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CALHOUN WEEKLY TIMES.
BY and. b. freeman.
CALHOUN times
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Western & Atlantic Railroad.
DAY PASSENGER TRAIN —OUTWARD.
Leave Athinta 8:40 A. M
Ai rive Calhoun 12:40 r. m
“ Chattanooga. 850 r. m
DAY PASSENGER TRAIN —INWARD.
Leave Chattanooga 5:15 r. m.
Arrive Calhoun 8:31 a. m.
“ Atlanta 12:35 p. m.
NIGHT PASSENGER TR AIN—OUTWARD.
Leave Atlanta 5:oo p. m.
Arrive Calhoun "*:4l P ' M '
“ Chattanooga 12:30 a. m.
NIGHT PASSENGER TRAIN —INWARD.
Leave Chattanooga 4:00 r. M.
Arrive Calhoun 6:38 p. m.
Atlanta 10:15 p. M.
ACCOMMODATION TRAIN OUTWARD.
Leave Atlanta 3:50 p. M.
Arrive Calhoun-. 10:28 p. m.
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ACCOMMODATION TRAIN —INWARD.
Leave Dalton 1:00 a. m.
Arrive Calhoun 3:00 a. m.
Atlanta 10:08 a. m
TTt J. KIKEII & SON,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Will practice in all the Courts of the Cher
okee Circuit; Supreme Court ol Georgia, and
the United States District Court at Atlanta,
Ga. Office : Sutheast corner of the Court
House, Calhoun, Ga.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
CALHOUN, GA
Will practice in all the Superior Courts of
of Cherokee Georgia, the Supreme Court of
the State and the United States District and
Circuit .ourts, at Atlanta.
TJANKIN & NEEL,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
CALHOUN, GA.
Office: Court nouse Street.
J D. TINSLEY,
Watch-Maker & Jeweler,
CALHOUN , GA.
All styles of Clocks, Watdbes and Jewelry
neatly repaired and warranted.
JJUFE WALDO THORNTON, D. D. S..
DENTIST.
Office over Geo. W. Wells & Co.’s Agricul
tural Warehouse.
jy£ISS C. A. HUDGINS,
Milliner & Mantua-Maker,
Court House St., Calhoun*Ga.
Patterns of the latest, styles and fashion
for ladies just received. Gutting and
making done to order.
MUSIC! MUSIC!
A large variety of new and select music
direct from Philadelphia, kept constantly on
hand and for sale by Mrs. J. E. Parrott. —
She also gives notice that she will instruct
in music at her residence. Terms, per month,
$4.00; use of instrument, 50 ennts. Recep
tion days, Tuesdays and Thursdays.
ZT. GRAY,
• CALHOUN, GA„
Is prepared to furnish the public with
Buggies and Wagons, bran new and warrant
ed. Repairing of all kinds done at short
notice. Would call attention to the cele
rated “Fish Brothers’ Wagon which he fui
niches. Call and examine before buying
elsewhere.
J 11. ARTHUR
DEALER IN
GENERAL MERCHANDISE,
RAILROAD STREET,
Calhoun, Ga.
NEW GROCERY STORE.
J\ W. Marshall,
RAILROAD ST., OLD STAND OF
A. W. BALLEW.
FRESH GOODS, SOUGHT FOR
CASH, AND WILL BE SOLD
FOR CASH AT THE VERY
LOWEST PRICES.
Would respectfully ask his numerous
friends in Gordon county to come in ami
see him before making purchases elsewhere.
ONLY Send Twenty-Five Cents to
THE KENNESAW GAZETTE,
Atuania, Ga.,
p-p'vrrpct and it will be sent you month
vliuN lb. ly one year. Richest tbingout
[For the Calhoun Times, j
LINES.
BY MAY EBON.
Where bitter seeds are early sewn,
And bitter weeds have rankly growti,
How hard they are to die.
You may root them up and cast away,-
To-day and each succeeding day
With a close observing eye ;
UntH y° u deem the soul is freed
From every noxious, poisoning weed.
