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Skipping Towards Gomorrah: An Unflinching Look At America's Underbelly
C I want to pursue happiness, Mr. Savage,
x I and go to the bathhouse, OK, you can't
stop me..."—Bill O'Reilly, professional conserva
tive asshole and host of The O'Reilly Factor on
Fox News.
Boy, where are the sound-byte junkies now? If
I had my way, that quote would have been ALL
OVER the news the day after Dan Savage appeared
on "The O'Reilly Factor." And incidentally, if any of
you out there have a videotaped copy of that par
ticular segment. I'll pay good money for it. It's no
wonder that O'Reilly is beside himself. Somebody
(namely Dan Savage) finally got the courage (and
the book deal) to stand up to him and his other
conservative cohorts, what Savage refers to as
"the virtuecrats" that insist that America is on the
decline because we just can't find it in ourselves
to collectively bend to their moral will.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "This guy is
a nationally syndicated sex advice columnist. His
weekly column appears in about 75 different
alternative papers. He answers questions about
incest, bestiality, cross-dressing, hardcore S&M
practices, three-ways, and FURRIES, for Pete's
sake. And he's GAY. Do I really need to read this
book to figure out where he stands politically?"
Probably not, but this is a damn funny book.
And you might be surprised to loa n what Savage's
political beliefs are. The thing is, Skipping Towards
Gomorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Pursuit of
Happiness in America (E.P. Dutton, 2002) is not a
bunch of preach-to-the-liberal-choir crap. It is
one man's journey into the Seven Deadly Sins—
American Style. Along the way, there are lessons
(in how to play blackjack, for example); there are
interesting people (dealers and prostitutes and
swingers—oh my!!), and there is some valuable
political commentary.
Savage spends some time walking in other
people's shoes: practicing gluttony and scoping
FA's (fat admirers) with fat women at an NAAFA
(that's National Association for the Advancement
of Fat Acceptance) conference; experiencing the
thrill of risking everything (well, at least a couple
grand) at a casino in Iowa; peering into the
lusty underbelly of
Middle-American suburbs
with swinging couples
from unlikely places and
backgrounds; throwing
away a BUNCH of money
to spend a week with
several scarily wealthy
people under not-fabulous
living conditions, appar
ently in order to see how
we, the poorer half live.
(Incidentally, this chapter
really pissed me off. If
those people want to spend
$3200 for a week AWAY
from their wealth, I
thought, why don't they
just pay some poor asshole
like me to rent my place?)
Savage also exposes
some of the hypocrisy in
"Gay Pride" groups and drug
legalization proponents,
while still managing not to
demonize either party. When he attends a Pride
parade (something he wouldn't normally do), what
he sees is everybody just letting loose and having
a good time, which in cities big enough to have
Pride parades, they can do without fear anyway.
So why all the fuss? "We're doing it for the kids" is
the pat answer. "But there aren't many 'kids'
here," he argues. "You're doing this because it's
fun." Same with the drug legalization advocates.
Most of them don't HAVE glaucoma, or cancer, the
ability to make paper or the myriad of other prod
ucts that hemp can be used for. They want pot
legalized so they can SMOKE
it. Because it's fun. And con
trary to what the moralists
would like us to believe, that
doesn't make it necessarily
bad. Mostly what lie's saying
here is that if everybody
were a bit more honest
about their motives they
might get taken more seri
ously. Can I get an
"Amen"?
"/ simply cannot stand
by and watch a right guar
anteed by the Constitution
of the United States come
under attack from those
who either can't under
stand it [or] don't like
the sound of it. "—
Charlton Heston
This quote is taken
from the opening of the
most interesting (and
perhaps the most impor
tant) chapter: "ANGER: My piece. My Unit." Our
narrator takes us into the heart of gun country
(Plano, Texas) to learn about guns and the people
who love them. In doing so. Savage finds that he
is not only a really good shot, but that in fact HE
ENJOYS IT. Weird, huh? He also makes some very
important points about first and second amend
ment rights: in a nutshell, if people who are so
hell bent on protecting first amendment rights
would ALSO be hell bent on protecting second
amendment rights and vice-versa, then everybody
would be better off. Savage argues, and I have to
agree, that we can't defend the Bill of Rights or
the Constitution in piecemeal fashion. If we are
going to have freedoms, then we have to live with
some of the ones that we don't like. But whatever
freedoms we don't like, WE DON'T HAVE TO PARTIC
IPATE IN. That's the beauty of this country. That's
what our founding fathers wanted. That's what the
Borks and Buchanans want us Lo ignore. They
want to choose what's good for us, because obvi
ously in their opinion the average American can't
decide for himself.
The hypocrisy and obvious self-serving nature
of the rantings of these social conservatives is
evident to anyone who can read through their
bullshit. However, as Savage points out, their
books are always topping the best-seller lists,
leading him to conclude that, "There are appar
ently a huge number of Americans, registered
Republicans all, who never seem to tire of being
told that they live in a morally bankrupt shit-
hole... "
Well, I am tired of it. And now I know I am
not alone. This book wanders. It talks more about
some sins than others and often takes a iong time
to get to a particular point. But in the end, it is
wildly amusing and makes a lot of sense. Skipping
Towards Gomorrah is not going to make converts
of conservatives, but if they are willing to read, it
just might make them think. As for everybody
else, it is reaffirming and potentially motivating. I
wish Dan Savage would run for office. Any office.
Jyl Inov
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