Newspaper Page Text
Some releases may not be showing locally this week.
ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS (PG)
My nostalgic love tor the Chipmunks
lowered my expectations for the their
live-action/ CGI debut, which was a
good thing.
THE ANT BULLY (PG) Based on a
book by John Nickle. The ‘ant bully” is
young Lucas Nickle, who finds himself
magically shrunk to ant size after
flooding a colony with his water gun.
Like most animated flicks, Ant Bully is
packed with as many celebrity voices as
an anthill is with drones. Nicolas Cage,
Julia Roberts. Paul Giamatti, Meryl
Streep. Lily Tomlin, Bruce Campbell
and Ricardo Montalban vocalize every
kind of ant from the queen to a wiz
ard. Written and directed by “Jimmy
Neutron’ creator John A. Davis.
THE BIG LEBOWSKI (R) 1998.
Filmmaking siblings Ethan and Joel
Coen (Fargo) veer into bizarre comic
territory with this quirky and well-made
“mistaken identity" flick. Jeffrey “The
Dude" Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) is the
ultimate L.A. slacker, until one day his
house is broken into and his rug is
peed on by two angry gangsters who
have mistaken him for Jeffrey Lebowski
(the "big" one), a millionaire, whose
wife owes some bad people some big
money. The Dude becomes entangled
in a hilariously complicated plot when
he goes to visit the real Lebowski
in order to get some retribution for
his soiled rug. With John Goodman,
Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi and
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
COLLEGE ROAD TRIP (G) Martin
Lawrence is Chief James Porter, the
overprotective policeman father who
decides to accompany - and mortify -
his daughter, high school senior Rachel
(Raven-Symon6), on a cross-country
trip to pick a college.
THE FALL (R) Strangely, I reacted
much the same way to Tarsem's
definitely artsy The Fall as I did to last
week’s certainly mainstream Get Smart.
I was bored and unengaged by the
characters or their situations. Tarsem
(The Celt) has unquestionably created
one of the year's most visually stunning
films, but as an adult fairy tale. The
Fall is easily outclassed by Guillermo
del Toro's more emotionally affecting
Pan's Labyrinth. Roy Walker (Lee Pace,
whose pleasant presence on “Pushing
Daisies' is inadequate here), a stunt
man working in the infancy of cinema,
suffers a debilitating injury - to his
heart as well as his body. While recu
perating (and contemplating suicide),
Roy befriends a young immigrant girl,
Alexandria (Catinca Untaru) whose
imagination he fuels with an epic tale
of the Black Bandit and his venge
ful mission to slay the evil Governor
Odious. Tarsem has created a fantasy
world evocative of El Togo, Alejandro
Jodorowsky's much stranger, more
remarkable cult classic, yet Eastern
mysticism and stunning desert cinema
tography don’t a complete film make.
The Falls simple fable lacks the alle
gorical or applicable depth to increase
the worth of its atypical imagery.
FAT ALBERT (PG) Fat Albert (played
by “SNL“ and former “All That" regular
Kenan Thompson), Mushmouth, Rudy,
Bill, Dumb Donald, Weird Harold and
Bucky are unleashed from their limbo
like television prison to solve problems
in the real world and meet creator Bill
Cosby in the process. Fat Albert seeks
the same time-traveling mojo that
worked so successfully for the Bradys,
yet taking Fat Albert and the Cosby
Kids out of the junkyard might also
remove their ghettoized poignancy.
THE FAT SPY (NR) 1966. This
B-movie is a musical comedy directed
by Joeseph Cates and starring Jane
Mansfield. On an island off the coast of
Florida (which may or may not contain
the fountain of youth), the cazy cast,
including a band called The W 'd Ones,
engages in a nutty scavenger hi nt.
FIREHOUSE DCG (PG) Hollywood's
top canine, Rexxx, gets lost and winds
up in the care of a firehouse run by
Connor Fahey (Bruce Greenwood)
and his son, Shane (Josh Hutcherson,
Bridge to Terabithia). Hopefully,
successful television vet Todd
Holland (“Malcolm in the Middle,"
“Wonderfalls," “My So-Called Life")
can do something with this cringe-
inducing material.
THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM
(PG-13) Jackie Chan and Jet Li’s first
on-screen pairing is the only excit
ing aspect of the listless Forbidden
Kingdom. Modern American teen,
Jason Tripitikas (Michael Angarano),
gets transported to ancient China
when he discovers a magical staff in
a pawn shop. The fighting sequences
are well-choreographed Crouching
Tiger knockoffs at which Li could excel
blindfolded, and the 54-year-old Chan
retains his comic charm. However,
every scene than doesn't involve fight
ing is poorly paced and blandly shot.
The silly story has potential; this family
friendly chopsocky flick would have
been a perfect English-language debut
for Kung Fu Hustlds Stephen Chow.