But some stray roots will cling
Deep in the earth from whence they spring,
And gather strength the while;
Until the sunshine and the shower
Gome with invigorating power,
New life and health to instil;
Then they with instinct ve power shoot forth,
Surpassing plants of higher worth.
’Tis thus, alas! with human heart,
A bitter word like a poisoned dart,
Will leave a festering wournL -
Twill rankle there deep, deep, within
The inmost soul a cureless pain,
For which no healing balm is found.
Though soon ’twill all forgotten be
Save in that poor heart’s memory.
JACK’S WASHING.
BY ELEANOR KERK.
One shirt to his back.
This was a little rough, and the poor
fellow felt the humiliation keenly. It
was hard to be obliged to wash this ar
tide two or three times a week, in his
narrow, contracted wash-bowl; and it
was harder still to put it on in the
morning not quite dry, and especially
so at this time of the year. Until
within a few days Jack Ilyer had been
able to proseut quite a respectable ap
pearance by the aidjjf an occasional
false bosom, but now the scanty funds
were quite exhausted, and the thread
bare, brown coat was kept buttoned up
to the chin. Jack’s home was a gen
teel boarding house, too, and his friends
and acquaintances among the very best'
people. For some time he had felt sure
that this kind of a life must be aban
doned for Jack’s business prospects
grew worse instead of better, and was
already in arrears with his landlady;
which was so mortifying to him that he
had long ceased catching her eye as she
handed him his coffee. The fact Was,
Jack had been reared with great expec
tations, and had been kept all his life
in school and at college, and at the time
of his father’s death was studying for a
lawyer. Greatly to everybody’s sur
prise, the Ilyer estate was found insol
vent, and our fiue Mr. Jack was com
pelled to leave his caffe and his elegant
lome, and earn his daily bread and but
ter. Alas ! Poor Jack !
At the time our story opens, Jack
was a strolling reporter of New York
dailies, and a hanger on at magazines
The precariousness of this life soon be
came painfully evident to our young
gentleman, but he gave every cent he
earned to his landlady, and washed his
solitary shirt in the little third story
hall bedroom.
The sweet face Miss Flemming, his
opposite neighbor at the table, who by
dint of zeal, talent, and indomitable
perseverance had won for herself quite
a reputation among writers, was always
very happy to give Jack the benefit of
her experience. She had borrowed his
portfolio and bis ar
ticles.
“ There is nothing the matter,” she
had told him, frankly. “ After you
have had a little more experience you
will learn how to adapt your work to
the market. Your articles lack noth
ing else.”
Jack thought of his shirt and, sigh
ed.
The night before Thanksgiving, Jack
was positive it had never been so cold,
and the freshness seemed all to have
been frozen out of his face, it was so
pinching and blue.
Miss Flemming sat in the cosy dining
room, cutting the leaves of anew mag
azine.
“ Why, Mr. Hyer,” she said, in sur
prise, making a place for him in front
of the blazing grate fire, “you certainly
have uot been out this bitter cold day
without an overcoat. It was very im
prudent —very.”
“ Well, it is about time,” Jack an
swered, cheerfully, “to put on over
coats.”
He must say something ; but I have
his own word for it that he never felt
so much like bursting into tears as on
that occasion. All that was left for
that garment was contained in his old
wallet in the shape of a battered pink
ticket. In other words, (to use a little
slang.) his “ uncle ” had it. He raised
fifteen dollars on it in the summer, and
felt very happy to hand over tbe amount
to his landlady.
Jack’s dinner almost choked him,
and just as soon as he could, without ex
citing remark, he retired to his room.
That day he had expected to collect a
small amount due him, but had been
disappointed, and to-morrow was
Thanksgiving. He looked over some
old paper collars in his drawer, and un
rolled the paper shirt-front he had
bought on his way home. He would
wash out his worn garment, and go
right to bed, in order that it might be
thoroughly dry by morning. He had
just got comfortably ensconced in bed.
with his wash stretched carefully on a
chair, when someone knocked at his
door.
“The landlady for her bill!” Jack
groaned in spirit.
“ Who’s there?” inquired Jack.
“ Nobody but me,” was the answer.
