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Some releases may not be showing locally this week.
BEDTIME STORIES (PG)Adam
Sandler stars as a guy living through
the bedtime stories he's telling his
niece and nephew. Director Adam
Shankman scored big. critically and
commercially with Hairspray, Bedtime
Stories looks more like his awful
crowd-pleasers Bringing Down the
House, The Pad tier anti Cheaper by
the Dozen 2.
BIGGER, STRONGER, FASTER
(PG-13) Director Chris Bell explores
America’s obsession with winning at
all costs by following his two brother’s
descent into the steroid subculture.
Strangely enough, Bigger, Stronger,
Faster isn't the anti-steroid polemic you
might expect; you wouldn't be crazy
to actually describe the doc as pro
steroids. Nominated for the Grand Jury
Prize at the Sundance Film Festival
and winner of a Special Mention at the
Karlovy Vary Fresh Films Fest. Part of
the ACC Library's iFilms series.
BOLT (PG) The sharply animated,
directed and written flick is the closest
Disney has gotten to achieving Pixar-
like quality, possibly due to the pres
ence of Pixar founder John Lasseter as
executive producer and Cars writer Dan
Fogelman.
BRIDE WARS (PG) Lifelong best
friends Liv and Emma (Hudson and
Hathaway) have dreamed of June wed
dings at the Plaza since they were little
girls. When their boyfriends propose,
the duo begins preparations. But when
New York's hottest wedding planner,
Marion St. Claire (Candace Bergen),
screws up and books the ceremonies
on the same day, Liv and Emmals
friendship turns to bitter rivalry.
Potential brides of every shape and size
will gladly go to battle over these Wars.
CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC
(PG) Winter movie blues got you
down? More PG-rated chick Ut to the
rescue! Out-of-control fashionisla
Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher)
gets a job as an advice columnist for
a financial magazine, where she meets
potential love interest in Luke Brandon
(Hugh Dancy). Muriel's Wedding direc
tor P.J. Hogan helms this adaptation of
the Sophie Kinsella bestseller. With a
whole slew of familiar faces, including
Joan Cusack, John Goodman, Kristen
Scott Thomas and Lynn Redgrave.
CORALINE (PG) Coraline may just
be next year's Best Animated Feature
Oscar. The filmed adaptation of the
young adult novel by Neil Gaiman
(Sandman, Stardust) virtually adds a
third sense to the movtegoing experi
ence. A visual, sonic marvel, Coraline,
brought to life from real stuff (puppets
and miniature trees and toy trains), has
a tactile dimension. Every object, every
surface has a texture of which CG can
only dream. Wonderful new 3D tech
nology reinforces the actual existence
of the denizens of Coraline's fantastical
adventure. The 3D ably amps up the
film's more startling moments, but it’s
nothing a tough youngster can’t handle
and enjoy.
DUPLICITY (PG-13) Michael
Claytoris Oscar-nominated writer-
director, Tony Gilroy, returns to thrill
and confuse with this caper comedy
about two former spies (the extremely
photogenic duo of Julia Roberts and
Ciive Owen) scheming to scam two
rival executives (Tom Wilkinson and
Paul Giamatti) out of $40 million. I’m
distressed that my desire to see this
movie is more fueled by the lingering
appeal of Roberts and Owen than the
unconvincing trailer that's less charm
ing than it thinks it is.
E.T. (PG) 1982. E T. hails from the
good old days, when Steven Spielberg
had a heart to accompany his storytell
ing prowess. Written by Harrison Ford's
ex, Melissa Mathison, the award
winning film boasts the most touching
score to be composed by ihunderous
Spielberg familiar John Williams.
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
(PG-13) 2006. Christopher Guest's
mockumentaries aren’t getting any fun
nier. Consideration is chortle-worthy,
not gut-busting. Filming an atrocious
Southern-set tragedy, Home for Purim,
about a dying Jewish matriarch and
her estranged daughter, three actors
(Catherine O'Hara, Harry Shearer and
Parker Posey) contract undeserved
Oscar fever. If you’ve worn out your
DVDs of Guffman and Best in Show,
you’ll enjoy iL Guest virgins won’t see
what all the fuss is qbout,
FRIDAY THE 13th (R) Friday the
13th, version 2009, kicks off with a
quick expository sprint through the
origins of monstrous Jason Voorhees
(Derek Mears). Years later, a new batch
of disposable teens arrives at Camp
Crystal Lake looking for pot and find
ing Jason's wrath. Friday the 13th is
no holiday to be celebrated by all. but
for the horror flock, it's like an early
Christmas.
