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2 - THE BARB, February 1976
' The B&rb is published monthly by
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EDITOR
W.E. (Bill) Smith, Jr.
ASSOCIATE EDITOR
Richard Evans 1st
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Editor’s Notebook
(ED’S NOTE: Each month I’ve
reserved a little space to give you my
personal views on a wide range of
subjects. Ibis month the Associate
Ettitor has been asked to give yon his
thoughts after one year with The Barb. 1
Ms name does not often appear in The
-Barb yet his dedication and infinite
patience has been a key ingredient in
the tremendous growth and im
provement during 1975.)
by Richard Evans Lee
This is my twelfth issue
with The Barb. The association
began with me typing address
tables. Within sixty days, due to
a series of events extrinsic to
this narrative, I found myself
living - quite literally- with the
paper and totally absorbed in its
operations.
The Barb has developed
encouragingly during the past'
twelve months. But as that will
be Bill’s topic next month and
this sketch is to be largely
personal (though, somewhat
polemic) it would be beside the
point to recount that here.
My affiliation with the paper
has been interesting in an odd
sort of way.. A person of tran
scendent apathy, 1 have found
myself thrust, willy-nilly, into
the center of ‘community ac
tivity,’ often feeling like an in
nocent bystander. Yet on many
occasions, I’ve become, in a
minor sort of way, a participant,
and:found it invigorating. More
so than the average sexual
encounter at least.
Like many fine young
persons of my generation (I’m
twenty-one) I despised com
mercial endeavor. Wishing to be
involved in business I thought
a goal worthy of only the
retardea
Yet when adolesence, that
stage when you’re little more
than a batch -of large, hazy
passions, began to fade, I dung
to the predjudice. Two years
working for consumer research
agencies changed that I lear
ned, gradually, that marketing a
product requires actual talent
and resourcesfulness, and that,
it can really be quite satisfying to
make a business run smoothly.
While working with The
Barb is sometimes toilsome and
II
My Husband and I
frustrating, I am on the whole
*happy with the arrangement.
People are so often trapped,
earning their living by a means
that crushes their personality.
Which is, if you will excuse the
cliche, a. great contemporary
dillema.
The error of most - and this
is the moral „theme towards
which I have been heading • is to
refuse to do the insipid,
glamorless drudge work
necessary for the attainment of
their heart’s desire. (The other
grave error is to lust after the
impossible.)
Many of the tasks necessary
for the continuance, of The Barb
aren’t ones that Bill and I enjoy.
Yet we have to either, blandly
accept their necessity and do
them or stop publishing.
1 have * been lucky and
dearheaded enough to find a
niche in the world that allows me
to be in a roundabout way
creative and to help people.
(Social involvement is the great
subtitute for personal in
volvement.) Which is why I hope
to remain for many years die
Associate Editor of The Barb.
II
Happy Holidays?
By Louie Crew
A colleague in English glared
at me harshly from the back of the
seminar room where I had been
speaking of the aggressive
stereotypes by which English
teachers oppress us Gays: “But
you people want more than we
even give ourselves,” die said,
her finger pointed right at me,
and her brow lowered.
“ Lik e wh at? 1 countered.
“Like the privilege of talking
about your lovers in public
without embarrassment! Why we
don’t even let heterosexuals do
that!”
"Fair enough,” I said, “how
about ‘my husband’?”
Admittedly the phrase has
been an electric one in a variety of
contexts, but it does continue, as
it did on that occasion, to un
derscore that my husband and I
do not have a view of our
relationship that is paralleled by
that of couples trying each other
out by voluntary shacking. We’re
not saying that marriage is
necessarily superior to shacking,
just that it’s different, and that it
is the alternative we have opted
for ourselves.
No sooner had I used the
phrase in a Gay academic context
than a Gay sister wrote fiercely
complaining, saying that I op
pressed her merely by using the
phrase, suggesting that, ac
cording to her view of my in
tentions, she and her lover should
be also wife and wife, an in
stitution against which both of
them are in concerted rebellion.
When I used the phrase “my
husband and I” in merely a
factual context, namely a press
release announcing the first
national convention of IN-
TERGRITY (for Gay
Episcopalians and our triends),
the host bishop, who was on
record for allowing us to use his
cathedral for the meeting raised
fierce protest to the convention
planners, saying in all of the
Chicago papers that he felt that
the announcement was a
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malicious attempt to make it seem
that the Church condoned Gay
marriages. Surely no one would
think that the Church is ready to
be th at responsible!
What the good man (and he
did give access to the cathedral)
forgot is that words belong to
people, not people to words.
Husband, Wife, Spouse, and the
like are not the exclusive property
of heterosexuals, but belong to
anyone who appropriates them.
Obviously one would make a
mistake to prescribe for other Gay
people what alternatives any cm e
should take. Our battle all along-
has been to establish our own
right to make our individual
choice at the same time we are
working to protect sisters and
brothers in efforts to take other
alternatives.
What our particular choice
clearly brings to issue is the moral
ambiyalence of nonGays con
fronted with Gay reality. A couple
proudly and publicly affirming
their mutual commitment to each
other does not fit the stereotype
of Gays as predators laciviously
coupling mainly with strangers.
The posture bids for respect, not
for pity. When they further
discover that the marriage is not
really molded on hetero models of
use and ownership but on a
private model of joint sharing,
clearly it’s time, in the words of
on6 bishop who attacked us in the
papers, to “rise up and stamp it
- out.”
We did write our bishop, The
Rt. Rev. Bennett Sims in Atlanta,
urging him to solemnize the
marriage. We are always careful
to note that the Church does not
ever marry anyone, but only
solemnizes the marriage, i.e.,
celebrates the marriage with
pomp and pagentry. The couple
must always marry themselves;
even the State takes this view.