It was she, sure enough.
“ I beg you will excuse me to-night,
Mrs. Barnes,” replied Jack from be
tween the sheets; the fact is, Ive gone
to bed. If it won’t make any differ
ence to you, I’ll see you in the morn
ing.
“ But it will make a great deal of
CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDA Y, AFIIIL 7, 1875.
difference,” said the lady. “Please b;
kind enough to come to my sitting
room ; I wish to see you on business.”
Jack very well knew it was on busi
ness, and as he dressed himself—this
time without any shirt—l have his own
word again that it was the first time in
his life he ever wished himself dead.
“ Come in,” said the landlady, as he
timidly rapped for admittance. “ Sit
down—l’ll be back in a moment.”
Jack never suspected that she was
bound for his room ; but that is just
where she went. One glance at this
chamber, and, with a tear in her eye,
the kind-hearted woman went back to
her visitor. For a moment she stood
quietly regarding him.
“ I am very sorry, Mrs. Barnes,”
Jack commenced. “ I know I never
should, have remained so long, but I
have been so confident something would
turn up—”
“ Now, stop right where you are,”
interrupted the lady, placing her hand
on his arm. “I am old enough to be
your mother, and I know all about it.
You are making a brave fight, and (I
say it with my heart ready to burst, my
dear boy.) lam proud of you. I have
long ago kept my eye on you, I want
ynu to understand. Yes, I have—in
deed I have.” And before Jack could
comprehend the situation, his landlady
was in tears.
“ Yes,” she continued, “ I have just
seen that shirt hung up to dry—yes, I
have; and then wiped away the tears,
and laughed as hard as she had cried,
“ why didn’t you tell me, you bad boy,
that you had not but one shirt to your
back ?”
Jack stood as one in a dream.
“ But, Mrs. Barnes—” he began.
“ Don’t but,” she replied, “ Now, I
want to know where your overcoat is ;
I missed it from the closet a long time
ago.”
No answer.
“ You have got the ticket in your
pocket I suppose ?”
With a very red face, Jack owned
up
“ Well, now,” she hurried on, “three
or four years ago, your father gave me
some money to distribute among those
who needed it .at Thanksgiving time.”
(This was true; but Mrs. Bafnestold
a big story when she affirmed that she
had some of it left.)
“ I have been very careful of it.—
This money is yours. Not a word—”
as Jack tried to s> eak. “ Now, go and
get everything you need, and don’t
bother about me; I am not in tbe least
afraid but you will pay me.
Jack escorted Miss Flemming to
church Thanksgiving morning; and,
either because of his better outward
condition or the smiles and encourage
ment of the young lady, his future lit
erary efforts were crowned with suc<
cess.
The next Thanksgiving day saw Miss
Flemming Mrs. Hyer, but to this day
Jack does not know that to her he owed
all the good fortune of that Thanksgiv
ing evening—his overcoat, shirts and
boots every one being bought with the
money she had received for a magazine
story. — Baldwin s Monthly.
Trust Her.
Confidence is everything between
husband, and wife; and a woman who
loves, desires above everything to be
trusted. She would not be glad when
he is sad. She would not be ignorant
of his troubles or his anxieties. Any
thing is better to her than to be shut
out from the innermost of the life of
one who should be all hers as she is all
his. Women generally are averse to
keeping things to themselves, and a
husband is often overdosed with confi
deuce; but many really affectionate
men lead, as far as their wives are con
cerned, a double life. Of that which
is not domestic they think it right to
say nothing. Some grievous troubles
may be upon them —dread of failure,
certainty of loss, rumors of some mis
take which has plunged them into anx
iety ; and they make no sign of it save
by a change of manner, which to the
women who are ignorant that they have
any cares, is incomprehensible.
The wife would gladly be sympathet
ic, but when a frowning brow, silence,
and the lack of usual caresses, are all
the tokens that she has of her leige
Lord’s trouble, all her boasted intuition
cannot keep her from flying to the con
clusion, that it is a persoual matter —
that she is no longer loved or that he
loves someone else. And I believe
much domestic misery has been caused
in the first place by the man’s secre
tiveness when he had no secrets which
might not have been shared by his
wife.
