it aH right between you and your girl, I’ve got to become a corpse. I’ll do it. Sit there a minute and I’ll fix the business.” He sat down at a desk, and scribbled away for a few minutes, and then returned with a sheet of paper on which was written : Obituary. —lt grieves us to be com pe'led to announce the sudden death of Mr. Charles Keller, the young and talented fashion editor, in a moment of mental aberration he had slandered an estimable, accomplished and beautiful young lady of this city, named Miss Fannie Clark. Yesterday her betroth ed called at this office and asked for the author of the slander, and, when he discovered him, shot him dead on the spot. This paper will be unable to give fashion gossip hereafter. We find it impossible to fill the place lefc va cant by Mr. Keller. Though erratic, he was a man of kindly heart, and could listen more attentively to stale stories aud drink more had whisky than aoy man in Austin. It. I. P. “ That's your sort,” said the infuria ted lover. “ That’s the thin g to a T. Come along Mr. Corpse, and hist a lit tle lightning.” The lady was satisfied when the paragraph appeared in the next issue of the paper, her lover was regarded as a hero, and the Austin pa per ceased to give reports of fashiona ble balls.— Chicago Tribune. — m —— An Impalpable Hat-Rack^ One of the best things in the shape of a practical joke was not long since perpetrated by Tom Startler. Old Startler, pater familiar, is a merchant, wealthy and aristocratic, and it is his desire that nothing derogato y to his dignity shall Bud foothold in his fami ly or fasten itself upon any member thereof. In his boyhood Tom conceived ar - ong passion for the fine arts, and desired m'’ch*to become a painter; but his father would not permit it. His son must either choose one of the learn ed professions or follow in his tootsteps and become a merchant. In spite of the paternal edict, however, young Startler cultivated his tfiientj and in the studio of an artist friend he spent many a pleasant hour with brush and r nEb. t/Hg* For each square of ten lines oriels for the first insertion, sl, and foieach sub sequent insertion, fifty cents. jjfmSq’rs | 1 Mo. | 8 Mos. | 6 Mor l 1 year. fwo $4.00 $7.00 I $12.00 *2005 Four “ 6.00 10.00 [ I&00 35.00 | column 9.00 15.00 25.00 40.05 J 15.00 25.00 40.00 65.00 1 25.00 4000 05.00 116.00 . ftsT Ten lines of solid brevier, nr its equivalent in space, make a square. NO. 25. pallet in hand. A few weeks since Mr. Startler moved into his new house on the ave nue, and on the occasion be gave a‘ grand reception to a party of select, friends. A hat-rack had been ordered for the front hall, but it had not been delivered, and on the forenoon of the day of the party word was sent up by the furnisher that the rack could not be fiuisbed before the following day.— Tom heard the message, and straight way the idea of a joke entered his head. He got his paint and his brush es, and upon the blank wall of the hall he painted a hat rack, and he dia it with such force and accuracy of ef*. feet that every pafi stood out in relief as bold as though the Solid wood had been set there. The first man to arrive was pater familias himself He saw the rack against the wall, and, having removed his beaver, he assayed to hang it upon one of the pegs. The hat fell to the floor. The old gentleman picked it up and tried another peg, and with like result. “ Bless my soul!” he exclaimed, picking up his hat a second time, “what can this mean ?” He was about to try a third peg, when his daughter, shaking with merriment, informed him— “ Dear papa, that is not a hat-stand at all; its only one of Tom’s tricks.” Had Master Tom been at hand he might have got a tatste of the paternal indignation; but when, later, the guests began to arrive, and were in like manner deceived by the phantom stands old Startler entered into a keen enjoy ment of the thing, and not only forgave his son the trick, ho had played, but suffered him, for amusement, to pursue hiS artistic studies. # A YOUNG gentleman who attends the Austin, Nev.,public school has been told, says the Reveille, that a sudden shock or fright would cure the hiccough, and the other evening, while he was study ing his lesson frr the tmrrow by draw ing a picture of the schoblma’am on his slate, his respected progenitor was seized? with a fit of hiccoughs. The old gentle man was tilted back in his chair, with 1 his feet resting on the top of the stove/ and the young hopeful concluded to try the cure on him. Just as the old mart was “rustling” with a heart-breaking hie the boy jumped up and yelled “Fire !” The old man was juß't getting out cuh-cuh, but he never got it out.—' He gave a jump which tilted over tile chair, and in endeavoring to regain his equilibrium his feet flew up against the table, upsetting it and a student lamp’ which stood upon it, and his head land ed in t e ashes on the stove hearth.— The old lady, hearing the racket, came running in from the kitchen, afcd trip ped over the old man’s prostrate form, knocking down a whatnot with a lot of glass ornaments. When that boy’s fath er arose from the wreck and shook the ashes and splinters of glass out of hitf hair and clothes he was cured of the hic coughs, but there was a look of stern ness in his eye ; the boy says he knows it was a “stern” look--feelingly “stern,” as he can testify. lie saya fright is ai splendid cure for the “hiccups,” but that the “stern ” look it occasions itf three hundred thousand times worse than the “hiccups.” He don’t play tag now, as he says his mother has forbidden him, and he sits on the edge of the seat at school, and lies on his front, when in bed, and silently murmers that the old man can hiccup his coUsarUed old head off before he will ever try to CUro him. Care for Drunkennss/ There is a curious prescription in" England for the cure of daunkenness, by which thousands are said to have been assisted in recovering themselves. The recipe Came into notoriety through the efforts of John Vine Hall, father of Kev. Newman Hall and Captain Vine Hall, commander of the Great Eastern steamship. He had fallen into habitual drunkeness that his utmost efforts to ic gain himself proved unavailing. Afr length he sought the advice of an emi nent physician, Who gave hitn a pro-* scriptioo which he followed faithfully for several months; and at the end of that time he had lost all desire for liquors, although he had for many years been led captive by a most debasing habit. The recipe which he afterward publ.&hed, and by which sb many have been*assisted to reform, is as' for'FOWsjr ‘‘Sulphate of iron,s?e grains ; magnesia,- ten grains;- peppermint water, eleven grams; spirits of nutmeg, one and aehrn ; to ho taken twice a day.” This prepa ration acts as a tonic and a stimulant, and so partly supplies the place of the acoustomed liquA, and prevents that absolute physical and moral prostration’ that follows a sudden breaking off froffir 2 the use of stimulating drinks. Ambition, A love of activity, a desire to excel 1 end to gain a positron in the world are commendable. They who bless the race, elevate man, ihspire him with tree courage, softeu the of our being, and increase mental aud moral power, are the true heroeS'and heroines. They are the benefactors of the world who leave it better for having lived in* it. But he who encourages cruelty and delight in bU od either on the field of battle or in the native and true ruffian I .’ He who kills as prompted by a love of glory (?),is not leas a murderer than he who steals stealthily on his victim to gratify an uncontrollable hate, when the enormity of the crime must be granted by the number of lives sacrificed —the injury sustained. He who robs a na* . tion of its wealth destroys its material growth, abridges its peace, happiness,its < prosperity, its mind, muscle and morals by war is not loss a robber than he who ■ takes the private purse and then kills#.