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Wring Guide to tt^e Latest Leftkt Styles
you're around a lot of women. And you, activist
ladies, should appreciate such honesty. We've
finally reached a point where people are
totally comfortable being real about sex.
This is the post-sexual revolution—men
are supposed to act like dicks.
Just as there are hot new trends in
sexual representation, there are fresh
new frontiers in racial attitudes as well.
While it's been gaining popularity over
the past few years, the trend of white
people listening to gangsta rap is
growing stronger than even before. You
can always find music about violence
and pussy from musicians of all races.
It's the most universal art form. But
white leftists have tired of hearing
talking about race.
But remember this is a touchy issue. Some
people will try to tell you that your identifying
with these albums as "real" objectifies and
patronizes people of color. They might even go
so far as to say that you are characterizing
people of color broadly as violent and misogy-
nistic. Let these people know they're p olitically
correct Nazis—and don't forget to throw in a few
revolutionary cuss words.
Speaking of cussing, no revolution is com
plete without it. If you are someone known to
be friendly and haven't fully affected your sneer
yet, it will be a little more difficult to pull this
look off. Just like putting on hard-to-apply
make-up, practice your politically aggravated
look in the minor. You must cuss until you look
You must cuss until you look natural doing so.
I f _ observed lately that my leftist polit-
V vi ical views are not keeping up with
the times. After the radical chic routinely dis
miss me in the assumption—"She's a
nice person, that must mean she's
repressed"—they then try to edu
cate me how to be as "cutting edge"
as they are. Not wanting to be left
out of the revolution, I've taken
some notes from my superiors in
political savvy. I will now present to
you, the aspiring student radical, the
comprehensive guide to the latest
leftist styles.
To begin with, you must change
your writing and speaking style to
make it reflect how "life really is."
Gender non-specificity and the whole
"he/she or she/he" thing is out—
sexist language is making a comeback
this year. True radicals know it's so
much more subversive to throw around
words like "bitch," "whore," and the
time honored "slut," in a nonchalant
way. It's beside the point that few
people have gotten to the point where
they actually speak in the anti-sexist
way they write—you need to relax and
view these words ironically. The best
way to cop this 'Tm above misogynist
language" attitude is to drop these
words in social settings as often as you
can. Being able to talk like this, whether
you are male or female, shows you
haven't been repressed by insidious polit
ical correctness.
And you'll be pleased to know
reducing people to their sexuality isn't
just for women anymore! This is the 21st
Century—the sexual revolution started over 30
years ago. People have been having sex tor at
natural doing so. And don't forget to work on
your tone as you repeat the word "fuck."
It is especially appropriate to use this word
in response when those pretentious wannabe
leftists tell you that it lost its revolutionary
meaning years ago. You know better—writing
and speaking without saying "fuck' at least
once a sentence shows that you are a victim to
the Man. Your mind has been controlled by
society baby if you don't know that "Fuck Shit
Up!" is the phrase of the revolution.
So there you have it—you now have the
tools to succeed in any radical social setting. Get
out of the fucking house and try these new skills
on for size, you sexy political bitch. Make some
signs for the rally tonight and fuck some shit up
for me. Don't forget to get laid after the protest.
Kathleen Haley
least three decades, and now that we can talk
about it. men are defending sexist behavior as
just part of their needs. Don't repress
yourself. If you're a male radical
student you should repeat, "I want to get laid,"
as much as possible. This works especially well if
white male musicians sing about get
ting laid and getting into fights. Never
mind the fact that there is a hip hop
renaissance going on right now that is
incredibly inclusive and non-sexist;
the hip. radical thing to do is buy vio
lent albums.
When you listen :c your new CDs,
you feel so sexy that you almost
forget you're from Eureka, CA. You
can tell your white friends, "This
music is real, you know? This is how
people live." Of course, these now
takes on race are being seen from
the perspective of white people. But
people of color would have to agree that these
ideas are so much more liberating to them than
political correctness which repressed people from
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