Newspaper Page Text
Flagpole Magazine
Page 4
February 21, 1990
Letters to the Editor...
Letter #7
An Open Letter to
Pamela M. Reddick
Dear Ms. Reddick:
I anr> writing this letter in regard to your "Open Letter to Channel 34”
which appeared in the January 31 issue of the Flagpole. In this
piece, you criticize Channel 34 for certain programs which you feel
are somewhat less than top quality, while you also suggest several
ways for the station to improve its programming. Your complaints
may be valid, and I applaud you for your concern. However, I can
only hope that Channel 34 adopts a higher standard of quality for its
programming than you have for your writing. It has been quite a
while since I have seen such a butchery of basic principles of
composition and grammar. If one can make sense of your disjointed
rambling, the numerous and extraordinary run-on sentences make
a mockery of your intent.
Here are four ways to greatly improve your writing, complements of
Strunk and White:
Edit 2. Re-edit 3. Proof read 4. Proof read again
Staying tuned, I remain...
Critically yours,
Jamie “Whiebread” Donlon
Letter #2
Quit Knocking Athens
I'm tired of people complaining about Athens. Yea, the drinking
laws suck. But hey — did you vote in the mayoral election? I did,
so I can complain about the open container ordinance. But, if you
sat in your daddy-paid-for condo and watched MTV’s Woodstock
film — shut up. Now, I’m sure all of you readers voted, so onward
ho! Next, don’t criticize my spelling or verb form, etc., etc. I didn’t
major in English or Grammar, or whatever it’s called. I’m just writing
the way I talk. Yeah, yeah, I do speak in run on sentences! But, back
to the point, some soon to be townie, or should I say townie
wannabe, was bitchin about Athens last week at a local establish
ment. Please, give it a break. Where else can you go? No one will
like you anywhere! But, I feel compelled to let you know that this is
one cool town. I have lived in many different states, plus lived in
Europe. I’m not telling where because then everyone who knows me
will know I wrote this (was that a run on sentence?) And no, I’m not
talking about Cortona. I’m talking about living in another country
which means I held an 8 to 5 job. Yea, Europe's cool and I want to
go back, but Athens is up there with Amsterdam. New York and Los
Angeles pale in comparison to Athens. Yea there’s more people.
But there's also more cars, more muggings, more rapes, more
murders, more outrageous rent prices, and more assholes like
Junior Miss townie. Where else can you go get something good to
eat, see a good band, and get drunk with only a 20 in your pocket?
In N. York you could go to the Cat Club and have a beer or two for
that — if that! But then again, they probably wouldn't let you in
anyway. So, shut up and let me enjoy my drink. Plus, did you know
that after awhile you become immune to your own perfume. But just
because you can’t smell it, doesn’t mean we can’t. Please, a 1 oz.
bottle of Giorgio (or Obsession) should last longer than a month. So,
chill out on your criticism, cool it with the perfume, relax on a sunny
day in downtown Athens, and open your eyes (and your mind.) You
will probably like what you see.
Sign me,
No cool name comes to mind (NCNCM)
P s>. Did I win the coloring contest? Can I have a free T-shirt anyway?
EDITER3 NOTEt No you didn't and no you can’t.
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