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BUSINESS by EMERSON DAMERON What happens when you give a child a gift is that, at least for a little while, the new gift over shadows all previous gifts to the point where they in effect cease to exist. This can be problematic if, for instance, after he's been accepting gifts of perishable fruit and dairy products all day, you give Little Reynard a birthday shotgun. While he's out destroying ant colonies and blowing holes in abandoned buildings. Little Reynard's papayas and limes will grow soft and moldy and his milk will slowly spoil and harden. So, when attending a child's birthday, remember this simple rule: the sooner Little Reynard gets distracted from weapons and starts getting his daily allowance of Vitamin C, the better off we all are. Scope this, musicians: If your demo sounds like ass, it's time to re-record, 'cause Ghostmeat Records is revving up to accept submissions for the fourth annual AthFest compilation disc. To be considered for a coveted slot on the disc, hand- deliver CDs and CD-Rs only (thank you very much) to Musician's Warehouse at 447 E. Clayton Street in the heart of downtown Athens, intellectual center of the Western world and home of the first Olympic Games. There's a release form at the store you must sign, and only Athens-based acts are eli gible. (Not to sound like a jingoist, but we've been through this before: If your band is from Atlanta, Decatur, anywhere but Athens, you may be a regional band, but you're not, by definition, a local band. It's right there in Webster's if you don't believe me.) Exclusive, previously unreleased ditties will earn ynu brownie points with Ghostmeat. E-mail ghostmeat@aol.com if you've still got questions. On a sour note, The Colt 45s, the most successful (11 wins, 4 losses) and collectively musically- inclined (starring members of The Glands, Eli and National Anthem, among many others) team in the Athens Area Men's Baseball League saw their season come to an end at the hands of their arch-nemeses The Desperadoes on Sunday, August 6. Oh well... at least now we don't have to loot stores on College Ave. and flip over police cars. It's too hot for that shit. As promised, Cartoon Network and Rhino Records have just released < Heroes And Villains: Music Inspired By The Powerpuff Girls, a loving tribute to the adorable, huge-eyed, animated heroines, with new songs from Athens-connected artists The Apple; In Stereo, Dressy Bessy and The Bill Doss. The Apples tune "Signal In The Sky (Let's Go)," is also separately available on a pink-vinyl single (or "seven inch," as the kids are saying these days) along with Bis' theme song from the TV series. The third annual Atlantis Music Conference 2000 begins proper in Hotlanta on Wednesday, August 9 and carries on through Saturday, August 12. The annual event features a golf tourna ment, three days of informational panel discus sions, and a collaborative presentation of the 6th Annual Atlanta Local Music Awards at the Tabernacle on Wednesday, August 9 at 8 p.m. More than 200 performances by local, regional and national live music acts will play a variety of venues around Atlanta during the festival. A Flagpole-sponsored music showcase takes place at The Star Community Bar in Little Five Points on Friday, August 11 from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. featuring Athens bands Vigilantes Of Love, Five-Eight and Wide Receivers, with Atlanta bands Young Antiques and Kickstand. Check out altan- tismusic.com for the whole scoop. From the drumstick-related eye injury file: During a show in downtown L.A. a few Saturdays ago, Jurifer dnimmer Ed Livengood lost control of a stick, which ricocheted off a cymbal and into a bystander's lower eye socket. Livengood took a second or two to make sure th*» patron hadn't incurred any serious deep hurting, then returned to his "barbaric percussive trance." The drumstick recipient was later seen hovering over the merch table and commenting, "That guy's a fucking animal." Thanks to eyewitness reporter Daniel Ewen for this tidbit of rock and roll masochism. Athens-based Kindercore Records is recruiting new meat nationwide for a battalion of field repre sentatives. KinderCorps, they're calling it. KinderCorps privates will be assigned tasks like radio and retail promotion, setting up for bands, posting K-Core propaganda, and "basically being our go-to guy/gal for (your] area... recruits must be reliable, reachable and, most importantly, enthusiastic about music. Bonus points for cre ativity, 1-UP mushrooms for friendliness." Damn, I'll throw in some fire flower power to the extra kind press promoters. (Hint: Free CDs are a won derful standby, but what I really need are t-shirts. Detergent prices have gone through the roof lately.) If this sounds like a deal, contact Amy Dykes at amy@kindercore.com with your name, contact information, last five records you plunked down for, and an essay on why you deserve a shot at KinderCorps membership. Athens cinematographer, musician and restaura teur Ted Hafer >• has wrapped up six years of production on his latest film Fatal Outlet, the story of an electrician, his daughter and his future son-in-law. The touching "Southern tragicomedy" was written, produced, directed, scored and com mitted to HI-8 digital video by Hafer himself. Its local premiere is slated for September. If you feel like scraping the inch-thick layer of late summer college town ennui off your brain, maybe a day trip to Atlanta is in order. In that case, the Echo Lounge is hosting plenty of talent in the next few weeks, including the lovely and smokin' Catfight! on Friday, August 18, The Queers on Monday, August 21 and The Cigar Store Indians (as part of a S.A.N.D. benefit) on Saturday, August 26. Then again, maybe you're thinking of really blowing our little berg. Maybe you're packing up foi New York City, an inexplicably popular desti nation for all sorts of Athens expatriates these days. In that case, I highly recommend you read Josh Saitz's polemic "How To Visit NYC Without Pissing Me Off," featured in his self-written, self- published and scathingly funny public journal/zine Negative Capability. Amid plenty of useful advice for newcomers on where to stay, where to eat, etc., you'll find basic truths such as: "As soon as you've decided that you're coming to New York Citv to visit, every single person that is already here has decided that they hate your fucking guts and would like you dead. It's nothing personal, but the thing is, everything is going smoothly without you." Write Josh Saitz, Box 225338, San Francisco, CA 94122-5338 to request a copy. That's right, San Fran. By the time his zine hit the printer, Saitz, a lifelong New Yorker, had decided that even he would be better off outside the Rotten Apple. In his words, "While I've come to realize that I thrive under pressure and adverse conditions, I might possibly do even better if life were working for me rather than against me." See you in about six months, Leif Erikson. Local musician and sex-symbol-on-his-own-terms Bill Scoggins recently signed a contract with the 1 Def-Ear Entertainment, Inc., which reportedly funnels 50% of its profits back to its artists. According to his handlers, Scoggins had no intelli gible comments concerning his breakthrough at press time Send local music news, coffee stained commu niques and Wild Turkey stained napkin drawings to omnivore@starplace.com, voice mail: 549-2630, fax: 549-8981, or by pony express to P. 0. Box 1027, Athens, GA 30603 Attn.: Emerson™. So, 2+2=(2+2), you say. Bull-Shit. 2+2=4. Always has, always will. Fire those intellectual pistons, for Douglas A. Martin's sake. O city salon o spa 196 alps rd. (beechwood promenade) open 7 days a week • 552-1515 hair • nails • skin care • spa services • massage make-up • reflexology • waxing • aromatherapy Summer Clearance Sale 20-50% OFF s4CC (Summer AUGUST 9, 2000