FUNNY GIRL (G) 1968. This biopic
set to music gave Barbara Streisand
an Oscar-winning film dehut as come
dienne Fanny Brice. The film charts
Brice's entertainment course, including
her time with the Ziegfield Follies, and
her private life, most notably a failed
first marriage to Nick Arnstein (Omar
Sharif). Followed by the sequel Funny
Lady. Interestingly, first-time winner
Babs had to share her Oscar with
Katharine Hepburn, already the proud
owner of two golden statues with two
more on the way.
THE GODFATHER (R) 1972. Is The
Godfather the greatest American film of
all time? Some would say yes. Still, no
doubts exist as to the quality of Francis
• Ford Coppola’s adaptation of Mario
Puzo's purely pulpy novel. Brando was
good, but Al Pacino got robbed of an
Academy Award. (He wasn't even nomi
nated for Best Actor; he got stuck in the
supporting category with Jimmy Caa.n
and Bobby Duvall.)
GOLDFINGER (PG) 1964. This third
film in the James Bond franchise
is widely regarded as the best. 007
(Sean Connery) is hot on the trail of
Auric Goldfinger, whose dastardly
plan includes contaminating Fort
Knox. All of the series’ conventions
(Q, Moneypenny, gadgets, gimmicky
henchmen, etc.) are established in this
movie. Director Guy Hamilton is one of
the festival's special guests. (That is so
frigging awesome!)
GRAN TORINO (R) A retired Ford
employee and Korean War vet, Walt
Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) still lives in
the same Michigan neighborhood in
which he and his now deceased wife,
Dorothy, raised two ungrateful sons.
But the old neighborhood has changed.
Immigrants have invaded Walt’s shores.
The film paints a poignant portrait of
entrenched racial hatred overcome by
human kindness and interaction. Walt’s
transformation proves you can teach
an old dog new tricks. Gran Torino
proves Eastwood is already a master
of them ail.
HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
(PG-13) Based*on the self-help/ chick-
lit bestseller by Greg Behrendt (a “Sex
and the City* story editor) and Liz
Tucillo, He's Just Not That Into You is
too long, cinematographically desolate,
and fashioned solely out of gender-
defined traits and hang-ups. A bunch
of Baltimoreans, representing every
white, hetero demographic, navigate
the stormy jvaters of loVe.
I LOVE YOU, MAN (R) Funny buds
Paul Rudd and Jason Segel team up
for a bromantic comedy about a friend
less nice guy. Peter Klaven (Rudd),
who finds himself in immediate need
of a best friend after getting engaged
Serendipitously, charming slacker
Sydney Fife wanders into the open
house Peter is hosting. They hit it off,
but will Sydney mesh with Peter's fian
cee (Rashida Jones of “The Office’)?
With Jaime Pressly, Jon Favreau, Andy
Samberg, J.K. Simmons, Jane Curtin
and several “State* vets.
THE INCREDIBLES (PG) 2004.
Pixar’s greatest achievement until
this past summer’s WALL»E, The
incredibles mixes Watchmen post
superhero world with Fantastic Four’s
dysfunctional family dynamics and
writer-director Brad Bird (The Iron
Giant anti Ftatatouille) lets the fireworks
fly. Mr. Incredible (v. Craig T. Nelson)
and fam must battle the evil Syndrome
, (v. Jason Lee).
INKHEART (PG) Inkheartcan claim
kinship to 1980s kid-venture, The
Neverending Story. Mortimer “Mo*
Folchart (Brendan Fraser, likable as
usual but miscast), a Silvertongue
(whatever he reads comes to life),
spends his days searching for a rare
copy of Inkheart the novel into which
his wife was sucked in exchange for the
selfish hero Dustfinger (Paul Bettany)
and the evil Capricorn (Andy Serkis,
The Lord of the Ringd Gollum) and his
henchmen. Hopefully, viewers will be
inspired to read the sequel, Inkspell,
before they see it.
JONAS BROTHERS: THE 3D
CONCERT EXPERIENCE (G) The
Jonas Brothers' new 3D Experience is
everything a tweenage fanatic would
want and expect. If you’r^not already
a Jo Bro fan (or the parent of one), the
movie, 3D or not, won’t hold your inter
est for very long. The songs are catchy
• but instantly forgettable. The behind-
the-scenes footage is very staged and
unrevealing.
