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CALHOUN WEEKLY TIMES.
15Y D. 13. FREEMAN.
CALHOUN TIMES
Office: Wall St., Southwest of Court House.
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One Year $2.00
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sequent insertion, fifty cents.
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Rates of Legal Advertising.
Sheriff’s Sales, each levy $4 00
Citation for letters of Administration
and Guardianship 4 00
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square 4 00
Each additional square 2 00
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jg J. KIKEIt ll SON,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Will practice in all the Courts of the Cher*
-■ Circuit; Supreme Court ot Georgia, and
t\. United States District Court at Atlanta,
Ga. Office: Sutheast corner of the Court
House, Calhoun, Ga.
J 1). TINSLEY,
Watch-Maker & Jeweler,
CALHOUN, GA.
All styles of Clocks, Watches and Jewelry
neatly repaired and warranted.
DICE WALDO \ HOUNTON,
II D. D. S.
DENTIST.
Office over Geo. W. Wells & Co.’s Agricul
tural Warehouse.
J 11. ARTHUR,
DEALER IN
QENERAL MERCHANDISE,
RAILROAD STREET,
Calhoun , Ga.
11 K. MAIN, M, D.
PRACTICING PHYSICIAN,
Having permanently located in Calhoun,
offers his professional services to the pub
lic. Will attend all calls when not profes
sionally engaged. Office at the Calhoun
Hotel.
*1?. tml. 3ei:2LiXjX&’
LIVERY MALE STABLE
Good Saddle and Buggy Horse?
and New Vehicles.
Horses and mules for sale.
Stock fed and cared for.
Charges will be reasonable.
Will p.ty the cash for corn in the ear and
'odder in the bundle. feb3-tf.
Attention. !
HU IE undersigned have located themselves
1 at the Mims Tan-yard, on the Love’s
Bridge road, 3j miles from Calhoun, for
the purpose of carrying on
THE TAKHINB BUSINESS.
They are prepared to receive hides to tan
on shares, or will exchange leather ior
hides. They bind themselves to prepare
leather in workmanlike style.
WII. HUNTER & SON.
September 14, 1875.’2m.
Executor’s Sale .
BY virtue of an order from the Court of
Ordinary of Gordon county, will be sold
on the first Tuesday in December next, at
the Court Home door in said county, be
tween tit ■ legal hours of sale, the tract or
parcel of lands in said county, which said
Thomas B Scott owned at the time of h s
death, viz; east half of lot number 5/, in
the 6th district and 3d section, containing
eighty acres, more or less; said land sold
as the property of Thomas D. Scott, for the
benefit of his heirs and creditors. Terms,
one fourth cash, one fourth twelve months
after elate, one fourth t',vo years after date,
and the other fourth three years after date,
wioh interest from date if not punctually
paid, with good security, and the adminis
crator will give bond for title until the pur
tkase money is paid.
B. F. MOSTELLER,
Execute r of T D Neott.
nov3 30d—printer’s fees 7
Grrmi
IA. J.P.FrrtEB.— Eo!r<? swore, far". I f-rnd-atA tt t’ J
“ : • 7CT - -7 f - "cre’i in I .Xr tl. 1' l) y rj*e:: cr: ,
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P-v.-VU ”f'ipneT’.rhror'-'uT'-’
'-Smith, ), J>.Y. 1 ’ cr.iSc.n.Vppr*,Tr : ;{ *
1 fil'otH ehortrt writ*Pr.Fi *lor, 1 hi! , u.ere er
r "' 're Pnjtinhlr't f~. m-re T '.tf'e,"riitio. Jtf(l*wrC j'-rr •
r.wribta caso.Fo cur j no cAnrso.b reality.£cld ifCrv^:^
mMcrpliiiiß HaMt
IMBmpirance
speedily cured by DR. BECK’S only known and
'-are Remedy. XO CHARGE for treatment
Until cured. Call ou or address
Sr. J. G. BECK, 112 John St., Cincinnati, 0.
JEtaitroad frfcrtlutr.
Western & Atlantic Railroad
AND ITS CONNECTIONS.
‘ 1 KENNESA W RO UTE.”
The following takes effect may 23d, 1875
NORTHWARD. No. 1.