Y’ou may say, why should he talk to
one who cannot understand or give
counsel, to a being with such vague
ideas of stocks, and banking, and spec
ulation, and she can only wonder why
things have gone wrong ? Well, there
are many reasons ; the woman wh >
holds him dear will give him more sym
pathy than any other living being, for
one thing; aud he needs sympathy,
whether he knows it or not. And then
she has her rights, for she is a partner
in a firm of two, and the books should
not be closed to her. She is mate of the
vessel in which he is captain, and sure
ly should know what shoals are near;
aud, moreover, if you love her, you do
not want to make her miserable. Trust
her.— Mary Kyle Dallas, In A r . Y.
Ledger.
Mr. Spurgeon says : When the lofty
palm-tree of Leilan puts forth its Hov
er, the sheath bursts with a report that
shakes the forest; but thousands of
other flowers, of equal value, opens in
the morning, and the very dew drops
hear no sound. Even so, many souls
do blossotn iu mercy, and tne world
hears neither whirlwind nor tempest.
Shakspearc uot Appreciated.
A few days ago young Gurley, whose
father lives on Groghaa street, organ
ized a theatrical company and purchased
a dime novel, the play of “ Hamlet.”—
The company consisted of three boys
and a hostler, and Mr. Gurley’s hired
girl was to be the Ghost if the troupe
could guarantee her fifty cents every
night.
Young Gurley suddenly bloomed out
a professional, and when his mother
asked him to bring in some wood he
replied :
“ Though I am penniless thou canst
not degrade me !”
“ You trot out after that wood or I’ll
have your father trounce you I” she ex
claimed.
“ The tyrant who lays his hand upon
me t! die 1” replied the boy, but he
got the wood.
He came out on the step when a man
came along and asked him where La
fayette street was.
“ Doomed for a certain time to roam
the earth \” replied Gurley in a hoarse
voice, aud holding his right arm out
straight,
“ Isa ! Where is Lafayette
street?” called the man.
“Ah ! Could the dead but speak—
ah ” continued Gurley.
The man drove him into the house,
and his mother sent him to the grocery
for potatoes.
“ I go most noble duchess,” he said
as he took the basket, ,“ but my good
sword shall one day avenge these in
sults !”
He knew the grocer favored theatri
cals, and when he got there he said :
“ Art thou provided with a store of
that vegetable known a ’tatar, most ex*
cellent duke ?”
“ What in thunder do you want ?”
growjed the grocer as he cleaned the
cheese knife on a piece of paper.
“ Thy plebeian mind is dull of com
prehension !” answered Gurley.
“ Don’t try to get any of your non
sense on me, or I’ll crack your empty
pate in a minute !” roared the grocer,
and “ Hamlet” had to come down from
his high horse and ask for a peck ofpo
tatoes.
“ What made you so long ” asked his
mother as he returned.
“ Thy grave shall be dug in the cy
press glade !” he haughtily answered.
When his father came home at noon
Mrs. Gurley told him that she believed
the boy going crazy, and related
what had occurred.
“ I see what ails him,” mused the
father ; “ this explains whv he hangs
around Johnson’s barn so much.”
At the dinner table young Gurley
spoke of his father as the “ illustrious
count,” and when his mother asked him
if he would have some butter-gravy he
answered :
“ The appetite of a warrior cannot
be satisfied with such nonsense.”
When the meal was over the father
went out to his favorite shad tree, cut a
sprout, and the boy was asked to step
out into the woodshed and see if the
penstock was frozen up. He found the
old man there, and said:
“ Why, most noble Lord, I had sup
posed thee far away !”
“ I’m not so far away but what I’m
going to make you skip !” growled the
father. “ I’ll teach you to fool around
with ten cent tragedies! Come up
here !”
For about five minutes the woodshed
was full of dancing feet, flving arms
and moving bodies, and then the old
man took a rest and inquired :
“ There, your highness, dost want
any more ?”
“Oh ! no dad—not a darned bit!”
wailed the young manager , and w r hile
the father started for down town he
went in and sorrowfully informed the
hired girl that he must cancel her en
gagement until the fall season.
