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MATTERS OF THE HEART AND LOINS
I love going out and having a good time,
but I have trouble meeting girls my own age
(28). I'm kind of ready to actually have a
meaningful relationship, but I'm just not sure
I where I could meet a girl that's in the same
place. Any suggestions?
Too Old for Athens
If I had a nickel for every time I heard
this complaint, TOFA, I would be typing this
column from a sidewalk cafe some
where warm and far away, with
a fancy coffee drink in one
hand and a fresh pastry
in the other. Alas, I do
not get paid for each
and every complaint,
so I'm holed up on my
couch with a lukewarm
cup of Eight 0' Clock
bean and a big dog.
There is no magic
answer, TOFA, but I
will tell you what I
tell everybody else:
you are not alone, and
you are not by any stretch
too old. You could try
personals (a brief glimpse at CraigsList yields
at least 10 women with posted photos who
are in their 20s and "looking for something
real"), take a class, volunteer, go to wine and
beer tastings, art shows, concerts and hound
your friends to introduce you to their single
friends. Holiday party season is upon us, and
that should provide ample opportunity to
meet people who don't get out every weekend
The only thing you can do is put yourself out
there and be honest and open to whatever
possibilities may come your way.
There is a new girl in my life, and when we
first started dating I was happier than I had
been in a long time. It's hard to explain, but
I was pretty torn up after my last girlfriend
and I v/ent our separate ways. Now, I am
perfectly content and my friends all say
that I've returned to the old me; aside
from the fact that they say we flirt so
much it's sickening to be in the same
room... Anyway, if life was perfect I
wouldn't have to be asking a com
plete stranger for advice.
My problem comes from my
ex-girlfriend. When we broke up
she wouldn't even speak to me,
wouldn't return my calls, and
I swear sometimes she would
flirt around me just to upset
me. After a couple of months,
my current girl and I started
dating; I kept everything pretty
quiet because I didn't want
to deal with the drama that
I knew would ensue. My ex has now realized
there is a new lady in my life—we work in the
same office, so she would have to be oblivious
not to—and has proceeded to make herself
my shadow. She even went to our boss and
requested to have the same days off as me!
I'm glad she's speaking to me again because I
always wanted to stay friends, but every time
I try to go out with my girlfriend she's calling
me, wanting to hang out, and I feel obligated
to see her. My girlfriend called me yesterday to
tell me that she wasn't sure I had sufficiently
moved on to be dating another girl. What do
I do? I'm caught between two women and I'm
not pleasing either—all I wanted to do was be
the nice guy! I don't want to lose my girlfriend;
I really do love her, but I don't want to lose an
old friend either. Is there a way for me to make
everybody happy?
Torn and Confused
I don't know about everybody else, TC,
but you can make me happy by cutting the
bullshit. You might be convincing yourself
of your nice-guy martyrdom, TC. but I'm not
buying it. You're trying to have it both ways,
and it's not working. Come on!! This is
the kind of crap that women usually
pull, TC. Your new lady is right. You
have to make a choice. Your
ex is your ex for a reason:
it didn't work because it
wasn't right. And now after
punishing you for months,
suddenly she wants to be all
buddy-buddy again? Gimme
a break! And why the hell do
you feel obligated to see her?!
Do you really like the new one
or not? If you do, you need
to tell your ex to get lost.
You can't just keep one wait
ing in the wings in case it
doesn't work out with bachelorette number
two. You're playing games and allowing your
ex to manipulate the situation. If you don't
want to grow the fuck up then go back to your
ex. She's obviously a goddamn child, too.
This new guy I am dating is super sweet
and I think I’m falling for him. We met through
mutual friends and he lives in another town,
but we see each other pretty often. The prob
lem is that I just had a birthday and he bought
me some pretty, lacy underthings. I know this
sounds great, but it really isn't my style. I am
and always have been a white cotton panties
and wife-beater type of girl. I am a proud tom
boy and don't appreciate him trying to change
me. When I opened the present, I was very sur
prised and a little bit mad, but I think I faked
it pretty well. I oohed and aahed and said
thanks and then shoved them in the back
of a drawer as soon as he left. I'm kind
of mad because I feel like he's trying to
change me, but I really do think he's
awesome, otherwise, and I don't
know if it's worth fighting over.
What do you think?
Not Girly
Just because he chose
to buy you something lacy
doesn't mean he wants you
to stop being a tomboy, NG.
In fact, he probably finds
your tomboyishness attractive or
he wouldn't be dating you in the
first place, right? As long as he isn't
nagging you to change your whole style and
way of life, I would look upon his gift as both
a compliment (you are hot and feminine and
would look awesome in lacy underthings) and
a fantasy (I really want to see you in the roll
of lace-clad sex kitten because it contradicts
what people surely expect of you and would
be our little secret). Unless he is giving you
othe r indications that he is trying to change
you, NG (in which case show him the door),
I would indulge him a little and see how it
works out. You may find that you like that lin
gerie in spite of yourself.
Jyl Inov
Oneta 1
'SSS' Briggs Carney
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