Leave Atlanta 4,10 p.m
Arrive Cartersville 6.14
Kingston 6.42 “
“ Dalton 8.24 “
“ Chattanooga 10.25 “
No. 3.
Leave Atlanta 7.00 a.m
Arrive Cartersviile 9.22 ~
“ Kingston 9,66
“ Dalton H. 64 <<
Chattanooga 1.56 p.m
No. 11.
Leave Atlanta 3,30 p.m
Arrive Cartersville 7.19 “
“ Kingston 8.21 “
“ Dalton 11.18 “
SOUTHWARD. No. 2.
Leave Chattanooga 4.00 p.m
Arrive Dalton 5.41 <
“ Kingston 728 “
“ Cartersville 8.12 “
“ Atlanta 10.15 “
► No. 4.
Leave Chattanooga 6.00 a.m
Arrive Dalton 7,01 <<
“ Kingston 9.07 “
“ Cartersville 9.42 “
“ Atlanta 12 06 p.m
No. 12.
Leave Dalton 1.00 a.m
Arrive Kingston 4.19 <•
“ Cartersville 5.18 “
“ Atlanta 9. 20 “
Pullman Palace Oars run cn Nos. 1 and 2
between New Orleans and Baltimore.
Pullman Palace Cars run on Nos. 1 and 4
between Atlanta and Nashville.
Pullman Palace Cars run on Nos. 2 and 3
bitweec Louisville and Atlanta.
BNo change of cars between New Or
leans, Mobile, Montgomery, Atlanta and
Baltimore, and only one change to New
York.
Passengers leaving Atlanta at 4.10 r. m.,
arrive in New York the second afternoon
thereafter t,t 4.00.
Excursion tickets to the Virginia springs
and various summer resorts will be on sale
in New Orleans, Mobile, Montgomery, Co
lumbus, Macon, Savannah, Augusta and At
lanta, at greatly reduced rates, first of
June.
Parties desiring a whole car through to
the Virginia Springs or Baltimore, should
address the undersigned.
Parties contemplating travel should send
for a copy of the Kennesaw Route Gazette,
containing schedules, etc.
Ask for Tickets via “ Kennesaw
Route.”
B. W. WRENN,
G. P. & T. A., Atlanta, Ga.
Change of Schedule.
ON THE GEORGIA AND MACON AND
AUGUSTA RAILROADS.
ON AND AFTER SUNDAY, JUNE 28th,
1874, the Passenger Trains on the Georgia
and Macon and Augusta Railroads will run
as follows:
GEORGIA RAILROAD.
Day Passenger Train Will
Leave Augusta at 8:45 a m
Leave Atlanta at 7:00 a m
Arrive in Augusta at 3:30 p m
Arrive in Atlanta at 5:45 p m
Niggt Passenger Train.
Leave Augusta at 8:15 p m
Leave Atlanta at 10:30 p rn
Arrive in Augusta at 8:15 a m
Arrive in Atlanta at 6:22 a m
MACON AND AUGUSTA RAILROAD.
Macon Passenger Train.
Leave Augusta at 0n...10:45 a m
Leave Canmk at 2:15 p m
Arrive at Macon at 6:40 p m
Leave Macon at 6:30 a m
Arrive at, Camak at 10.-45 a m
Arrive at Augusta at 2:00 p m
BERZELI.4 PASSENGER TRAIN.
Leave Augusta at 4; 15 p m
Leave Berzelia at 8:30 a m
Arrive <ll Augusta at 9:55 a m
Arrive in Berzelia at 5:50 p m
Passengers from Athens, Washington, At
lanta, or any point on the Georgia Rail
road and Branches, by taking the Day Pas
senger Train, will make close connection
at Camak with trains for Macon and all
points beyond.
Pullman’s (First-Class) Talace sleepin
Cars on all Night Passenger Trains on h
Georgia Railroad.
S. K. JOHNSON, Superintendent ,
Superintendent’s Office Georgia and Macon
and Augusta Railroads, Augusta, June
29, 1874,
Awarded the Highest Medal at Vienna.
E. & H. T ANTHONY & CO.,
591 Broadway, New York.
(Opp. Metropolitan Hotel.)
Manufacturers, Importers & Deal
ers in
CHIiGMGS AND FRAMES,
Stereoscopes and Views,
Albums, Graphoscopes an 1 suitable views,
Photograph ic Materials,
We are Headquarters fo“ everything in the
way of
Stereoscopticons and Magic
Lanterns.
