Newspaper Page Text
Evangelina. MIA probes the American
Dream and its accessibility tor many
immigrant nannies and maids The
screening will be following by a
discussion led by Darlene Rodriguez
Sponsored by the Institute for Women's
Studies and the UGA Libraries Media
Department Shows Tuesday. 3/21
(UGASLC)
THE PINK PANTHER (PG) Inspector
Clouseau (Steve Martin) packs his
meager sleuthing skills into a carry-on
to chase prime suspect and interna
tional pop sensation Xania (Beyoncfi
Knowles) across the Atlantic No
classic, the Pink Panther's ninth life
ranks as merely its sixth funniest
(Beechwood); Shows Friday. 3/17 &
Friday. 3/18 (Highway 17 Theatres).
Ends Thursday (Carmike)
THE RINGER (PG-13) With the taste
lessly offensive plot drippings of a Rob
Schneider flick. The Ringer, starring
Johnny Knoxville as a schlub who pre
tends to be mentally challenged in or
der to fix the Special Olympics, is one
ol the most heartlifting^open-minded
comedies, heck, films of the year Ends
Thursday (Georgia Square 5)
THE SHAGGY DOG (PG) Director
Brian Robbins (Varsity Blues) and a
gaggle of screenwriters provide Tim
Allen with ample opportunity to per
form his stupid human ti icks as Dave
Douglas, an L A. Deputy D A whose
life has gone to the dogs The worka
holic ignores his wife (Kristin Davis)
and kids (Zena Grey and lispy Spencer
Breslin) until an animal attack leaves
him more interested in fetching tennis
balls than prosecuting the guilty The
high-profile cast—Danny Glover. Jane
Curtin and Robert Downey. Jr —have
fun with this childish break from
adult acting, former convict Downey
especiaiy In the dog eat dog world
ol family films. Shaggy won't win best
in show, but it's no mutt either Be
sure t) leave before the credits soni-
cally assault you with the worst pop
song of the year. Akon* 'Big Dog *
(Beechwood. Carmike)
SHE'S THE MAN (PG-13) Amanda
Bynes (The WBs "What I Like About
You*) does updated Shakespeare in the
latest adaptation of the Bard's Twelfth
Night Bynes is Viola, who dresses up
as her brother to attend a prestigious
boarding school, where she promptly
gets into sticky guy... er. girl troubles.
Opens Friday (Beechwood. Carmike)
THE SOLDIER’S HEART (NR) In
commemoration ol the Iraq War s third
Anniversary, the Athens Global Justice
Collective is sponsoring two films To
raise awareness of the war and funds
for our wounded * The second. The
Soldiers Heart, ts a P8$ Frontline doc
umentary delving into what our military
has spenl. psychologically, on the Iraq
War A means to donate to *No Soldier
Left in Need,* a group looking to take
care ol the needs of wounded troops
and their families, will be provided at
each screening Shows Wednesday.
3/22 (Tate)
STYLE WARS (NR) 1983 The media
department of UGA's Main Library
is presenting a hip hop film series
titled *Up Jumped the Boogie * The
film Style Kids explores the second ol
the cultured lour pillars: graffiti writ
ing, Henry Chalfant and Tony Silver
captured the conflict raging in the
1980s between New York* taggers
Knowledgeable interviewees include
Cap. Frosty Freeze. Kase 2. Crazy
Legs. Mare. Seen. Skeme. and former
NYC Mayor and presiding judge over
'The People’s Court.* Ed Koch Shows
Tuesday. 3/21 (UGASLC)
TRANSAMERICA (R) The gender
dysphoric Bree Osbourne (Academy
Award nominee Felicity Huffman), a
woman born a man. is ‘living stealth *
One week before her sexual reassign
ment surgery. Bree receives a call
informing her she has a son. Toby
(Kevin Zegers). who is in prison Once
Bree and Toby get across Texas and
into New Mexico, what was an amus
ingly discomfiting film becomes one of
amazing complexity. A tough, respect
able film, Transamerica deserves to be
seen for more than just Huffman* tran
scendent performance. (Beechwood)
ULTRAVIOLET (PG-13) In the future,
everyone either dresses lor the modern
totalitarian dictatorship or a rave, and
an unfortunate ’infected* super-race
is fighting for survival against 'nor
malcy * Violet-(Milla Jovovich). a fool
soldier in this Underworld-stite blood
war. stumbles upon humanity's plan to
rid themselves of her kind. Nowhere
in this mish-mash of Aeon Flux and
Resident Evil can a lick of sense be
made (Carmike). Ends Thursday
(Beechwood)
< V FOR VENDETTA (R) Comic god
Alan Moore* vision of a totalitarian
London was pushed back from the fall
after a massive Tube explosion was
mirrored in a real-life terrorist act
Created by the Wachowski Brothers
(The Matrix Trilogy and directed by
James McTeigue. First A D. from the
Brothers’ previous features. Vmight be
the him adaptation to get the difficult
Moore right, visually and thematically.
