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THE YEAR
IN OUTRAGES
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT: 2002 SUCKED. But from
the suckage emerged Heidi Davison, George
Maxwell, David Lynn, Kathy Hoard, and more than
enough voters to get them elected in hopes that
future years won't suck quite so hard. For now,
however. Flagpole is bound to present the inau
gural City Dope Outrage Of The Year Award®,
dishonoring the dishonest and dishing the just
desserts. Why dredge up the suckiest sucky suck
for a sucky year-end City Dope? Because we suck,
of course! Runner-up Outrages are in no particular
order. So without further Apu, suckity suck suck!
THE ACC "BUDGET CRUNCH." The FY03 Athens-
Clarke County budget prescribed across the board
cuts for every department, even shortchangmg
fundamental services like public transit and police
and fire protection. Yet the Mayor and
Commission majority (yes, here we go again) were
willing to pass up $3.1 million in state funds so
they could widen Barnett Shoals Road in a manner
Jin BI6BT0VER
tyfiilosogty
Christmas Day got me to thinking about
America's spirit of giving, and I don't mean
this overdone business of Christmas gifts. I
mean our true spirit of giving—giving of
ourselves.
Yes, we are a country of rugged individ
ualists, yet there's also a deep, community-
minded streak in each of us. We're a people
who believe in the notion that we're all in
this together, that we can make our indi
vidual lives better by contributing to the
common good.
The establishment media pays little
attention to grassroots generosity, focusing
instead on the occasional showy donation
by what it calls "philanthropists"—big
tycoons who give a little piece of their bil
lions to some university or museum in
exchange for getting a building named
after them. But in my mind, the real phil
anthropists are the millions of you ordinary
folks who have precious little money to
give, but consistently give of themselves,
and do it without demanding that their
name be engraved on a granite wall.
My own Daddy, rest his soul, was a fine
example of this. With half a dozen otner
guys in Denison, Texas, he started the
Little League baseball program, volun
teering to build the park, sponsor and
coach the teams, run the squawking P.A.
system, etc. Even after I graduated from
Little League, Daddy stayed working at it,
because his involvemeht was not merely for
his kids, but for all He felt the same way
about being taxed to build a public library
in town. I don't recall him ever going in
that building, much less checking out a
book, but he wanted it to be there for the
community and he was happy to pay his
part Not that he was a do-good liberal, for
God's sake—indeed, he called himself a
conservative.
My Daddy didn't even know he had a
political philosophy, but he did, and its the
best I've ever heard. He would often say to
me, "Everybody does better when every
body does better." If only our leaders in
Washington and on Wall Street would begin
practicing this true American Philosophy.
Jim Hightower is a political columnist,
radio commentator and former Texas agricul
ture commissioner.
deemed unsafe by the Georgia Department of
Transportation. The Commission majority also
voted to kill discussion of a mixed use Five
Points fire station, which could have saved public
moneys and created jobs and boosted the
county's commercial tax base and kept a choice
piece of property on the tax rolls. There's more.
Last week City Dope learned that substantial
raises for ACC department heads—up to $5000
each—were quietly built in to this year's "tight"
budget. Beneficiaries were informed of the wind
fall around Thanksgiving via a letter sent to their
homes. The raises are retroactive to July 1. Damn
that cursed trestle!!
"MARTIN MEADOWS." This 125-acre "conserva
tion subdivision" will be built on land previously
designated as part of Athens-Clarke County's
greenbelt. Not served by sidewalks or bus stops,
much less bike lanes, it is expected to add 630 car
trips per day to Eastside gridlock. Many of those
trips will traverse the Robert Hardeman
Road/Lexington Road intersection, considered
among the most dangerous in Athens. That's
exactly v/hat the people want, said its seven sup
porters behind the rail, who approved it in May.
DOC ELDRIDGE, MARCH 7, 2002: "It's embar
rassing that half a mile from City Hall that type of
environment [Garden Springs Mobile Home Park]
existed."
DOWNTOWN PEDESTRIAN SAFETY. Again this
summer downtown pedestrians gieeted with
blocked crosswalks and obliterated sidewalks
were offered no alternatives to weaving through
construction zones and dodging auto traffic. And
T.S. if you happened to be elderly, on crutches, in
a wheelchair, or all of the above. Worse still, when
Flagpole complained the official response, more or
less, was, "It's all in your head." Not even a pub
lished photo spread documenting unsafe condi
tions ["Walk This Way," Sept. 11] could persuade
Heery International and the county manager to do
better.
TRANSFERABLE DEVELOPMENT RIGHTS. In
December of 2000, Mayor Eldridge vetoed
Commission passage of the comprehensive devel
opment ordinance, mainly, he said at the time,
because it left no room to explore transferable
development rights as a means to preserve rural
green space. It was January 2002 before Eldridge,
admitting he had "dropped the ball," publicly
vowed to appoint a Commission committee to
study TDRs. Instead, at the Commission retreat
two months later, where exactly one member of
the public was present, Eldridge nixed TDRs alto
gether, citing Commission disinterest—the same
excuse he gave for ignoring the political white
elephant also known as the Hospital Authority.