Being manufacturers of the
Micro- Scient ijic La >< tern,
Stereo-Panopticon,
University-Stereo&copticon,
AdvcitisePs Stereoscopt icon,
4 rt opt icon,
School Lantern, Family Lantern,
People's Lantern.
Each style being the best of its class in the
market.
Catalogues of Lanterns and Slides with
directions for using sent on application.
Any enterprising man can make money
with a magic lantern.
this advertisement for refer
ence. sep29'9m
Special USTotice.
MISS HUDGINS can now befound at
MRS. MILLS’
FURNISHING ESTABLISHMENT,
51 Broad Street, Rome, Ga., where she is
prepared to do Mantua making and Cutting
in all its branches. Call and see.
Mrs. Mills is receiving a full stock of
millinery and fancy notions, latest styles
felt, straw and velvet hats, cloaks, sacks
and wraps in endless variety. Everything
accessary kept for ladies’ outfit. [sep29-7m.
CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 15, 1875.
GOING HOME.
The way is long, my dailing,
The road is rough and steep,
And fast across the evening sky
I see the shadows sweep.
But oh i my love, my darling,
No ill to us can come,
No terror turn us from the path.
For we are going home.
Your feet are tired, my darling—
So tired, the tender feet ;
But think, when they are there at last,
How sweet the rest! how sweet!
For lo ! the lamps are lighted,
And yonder gleaming dome,
Before us shining like a star.
Shall guide our footsteps home.
Wev’e lost the flowers we gathered
So early in the morn;
And on we go with *mpty hands,
And garments soiHd and worn,
But oh! the gr:at All-Father
W ill out to meet us come,
An 1 fairer flowers and whiter robes
There wait for us at home.
Art cold, my love, and famished ?
Art faint, and sore athirst ?
Be patient yet a little while,
And joyous as at first;
For oh ! the sun sets never
Within that land of bloom.
And thou t halt eat the bread of life
And drink the wine at heme.
The wind was cold, my darling.
Adown the mountain steep,
And t ;ick across the evening sky
The darkening shadows creep ;
But oh! my press onward,
Whatever trials may come,
For in the way the Father set,
We, too, are going home !
A SOLDIERS STORY.
Mow a, Soldier’s Gallantry was
Rewarded by a ftouOiei'a EScIIe
—a Reminieaee of ike War.
It was in the winter of* 1865, shortly
before the collapse of the rebellion,that
General Shaler, commanding at De
Vail’s Bluff Arkansas.sent a detachment
ol cavalry up into the Cache river coun
try to intercept some contraband goods
that were being smuggled through the
lines to the enemy. That country was
an almost interminable wilderness of
swamps and forests oi* cypress and gum
trees in America that any one would be
supposed to choose a home. There were
occasional spots, however, of a few hun
dred acres each, a li tie higher than the
surrounding country, that by much ex
pense had been converted into hand
some and valuable estates, with large
and portentious residences for the
wealthy owners who though isolated
from the busy world, were content to
forego some ol its pleasures for the peace
and quiet seclusion thus afforded. Once
each year, when the cotton was ready
for shipment, and the little river was
swollen by the winter rains, a steamer
would come up to the plantation and
take the season’s product and the plant
er’s family to New Orleans, where the
cotton would be disposed of and a year’s
supplies purchased. Then, after a few
weeks spent in the society of the me>-
troplis, they would be carried safely
back to the landing at home. Thus the
years were spent until the children,
who had been under instructors at home,
were far enough advanced to be sent
abroad to finish their education.
It was at one of these plantations
that the squadron of cavalry was halted
and dismounted about daylight, with in
structions to surround the house and al
low no one to escape. The lieutenant
then directed a sergeant and six men to
go through the house and seize any
goods that might be contraband of war.
