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VIVA LA TRONQONNEUSE!
HIGH TENSION (R) With your old buddy Drew on
assignment in wcr-tom Sundance, favorite cousin
Glen was graciously allowed to enlighten you good
people about the scariest thing the French have
sent West since Monsieur Godard. And you're lucky
to have me. Cousin doesn't go in for the super gory
stuff. Me, I'm a real aficionado and High Tension is
the real deal. Seriously, this flick, called Haute
Tension in its original frog, has more balls than
Jacques Chirac, or so Debra
JoJo says. (I'd never offer
such an offensive critique.
Dill's just like that) But
I'm getting ahead pf
myself, because first thing
you need to know is you've
got to be able to read to
fully appreciate this accu
rately titled picture.
Yep, there are subti
tles, but there's bad dub
bing too and a lot cf
screaming and running
around covered in blood,
so literacy is not quite a
prerequisite. Writer-
director Alexandre Aja's
not Fellini or anything.
(Though he is helming the
remake of drive-in classic
The Hills Have Eyes, which, judging from this grue
some goodie, has mucho potential.) This flick
reminded me more of horror's Holy Grail, The Texas
Chainsaw Massacre, than anything ever. Even more
than that music video they call a remake. Of
course, High Tension might call to mind TXCM due
to the fact that it very nearly is the same film over
again, but Aja is French. Cut him some slack. The
gist of the pic is two girts, one French (ttcile De
France, which means C£cile from France - that's
pretty obvious already, don't you think?), one
Amurcan (Maiwenn - who does she think she is?
Madonna?), are studying in the isolated French
countryside that, 1 got to be honest, looks like
Nebraska, but colder. Well one of the girls, the
French one, has the hots for her friend. Entrer la
rusty old truck driven by le razor-wielding psycho
who also digs the Amurcan friend. (Honestly, I
don't see what all the fuss
is about She's not that
hot I prefer the pixyish
French chick, though she's
got some problems of her
own.) Once rawr-wiclding
psycho shows up, all hell
breaks loose, and the film
doesn't let up from there
on. Tough cookie though
she is. DJJ (I didn't want
to take her, but she'd been
yapping about a date for
weeks) about hyperventi
lated. (Fortunately, she
never watches a movie
sans a paper bag, if you
catch my drift)
Final count gives us
two breasts (that's one
pair for those unaware
few) and some onanism (it's not like thesauruses
cost that much) and seven stiffs (one decapitated
by Chester drawers). Lacks the kung fu but makes
up for its deficiency with barbed wire, a circular
saw and buckets of blood. Glen says this could
only get better if it were playing at a drive-in.
And don't wopy. Drew will be back next week.
Glen Dingier
Cecile De France
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