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CONTACT US AT 0.0. BOX 10X7, ATHENS, CA 70603 OR MA1L@SLACOOLE.COM LETTERS MAY BE EDITED FOR STYLE, CLARITY AND SOACE CONSIDERATIONS MOT SO OAR APART Flagpole is right [Publisher's Notes, Aug. 2] that "Home Depot 'n Lowes 'n them" located where they did because that's where the major roads are... demonstrating the huge influence roadbuilding (and sewer-building) has on devel opment. It's really easy to get federal money for roads . if locals had to pay for them, as they do (mostly) for transit and sidewalks, there wouldn't be nearly so many. Businesses benefit from the ease with which roads are widened, then widened again, making "walkable" neigh borhoods impossible... yet they are first to com plain if planners want to add a median oi elimi nate some of the many "curb cuts" (driveways) into businesses. This is what happened on Barnett Shoals/Gaines School Road, which is going from a four-lane uncrossable, non-bicy- dable street to a FIVE-lane uncrossable, non- bicydable street. Meanwhile, with the streets (and tax money) given over to cars, public transit languishes. Everybody knows the press-manufactured rivalry between Oconee County and Athens is bogus. If Oconee doesn't get more industry, property taxes will soon be higher there than in Clarke, even as traffic lines up to get into Athens. Athens- Clarke's little victories against sprawl have made us a leader in the state. Clarke and Oconee were once the same county and should have remained so. At a min imum, the two counties should cooperate and run buses between them. John Huie Athens The King of "Stride" piano does it again! Gordon Stelter should consider taking up a new instrument: one small enough to stride around with, instead of choking us all on the emissions from his musical Exxon Valdez. That's right! The maniac with the piano bolted onto the back of the belching old 70s van, bombing around in Flagpole welcomes letters and prints them without tampering with the author's intent The editors correct grammar and spelling and occasionally have to cut long letters. insane pursuit of a captive audience, is the same man who distills his hypocrisy into perennial pontifications about the perils of air pollution! Be unmasked. Dr. You-Phony-Ass Thump! Name Withheld Athens To Ms. Ficera [Kissing, August 16]: "0 say not so, 0 say not so, for it sounds of Eve's sweet pippin. By these loosened lips, you have tasted the pips, and fought in an amorous nipping."— Keats Otherwise, I'll try anytime that my Ups and tongue can be as tender and gentle with a woman as yours can be. — To Ms. Haley: [The Young Radical's Guide To The Latest Leftist Styles, Aug. 16] "Aye, swear me, Kate, a good mouth-filling oath, and leave 'in sooth,' and such protests of pepper ginger bread, to velvet guards and Sunday citizens."— Shakespeare Considering you may have written your piece tongue in cheek, whereas Ms. Ficera may have composed hers tongue somewhere else, even so, you say "men are supposed to act like dicks," but permit me to propose that the women who accommodate these dicks are themselves ascrib- able as cunts. Dontld Harris Athens WHERE ARE YOU 7 I might be biased, but here's my response to Where Is The South? [Aug. 16] Walking toward a group of guys in power suits and being forced to step into the grass: NORTH Walking toward a group of guys in overalls and basebaU hats and having them fi^ht over whose going to get to throw down their jacket so you won't get your tootsies wet in the puddles: SOUTH Being told by your new neighbors that "we say hello to each other but that's it; we all keep to ourselves:" NORTH Being told by your "soon-to-be" new neigh bors that they look forward to seeing you around and stop over sometime: SOUTH Hearing nasal, boring, droning lectures that have you hoping for the blessed relief of falling off your chair and sustaining a concussion: NORTH Listening to that sweet, slow, sexy drawl ('nuff said): SOUTH The blank look on the face of someone you just met yesterday: NORTH Recognition on the face of someone you only met once and haven't seen in six months, and having them remember your life story (which they actually wanted to hear the last time they saw you): SOUTH Up to your armpits shoveling that disgusting white stuff that looks so pretty on Christmas cards but in reality is a cruel plague (sent to make people up north slow down a little fer crissakes): NORTH Cherry blossoms in the spring; blinding sun shine (you need at least 15 minutes a day to be happy); golden fields; bright, bright green leaves; brilliant blue skies with big white puffy cotton ball clouds; lazy, snaking rivers; dean, sparkling lakes you can actually eat the fish out of: SOUTH Blurting out the first thing that comes into your head, thinking it's better to apologize for saying that wrong thing than not saying any thing at all, finishing people's sentences for them, interrupting: NORTH Sitting on the porch, listening to your grandma talk about how she used to hide whiskey bottles under her skirt when she was a little gi.l in the prohibition era, even though you heard the story a few times already, because you know that family histories are important and that telling them helps keep the memories alive for everyone: SOUTH Iced tea: NORTH Sweet tea: SOUTH Being new in town and having people look at you like you crawled out fi om under a burning spaceship (with toilet paper on your shoe) if they look at you at all: NORTH Being new in town and having people you've never even seen before say good morning, and really mean it (the Mamas and the Papas, Twelve Thirty); meeting people and have them look out for you when you're by yourself; and SMILES: SOUTH MM Email TIIS MMhRN TtILI HEY everyone; it’s time For... VINTAGE ACTION FIGURE THEATRE this week:- the MARX -OYS BEST OF the WEST' GANG STARRING IN... STICKUP AT TUB SOCIAL SECURITY . CORRAL! uh oh.* SAM COBRA iS trying to sell THE kids A BILL OF GOODS! —so you see, privatizing social SE CURITY IS Trte ONLY ANSWER! THe MARKET ALWAYS PATS Off IN me LONG RUN! _ I not SO FAST, by TOM TOMORROW THese YOUNG UNS ARE Too SMART TO LeT YOU AND YOUR WALL STREET CRONIES GET YOUR PAWS ON SOCIAL SECURITY! YOU CAN'T Fool them with your IRRA TIONAL EXUBERANCE--right, kids? HE SAYS YOUR GENER ATION WILL BLEED US DRY if WE Don't Do SOMETHING ABOUT IT; EVIL SAM COBRA'S JUST EXPLOITING GENERATION AL CONFLICT For IF THE MARKET STUCK WITH A BAILOUT DEBACLE look LIKE CHICKEN FEED! WE'VE GOT to STOP HIM—BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! For his own NEFARIOUS ENDS! EVER TANKS; HEU LEAVE YOU iailout that'll make the s&l localcolor domestic arts & gifts for friends 1931. Clayton Street 543-7392 d|t, s J-J- Flea says thanks <3^ for your support! We gave you a real flea market and you J) made us Georgia's biggest flea market! Athens, Georgia • Open 8 to 5 Saturday and Sunday J&J FLEA MARKET Highway 441 N. (Commerce Road) • 706-613-2410 AUGUST 23, 2000 m 1<M*f?P*WO 2000 ... lomorrowBwNI.com... www.tMamod4mwoild.com