At the 31iirS)er"s.
“ Next !” shouted u barber, who had
just finished a customer.
Two persons at once sprang from
their seats, where they had been pa
tiently waiting, and approached the
knight of the lather, and both looking
ferociously and inquiringly at each oth
er.
One of them was an elderly person
age, evidently from the country; the
other was a young sprig of city breed,
whose down had just began to indicate
the slow and uncertain approach of
beard.
“ Which of you is the next ?” said
the barber.
“ I am,” said the young man.
“ No, you are not. We both enter
ed at the same time; and of course, as
I am the oldest, I claim the first
chance. Besides lamina great bur-
J)
r >-
“ Ah, old party, I see you are from
the country, and, of course, do not
know the rules of city society govern
ing such cases as this,” said the youth
“ What is the rule?”
“ Simply this. Beauty goes before
age —so I will take the chair. See !”
“ Oh, well, that’s right, Mr. Barber
shave him first. He has got the best
of me by that city rule of his ; and
come to think of it, he is right accord
mg to the rule where I come from.”
“ Indeed! What is the rule where
you come from, old party ?” asked the
young fellow, as he fixed himself corn
foitably in the barber’s chair.”
“ Well, young man, the rule up my
way is, that we always keep the hogs
ahead of us. So you can go ahead
Barber, it’s all right,” said he, taking
up a paper and beginning to read.
If all men were to take their mis
fortunes together iu one place, most
would be glad to take his own home
again, rather than take a portion out of
the common stock. — Solon.
A Schoolmaster Around Loose.
Four or five days ago a man about
forty years of age, looking as if he had
been drawn over a dusty floor for an
hour or two. called upon one of the
members of tiie board of education, and
introduced himself as William Cannon
Harrison of Siginaw couuty. He was
politely received, and he commenced
business promptly by saying :
“I’m a-looking for a situation as a
school teacher.”
“Ah, ha !” replied the member won
dering why the man wasn’t looking for
a wood pile.
“I could have brought a pile of re
commendations so high,” continued the
man, measuring with his hands, “but
recommends don’t amount to anything.”
“And have you any school in view V*
asked the member.
“I want to get it here, in Detroit,”
replied the man. “What wages do you
pay ?”
“I am afraid—” began the member,
when the schoolmaster interrupted :
“Oh ! well, I s’pose you pay going
wages, and that’s all I can ask for; I
don’t want to put on style and live high,
as I’m gettin’ a lectio old, and ought to
save money.”
“As I was going to remark—” said
the member, when the schoolmaster sud
denly inquired ;
“Do they allow licking in the schools
here ? If they do, I’m the man you
want to dress the boys down ! I’ve had
'em come for me by the dozen, and it
would do your heart good to see the
way I laid 'em ! Why, when I had
that school in Bay county I thought
nothing of licking thirty scholars a day,
besides hearing twelve classes recite !
I'm an old screamer, I tell you, and
there’s fun in me when you get me
woke up !”
“I hardly think—” commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up and said :
“Of course you won’t take me unless
I pass examination, but I hain’t afraid
of not passing. I’d like to see a word
I couldn’t spell ! For instance : ‘Ca
tarrh : ’ ‘C-a-t-a-r-r-.h, catarrh, ‘Dande
lion ‘B-a n-d-e-l-i-o n, dandelion,’
or try me on words of four syllabes.—
Lugubrious ‘L u-g-u-b-r-i-o-u-s, lu
gubrious.’ Oh! I can knock the seeks
right off’n these swell headed teachers
and not half try.”
“I should like to help you,” put in
the member, “but ”
“Oh ! you needn’t think I’m behind
on geography,” interrupted the teacher.
“Far instance : What is an isthmus ?
An isthmus is a narrow strip of land
connecting two larger bodies. Is the
word round or flat? Bound. Why is
it round ? Because it is Which is the
largest river in the worll ? The Amazon.
Which is the highest mountain ? The
Andes. I might go on for seventy, five
days this way, and then not tell you
half I know!”
