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The Barb 5 Chattanooga Chatter by Kathy Greetings girls andguys! Here we go agin with some of the local chatter Everything’s coming up roses around here-and roses, and roses and still more roses-all from an un known sender. I counted the last batch and it numbered 26. Talk about a rose gar den! Well, it’s easy to see that somebody loves our lovely bartender; and our bartender loves our D.J. cause she gave her one of her roses. You've seen the commer cial, I’m sure that says “You’ve come along way, baby’’. Well, it is certainly applies to one of our girls. You guessed it-our own A- drian Sanchez. Yep, we really think that she’s one of the best around. Lately, it’s been noted that if she gets any better we won’t be able to stand it. She ;really is great, and we all love her. So if you haven’t seen this fascinating en tertainer, you better come see her Cause you don’t know what you are mis sing’’. Speaking of entertainers, our Saturday guest spot is nothing but hot. The crowd screams and applauds when she is announced as the lean and lanky, the sexy Miss Candy Cane. The Powder Puff ’s Unfits are getting better all the time. The Unfits include the marvelous Misti Dawn, the fantastic Adrian San chez, the dynamic Lor raine North, and the un forgettable, Rah-Rah girl of the South-Cheerleader. The shows are getting big ger and more diversified, with more comedy and pro duction numbers. Well, I gotta for now, but before I forget if you need anything, just ask Polly-it seems she’s got everything hanging. Right, Polly? One more thing-the thought for the month comes from a certain chef •here in town. She says the 4-F’s are: Find them, Fool them, F---them, and forget them. Think about it! Advertise In The Barb ! Amazing Adventures Of Super Fag "The Succubus Horror" Vol. 1, Episode 3 (Final) “Now, Prodigious Pussy!” shouts the Pon derous Pansy. Quickly throwing back her cloak, the Walloping Warrior of Dykedomre veals herself in her famous costume consis ting of the long red knit ting tights, the patent leather, combat boots, and the, flat metal breastplate on which is inscribed: ‘ ‘^APPHO SAYS, UP YOUR’S BUS TER!” The Dauntless Darling of Bulldom im mediately '■ begins to twirl the sperm smear ed, garlic filled, gold plated lead lined doube-' bag about the head of the drooling apparition. “It’s working, Heroic Hummer,” shouts the Daring Dyke, continuing to twirl the efficacious douchebag. The drooling apparit ion stands transfixed beneath it--its beady eyes glazed, and its cheeky jowls atremble. “Great Balls of Fleshy Wonder Lez!” shouts Super Fag. ' ‘Keep it up. I’m about to begin the priapean rite of exorcism!” Plucking from the lemon chiffon sheath’s bodice a small, ancient book, the Quintessential Queen, begins reading, while swaying ryhthmi- cally in aprimative, es oteric manner. Chanting a mixture of ancient Greek and Latin, inter spersed with what sound like a muttering of the daily oil stock averages, the Herioc Hummer of the Forces ofFagdomat last cries out: “I exor cise you in the name of Priapus!” The drooling ap parition emits a weird cry and shudders, but no other visible change takes place. “Do it again!” cries the Dauntless Dyke. “You nearly had him that time!” Once again the Quin tessential Queen begins gyrating rhythmically and chanting the potent incantation. This time it seems that he is inter jecting not only an ap peal to all occult forces, but a little ditty from the vulvic rites, also. At last, holding on to his lemon chiffon skirt, and plucking the purple cloche from his head, the Fearless Faggot shouts: “AND LET ME MAKE ONE THING PERFECTLY CLEAR-- in the name of Priapus, I CAST YOU OUT!” There is a blinding flash of light, and a thun derous roar. The room is then filled with a strange calm. The poor person who had been possessed by the evil succubus remains stan ding dazed in the middle of the room. He is in a trance. “Great Onerous Ova ries ! ’ ’ exclaims the Walloping Warrior of Dykedom to the Heroic Hummer. “It worked! ■ ’ “Yes,” says the Pon derous Pansy, “we did; it! We’ve saved Down trodden Gays from a new rash of federal anti-gay legislation for the time being! Now all we have to do is to open the door downstairs and let him wander back in his trance to where he lives. He’ll be all right, and won’t know anything a- bout what has hap pened.” Hurrying the stunned person downstairs, the Elegant Emancipators of Downtrodden Gays let him out. They see him 1 wander casually away. Then rushing back to the top, they pick up their way back into the phallus pink and lav ender Gaymobile per ched on the very top of the monument. As they wing away from the capital, natu rally, their mellow sol emn mood is only short lived, More immediate concerns come to mind. Peering down at the sleeping capital, the Dauntless Darling of Dykedom remarks: “Well, now I can get back to my girl friend, Hairy Hotlips!” “Mercy!” exclaims the Heroic Hummer. “Here goes the Kama Sutra all over again, Dauntless Doe Woman!” “Very funny,, you lit tle ersatz Hellen of Lively And Light ... Peach Salad Delight This peach salad is a sure-fire spring tempter. Tempt your taste buds with a bit of spring. Peach Salad Delight is lively and light, just the right kind of salad to give you spring fever. The delightful gelatin layer bubbles with the addition of ginger ale, coconut, nuts and peaches. A luscious layer of cream cheese plus Velvetized evaporated milk to keep it velvety goes on top. For more good recipe ideas order your copy of the EASY DOES IT Cookbook for just $1.00. Send check, money order or coin together with your name, address and zip code to: EASY DOES IT Cookbook, Carnation Company, Box 50-R, Pico Rivera, California 90660. Peach Salad Delight (Makes 6 to 8 servings) 1 package (3 ounces) orange flavored gelatin V& 1 cup boiling water 1 1 cup ginger ale 1 cup small flaked coconut x /i cup chopped nuts Vi 1 cup diced fresh or canned % peaches 2 packages (3 ounces each) V£ softened cream cheese cup sugar teaspoon vanilla tablespoon (1 envelope) unflavored gelatine cup cold water cup undiluted Velvetized evaporated milk cup water Dissolve orange gelatin in boiling water. Stir in ginger ale. Cool to consistency of unbeaten egg whites. Stir in coconut, nuts and peaches. Pour into 8 x 8 x 2-inch baking dish. Chill until firm. Beat cream cheese and sugar until light and smooth. Blend in vanilla. Soften gelatine in Vi cup cold water. Heat evaporated milk, the V£ cup water and gelatine in saucepan over low heat for 5 minutes or until gelatine dissolves (do not boil). Beat evaporated milk mixture into cream cheese mixture. Pour over peach layer. Chill until firm (2-3 hours). Cut into squares. Serve with cream cheese layer on bottom. Troy! ’ ’ retorts the Bull - ish Boxlover. “You know, Felicific Fellat- ist, you’ve always re minded me of her in a way.” “Really!” exclaims the Quintessential Queen delightedly . “Why Helen of Troy had the face that launched a thousand ships!” “Yeah,” says the Mind Boggling Bull, “And you’ve got the lips that launched a thousand sailors!” The End You Bet Your Sweet Ass We Open On Sunday (Till 3 AM) Powder Puff Lounge 28 East Main St. Chattanooga, Tenn. Cherice Nicole Heads An All Star Cast With Lorraine North Adrian Sanchez Misti Dawn Disc Jockey Thursday Friday Saturday & Sunday 3 Sh ows Nightly Friday Saturday & Sunday Phone (615) 265-9190