THE HOSPITAL AUTHORITY. Commissioner John
Barrow made us full-time "journalists" look like
full-time chumps with his exhaustive investiga
tion into executive compensation at Athens
Regional Medical Center (an edited version of "The
Barrow Report" appeared in the August 7
Flagpole). Serious questions about the financial
health of Athens Regional Health Services didn't
stop the Commission majority (including a now-
contrite Carl Jordan) from approving another $50
million hospital bond issue, however, and most
of those same Commissioners and the Mayor
recoiled at Barrow's attempts to address the
Authority's incestuous appointment process.
Barrow's next crusade: collecting his Pulitzer.
THE UGA "BUDGET CRUNCH." A few weeks ago,
President Michael Adams advised staffers to
bundle up, as thermostats across campus would
be turned down this winter to save money. On the
upside, they were told, possible layoffs would
relieve some from having to worry about office
temperatures. Conservation is always a good idea,
And the inaugural City Dope Outrage Of The Year Award* goes to... it’s a tie! The Brian Kemp and Tom Chasteen campaigns!
Take a bow, fellas. You deserve it.
and job cuts are a part of life under a Bush
economy, but City Dope wonders if Adams will
advise bigwigs to prepare for climate changes in
the new Sanford Stadium skysuites. Yeah yeah,
athletics and academics are funded through dif
ferent budgets. For more on shell game book
keeping, look up Athens Regional Health Services
and/or Enron at UGA's Main Library. Wear a
sweater.
CITY DOPE. The nonsensical rantings and lies from
that idiot are just poisoning our genteel little
hamlet. What's he lying about? You mean, like,
specifically? Well, he's ... he's ... he's just lying,
that’s all!
NON-PARTISAN ELECTIONS. Having lost his
reelection bid by running as a Democrat, Doc
Eldridge immediately placed an item on the
Commission's October agenda calling for a recom
mendation on removing party affiliation from
races for Mayor and Commission. This is a con
fusing issue for many, but for City Dope it breaks
down like this: if you're a Democrat or Republican
playing by the rules, partisan elections work. It's
when you cheat by calling yourself a Democrat
while acting like a Republican (or vice versa, we
suppose) that the game turns against you. So now
Republican Democrats like Eldridge want to
change the rules by eliminating party affilia
tion—and thus party recognition and financial
support—altogether. Claiming a ground swell of
public support, the Commission Republican
Democrat majority, save Alvin Sheats(!), voted to
hold a 2003 referendum on instituting non-par
tisan elections, while rejecting motions to hold
referenda on eliminating Super Districts 9 and 10,
to change Commissioner terms from four years to
two, and to table a decision and refer the non
partisan issue to a Charter evaluation committee
to gauge public opinion. The matter is now in the
hands of Athens' state legislative delegation,
which must sign off on it, and which is under
pressure to do so from the extremely partisan
Athens Banner-Herald editorial board, which
endorsed Doc Eldridge.
THE BARNETT SHOALS WIDENING PROJECT It
should come as no surprise that this one nearly
walked away with the gold. As egregious and
unbelievable as it was, though, watching tins
mega-million dollar nightmare unfold has to
take a back seat to our 2002 City Dope Outrage Cf
The Year Award® co-winners:
BRIAN KEMP AND TOM CHASTEEN. Or, more accu
rately: the Brian Kemp and Tom Chasteen cam
paigns. Why co-winners? Our judges determined
that while the homegrown Chasteen campaign
edged Kemp's imported effort in trashiness, the
quality of Kemp's opponent—especially compared
to Kemp himself—was impossible to ignore. In
the final analysis, the two were deemed equally
worthy recipients. Bask in the glory, gentlemen.
Or, more accurately: wallow in it.
DISHONORABLE MENTION: any tricks the current
Mayor and Commission majority might have up
their sleeves between this writing and January 7.
Until then...
Brad Aaron
by TOM TOMORROW
CEO'S* LOOTING PENSION PLANS
IT'S NOT NOW I PLANNED TO
SPEND MY RETIREMENT- -BUT I
DO RAVE AN ACTIVE AND REWARD
ING LIFE...COLLECTING CANS AND
BOTTLES...
HI MILLION CITIZENS WlTROUT
HEALTH INSURANCE.'
SORRY—UNIVERSAL HEALTH COV
ERAGE WOULD BE THE FIRST STEP
TOWARD A SOCIALIST DICTATOR
SHIP!
NO PROBLEM—IF 1
EVER GET REALLY
SICK, XIX
LIE IN
DECEMBER 18, 2002 - JANUARY 1, 2003 • FLAGP0LE.COM 5
1 i M'pAVl?R*W01OO3 ... www.thlsmodemwor1d.coa.