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MATTERS OF THE HEART AND LOINS
rm friends with this chick and we've been
hanging out a lot together, going to eat movies,
rock concerts, etc. Rough we have never called
any of these things “dates," we are practically
dating. We talk on the phone every day. usually
more than once. I mean, people always think we
are together. Whatever. So I have told myself
about a million times not to get caught up,
because she has just gotten out of a
bad relationship recently (due in
part to our hanging out "too
much"). She was always get
ting mod at the guy for
being so jealous and stuff,
but now I really do like her,
and I don't know if I should
tell her or what.
Help?
Unsigned
Just because every
body else thinks you're
dating doesn't mean she
does, but it also doesn't
mean she wouldn't date you.
Obviously she remained
friends with you in spite of
(because of?) her ex's feelings about the situa
tion. Though I usually advise people to just be
honest and straightforward, in this instance I
think you should cool it awhile and just continue
to be friends. If you try to push something after
she has just recently broken up with somebody,
you are less likely to have a good relationship.
Let her rebound a bit, continue to be her friend,
and see where things go. If you don't have a
better idea about how she feels in six months.
then you can lay your cards on the table and see
what happens. •
JVe been having problems lately and I don't
know why. I mean, fm perfect 1 don't understand
how anyone could not want my body. There's this
guy that I net a few weeks ago at a dub and I
tried to put out, but he wouldn't do it Am I gross
or something? I mean, rm not a whore. I
don't have any STDs or anything. I don't
know i: i hat I should do. I really need
somebody—I am so sexually frus
trated. What are some things that
turn guys on?
Help!
Sexually Frustrated
Maybe the problem is that
you're not a whore. Have you
considered maybe wearing
something smaller, tighter or
more see-through? Perhaps you
could get yourself a baby tee
that advertises the feet that
you're STD-free? And obviously
you're not hanging around in
the right bars. Maybe it would
be easier for you if you just get on a personals
site and advertise! Those sites also allow you to
weed out the losers who don't work out all day or
drive a good enough car. Try nerve.com, myspace
or friendster.
I broke up with this girt The breakup was
mostly my fault Too much boozing and floozing.
She developed mental problems. Is it probable or
Ukety that she would have done so anyway, or
could my behavior have been a factor, or might it
do any good to try and get back together with her?
Bummer
Don't flatter yourself, Bum. If the girl has
mental problems, she probably already had them.
Maybe you were just the last straw? Unless she
has dealt with or is dealing with her problems,
you should probably steer clear. But if you admit
to being part of the problem, wouldn't trying to
get back with her just be selfish? Go cheat on a
new giri.
I don't know what's wrong
with me. I keep meeting new
guys, often very nice, very cute
guys who I am totally compat
ible with. I go out with them a
few times, maybe see
them for a month or
two, and then I start
blowing them off. I
don't really mean to
do it, but I get dis
tracted and busy
and I don't want
to hurt their feel
ings, so I just sort
of... wander off.
Does this make sense
at all? I have had a few real
relationships, and I used to be a
normal giri! Why can't I settle down?
Help!
Spring Fever
SF, are you sure you don't have a dick? Are
you a guitar player? There has to be some expla
nation. The thing is, there's nothing wrong with
dating people and then moving on. Its just that
yoj aren't very graceful on the dismount and you
have to be an adult and have conversations with
these guys that are not necessarily going to be
pleasant But also, ask yourself what it is you are
looking for and why you aren't finding it Did
your few "real relationships' end badly? Did you
get hurt? Are you afraid of commitment? Are you
just dating the wrong guys? Maybe you should try
just being friends with the next couple guys you
meet—like, for a long time—before you i’ate
anybody.
My mom is a hypocrite. She has been married
twice, and has had more "boyfriends' than I can
possibly count Now that I am old enough to start
dating, she is always telling me that the guys I like
aren't good enough. This
includes friends of mine
that I am not even dose
to going out with! I am
so sick of her giving me
her opinions that I want
to scream. How can she
make choices for me when she has
made such bad ones herself?
Over It
I understand your frustra
tion, but try to understand that
your mom is really trying to do
the right thing. It is probably
because she made such bad
choices that she fears the
ones you might make.
Try to talk to her,
and let her know
that you're not
jumping to get married right now. Also, make sure
that she knows which guys are your friends and
which ones you are interested in and why. I know
it sounds corny, but you sound Uke you have a
good head on your shoulders. She will probably
get off your back if you communicate with her so
she knows that
Jyt Inov
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JUNE 1, 2005 • FLAGPOLE.COM • 31