KING KONG (NR) 1933. No doubt
Peter Jackson’s update of the Great
Ape’s vacation in the Big Apple is
stunning (and long), but missing is
the 1933 classic’s stop-motion heart,
that puppet with moving fur. A tropical
expedition discovers a giant gorilla
and, with typical American entrepre
neurial gusto, sees dollar signs. Kong
just sees blonde Ann Darrow (Fay
Wray) and an opportunity to see New
York from the top of the Empire State
Building. The rest, like King Kong, is
cinematic history.
A KNOWING (PG-13) I don't know
that even Dark City director Alex
Proyas can make anything interest
ing out of a Nicolas Cage flick. The
National Treasure stars as teacher Ted
Myles who comes to believe his family
will play an important role in upcoming
events after a time capsule unearthed
at his son's elementary school reveals
some chilling predictions about natural
disasters. I had doubts about Proyas’
I, Robot based on the trailers, and it
turned out to be pretty good. (Still.
Nicolas Cage is no Will Smith.) With
Rose Byrne (FX’s ‘Damages’).
THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
(R) See Movie Pick.
MOVIE LISTINGS
Theater schedules often change after our deadline. Please call ahead.
ACC LIBRARY (706-613-3650)
Bigger, Stronger, Faster (PG-13) 7:00 (Th. 3/19)
The Incredibles (PG) 3:00 (Tu. 3/24)
Unnatural Causes (NR) 3:00 (Su. 3/22)
BEICHWOOD (706-546-1011)
Oue to production deadlines, Beechwood movie times are
only accurate through March 19. Visit www Flagpole.com for
updated times *
Confessions of a Shopaholic (PG) 4:05, 7:00, 9:40
(no 7:00 or 9:40 shows W. 3/18)
Coraline 3-D (PG) 4:30, 9:35
He's Just Not That Into You (PG-13) 4:00, 7:00, 9:50
Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (G) 7:35
Last House on the Left (R) 4:30, 7:10, 9:45
Madea Goes to Jail (PG-13) 4:55, 7:20, 9:50
Metropolitan Opera: Madama Butterfly (NR) 7:00
(W. 3/18)
Miss March (R) 5:10, 7:25, 9:45
Race to Witch Mountain (PG) 4:55, 7:20, 9:40
Slumdog Millionaire (R) 4:20, 7:05, 9:40
Taken (PG-13) 5:05, 7:15, 9:30
Watchmen (R) 4:00, 5:00, 7:30, 8:30
CARMINE 12 (706-354-0016)
hue to production deadlines, Carmike movie times are only
accurate through March 19. Visit www.Flagpole.com for
updated times.
Coraline 3-D (PG) 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:00
Friday the 13th (R) 7:35,10:00
Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (G) 1:15,
•3:20, 5:25
Last House on the Left (R) 1:30, 4:20, 7:15, 9:45
Madea Goes to Jail (PG-13) 1:30, 4:15, 7:00, 9:30
Miss March (R) 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:35, 9:45
Paul Blart: Mall Cop (PG) 12:15, 2:40, 5:05
Race to Witch Mountain (PG) 12:30, 1:00, 2:50,
3:20, 5:10, 5:40, 7:30, 8:00, 9:50
Slumdog Millionaire (R) 1:20, 4:20, 7:00, 9:35
Street Fighter. The Legend of Chun-Li (PG-13) 7:30,
9:45
Taken (PG-13) 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40
Watchmen (R) 12:00, 1:00, 3:30, 4:30, 7:00, 8:00,
10:25
CINE (706-353-3343)
Gran Torino (R) 4:30, 9:30 (new times F. 3/20: 4:45)
Magenta's Caress (NR) 9:00 (M. 3/23)
Milk (R) 4:15, 7:00, 9:45 (ends Th. 3/19)
Two Lovers (R) 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 (add'l time Sa.
3/21-Su. 3/22: 2:00) (no 9:30 show Su. 3/22)
(starts F. 3/20)
Waltz with Bashir (R) 7:30 (ends Th. 3/19)
The Wrestler (R) 7:15, 9:45 (add'l time Sa. 3/21-Su.
3/22: 2:15) (no 9:45 show Su. 3/22) (starts F. 3/20)
GEORGIA SQUARE 5 (706-548-3426)
Due to production deadlines, Georgia Square Five movie
times are only accurate through March 19. Visit www.
