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MAHERS OF THE HEART AND LOINS
Afy significant other and I are very busy
people. We both have jobs (I have two) and hob
bies, and are socially and politically very active
people. We have been together for a couple of
years, and recently moved in together. I am very
happy in this relationship and I be-
lieve that the feeling is mutual. It
does seem, however, that we
are getting to a point where
we actually have to make
plans to have sex. I feel like
I am penciling it in to my
appointment book or some
thing. I pointed this fact
out the other day (while m
we were penciling each
other in for an interlude
later in the evening),
and he barely reacted.
He seemed to brush it off
like it was a joke, which in
all fairness it was, at least
at the time, but now it is
bothering me. Am I making
too much of this?
Calendar Girt
Thir.k of it this way, CG, at least you're get
ting some. Would you rather pencil in sex, or
erase it? If you are really concerned, then you
either need to ease up on the hobbies, quit one
of your jobs, or learn the art of
the quickie. I know you said
that you are both busy, but I'd
bet that if he comes home
and finds you naked in the
kitchen, he'll be willing to
be a few minutes late to the
Young Republicans meeting.
Besides, election season is
over now, right?
My ex and I have been
broken up fur almost a year.
He was cheating on me for
months and I didn't know,
and even though l suspect
other people knew, no
body told me.
I
am dat
ing a new guy, and
things are going
okay, but I keep
seeing my ex (we
have a lot of the
same friends and
hang out at some of the
same places) and he keeps
hitting on me. He is dating a new girl. too. And
she is really nice. I am stilt kind of in love with
him, but I think I could hove a good thing with
this new guy if I give it a chance. Some of my
friends think I should give my ex another chance,
and part of me wants to, but port of me can’t
forgive him for making me look stupid. New Guy
is very patient with the whole situation, but I
know it bothers him when the ex hits on me. What
should I do?
Unsigned
You are right where you need to be for now.
New Guy sounds very promising, whereas your ex
sounds like an insecure jackass, and your friends
sound like they would rather have the two of you
together because it is more convenient for them.
(This may also be the reason why none of them
bothered to tell you he was cheating on you for
so long). Find some new places to spend time
with New Guy. He probably has some friends
and some haunts of his own, right? So
spend some time there, or find some new
ones that you can both enjoy. Also,
consider staying in more. It can be
a lot of fun, and it will give
you more one-on-one time
with New Guy, which will
help you get to know him
better, and will probably help
you to leave the ex mentally
in the dust. When you do go
out, make it very clear (without
being a shrill, annoying drama
queen) to your ex that ycu are
really happy with New Guy and
that you would appreciate it
if said ex would keep his dis
tance. both for your sake and
that of his new girl. And if any of your so-called
friends suggest taking him back again, remind
them of the pain and humiliation that you suf
fered at the hands of your ex, and tell them how
much happier you are.
I have a coworker who has absolutely no sense
of propriety. He is loud and boisterous, which is
bad enough in our smalt, quiet office, and he
has a habit of making suggestive remarks
to everyone and talking about his sex life
more openly than we would all prefer. I
don’t know ho v to approach him about
this, but it is driving us all crazy. It isn ’t
. . like harassment or anything serious, but
he is embarrassing himself and the rest
of us on a fairly regular basis, and I vac
illate between fearing he will gei fired and
hoping he does. I know he is completely
unaware of how his behavior iroffecting
everyone, and that he doesn't mean
any harm, but it really has to stop.
Should I tell him, or should I just
keep my mouth shut and hope
one of the bosses does?
Red
I think you should take
the guy out to lunch one day
and explain everything to him
the way you just explained it
to me. Obviously he is somewhat
new in your office, and he has no
idea that he is bothering everybody,
and he needs someone to guide him
so he doesn't get into trouble. Be gentle.
Tell him that you all realize that he doesn't
mean any offense, but that his behavior is
not appropriate for the environment. Make sure
he knows that you are trying to help, and that
no one is attacking him, but that everyone would
be more comfortable if he would lay off of the
sex talk. If it is as bad as it sounds, then he will
either thank you and modify his behavior or get
himself fired when somebody else goes higher up
for their own ''talk." Giving him a heads up now
is the right thing to do. He will probably thank
you, and even if he doesn't, everyone else in the
office will.
Confidential to Hopin'...:
Steer clear of caffeine and garlic. Stay hydrat
ed. And don't even think about Oragel—you'll
both be numb (not easy to get off like that) and
you will probably sustain a nasty injury without
even realizing it until later.
JylInov
Got a question for Jyl? Submit your anonymous inquiry via
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