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Dennis Farina as Lopez’s suave, smar
tass daddy with cameos by Michael
Keaton and Samuel L. Jackson. Gc see
it! (ML) (Beechwood)
People of the Forest (NR) Another
documentary based on Jane Goodall
and her monkey triends. This one fol
lows a tribe of chimps through 20 years
in the Amazon Rain Forest. Donald
Sutherland narrates. (ML) (Library)
Riding the Rails (NR) A critically-
acclaimed documentary on the lives of
teenage freight train riders during the
Great Depression. Interweaving archival
footage, photos, and interviews, this film
tells stories of survival, misery, and
loneliness. (ML) (GMOA)
Saving Private Ryan (R) Steven
Spielberg’s latest WWII movie set
amongst the gore and chaos of the inva
sion of Normandy. When a young
grunt's (Matt Damon of Good Will
Hunting) three older brothers are all
killed in the war, the U.S. Army sends a
platoon to the front line to rescue the kid
lest his grieving mother lose her baby as
well. Rumor has it that Tom Hanks
(Forrest Gump, Philadelphia) once again
contends for an Oscar in this starring
role as the platoon^ war-weary Captain.
(ML) (Beechwood, starts Fri.)
Small Soldiers (PG-13) It's too bad
comedian Phil Hartman had to go out on
such a tacky clunker. In this violent toy
war flick, a batch of gung-ho military
action figures with chiseled chins comes
to life, activated b> a military computer
chip, For some reason, they declare war
on the peaceful Gorgonifes and proceed
to wreck Hartman's house. Who wrote
this crap? If they can spend millions on
talented animatronics and computer
experts to create the “small soldiers,"
you'd think they could afford some
decent writers. Awful. With Kevin Dunn,
Kirsten Durnst and the voice of Tommy
Lee Jones. (BL) (Mall Inside)
There's Something About Mary
(See Movie Pick)
Titanic (PG-13) This tremendously
overrated flick is almost worth a buck
and three quarters for the scene of a
frozen Leonardo DiPopsicle sinking to
the bottom of the icy North Atlantic. Just
make sure to run screaming from the
theater before they torture you with that
awful Celine Dion song as the credits
roll. (ML) (Alps)
The Truman Show (PG) Director Peter
Weir's conceptually ambitious drama
about a man named Truman (Jim
Carrey) who grows up on an elaborate
Hollywood TV set. unaware that every
one in his life are actors. The idea is fas
cinating and disturbing, but it plays out
without proper balance from Carrey: he
should either have played the part totally
straight, or pumped up the comedy with
his big grins and physical gag schtick.
Either way, it's a strong film with a dark
theme about contemporary American
culture (we worship the tube, admit it).
With Laura Linney, Noah Emmerich, Ed
Harris and Natascha McElhone. (BL)
(Mall Outside, Commerce Drive-In)
When Harry Met Sally (R) The clas
sic romantic comedy especially endear
ing to anyone who’s ever fallen in love
with their best friend. Who could ever
forget the scene of a leather-headed Meg
Ryan faking an orgasm in a roadside
diner? This film was perhaps Billy
Crystal's best performance ever and
Harry Connick. Jr.’s crooning soundtrack
ties it all together. (ML)(Tate Center)
The X Files (PG-13) Gillian Anderson
and David Duchovny take their roles as
FBI agents to the big screen in this long-
awaited film ve r sion of the TV show.
Novices and fans will enjoy this eerie
conspiracy drama about extraterrestrial
viruses, global bogeymen, mysterious
cornfields and far-fetched situations in
the Arctic. Martin Landau sure looked
creepy. Too bad Duchovny is so card-
board-like. (BL) (Beechwood)
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special guest
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MOVIE PICK
/w
HELLO MARY LEWD
There's Something About Mary (R)
Bathroom-humor artistes Peter and Bobby
Farrdly (directors of Dumb and Dumber and
Kingpin) graduate with honors from fart
jokes to masturbation sight gags in this
side-splitting romantic comedy appropriate
ly oozing with cheese. Ben Stiller (Reality
Bites, Happy Gilmore, Flirting With Disaster)
plays Ted Stroehmann, a brace-faced high
school superdork; Cameron Diaz (My Best
Friend's Wedding) is Mary, the beautiful and
charming girl-of-everyboy’s-dreams who,
ur.fathomably, asks said dork to the prom.
When Ted arrives in his fly taupe and
brown tuxedo to pick her up, he gets in an
accidental fracas with Mary’s oversized,
rowdy, lovable, mentally-challenged broth
er, Warren (splendidly portrayed by W. Earl
Brown of Scream). Ted retreats to the loo to
recover, only to gets both his frank and his
beans impossibly stuck in his fly. Before the
ambulance is called the entiie neighbor
hood has entered the scene to yelp “Oh my
God!" at the horrifying image that the direc
tors just couldn’t leave up to the audience’s
imagination — we get a big-screen shot of
Stiller’s tortured member tangled in the
metal teeth of a zipper. Ouch!
Ted spends the next two weeks in the
hospital; Mary’s family moves to Florida
before he can see her again, and the entire
prom night humiliation leaves permanent
scars on his fragile ego. Thirteen years later,
Ted is in therapy and still can’t forget what
might have been with Mary. At the advice of
his buddy Dom (Chris Elliot of Kingpin and
Groundhog Day), he hires Pat Healy, a seedy
underground detective (Matt Dillon) to find
his long lost love only to have Heaiy return
with a pack of lies relating Mary’s pitiable
demise into obesity and out-of-wedlock
motherhood. Ted decides to look Mary up
anyway. Romance blossoms, and Modern
Lover Jonathan Richman appears intermit
tently out of nowhere to narrate the love
story with his own silly, sappy folk songs
and puppy-eyed
charm.
This film is defi
nitely and quite
deliberately a sticky-
sweet romance.
Cameron Diaz plays
Mary as a goody-
goody girl-next-door:
she’s annoying as
hell and too good to
be true: an adorable,
sexy, smart, funny,
kind-hearted career
girl w r ho spends her
time off at the bat
ting cage, the dri
ving range, or volun
teering at a home for
“exceptional people.” She befriends the
friendless: the sun-wrinkled widow next
door (Lin Shaye), Puffy the speed-freak
puppy, the drunken old fisherman a> the
pier (Jeffrey Tambor), and a nerdy, crip
pled, British architect (Lee Evans). She’s
the kind of girl who can toss back a few
beers with the best of ’em and share a joint
with her date while still retaining her virtue
and never appearing the prude.
From the scene of a flaming dog to
countless laughs at the expense of the men
tally and the physically challenged that are
far from politically correct to the ridiculous,
Oscar-caliber appearance by Green Bay
Packer super-jock Brett Favre, this movie is
as unabashedly nasty as it is undeniably
funny.
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