The detail was made, and the men pro
ceeded to their work Entering the
house, the sergeant made the inmates
acquaint and with the nature of his er
rand, and assured them that all the pri
vateproperty should be respected When
the party ascended the stairs leading to
the second story, one of the men, a
young Prussian who had landed in this
country just in time to enlist, remained
below and passed into the parlor. Per
haps the single occupant of the room, a
beautiful girl may have attracted him,
and perhaps he didn’t just like this un
ceremonious style of ransacking a gen
tleman’s house war or no war. At any
rate the squad got along without him,
and came down presently and continued
their search. Ail the rooms had been
visited except one, and into this went
the entire party, young lady and all.—
There were four large trunks there, all
of the same attern and entirely new.—
The suspicious soldiers were aroused
still more w en the young lady asked the
privilege of opening and displaying the
contents herself. The request was grant
ed, but each man scanned the articles as
they were taken out expecting the long
looked for bolts of Confederate cloth
would be brought to light, They were
disappointed, however; there was noth
ing but what was evidently intended for
the household and the last trunk had
been emptied of its contents—not quite,
for the sergeant noticed that the draw
er in the lid had not Deeu opened, and
called the girl’s attention to it. With
a slight tremor of her voice, she replied
that there was nothing there but private
property, and she did not wish to re*
move it. This attracted the attention
of the men, who gathered around, when
the sergeant again demanded that the
search be made. Still the girl, who was
kneeling by the trunk, with her hands
resting on the lid. made no movement,
but looking imp’oringly into the faces of
the soldiers. She was a beautiful crea
ture, scarcely seventeen, yet with all the
grace and bearing of an accomplished
lady. Before the sergeant could repeat
the order or execute it himself, tW
Prussian, with a touch of the hat and a
polite bow to his superior officer, said :
“ If the young lady gives you her word
of honor that there is nothirg there we
seek, you should be satisfied.” “ Word
of honor !” repeated the sergeant, con
temptuously; “ honor among rebels in
deed P
Theie was a free fight iu an instant,
for the Prussian dealt him a terrible
blow which staggered him back among
his comrades who took sides against
the “ Dutchman,” leaving it uncertain
which would be victorious, wheu the
Lieutenant hearing the row, rushed in
and quelled it. In the excitement
which followed the trunk was forgotten,
and the party left the premises -and re
sumed their march When the war
was over, the troops were disbanded at
St. Louis, and the Prussian was lost
sight offer several years, until the rail
road from Memphis to Little R *ck jvas
revived, when he turned up a civil en
gineer, and assisted in locating the rout,
liis name was mentioned frequently in
the papers at the time, but when the
road was finished he disappeared again,
and I saw nor heard nothing of him un
til the other day l met a lady and gen
tleman in the cars, whose faces seemed
familiar and which proved to be my
Prussian comrade and his wife, the
planter’s daughter, whom he protected
in the war. Then followed a long story
of how the railroad was located across
the plantation, and how they met again
—a case of love at first sight—and
wore married, and had made a tour of
the lakes, re-visited the seminary at
Cine nnati where she was educated, and
were then on their way to California.
“ Well,” said I, “ you haven’t told me
what was in that trunk.”
“It was a pitcher full of gold and
silver coin,” said the happy Prussian,
“ but I didn’t know it till we were mar
ried.”
However that may ho, its value was
of no comparison to his treasure of a
wife.
They came near having a row in a
colored prayer meeting at Keytesvilie a
few nights ago. One of the sisters who
had a grievance prayed :
“o,Lord I look dowffon Dy resembled
children hyar dis ebenin’, and moob ’em
wid Dy grace. Tetch dyar harts wid
de spirit ob all, ’bounding lub. Build
up dar faith so strong ue debbi! can t,
budge it, an’ ’specially would we ax, if
am possible wid de Redeemer, dat You
put a little moah sense into the obfusti
cated pate ob de yaliow wench what am
gigglin’ on de bench preopposite Dy be
lubbed servant.”
“What’s dat you’se savin’ to de Lord
’bout me V’ asked the wench, rising to
a point of oj^der.
Not seeming to notice the interrup
tion, the su. jilicator continued :
“ Gib our fool an’errin’sister more
disgumption, 0 Lord ! to see de differ
ence atwixt right an’ wrong, and larn
de huzzy to behave herself in Dy holy
sankchooary, ’stead of wrigglum round
like she was swollawed a corkscrew, au’
tamnatin’ dese saked presinks wid unho
ly winkins’ at de male an’ maskerline
proportion ob dis assembled gatheriu.’
