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MAHERS OF THE HEART AND LOINS
Do you have your column anywhere on-line? I
used to live in Athens and now live in St. Louis and
would like to continue reoding it
If you can't read it now, STL then I can't
imagine how you are going to get an answer to
this question, or how you managed to ask it, for
that matter. But if you have found this answer,
then obviously you are aware that
Flagpole has a website, www.flag
pole.com, and that I appear
every week, on said s<te, in
the same format, minus the
fabulous dip art.
I recently (three months
ago) broke up with my girl
friend of two years,
because she treated me
like crap. I am an attrac
tive., good, honest 21-
year-old guy, and I live in
Athens because of my job,
where I make good money
(especially for a 21-year-old).
I have a great personality...
blah, blah, blah. Here's the
problem: I NEED/ WANT a rebound! But I am not
that guy in the bar that comes up to you with a
cheesy line and offers to buy you a drink. I am the
guy that you get to know, and then one day you
realize that you are in love with me. but I just
want to get laid! Is that so wrong, and if not. how
do I get out there and get some without playing
the part of the stereotypical macho man, and get
away with it guilt-free?
Sleepless in Athens
I have news for you, S. Being the guy with
the cheesy line and the drink offer will never get
you laid—at least not property. What you need to
do is forget the lines and go out and be confi
dent and talk to some women. Surely you must
realize that not all women are looking for love?
There is no guilt if you are up front about what
you want. Spring has sprung, man! Graduation is
around the comer! If you had to miss the
Spring Break bus, this is easily the next
best thing.
Vm engaged to a guy 15 years
older than me TVe known him
forever. I was thrilled by his
unexpected proposal but now
it seems when we're out in
public that he's embarrassed
about our oge difference! Tm
an attractive fit, young woman
(early IDs), but I do look
younger than my age When we go
somewhere other than on a one-
on-one date say, in front of
business associates or to a
social event, he leaves me and
talks to anyone there he
knows, but me Vm confused! I don't want to
spend the rest of my life with someone who acts
like they don't want to be with me in public
Should I just call it off? Should I try to talk about
it? It makes no sense whatsoever to me By the
way, we haven't set a date and Tm not planning
on it anytime soon, until some of the issues are
resolved.
Please help!!
Still Gets Carded 4 Smokes
How long have you been engaged? If you have
known him forever, but haven't known him in a
romantic relationship, then is it possible that this
is just the way he is? You haven't given me any
reason why you think your age difference is an
issue for him. (Is it because you use numbers in
place of words when you write? Are you
declaring your love for him in pink ballpoint
on bathroom walls and your Trapper
Keeper?) Or maybe, just maybe, is it pos
sible that the age difference is an
issue for you? Of course you
should talk to him about this.
Please do, immediately. And
kudos for not sprinting down
that aisle before you get
things resolved. Too bad all
of my readers aren't as
prudent
I have been with a girl
that I truly am in love with for
a year. This is the only girl I •
could ever see myself in love with
forever. Good, right? Well. I have
no idea how to handle my need
for variety in sexual partners. My
girl will not go for the "open"
relationship or swinging, but I
need it I would never want
to cheat on this girt I know
that I would be ruining a
very good thing. I try to ful
fill my desires with role play,
pom and various fantasies (we have
great sex), but I am still burning for that feeling of
sex with someone new or unfamiliar. I could not go
through life with one girl hell I am having trouble
making it one year. I feel tike if I expose these
desires to my girl she will feel inadequate, unloved,
and begin to doubt my fidelity. I have presented
the swinging question before in context of another
person's situation and was told "I could never do
that!" Is there an actual mental diagnosis for
people that need random encounters with new
people? How do some people just screw each other
for 30 years?
Damned Evil Penis.
Well, DEP, in this particular circumstance, I felt
it best to turn to somebody with more experience
in your situation. Jack was unavailable for
comment, so I sought instead the wisdom
of a married guy. Here's what he said:
"Yeah, that *acute mental diag
nosis' is called being male.
'Burning for that feeling of sex
with someone new' is the basis of
the billion dollar pom industry.
Welcome to adulthood. Have you
had other partners in the past?
It sounds like this is your first
girlfriend. If you really love this
girt, and the sex is good,
including the role-playing etc.,
then you just have to suck it
up and endure with grace the
dull ache of monogamy, like
every other monogamous
man on the planet does. An
open or swinging relation
ship is a death-knell Telling your
girlfriend how you feel will not
end welL Just keep vacillating
between pom and Buddhist scrip
tures, and master your domain, you
whiny thing."
Thanks for the sage advice, my
friend. And I would like to add that I know plenty
of women who have trouble with monogamy as
welL Maybe you just aren't ready for a committed
relationship right now? Just a thought
Jyl Inov
Got a question for Jyl? Submit your anony
mous inquiry via the Reality Check button at
www.fiagpole.com.
COMECELEBREATE
WITH US! GREAT DRINK
SPECIALS ON
MARGARITAS,
DAQUIRIS, BEER,
AND WINE
TUESDAY MAY 3
SPECIAL SCREENING EVENT
the soul behind the sound
. • (,
standing * shodoius d
FRIDAY MAY 6th 2005
@40 WATT CLUB
7 00pm FILM SCREENING • $5 admission
9.00pm DISCUSSION/Q&A W/DR LICKS
71
Ailtnsr/producer ALLAN "DR LICKS" SLUfSKY
will be in attendance to present the
film and O&A discussion after the screi ding.
Based on the award*Winning hook o' the
same title this documentary & performance film tells
tne story of the funk brothers the legend; >
musicians who were the soul behind the sorter of
Motown.s Detroit era After more than three decades
they arc reunited to play the music together Aoam
and to ten their unforgettable story
standingintheshadowsofmotown com
Followed by soul S disco dance part with
KRUSH GIRLS.
THURSDAY MAY 5th @ BORDERS BOOKSTORE 7 00pm
Presented by •
ATMFE512005 • WWW athfest com.
and
film ATHENS • totow.filmatfoens net
APRIL 27, 2005 • FLAGP0LE.COM 43