GET SMART (PG-13) “Get Smart,"
the television hit that ran from 1965
to 1970, was Mel Brooks’ and Buck
Henry’s answer to James Bond. In
2008, a year that will see a new 007
come November, Steve Carell comfort
ably steps into the shoephone of the
late, irreplaceable Don Adams in an
inoffensive, slightly boring big-screen
adaptation, the series’ second (1980’s
The Nude Bomb). The new Get Smart
enjoys some of the best TV-to-big
screen casting in some time. Carell is
sublime as always. Alan Arkin's gruff,
dry Chief does Edward Platt proud. I'm
not as sold on Anne Hathaway as Roger
Ebert, but her 99 is adequate. Dwayne
Johnson's Agent 23 is a suave new
addition, and love, in the form of swell
casting, is shown to memorable sup
porting characters Larabee, Siegfried,
Starker. Hymie, and Agent 13. With
the perfect cast in place, all Get Smart
needed was a good pair of writers. I
hear Brcoks and Henry are still alive;
even at over 80 and almost 80, the duo
would be better than the hacks that
wrote Failure to Launch. Get Smart isn't
stupid, but it misses by that much.
HANCOCK (PG-13) Will Smith is
Hancock, an apathetic, alcoholic super
hero that the public does not like very
much as he seems to cause more dam
age than his protection is worth. But
a public relations professional (Jason
Bateman) sees the potential in Hancock
and decides to make over his biggest
client's public persona. Director Peter
Berg is a solid, versatile talent, but if
he can’t generate his first blockbuster
out of the can’t-miss Will Smith (dude
hasn't had a flop since the last millen
nium), it might be time to hang up his
big movie shoes. With Chari ize Theron.
THE HAPPENING (R) The Happening
sheds the pounds of pretention
Shyamalan's films have been gaining
and harnesses the power of corny dia
logue and silly acting to nostalgically
travel back to the sci-fi silliness of the
1950s while playing in the backyard of
those pissed off nature movies that so
intrigued the ‘70s. Hints of a misan
thropic Walden and War oi the Worlds
mingle with some seriously R-rated,
non-gory scares in a rare horror movie
for adults.
HORTON HEARS A WHO! (G) The
1954 children’s classic about Horton
the elephant (v. Jim Carrey), whose
giant ears allow him to communicate
with the tiny speck that is the town of
Whoville is one of the good doctor’s
most beloved tales, right behind Green
Eggs and Ham. The laughs in Horton
are never cheap or juvenile, yet they are
perfectly pitched for little ones' ears.
THE INCREDIBLE HULK (PG-13)
Unlike any other comic book movie,
Ang Lee composed his film using
panels like an actual comic book. The
Incredible Hulk improves upon its
predecessor, but not by the leaps and
bounds one would expect from the
proximity of the two films. Hulk (2003)
definitively remains the better film,
but The Incredible Hulk (200%) is the
better Hulk movie. The Green Goliath
looks more realistic, smashes more,
and has an opponent - Abomination,
worthy of the serious ass-kicking OI'
Green Genes is capable of dishing out.
Nonetheless, Marvel Studios' second
effort looks a little green next to the
nearly perlect Iron Man, a superhero
film to rival the genre’s masterpiece,
Spider-Man 2. The three X-Men
movies and Spider-Man 1 and 3 look
poorly next to Iron Man, and The
Incredible Hulk is easily on par with
those solid Marvel movies.
INDIANA JONES AND THE
KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL
SKULL (PG-13) Crystal Skull is a
cinematic rollercoaster ride that only
Steven Spielberg and George Lucas
could build, delivering the most con
stant amusement of the year.
KIT KITTREOGE; AN AMERICAN
GIRL (G) Young Kit Kittredge (Abigail
Breslin) has written a story of life
in the Great Depression and wants
Cincinnati’s major daily newspaper
to publish it. Three American Girl
movies, based on the popular line of
dolls, have already been made; they
all went straight to TV. I guess the
presence of Breslin, Stanley Tucci,
Joan Cusack, Chris O’Donnell, Julia
Ormond and Wallace Shawn means
more B.O. Should Marcia Gay Harden,
John Schneider, AnnaSophia Robb and
Molly Ringwald, all of whom starred
in previous American Girl movies, be
jealous?
KUNG FU PANDA (PG) Jack Black
fans may not be too pleased with
Kung Fu Panda, but I was. JB keeps
himself pretty well in check as the
out-of-shape panda, Po, who comes
off like “Lost"'s Hi/rley, a lovable couch
potato thrust into an unlikely hero's
role when his wildest dreams come
true. Dreamworks, the home of Shrek,
may just be milking the family film
cash cow again, but the awesomeness
of Kung Fu Panda ensures that you will
not care.