An' oh—”
“ It’s a lie! good lord, it’s a lie ! an’
Dou in Dy infiuuiite .wisdom knows I
neber done it ?” shouted the traduced
member, who had now become nearly
wild with rage. “ Dar’s not one parti
cle ob troot in it. It’s a lie, an’ 1 can
masii de lies !”
Then she threw herself over the
bench on the back of the kneeling sis
ter, plunged her hands info the bustle
of that devout but indiscreet person and
lifted her up bodily.
Confusion reigned and dire dismay
was in many faces that but a moment
before were bright with the hope of
Heaven. But the stalwart deacon finally
separated the females, calmed their ex
cited feelings, aud addressing the re*
lieved audience iti an impressive tone,
said :
“ Bredern, it am better dat we dwell
togeder in impunity Less ’peal fo de
throne ob grace dat dar be no moah such
graceful disruption in our midst. Will
brudder Johnson please make de 'peal
in one ob liis power fa- pray’r • ?”
And the appeal was well and timely
made.
Family Prayer.
A few years ago I visited an old feud A
castle in England. One of its towers
dates from King John’s lime; its outer
wails bear marks of siege and damage
from the guns of Cromwell The young
owner, lately married, was beginning
his house keeping aright, and when I
came down to the old hail to beak fast,
his servants were all assembled for pray
er with the family. Though I was
ed to officiate, I lemindcd my kind host
that every man is priest in his own
household, and I begged him to officiaie
as he was used to do. And so he read
prayers and Holy Scripture, with due
solemnity, and we all kneeled down.
Happening to lift my eyes, I observed
over his head,on a massive oaken beam,
that spanned the hall, an inscription in
old English,which I caught at a g'ance,
and which deepened my solemn impres
sions of the privilege of family prayer.
It was nearly as follows :
That house shall be preserved, and
never shall decay.
“ W her 3 the Almighty God is wor>
shippel day by day.” A. D- 1553.
1 have modernized the spelling ; but
there these words have stood since the
days of Queen Elizabeth. On the walls
hung the portraits of my \ouog friend’s
ancestry ; among them, those children
of the Great Stafford, of whom he spoke
so beautifully, when he made his noble
defense, before he laied his head on the
block. Here was a scene widely differ
ing from the ‘‘Getter’s Saturday Night,”
but the principle was the same. The rich,
even more than the poor, need such a
light in their dwelling ; otherwise,“how
hardly shall they who have riches enter
into the kingdom of heaven.” —Bishop
Cox’s Covenant Prayers.
The Dutchman's Insurance.
| A story is told of a Dutchman who
had taken the precaution to insure the
, life of his wife for five hundred dollars,
and his stable for nine hundred, believ
ing the former might die, and the latter
be burnt, and he could not get along
without some compensation for the loss.
Both policies had been taken from the
same agent. In a few months after the
stable had been insured it was destroyed
by tire. Shmidt quietly notified the
agent, and hinted to him that he would
expect the nine hundred dollars at the
earlie t possible moment. The agent at
once sent a carpenter to ascertain the
cost ot erecting anew stable of the same
dimensions, having ascertained that the
I property had been insured for more than
it was worth. The builder reported
that he could replace the building with
new material for live hundred d> liars,
but unfortunately there was an ordinance
i preventing the e ecti m of frame build*
: t’ngs the old stable having been of
wood. He was asked to estimate the
cost of a brick stable and reported the
amount seven hundred and fifty dollars.
The agi-nt then notified Shmidt that he
would build him anew brick stable in
place of the old frame one ; but Shmidt
became very indignant at the proposis
Lion, saying : •
“ L do not understand dis insurance
business. I nay you for nine hundred
dollars, and when m. stable burn down
you make me a uev one. I not want a
new stable—l want nine hundred dol
lars.”
The agent reasoned with Shmidt, but
to no purpose.
When the stable was nearly finished,
Shmidt went to consult a lawyer, think
ing he could get the aumunt of the pol*
icy, besides having anew stable. The
lawyer, however, informed him that the
company had the right to make good
the loss by building anew stable, and
expressed surprise at the idea of bring
ing a suit against them.
“ But,” said Shmidt, “ I insure for
nine hundred dollar, and dis foliar put
up dem shtable for seven hundred and
fifty dollar ; I do not understand dis in
surance business.”
Finding that he could not compel the
payment by iuw, he became disgusted
with the insurance business altogether.