“You seem to be pretty well posted on
geography, but as I wanted to tell ”
“And on grammar, too !” exclaimed
the teacher, jumping up again. “What
is a noun ’! A noun is the name of any
person place or thing. Give us an ex
ample: Man, dog, cat, coon, goat, jack
knife, fisH-hook, gate~post. What are
the principle conjunctions? And, as,
both, because, for, if, that, or, not,
either, and so forth and so forth. Oh 1
I’m right on the roof of the meeting
house when you sling grammar at me.”
The member was getting despeiate,
and as soon as he could get in a word he
said :
“I will take your name, and as soon
as a vacancy—- —”
“And I know arithmetic from cover
to cover !” exclaimed the man, standing
up again. “I can go through the tables
like lightning through a haystack, and
when you get to fractions and cube-root
I’m awful—l weigh a ton and a half
and still growing ! Tlithmetie is my fa
vorite study, and I’ll give you fifty
dollars to fiud a man who’ll saw sums
in two and plane ’em down as quickly as
I can !”
His speech took the wind out of him,
and the member managed to say there
was no vacancy at present, but he would
take bis name and consider his case as
soon as one occurred.
“I’d like to commence right off!” re
plied the man, “but I’m willing to wait.
Here’s my name, and the minit I get
your letter I will come down a-flying.—
If you get me, you don’t get much style,
but you get solid, old common-sense
and genuine education. You won’t see
scholars playing hid and-scoop around
the wood-box or marbles on the floor —
no you won’t.”
And he went down stairs.— Detroit
Free Press.
Going to tlie Dentist.
I like to come across a mau with the
toothache. There’s something so pleas
ant iu advising him to stuff cotton in U,
to use camphor, creosote, peppermint
and “relief,”, tht I always feelt better
after giving it.
I have been there—had an aching
snag —and I know just how it feels.—
It used to wake me up nights, and make
me mad at noon, set me swearing early
in the morning I didn't meet a man
or a woman but what they advised me.
One said that a hot knitting-needle
to the roots was an excel
lent thing ; and another said it must be
dug out by the dentist.
If I sat down to dinner that old tooth
began to growl. If I went to bed or
got up, or went to a party, or stayed at
home, it growled just the same.
It wasn’t always a growl; sometimes
it was a jump that made my hair stand
up, and again a sort of a cutting pain
that made me make faces at the baby,
slam doors and break windows. I ate
cotton, peppermint, camphor and opium
until I got black in the face, and that
eld snag kept right on. I put bags of
hot ashes to my check, applied mustard,
held my head in the oven, took a sweat,
and that ache still ached.
After the third week the neighbors
didn’t let their boys pass my house, and
tin-peddlers and book-peddlers went
around on another street. I was be
coming a menagerie and at last I de
cided to have my tooth out. I decided
to, aud then decided not to. I changed
my mind four times in one afternoon,
aud at last I went.
The deutist was glad to see me.—
He said if he could not take that tooth
out without hurting me he would give
me a million doPars. It got easier as lie
talked and I concluded not to have it
pulled. I then started down stairs, but
a jump caught me and I started back.
He said he would look at it perhaps it
did narneed killing at all, but he could
kill the nerve,
By dint of flattery he got me into the
chair. Then he softly inserted a knife
and cut away the gums. I looked up
and said I would kill him, but he begged
me not to ; said the cutting was all the
pain there was in it. He finally got
me to lean back and open uiy mouth,
and he slipped in his forceps and closed
them around the tooth.
“Ohdordonboidessuror !” I cried, but
ho didn’t pay any attention to it. lie
drew in a full breath grasped the forceps
tightly, and pulled !
Great spoons! but did’at he pull ?
It seemed as if my head was going ! I
tried to shout, grappled at him, kicked,
and then he held up tfie old snag and
said:
“There, T guess you won’t feel any
more aching!”
I leaped down and hugged him.* I
promised him $10,000,000. I told
him to make my home his home forever.
I .hugged him again. I shook hands
with every body on the street, kissed
my wife, bought the baby a dozen rat
tle boxes in a heap, and it seemed as if
the world was too small fur Die, I was so
happy.