THE LOVE GURU (PG-13) Six years
have passed since Mike Myers actea
in a comedy he wrote, but as The Love
Guru reminds, the man who gave the
world Wayne Campbell and Dr. Evil is
still a hell of a funny guy so long as
you can laugh at barn-broad charac
ters, smartly sophomoric wordplay and
silly visual gaggery. Though born in
America, Guru Pitka (Myers) grew up
in India under the tutelage of a cross
eyed guru (Ben Kingsley). Wishing to
become the next Deepak Chopra (a
good friend of Myers), Pitka takes his
acronyms, bumper sticker advice and
self-help books, to Canada to solve the
romantic woes of hockey star Darren
Roanoke (Romany Malco), whose wife,
Prudence (Meagan Good), has taken
up with rival goalie Jacque “The Coq"
Grande (Justin Timberlake). Pitka is a
funnier, more talented character than
the popular, one-note Powers. The guru
sings, dances and plays Sitar versions
of “9 to 5" and “Space Cowboy." The
Love Guru may not be his best work,
but it at least earns a passing mark.
MADE OF HONOR (PG-13) Formula
and predictability are kind of the hall
marks of romantic comedy. Made oi
Honor camty plays on the feminine
ideal that the love of a good woman .
ca^ change the most caddish man,
while indulging in juvenile visual
sex gags and a demonstrable lack of
subtlety. The romcom is also distress
ingly unfunny, which is the biggest
deal breaker of all.
ON GOLDEN POND (PG) 1981. „
Henry Fonda finally won an Oscar
for his portrayal of Norman Thayer, a
retired professor staying on Golden
Pond with his wife, Ethel (Katharine
Hepburn, who also won an Oscar).
Fonda's real-life daughter, Jane, picked
up her sixth nomination for playing
Norman's daughter, Chelsea, who
leaves her fiance’s son with her elderly
parents while traveling to Europe with
her boyfriend (Dabney Coleman). A
pleasant, well-acted film that confirms
its stage origins, On Golden Pond
benefited greatly from the goodwill
generated by its aging leads. The
film was nominated for 10 Academy
Awards, including Best Picture and
Best Director.
THE RUINS (R) Based on the what
Stephen King has rightly called the
scariest book of the new century, The
Ruins is an exhaustingly tense trek
into the Mexican jungle with four typi
cal American college kids in search
of an ancient Mayan ruin where an
unexplainable evil patiently waits to
devour them. The Ruins beneficially
lacks the over-stylization of the new
Texas Chainsaw Massacre or the casual
sadism of torture porn; the film offs
its characters as brutally as the novel.
MOVIE LISTINGS
Theater schedules often change after our deadline. Please call ahead.
ACC LIBRARY (706-613-3650)
On Golden Pond (PG) 2:00 (Th. 7/3)
Ten Canoes (NR) 7:00 (Th. 7/3)
BifCHWOOD (706-546-1011)
Alvin and the Chipmunks (PG) 10:00 a.m. (Tu. 7/8
& Th. 7/10)
The Ant Bully (PG) 10:00 a.m. (Th. 7/3)
Fat Albert (PG) 10:00 a.m. (Tu. 7/8 & Th. 7/10)
Firehouse Dog (PG) 10:00 a.m. (Th. 7/3)
Get Smart (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7:20, 9:50
Hancock (PG-13) 12:00, 12:45, 2:30, 3:15, 5:00,
5:45, 7:30, 8:15, 10:00 (addT time F. 7/4-Sa. 7/5:
10:30)
The Incredible Hulk (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
(PG-13) 1:05, 4:10, 7:05, 9:55
Kit Kittredge: An American Girt (G) 12:40, 2:55,
5:10, 7:25, 9:40
Kung Fu Panda (PG) 12:25, 2:40, 4:55, 7:10, 9:25
WALL*E (PG) 11:45, 12:30, 2:15, 3:00, 4:45, 5:30,
7:15, 8:00, 9:45
Wanted (R) 12:35. 1:30, 3:10, 4:20, 5:40, 6:55, 8:15,
9:30
CARMINE 12 (706-354-0016)
Get Smart (PG-13) 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 9:50
Hancock (PG-13) 1:00, 1:45, 3:15, 4:30, 5:30, 5:45,
7:00, 7:45. 8:00, 9:30, 10:00, 10:10
The Happening (R) 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 1C:00
The Incredible Hulk (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
(PG-13) 1:00
Kit Kittredge: An American Girt (G) 1:00, 3:15, 5:30,
7:45, 10:00
Kung Fu Panda (PG) 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:45
The Love Guru (PG-13) 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40
WALL«E (PG) 1:00, 1:30, 3:20, 4:15, 7:00, 9:30
Wanted (R) 1:15, 4:15, 7:00, 7:30. 9:30, 10:00
CINE (706-353-3343)
The Big Lebowski (R) midnight (Th. 7/3)
The Fall (R) 4:30, 7:30, 9:45
Then She Found Me (R) 4:15, 7:15, 9:30
FLICKER THEATRE & BAR (70C-546-0039)
The Fat Spy (NR) 8:30 (M. 7/7)
GEORGIA SQUARE 5 (706-548-3426)
College Road Trip (G) 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:30, 9:35
The Forbidden Kingdom (PG-13) 4:20, 9:40
Horton Hears a Who! (G) 1:20, 7:20
Made of Honor (PG-13) 1:10 4:10 7:10 9:45
Speed Racer (PG) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:55
What Happens in Vcgys... (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7:15,
9:50
HWY 17 DRIVE-IN THEATERS (706-213-7693)
Get Smart (PG-13) 9:00
What Happens in Vegas... (PG-13) 9:00
TATE CENTER THEATER (706-542-6396)
The Ruins (R) 8:00, 10:00 (M. 7/7 & W. 7/9)
Run, Fatboy, Run (PG-13) 8:00, 10:00 (W. 7/2)
but wiih less gleeful zest than Hostel.