Gulfing upon the agent, Shmidt said :
“ Mr. Agent, I want you tostnpdem
insurance on mine flow. Ido n<>t pay
more monish dat way ; I not understand
dis insurance business.”
Agent (surprised): “Why, Mr.
Shmid\, you are doing a very foolish
thing. You have paid considerable on
this policy already, and if your wife
should die you would get five thousand
dollars.”
“ Yaw, dat is what you tell me now,”
said Shmidt. “Veil I pays you on my
shtables. you say I get nine hundred
dollars if it burn down. So it got burn
down, and you not give me my monish.
You say : “ Oh, dat vash an o and frame
shtables—ish not word anydings. I
make you anew brick shtables; and
you no pay me my nine hundred dollar
Ven mine frow die den you say to me :
“ Oh, she vash an old Dutch roman;
she not word anydings; I get you a
new English vife!,’ And so I lose
mine five thousand dollar. You not fool
Shmidt again. I not understand dis
insurance business.”
Ginnanicn Vine.
A correspondent list summer who
sent us a wreath of the branches of a
cinnamon vine’, so delighted the visitors
of our office with the delicious fragrance
which filled the entire room for days,
has at our request given us more specif
ic informallou about it. “ The tuber
was grown in a pot, tim only experiment
of the kind, which proves that it can fie
grown in the house, and po s of almost
any size for this purpose. I would re
yaarling tubers , the bulbs should be
planted in the garden, and the tubers at
one and two years oid.p’aufod where the
vines are wanted for ornaments around
arbours and front doors of dwellings.
Our strongest vines from three year old
roots, ran thirty feet; these weie in the
garden on lofty poles ; those bj' the side
o c the front door, two year old tubers,
wore conducted on heavy twines per*
pendieulurly, and then horizontally to
completely surround the entrance, top
and sides Morning glories were train
ed upon the same twine. The effect of
the beautiful green leaves of the two
vines, and the open flowers of the morn
ing glories, together with the fragrance
of the cinnamon vine, may he imagined,
but realized onlv by their presence.—
I IF. B, iggs, in Floral Cabinet.
Limit Tour Wants.
True individual wealth docs not con
sist iu dollars and cents —nor even what
these representations of exchange can
buy. To a certain limit, money is de
sirable—beyond that it is a burden —a
slaveholder, a curse. Wheneve- a man
possesses a sufficiency of money to buy
food that is wholesome, clothes that are
comfortable and drink that is palatable,
with a reasonable amount to pay travel
ing, sight-see ng and experimenting, he
owns enough to make him happy —pro*
vided that happiness comes from wealth.
And the world's espeiience is, that
rronev is not the only thing that brings
happiness; a satisfied mind is dearer
than riches. An individual who can
limit his wants possesses a mine of
wealth far more valuable than those of
California. Diogenes with his lantern
was more happy in his tub than Alex
ander weeping at the head of his army
for more worlds to conquer. Learn to
control your appetite, govern your pas
sions and live within your means ; then,
truly, you arc a rich man ; rich in that
which you carry with yoaj a soul filled
with wisdom, aud a mind devoid of
ear bly vanities.
Just ns you train your talents, just so
they will govern you Let combative
ness and destructiveness become unduly
emerged, and you will certainly become
a savage : let casualty and benevolence
control at or.ee, and you are a philan
thropist; then add to this proper train
ing of the perceptive and intuitive or
gan, and you become the true philoso
pher
Limit, then, your wants of dollars
and cnets, aud enlarge your capacity for
knowledge, wisdom, goodness, and con
tentment, if you wish to be happy here
and wear the crown of true manhood
hereafter. —National Granger.
- - iiumf fo— ■■ -
Cheerful Homes.
Frugal wives.good housewives, always
look as neat at breakfast ns circum
stances will permit. And the circum
stances usually “Is beyond her control,”
in any, are her husband and her sons.
The amount of litter, of things lost,
broken, or misplaced, which can be
maintain and by two or three, or six or
ten boys and men is something wonder*
ful ; and the marvel is, not that here
and there a mother comes to the break
fast table with a stitch dropped, or a
ribbon unadjusted, but that; the wearied
woman can get there at all.