Also starring Hugo Weaving. Stephen
Rea and John Hurl. Opens Thursday
(Carmike); Opens Friday (Beechwood)
WALK THE UNE (PG-13) Walk the
Z/heglides along on the aping skills
ol Joaquin Phoenix. Its hear! is the
romance between Johnny and soulmate
June Carter (Oscar winner Reese
Witherspoon). (Georgia Square 5)
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (PG
13) As a big bad tan of horror, imagine
my surprise at the Empire State
Building heights of terror generated by
this remake. From the audience* con
stant shrieking and my increased heart
rate, this Stranger's call communicates
its terrifying message (Highway 17
Theatres)
Drew Wheeler
4re a Stonge
jckrA* nVlV*. v\amj <# 1W* «
kuK.H\e ttocA 6aw*. ACc. 1
cn a (to-teen ft-
*6.T] \OWe fob
yvaiA asiAy ck\ \ Sto-fcbi Sw
on 1kM { J) && f »*■
*5 bettf
SjMntf's aLosV ovtr tfafeyJ
aW*/ i OU Ao[ fl/W^we. is n
Nunley b<«*cU Ui/n* £*11 -f* r
f^<Ky\ot <K it Kb
jokes w*»l( litip -Htwi I**'*
of
Jovt <,t«\\t oa our be/*«*«*
oImoy'.o^s
cafeses... cUbhc. -ftth
.of ijo&lr " U*S /1fS<r bft* \q\*a*.
Ho. > I »//*’ ... I *
btlit^eJ your
. I f J \.,Jm ./i
ft1
VRC Vf'* ••• » ’ ■
t /*f
o/»s *nclAt,uf* ...
- 7 *,osW>
( ^ I
$urfb<*Mi
S? vjeoJL yovtae, ^ Iom,*/ ass . 'frhttss
0^'inVi+dl'tt) KAj SKlMbeT '/Vfcc&Wlte" (<*\ k.vMi^) i* n *A*rkv iee/1 wrAoi
\>e£A c«ocA \Jf to il’t ktlf f—Uaj.
Serf of f Att* +• We
fir
l?o/s prtHy etutLi
lo*b OA MC • Ml At*tr ItATA. A*,
iSpkASarrf VtouajA # JlescTO^
bot ifs a of its "
OwJn DwogYixpKc. ctrd ^
be vjitxoedt by wycwc ujKo locis a.t PoUvfj
1WodjK*TV«,boxoYy of V&of-'JitoA Alfred-
^05t\y if is exoc-tlij ulWit if SeevAS.'b^
a* inrvocooos,
testiKkenia\ 4o friends ,-fmS
SoAAec Uo«—• (bNb)
^^ ^ ^ pomrl Spji ia
See
SotAsAtr
i
into any
/ _ J
it $*//« is buditAj *l*t* iUt y r J s .
K i^ort oA io kt*f> •' T** 1 '
^iH, fire *orwl$ Ht/Ve
flit uit. o-p -fjk/nw s Ur niU f
>>— -— inti ktJJhi*)
r fnHo.s.y TU*Ak$ t Wj
A/*H/ / ytfhut
yi* *h>
t) ke J
cfcvjs 044
It'll
uft
EYE FOR AN EYE
THE HILLS AVE EYES (R) Way back when, kiddos,
Wes Craven was the bastard filmmaking son of a
hundred maniacs. Coming of cinematic age in the
heyday of drive-in exploitation flicks, his early
films—Last House on the Left and The Hills Hove
Eyes—were stark, hyper-surreal gut punches.
Though you may recall his Freddy as a bon mot-
tossing rogue with a ghoulish grin, Craven's
initial creation was a malicious, charred child
killer. Too bad old Wes' output turned kind of
spotty thereafter. Yes, he brilliantly used Scream
4.0 deconstruct the genre he helped to create, but
surrounding that gem on Craven's IMDb page are
painful reminders of Shocker, Vampire in Brooktyn,
and his scariest film for all the wrong reasons,
the Meryl Streep violin weepie. Music of the Heart.