Flagpole.com for updated times. '
Bedtime Stories (PG) 5:25, 7:45, 10:05
Bolt (PG) 5:20
Bride Wars (PG) 7:40, 10:00
Inkheart (PG) 7:05
Twilight (PG-13) 4:05, 9:55
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (R) 5:15, 7:25, 9:50
Uninvited (PG-13) 5:20, 7:30, 9:45
HtfY 17 DRIVE-IN THEATERS (706-213-7693)
Twilight (PG-13) 7:00 (F. 3/20-Su. 3/22)
TATE CENTER THEATER (706-542-6396)
Milk (R) 3:00, 6:00, 9:00 (F. 3/20-Su. 3/22)
Philadelphia (PG-13) 8:00 (Th. 3/19)
When a Woman Ascends the Stairs (NR) 6:00 (W.
3/18)
UGA MAIN LIBRARY (706-542-1641)
When the Levees Broke (NR) 6:00 (F. 3/20)
I need a seven-letter word for "the state of being aware."
MADEA GOES TO JAIL (PG-13) The
rewards of a Tyler Perry movie decrease
with every formulaic play-to-film since
his cinematic highwater mark. Why Did
I Get Married? Diary of a Mad Black
Women pretty much laid out his never-
changing Madea manifesto. Hook
them with the hilariously broad hijinks
of the mad matriarch (Tyler Perry in
drag) before force-feeding faith-based
plots best left to Billy Graham's movie
ministry. In Madea Goes to Jail, Madea
doesn't actually go to jail until the film’s
final 30 minutes. I'm beginning to fear
Perry the filmmaker peaked well before
his films’ popularity.
MAGENTA’S CARESS (NR) The title
of this new film from local independent
filmmaker William C. Goss comes from
the name of the cabaret opened by
protagonist Robbie Dean. •
METROPOLITAN OPERA:
MADAMA BUTTERFLY (NR)
Anthony Minghella's production of
the Puccini opera features Cristina
Gallardo-Domas in the title role oppo
site Marcello Giordani.
MILK (R) Thirty years have passed
since pioneering gay rights activist
Harvey Milk (Sean Penn) was assas
sinated by fellow San Francisco city
supervisor Dan White (Josh Brolin),
and the exceptional new film chroni
cling the last eight years of Milk’s
life, including its tragic end, begs the
question: How far have we come? It’s
an emotional wake-up slap delivered
with perfect performances and neces
sary style. An award-winning film
will always be an effective means
to increase recognition and achieve
validation in our nation of movie lov
ers. The film never apologizes for nor
sanitizes Milk's homosexuality. He was
here; he was queer; get over iL
MISS MARCH (R) Fans of dumb
comedies will enjoy Miss March, the
feature writing, directing and starring
debut of two of “The Whitest Kids
U’Know,* Zach Cregger and Trevor
Moore. People who enjoy well-made
movies without running jokes about
explosively loose bowels should steer
well clear. Two buddies, earnest Eugene
and horndog Tucker (Cregger and
Moore, not that the difference mat
ters much), scheme to travel across
the country—from South Carolina to
California—to the Playboy Mansion to
reclaim Eugene’s virginal high school
sweetheart, the titular Miss March.
PAUL BLART: MALL COP (PG) Paul
Blart: Mall Cop rings in the New Year
with mild, unobjectionable humor. The
beginning of the year usually suffers
through flicks much less funny and
much more painful than this. Paul
Blart: Mall Cop is as likable and funny
(more the former than the latter) as
its star
PHILADELPHIA (PG-13) 1993. When
Andrew Beckett (Academy Award-
winner Tom Hanks), a gay man with
AIDS, is fired by his conservative, big-
time law firm, he hires a homophobic
ambulance chaser, Joe Miller (Denzel
Washington), to represent him in his
wrongful dismissal suit. Winner of two
Oscars (Best Actor and Best Original
Song).
RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (PG)
See Movie Pick.
REAR WINDOW (PG) 1954. In Rear
Window, one of Alfred Hitchcock’s
all time classics—and my favorite of
Hitch's oeuvre—wheelchair-bound
photographer LB. “Jeff Jeffries
(Jimmy Stewart) thinks his across-the-
way neighbor (Raymond Burr of “Perry
Mason’ fame) is a murderer. Rear
Window is top-notch suspense with
dashes of comedy and commentary
on our voyeuristic society, which has
only gotten worse in the intervening
50 years, sprinkled throughout. With
Grace Kelly.
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (R) If
Charles Dickens had set any of his
littlest-orphan-makes-good epics
12 FLAGPOLE.COM • MARCH 18, 2009