If the wife is required to keep order
the husband and sons should avoid the
disorder. If they want hot coffee,aud
cold is di appointing, they must come
down in season to breakfast. And if a
man desires that his wife should look
plea antly and speak pleasantly,he should
find some time to permit her to speak,
an-* speak himself to her, between din*
ner one da*v and break last the next.
There are some men, and boys too, for
whom home has na attraction fi> the
evening. There are sons who seem to
regard the homo as only a place to eat
and sleep in. The mother of such sons
cannot be expected to look cheerful at
break last.
The Salt Lake Tribune, of a late date,
sa\s: “Aunt Nancy, that good old
soul, has returned again, like the au
tumn,with green veil and blue umorella.
tinted with time From the classic
shades of Cache she has come, to
claim her long disputed position as
queen of Brigham’s harem. The p tor
old lady has wandered for thirty years,
up and down on the earth, like a witch
upon the wind. For years aud years
she Headed begged aud entreated the
Prophet to take- her in out of the cold,
but he was deaf to her appeals. Her
loving words, whispered through
toothless gums and purple lips could not
awaken an echo in his heart. Nay when
her affection got slovenly Brigham put
her out of his house and shut the door
in her face, she snatched the cup
from his head and to this day wears
it as a bustle. But she always thought
that time would straighten out this
love affair, aud had consequently let
Briuham sow his wild oats and have his
fun, while she has resignedly waited his
royal pleasure. Now, after years have
sped away and when the fires of his
youth burn dim, be opens wide bis arms
to his fi: st love.”
A Tough Foot —They tell big sto
ries about the tough feet of the Louisi*
ana darkies, but the Vicksburg negro is
always ready to compete for the medal.
One of them entered a blacksmi h shop
the other day to sell a horse shoe, arid
he placed his foot on a piece of hot iron
just cut from the bar. It was a full
minute belore the heat struck in, and
then h.e gave a leap over the anvil, and
uttered a terrible yell The smith ask
ed him to explain, and llqj darkey re
sponded :
“ Why, I’ze bio standin’ on dat piece
ob red hot iron !”
“ And you didn’t know it?”
“ No, not zaetly ; but I smelt sum
thin’ kinder curus for a good while, but
I fought dar was a dead boss ’round
hyar somewhor !”
Duration of Lifk. —When Rome
flourished, the average length of human
life was twenty*!. ne years ; during the
sixteenth century it had increased among
the more cultivated nations to forty-one
years. Now the age of the English no
biiity averages fifty-three years. These
facts show that the spread of intelli
gence, in connection with the comforts
of life,especially when their continuance
is guaranteed so as to relieve the mind
from the care for daily bread, and from
all anxiety for future sustenance are im
portant elements in securing length of
years —more so than is generally imag
ined. Pensioned persons, whether in
palace or poor-house, have long been re
marked for their longevity ; and the
well-to do average eleven years longer
than day laborers.
One-Sided Men.
A writer in the Popular Science
Monthly says: I was once sitting in a
eool underground saloon at Leipsic,while
without people were ready to die from
the heat, when anew guest entered and
took a seat opposite to me. The sweat
rolled in great drops from his face, and
he was k<pt busy with his handkerchief,
till at last he found relief in the excia
mation, Fearfully hot !” I watched
him attentively as he called fora cool
drink, for I expected every mum nt that
he *mu!d fall from his chair in a fit of
apoplexy. The man must have noticed
that 1 was observing him. for he turned
toward me -ti V< nly. saying :
“ l am k curious suit of a person, am
r n it r
" Why ?” I asked.
“ Because I perspire oi.lv. oti the
right side.”
VOL. VI.--X 0.20.
And so it was; the right cheek and
the right hajf of his forehead were as
hot os fire, while the left side of his
*acc bore not a trace of perspiration. I
had never seen the like, and. in ray as
tonishment, was about to enter into con
tent ersution uiith him regarding his
physiological curiosity, when his neigh
bor on the left broke in with the re -
maik :
“ ‘ ken we aro the opposite and coun
terparts for each other ; for I perspire
only on the left side."
*i is t">o was the fact. So the pair
tour, seat-s opposite to each other, and
, °' k hands like two men who had just
Sound each his ether half.