Dotted with lots of little horrors (a bro
ken back, amputation; self-surgery and
more), The Ruins adds up to one big.
bad horror flick.
RUN, FATBOY, RUN (PG-13) Simon
Pegg may be the funniest Englishman
not named Ricky Gervais Clueless,
slightly overweight Dennis is another
of the “so lame he’s cool" protagonists
in which Pegg specializes, and his
abject uselessness may well make him
the lamest. Five years ago, Dennis left
his pregnant fianc6, Libby (Thandie
Newton), on their wedding day. Dennis
still hasn’t grown up, but the entrance
of new beau Whit (Hank Azaria) forces
Dennis to prfive he has changed. Thus,
he decides to run in a charity marathon
Seems logical, right? Written by Pegg
and Michael Ian Black, Run, Fatboy,
Run has a subtle, steady, British hilarity
about it.
SPEED RACER (PG) This big-screen
update of the '60s cult cartoon has
been positioning itself as the sum
mer's first family film, but it's doubtful
anyone but the little brother obsessed
with Matchbox cars and poo-tossing
monkeys will enjoy it. The eye-gasm
of candy-colored, 7?0/>-inspired racing
environments are blistering original,
but I wasn’t sure what I was watching
half of the time. The mix of low octane
plot movement and high octane racing
never clicks. No, Speed Racer, no.
TEN CANOES (NR) 2006. Director
Rolf de Heer and the people of
Ramingining tell a story of wrong love,
too many wives, sorcery, one big belly,
and a spear in the wrong man. When a
young aborigine falls in love with one
of the wives of his older brother, the
older aborigine narrates a cautionary
tale about a much earlier time. Winner
of six Australian Film Institute Awards,
including Best Film, Best Director and
Best Original Screenplay, and the Un
Certain Regard Special Jury Prize at
Cannes.
THEN SHE FOUND ME (R) Helen
Hunt does nothing terribly wrong in
her directorial debut. She shows a
nice sense of comedic and dramatic
pacing, especially considering how
gloomy the film gets. If only April
Epner, the 39-year-old elementary
schoolteacher Hunt brings to life from
Elinor Lippman's novel, weren’t such
a grating, unsympathetic woman Then
She Found Me might be more easily
received.
WALL«E (PG) See Movie Pick.
WANTED (R) Wanted is the greatest
summer action movie since Terminator
2. Saying I was blown away may sound
clich6, but just because it’s a clich6
doesn't make it not true. Action fans
are delivered from the drudgery of the
common stunt by the comic book-
inspired, Harry Potter-metis-Fight
Club fantasy of anti-hero, Wesley
Gibson (James McAvoy). Wesley
leaves the evil and boring vagary of
cubicle life for the magical world of
bullet-curving assassin-dom when
the Fraternity, a thousand-year-old
guild led by Sloan (Morgan Freeman)
and marketed by the beautiful Fox
(Angelina Jolie), comes to call. Director
Bekmambetov is a foreign filmmaking
rock star waiting to explode in America,
and his breakthrough picture pos
sesses all the loud, brash theatrics to
ensure his success.
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS...
(PG-13) How funny you find Vegas
will depend greatly on how well you
tolerate selfishness in others and how
entertaining/cute you find the two
mismatched stars. Kutcher spends
much of the film being nauseatingly
obnoxiou:. Diaz shows little of her own
comic spark. Corddry sup^ies a few
insufficient, idiotic laughs. Like the ads
say, What Happens in Vegas... should
stay in Vegas.
Drew Wheeler
NEWS & FEATURES I CALENDAR I MOVIES I A&E I MUSIC I COMICS & ADVICE I CLASSIFIEDS
20 FLAGPOLE.COM JULY 2,2008