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MAHERS OF THE HEART AND LOINS
I need to know if alcoholic, unambitious
and worthless men ever think about the hurt
ful things they do to people. I was married to
one of these people and he just "up and left"
the marriage. Our friends say he will never call
or write me because "he just doesn't have it
jn him." They say he thinks he's the grandest
of grand and he knows more than anyone. I
was married to the man for two years. I was
upset the whole time because of the drinking.
It seems that I wonder all of the time when he
will "see the light." He was my first love ever,
and I would like to know your thoughts on
someone of this stature. I never thought of him
as worthless. Others think of him os
worthless and the wrong one
for anyone to be married
to. I am a heartbroken
woman who doesn't
understand what her
friends are telling her.
I would like a stranger's
input to help me in the
healing process, so
if you could please
think about this
and let me know!!!
Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So, your friends are
telling you that he's great
and he really loves you? Or
that he's worthless? I'm confused. Honestly,
it doesn't matter what they are telling you.
You don't have to think ill of the man to know
that he is not husband material. Is he ever
going to see what an asshole he was? Who
knows? If you haven't had any indication yet
that he has seen the error of his ways, you
shouldn't hold your breath. Just be thankful
you only wasted a couple years and hold out
for somebody who doesn't
make you unhappy all the
time. Even if you are
heartbroken and hav
ing a hard time being
alone, you are much
more likely to find some
body to be happy with if
you aren't stuck in a relation
ship that isn't working.
I am in my 40s and
I have been divorced for
15 years. My son is 21
and lives with me but
is fairly self-sufficient.
I have a good job, good
friends and I am close to
my family. I have dated
men here and there, but
have yet to find a guy I
really want to spend time
with. Mostly, I'm fine. I would
rather be in a good relation
ship, but since I haven't had
one in forever it isn’t like I'm
falling apart without a man.
The other day I was eating a quick lunch
alone at a local deli. It was a beautiful day,
and I was sitting outside, and a couple walked
up, exchanged a few words that I never heard,
and she took off. The guy walked up and
started chatting me up. I asked him why he
would do that since he was obviously with
the woman who had just walked away, and he
claimed that they were just friends. He said
that he wanted to go out with me and that
she was "Swear to God, like my sister." I was
dubious. I continued to eat my lunch and kind
of laughed it off. He said he was completely •
serious, ran in and got a salad, and came back
out to sit with me. He pretty^ much talked at me
for about 10 minutes.
He was very funny, I admit, but it was like
he was trying to sell himself—very weird: He
asked for my number, and I said no. He told me
that he wanted me to call him and gave me his
number. You have to understand that the whole
time this was going on I did not take him seri
ously at all. I thought he was nice, and he was
handsome enough, but the situation was so
weird that I thought surely one of my friends
would popjiround the corner with a camera at
any minute. It didn’t happen.
He told me that he is my age, edu
cated, has a good job and doesn't
really get out much. He also
said he hasn't dated anyone
in a long time but he was
immediately interested in me
when he saw me. Now, I am
not by any means ugly, but
this is not a thing that I am
used to, so I am at a bit of a
loss. Is this guy crazy? Full of it?
Should I call him? If I do, do
you think he's going to be one
of those guys who calls every
five minutes? Because that
would make me crazy. I don't
know. He wosn't creepy at all, but the situation
was so unusual that I don't really know how to
respond. I was not put off by him, but I was
having a hard time taking it seriously, too. Am
I too cynical?
The woman did eventually come back, and
she was very nice and kind of laughing at him
and just said "hello" to me before asking him
if he was ready to go. Clearly she was cool with
it. I am at a loss. Help?
■ Call him. Block your number so he doesn't
bug you to death, but call him.. Get to know
him a bit and see what you think. If you
think you have good instincts, and
this guy didn't seem in any way
creepy, then maybe he really
is just socially awkward
and didn't know how to
approach you. The fact
that he has a very close
female friend is prob
ably a good sign, since
most super-creepy guys
don't have a normal
looking woman on their
arm at the local deli. It
seems like you have very
little to lose. Don't let him
know where you live or
anything at the begin
ning, but take it slow
and give him a chance
and see what happens. It
sounds like a John Cusack
movie in real life, and most
girls dream of living in one of those. Go rent
Say Anything, watch it by yourself when your
son isn't home so he doesn't roll his eyes at
you, and then call the guy for coffee or some
thing. And for the love of god, PLEASE keep
me posted. I am'so intrigued.
Jyl Inov
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