Man ami Wife.
Thomas Jefferson wrote the following
excellent advice. There is much hu
man nature and good sense in. it. Har
mony in a married state is the very first
thing to be aimed at. Nothing can pre
serve affection uninterrupted but a firm
resolution never to differ in will, and
the determination of each to cousider
the love of the other of more value
than any other earthly object whatever
on which a wish can be fixed. How
light, in fact, is the sacrifice of any
wish when weighed against the affec
tions of one with whom we are to pass
our life. Opposition in a single in
stance will hardly of itself produce al
ienation ; this only takes place when all
the oppositions are put as it were, in a
[ouch, which while it is filling, the al
ienation is insensibly going on, and
when fu'l it is complete. It would
puzzle either to say who, because no
one difference of opinion has been
marked enough to produce a serious ef
feet itself. The affections are wearied
out by a constant stream of little obsta
cles. Other sources of its discontent,
very common indeed, are the little pur
pose of husband wife in common con
versation —a disposition in either to
criticise and question what the other
sacs, a desire always to demonstrate
and make the other feel in tbe wrong,
especially in company. Nothing is so
goading. Much better, therefore, if,
our companion views a thing in a differ*
ent light from what we do, leave him in
the quiet possession of his views. What
is the use of rectifying him if the
tiling be unimportant ? Let it pass for
the present and wait a softer moment and
conciliatory occasion of reviewing the
subject together. It is wonderful how
many persons are rendered unhappy by
inattention to the little rules of pru
dence.
Thought I’l Though Is.
Labor rids us of great evil—poverty,
vice and ennui,
Elatteiy is a sort of bad money, to
which our vanity gives currency.
True eloquence consists in saying
all that is necessar} r and nothing more.
He who murmurs at his lot is like
one barring his feet to tread upon
thorns.
Modesty is to merit as shades to fig
ures in a picture, giving it strength and
beauty.
If a man has a great idea of himself
it is apt to be the only great idea he'll
over have.
All is hollow where the heart bears
not a part, and all is peril where prin
ciple is not the guide.
Leisure is sweet to those who have
earned it, but burtheusome to those who
get it for nothing.
The gift of prayer may have praise
from men ; but it is the grace of pray
er that has power with God.
The wheel of fortune turns incessant
ly round, and who can say within him
self I shall to-day be uppermost?
Those that are bound for heaven must
be willing to swim against the stream
and must not do as most do, but as the
best do.
The best of lessons for a good many
people would be to listen at a keyhole.
It is a pity for such that the practice is
dishonorable.
The way to conquer men is by their
passions; catch but tLe ruling foible of
their hearts and all their boasted vir
tues shrink before vou.
Men are apt to censure sharply in
others what they practice themselves
without scruple. Plutarch tells of a
wolf which, peeping into a hut where
a company of shepherds were regaling
themselves with a leg of mutton, ex
claimed : What a clamor would they
have raised if they had caught me at
fci ch a banquet?
VO L. V.—XO. 36.
•St S
‘•V.liat plan,” said one actor to an
other, "shall 1 adopt to fill the l.ot>d at
tny benefit I" “Invite y nr creditor*,"
was tiie suriy reply.
“If you intend to hug mn don’t do it
suddenly, because the chair you are sit-
Hug on has a broken leg, and yon might
cl tumble.
I here! that explains where my
clothes line went to!” exclaimed ai
lowa woman as she found her husband
hanging in the stable.
•T want t° engage you for two sets
ahead, said a fellow at a ball. “As I.
can’t accommodate Jo* " she replied,
back ” I®aJ 1 ® aJ tU ® ivc ' ul * 0110 sefc
My lecture,” sad a California orator,
• lull be brief.” A turnip hit him on
tlie • divide at that instant, and lie an
nounced : “ The meeting stands •ad
journed i *
"Fd like to give something to the
pooi, remarked a Toledo ladv. “It’s
hard times and they must be 'suffering,
out Ive got to use this £-10 to buy an
other switch.