“ That’s
1 was sitting down i;i tko Orphanage
grounds upon one of the seats, talking
with, one ot my brother trustees, when a
litiio tel low, I should think about eight
years ot age, .oil the other boys who
phjed around us and came deliberately
up to us. lie opened fire upon us thus :
“ i>lease > Spurgeon, I want to come
and sit down on that seat between you
two gentlemen." “Come along Bob,
and tell us what you want."
“ j>leasc - *' ]r - Spurgeon,suppose there
was a little hoy who had no father, who
hved in a.n orphanage with a lot of oth
er little boys who had no lathers, and
suppose those boys had mothers and
aunts, who corned once a month, and
brought them apples and oranges, and
gave them pennies, and cupposc this lit
tle boy had no mother, and nobody ever
corned to o.ing him Dice things, do’Dfc
y°u think somebody ought to give him
a penny i 'Cause, JJr. Sourgeon,that’s
me."
Somebody felt something wet in his
eve, and Lob got a sixpence, and wont
f ia a great state of delight. Poor lit
tie soul; nc had seised an oppoitunity
to pour out a sorrow which made him
miserable when the motherly visiting
day came around, aud as he said, “ No>
body never corned to bring him nice
things."
Hotel Bills o? toe Past,—Sever
oral years ago I arrived at a county
hostelry situated in the neighboring
town ot Rumney. Staying a week or
two, L asked my bill when the time of
my stay was at an end.
“Well, what do you think it worth ?"
asked my landlord.
“Oh, i don’t know; you keep the Uo*
tel—what is the charge?"
“ Well—come let’s chalk."
o the hollows were taken from its
nail, as was then so frequently the cus
tom, each party chalked what he thought
it was worth. Looking at the figures
finally the landlord said:
W ell, about 20 cents for meals and
20 cents for lodging."
Wondering, I paid him. Next year,
happening in the same town, I stopped
at toe house of a fjiend, and mooting
my “ chalking ” landlord of tho year
previous, he said :
‘ I did a wrong thing by you last
year, I charged you too much. You
see 20 cents a meal ain’t much, but then
and times 20 is CO, for meals, and 7 times
S'- is $5.90 a week; and that’s an aw*
iui sum."— Cor. Boston Advertiser. -r
Letter Than Fish.—They recog
nized each other at one of the fish
stands, and one called out:
“Is that you. Mrs. Jonea ? And arc
you after a fish V’
“ And is that you, Mrs. Toddle ? and
no, I never buy fish."
“ You don’t ?”
‘ No. I have got the particularests
husband you ever saw. If he’s eating
fish and gets four or five scales in hia
mouth he makes as much fuss as some
men would over a cobble stone in a loaf
ol oread. So I buy liver, there’s no
scabs on it, and ail you have to do is to
give it a rinse, flop it into the spider,
and the butcher gets all the blame.”—
Detroit Free Press.
Mixed.—An eastern editor while ta
king his crooked whisky straight, got
things mixed somewhat thusiy :
A Yv cistern editor wrestled thrsly :
The laves have fallen from the trees,
and chilling blasts come roaring down
hom the Polar regions while the frost
laden zephyr—yes sir, we sent your pa
yer to you, bet ten dollars on it, sorrv,
sir, that we left your name out of that
committee. Mistakes will occur though
trust white fills zephyr full of blue
sand—we didn’t mean you . We meant
thnt other fellow got licked at the circus
—white heifer just, three buttons—lets
see. Oh, yes—while the little lad with
white frosted neck—bang it all, you
didn’t leave your overcoat here, and I
can lick you in three minutes.
Got to lIAA r E 'JEm.—\esterday noon
a Detroit citizen of mature years and
kindly heart caught a boy in the act of
stealing some peanuts off a street stand
and lie reproachfdlly said :
“ Boy, do know what becomes of
thieves ?”
“Sometimes the police catches 'em
and sometimes they gits aw„y !” rep->
ed the lad.
Y, < 11, don’t you know that a boy
uho steals peanuts will never go to
Heaven ?”
“I guess they won’t,” replied the boy
after a little reflection, “but when I gits
hungry after peanuts they has got to
come unless they are spiked down !”
Detroit Free Press.
Some fellcw who has been snubbed
defines • bociety as an exchange where
.ain people meet to dupe themselves and
tvch otner.” He failed io aid most of
them deaL in “ futures ” rud •• calls.”.
\ r 7 V y > • J