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SELF-INDULGENT HAIR SHIRT: I would like to publicly apologize to
Trinket, their fans, the staff at The 40 Watt, my mom, my
friends, and God up in heaven for my actions on the night of
Wednesday, Feb. 24. Early consumption of Jack Daniels and Coke,
combined with a thoroughly appalling time at the Athens Music
Factory grand opening celebration — further compounded for my
complete and utter distaste for Trinket's music and my general
self-defeating, obnoxious attitude — led me eventually towards a
rather trite and tiresome tirade directed at the band in general and
bassist Tommy Salmon in particular. I was in rare form that night
— running about the room; lifted above the floor by sweet,
whisky-scented seraphim; ducking backstage to toss insults at the
band; and generally making a total ass of myself. After the show, I
was confronted by Salmon and guitarist Chris Arrison, neither of
whom were at all pleased with my actions. After Salmon rudely
grabbed me and planted a kiss on my cheek, I was backstage
again, surround by Trinket, their manager, their girlfriends and
their fans, spewing a litany of nonsense that seemed to be cen
tered around the words "fuck,” "shit." "eyeliner," and "lipstick."
That didn't go over too well. The Flagpole editor had already left
the club, mostly because, he said later, I was acting like a "knuck
lehead." Eventually, someone had the good sense to toss me out I
wouldn't feel so bad if only I had been drunk and witty. Drunk and
obnoxious is sooo Athens '82. Please accept my apologies and find
comfort in the fact that I will never print another word about
Trinket again.
AND WHAT SHOULD I HAVE BEEN DOING THAT NIGHT? While I was
out making a complete drunken ass of myself at the sparsely
attended Trinket gig, some of you were safe at home watching the
Grammys. Let's see... Lauryn Hill won five awards, including the
Album of the Year and New Artist awards, Metallica stole the Best
Metal Performance honors from Nashville Pussy, and Shawn
Mullins didn't receive a goddamn thing. Boo freakin' hoo. Most of
our homies got dissed, brothers. When you see Celine Dion,
spank that hootchie for me.
AND WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU GAVE A DAMN ABOUT THE VOICE
ANYWAY? In other music awards news, the Village Voice just
announced the winners in their annual Pazz and Jop Poll. Here's
how some locals fared: OutKast got No. 6, R.E.M. hit 12, Neutral
Milk Hotel reached 15, Cat Power at 23. Vic Chesnutt at 27,
Goodie Mob at 63, Rock*A*Teens at 218, Nashville Pussy at
394, Macha at 521, Olivia Tremor Control at 841, and The
a
*
The Heckler
local music news written by a non-journalist
* by JOHN BRITT
-
Glands at 1121. And out of 1243 albums listed, Shawn Mullins
failed to pick up a single vote. So bite me.
HECKLER IS — SURPRISE - AN INSOMNIAC: If you happened to
be watching seedy, late night television programs last Tuesday,
Feb. 23, you might have noticed some familiar faces across the
dial. On Fox affiliate channel 5, you could have seen a repeat of
PHOTO BY MARY JESSICA HAMMCS
the Oct. 19 episode of The Jerry Springer Show," featuring
"Threesome Disasters." Lo and behold, doesn't that lovely pom
padour belong to Jeff Palmiotti, former lead singer of the now-
defunct Athens band Del Rays? Seems he was knockin' boots with
his roommate's girlfriend, and no one was too happy about this.
And who was his roommate? None other than local would-be-
writer Allen Corey. Who? More on him in a bit... Later that night,
over on HBO, one could find the Impotent Sea Snakes on that
cable channel's "Real Sex" series. After pieces on life-like sex
dolls and ugly old people practicing Tantric sex, the episode fea
tured a report on the wedding of Sea Snakes members — no pun
intended — 13 and Princess Christy. The gala event, which
looked like the NC-17 version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show,
took place at the Exotic Erotic Ball in San Francisco and show
cased everything from wedding cakes depicting oral sex, to a
man dressed like a incredibly well-endowed Santa, to lots and
lots of disturbing, yet exciting, multi-partner sexual activity.
Luckily, the whole city was invited, and the Sea Snakes played a
few songs for the crowd, who quickly realized that the threesome
in the corner wasn't the only thing sucking that night.
MORE TELEVISION NEWS! At midnight on Saturday, March 6.
Atlanta public station WGTV will broadcast Vic Chesnutt and
Lambchop’s performance on the PBS program, "Sessions at West
54th Street." Our New York correspondent, Rave Teresa, witnessed
the taping and reported back: "They waited. And they waited
some more. And finally it was worth it as Vic came wheeling onto
the stage. 'New Town' — third try is always a charm — was lyrical
as always, with just a piano backing him up. Enter Lambchop. Oh,
these Choppers were quite bright With new songs off Bernadette.
they clanked and shook, tooted and strummed with much enthu
siasm. Vic had his Chap Stick professionally applied during a
break. Tina — how beautifully morose she was standing in the
rear playing guitar and smiling shyly. One can't help but think she
is the mastermind behind it all 'Old Hotel' was recorded twice,
happily, with smiles; alas, this spectator has a favorite song."
AND WHO IS THE AFOREMENTIONED ALLEN COREY? Young Allen is
a writer in training who will be working as an intern for the MTV
web page this summer. Corey will be writing record reviews on
Athens and Atlanta acts for the site and needs your material E-
mail Corey at acclown@uga.edu or call him at 559-9540 if you'd
like the groundbreaking press that is www.mtv.com.
PATT-MAN FEVER: Local bluesman Neal Pattman is on tour with
the Winston Blues Revival, alongside Taj Mahal, Cootie Stark,
Beverly "Guitar" Watkins and Mudcat. All door proceeds benefit
Music Maker Relief Foundation, which helps forgotten blues
artists. Oh, and the publicity helps sucker impressionable kids
into smoking lots of cigarettes. For more info, check out
www.musicmaker.org.
You can find me drinking alone at home until this bitter storm
passes over. E-mail yer news to icecoldpbr@hotmail.com or
theheckler@busta-rhymes.com. Or call 549-9523.
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