Even when he delivered the goods in last year's
Red Eye, an efficient likable little B-movie, the
old visceral bloodletting was missing. Where has
all the charming nastiness that inspired genre
filmmakers Eli Roth, Rob Zombie and Hills remak
ers Alexandre Aja and Grigory Levasseur, gone?
homes prior to the testing of the atomic bomb,
a band of miners, mutated beyond description
and driven mad by isolation and too much day
time TV (their non-cable ready televisions have
forced them into being de facto fans of “Divorce
Court"), survive by preying upon wayward travel
ers misled by the last gas station attendant from
whom you'd ever want to get directions. The rest
of the film, fairly well summarized by its tag,
“The lucky ones die first* (that point's arguable,
as typically, I would consider the lucky ones to
be the one who don't die at all), hews stunningly
close to Craven's fundamental vision, narratively
and dialogically. If this trek through Hills is your
second (or third or fourth), few surprises await
you. Even Aja and LevasseuKs graphic updates
for the desensitized lack any real shock value.
Mathematically, the amount of carnage is in
versely proportional to the quantity of tension.
The early dread, as the Carters unknowingly wait
for their remorseless attackers, suffocates like
the desert heat enveloping them. Later, when the
Emilic De Ravin
Now the planet-size, classic-devouring remake
machine, having chewed up and spit out George
A. Romero and John Carpenter, has finally arrived
at Craven, after eyeing his delectable early suc
cess. A remake of Hills has two things working
in its favor: nothing could be as poorly con
ceived as Craven's own sellout sequel, cobbled
together from a couple of feet of new footage
and "flashbacks* from the original (one of which
is told from a dog's P.O.V.). Additionally, the
Hills are crawling with themes of social conflict
and familial breakdown, inherently present (but
overlooked) in the skeletally economical 1977
flick. Craven's tale was quite basic. On cinema's
worst vacation until the Griswolds headed to
WallyWorld, a family chooses to take the "scenic"
desert route to California and runs into a family
whose aspirations run simply to survival can
nibalism, rape and theft In other words, all the
fun college kids have on Spring Break in Cancun.
The remake, from Craven's handpicked successors
Aja and Levasseur, picks the earlier film's nar
rative bones clean, gnawing bits of gristly the
matic meat Craven never touched. The path cut
through the Hills by the Gallic duo behind Haute
Tension—the best slasher film since Craven's own
Scream—does not stiay far from the original's
harrowing track, though in its best moments,
it branches off into seamy visions of Americana
worthy of Lars Von Trier.
Winding their way through the New Mexico
desert, the Carters—Big Bob (Ted Levine),
his wife Ethel (Kathleen Quinlan), their kids
(including Emilie de Ravine from "Lost") and
infant grandchild—run afoul of the ultimate
twisted version of the now-defunct nuclear fam
ily. Defying a government order to vacate their
reluctant Democrat son-in-law (Aaron Stanford)
becomes a bespectacled Rambo, stalking the mu-
ties who plan on having his daughter for dinner
(speaking of babies, the screening I attended
possessed a waiter I would've modestly proposed
the freaks eat), the tension dissipates, replaced
by a patriotic thirst for radioactive blood.
Impressively, Hills joins Dawn of the Dead
'04 as the only other remake to improve upon
aspects of the original. Aja and Levasseur have
mined Hills for its statements on the present
condition of the family in America. The film's
genuine nuclear family is fighting tooth-and-nail
to hold onto what they once had. The muties
inhabit tract housing—a little piece of contami
nated suburbia in the middle of the desert they
can call home—and work together to achieve
their goal of survivaL In contrast, the Carters
bicker, feud and detrimentally work at cross-pur
poses. America's past and present collide over
the future. Despite such major messaging, the
filmmakers only sermonize once, briefly, about
the bomb and the government's indifference
bordering on contempt for "We the [unimportant,
i.e. poor, minority) People." Otherwise, the mor
alizing, though bloodily delivered with a pickaxe,
a baseball bat and a German Shepard, never
gets heavy-handed. This film is a visual stunner;
LevasseuKs wasteland art direction especially
impresses. This slice of Americana pie says a lot
more than most in the genre. The Hills Have Eyes
is a down-and-dirty flick that speaks volumes
about the United States of America, whose red,
white and blue hills will have many eyes watch
ing. But is anyone listening?
Drew Wheeler
MARCH 15,2006 • FLA6POLE.COM A >15 -