Whereas we had already married,
the pomp and ceremony seemed*
more important to the health of
. the community than to our own.
We were not suprised when
Bishop Sims reported that his
view of cannon law found no place
that gave him the right to
solemnize marriages between
persons of the same sex.
Of course not. Solemnizing
Gay Commitment would take Gay
Gibson W. Higgins
Another Christmas is now
history. As the city winds to its
fever pitch of commercial
persuasion* we are swept along
the same as oth ers. Since most of
us have no young ones to favor,
we are able to give more td
ourselves and each other. We
decorate elaborately, dress
fashionably, entertain lavishly,
and put*on the dog in general.
The Christmas season is a
religious holiday- superimposed
on a generally pagan -celebration
thought to have evolved as an
ancient antidote to the winter
solstice; short, dreary, cold days
leading into the heart of winter.
As the second millenium draws
to a close, interestingly, many of
the pagan aspects of the
celebration enjoy increased
emphasis. Fdr most of us,
however, it is a time in which
family ties are ' prominent,
however tenuous they may have
become. With a moment nowfor
reflection, the awareness of
separatism lingers much as the
buzz from .too many v^hiffs of the
tube. Normal families emphasize
heterosexuality, including
children. A holiday family
reunionv is a guaranteed
remin der that major an dent
social reinforcements are closed
to us. The homosexual wljose
family is unaware of his or her
orientation directly encounters
an internal conflict between
one’s nature and the family’s
perception of that nature. It is a
aonfiict that cannot be masked,,
regardless of shopping at
Phipps, dining at pissy
restaurants, or dancing at the
newest disco. There is absolutely
no fault in these thmgs, but we
must aware of our environment.
. Much in gay life’ screams
liberation: we who are alive,
healthy, homosexual, and even
moderately out in 1976 should
adopt Thanksgiving as our of
ficial holiday, and should daily
shout hosannas for the goodness
in our lives. While our siblings
(straight brothers and sisters)
-are changing diapers and
making mortgage payments, the
world is ours if we choose. Those
people seriously, would
recognize us, and recognition is
precisely what the Church wants
to deny. Only by not recognizing.
Gay people and Gay relationships
can Churchpersons feel justified
in behaving towards Gay people
in less than charitable ways.
Non-recognition has always
seemed to me one of the most
foolish and childish games that
grownups play. The U.S. refused
to recognize China for decades,
yet China went right on being
China, becoming more powerfully
so' a- if in reaction to the pressure
of ostracization.
My husband and I enjoy the
casualness 'pf^wur marriage, the
more mundane domesticity that
counters the drama of the
disbelieving public. He and I can
sit quietly darning socks or
working the crosswords, or
listening to the TV while our
neighbors ride by nightly
imagining with no small amount
of jealousy impossible orgies
taking place behind the curtams. I
sometimes have nightmares
about washing dishes only to have
the sheriff arrive with a warrant*
to take us away for our “crimes
not mentionalbe among Christian
gentlemen.’ If the sheriff ever
comes this way, I know my
husband will keep the eggs and
jtoast warm until I get back.
who call tiiis a cop-out from
responsibly are missing the .
point
Straights and gays in
today’s world are driven by
different sets of forces. One
group lives on social rein
forcements provided for child
bearers, the other substitutes a
more universal fellowship for
Mood ties to a small group of
people. Each group lives with
unique biases and misin
formation about the other,
'except that the gay is forced to
adapt to the larger community in
order to survive within it Also,
curiously, each group needs the
other. “You’re kidding! Aren’t
vou? Why do I need those
aggots?” Simply to help you
understand the workmgs of your
society, and what its hostility can
do to the lives, of those who
deviate within it And we need
you economically, not to mention
precreatively, for the one thing
we are unable to do is make more
of ourselves, in spite of your
fears that to khow us is to
become one of us. Legitimate sex
researchers say that this is
simply untrue.
Listen to C.L Tripp, author
of “The HomosexualuMatrix,”
who says that sex researchers
have discovered that the one
tiling which correlates with the
incidence of homosexuality is the
birth rate. That simple statement
is dynamite for ail people,
because it says-that there ain’t
notiiing that can be done about
those queers. The harder people
reproduce (presumably many of
them ‘proving’ their normalcy)
the more of us there will be. By
the same token, if any influences
cause fewer babies to be bom,
there will be fewer of us, which
is incredible in light of the
declining birth rate. More and
more gays seem to be appearing
daily. Have you seen all those
hunks around town??? The
momentary ‘permissiveness’ of
our society is creating publicity
which encourages many of us to
emerge from our closets. How
many of you would have come
out in 1955?
- Our fragile “world” that is
a substitute for the lives others
enjoy can vanish quickly, and
then where do we go for sup
port? There is no reason that
gays should not enjoy all legal
and social rights, including the
right to rear children. As a group
we engage in a min life with
society, trying to put our steps to
its music.
So my brother looks at me
now ; and totally fails to un*
derstand why I am me, for his
world is so different. It is
astonishing to realize that such
different people can come from
identifical beginnings. I see in
him the stereotypical straight
who doesn’t even, want to know
those different from him.
How will we celebrate
'future Christmases? Christians
will have services, but there will
also be services attended by
celebrants in white towels, and
two thousand will gather in one
place to do exactly as they
please, enjoying the company of
one another. Pagan? When we
homosexual get our acts together
enough to fully be ourselves,
that will be the fulfilled promise
of the ages. Financial pqpfligacy
will yield to the realization of our
humanity. Pleasure? Physical
needs, as others, are met,' one
way or another. As gays, we
have light years head start on the
others. That is good and
positive, and why^ not build on
ourbest?
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