•‘Breddern,” said a cufluj preacher,-
■1 knows that llrodder lleecher am in
noceut a,id you must belebe him inno
cent likewise. But it am jist possibul
he s duo been among skunks.”
“Julius, why didn’t you oblong your
stay at the Springs ?” “Kase, Mr. Snow,
dey charge too much.” “How so, Ju
, • ydc landlord charged dis
colored* individual wid stealing do
spoons.” °
. ( “ n Sunday evening his wife asked
uim where he was going, as she observ
ed him putting on his overcoat. “I am
going to sally forth,” lie replied. “Let
me catch you going with any gaily
forth.” J
“I sweat,” said a genlJemritf to his
mistress, “you are very handsome.”—
“Fooli !” said the lady, “so you would
say if you did not thi.ik so.” “And so
you would think,” answered he, “though
I should not say so.” °
“Bo you know who I am ?” asked a
laughty Highlander of a cabman, at
tempting, as Mackintosh thought, to
overcharge him. “I’m the Mackintosh."
“I don t care,” said the cabby, ‘ if you
were the umbrella; I mean to have my
fare. 3
genial bald-headed gentleman,
, . e 111 Paris, went one day to the Zoo
logical Gardens. The weather was
warm, and lie laid down on a bench.
Presently ho fell asleep, and he was
aroused by a warmth about the head.—
An infatuated ostrich had come alou-,
and, mistaking his b. Id head for an
settled down, with the determined reso
lution to hatch it.
“Eatyour bread Charles—do not fli„„
it away,” said a learned and good
to one of his family, adding, “for who
knows, in the vicissitudes of life, if you
may not some day want it.” The old
gentleman had to cough, look learned
and go away, when the youngster an
swered more logically : “If I ea t it how
can I have it when 1 want it?” This is
the result of a learned judge having
children.
A calculation of the effect of a slight
gratuity on a hotel or restaurant waiter
comes out something as follows : Three
cents Slight bow ; apt to inspect coin
a * lf expecting it to change into some,
thing larger. Five eents—“ ’blieed ”
Sis c ODU-“Th a „k you.” Tea cents
‘ihank you, Colonel." Fifteen cents
iuank yon, General.” Twenty
eents—Low bow ; flourish of napkin •
formula as above. Quarter—Profound
bow ; alacrity to fin J hat; feint to brush
it with elbow ; door held open,
An old fashioned couple who were
waiting at the Central Bepot recent]/
to continue ther journey westward were
strolling up Third street and gazing
around, when the woman espied one of
the street cars of the city railway lino
which happened to be empty at the mo’
ment. “T„at’s a boss car,” replied her
husband to ,er query. “So that’s a
boss car, eh ? she mused, mounting
the step and looking in. “Well, now
who and ever think they’d go and fix un
cars as nice as this to ride bosses in !”
—Detroit Free I ress.
A young man of Cairo, Hi, #S,'f e
talking to an old graysheaded darkey
ou the extreme cold weather, asked the
old man if he could explain W reason
ibe old man said ‘‘Why, yes, dare aint
anything sing ler ’bout it. I can explain
dat in a rninit. Don’t you ’member dat
comat what we had las’ fall ? And don’t
yon ’n.ember dat we had a yanh q uaU
about dat time ? Ihe young man an
swered that he aid not remember the
circumstances, when the old man said :
‘ W ell, de fact is dat comat struck dis
jartn and caused dat yarthquake and
it butted so hard dat it done sent dis
yarth about tree or four hundred miles
fudder north, and data de cause of the
present cold weather.”
A countryman bought a shirt in Ra
lc.g 1, V C, woich was the first whito
one he had ever owned. The next Sun
day he was to he married, and that was
the important occasion that had incited
him to the purchase. The shir* had a
nice starched bosom, and was open in
the bacK a style that was new to its
possessor. After careful study he put
it on with the opening in front, conclu
ding that the stiff bosom was intended
as a kind of shoulder b'ace to make him
stfinu erect. Thus dressed, he met the
bride at the church door; but her
knowledge was greater than his about
shirts, and she made him go home and
reve se the garment before she would
ailov the ceremony to proceed.