Newspaper Page Text
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THE ZINKHAN CASE
As I scan articles obsessively from the tragedies of Apr. 25
and grieve for the families, children and loved ones of all of
the victims, I find that a big part of this story has not been
discussed. Many in our community are trying to make sense of
what happened and looking for the reasons behind such sense
less bloodshed.
This was not a random act. When a man kills his wife and
innocent bystanders, it is about domestic violence. And domes
tic violence is ultimately about power and control.
Intimate partners in this country murdef approximately
three women every day. Just as it did here, it is a crime that
produces shock, horror and finally tremendous grief and anger.
If these killings were perpetrated by a single group with a
name, Al-Qaeda for instance, or a street gang,
the motivation behind the violence would be
clear, and we would be up in arms as a nation.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that
domestic homicides are any different. True,
there is no master list of members to which
abusers belong, but they do, as a group, have
similar motives and profiles. They may look,
talk and act just like us; hence our horror that
this person we thought we knew is capable of
murdering their one-tine soul-mate. However,
abusers' intimate relationships are very differ
ent than those they have with their friends,
neighbors and colleagues.
The vast majority of domestic violence
murderers are male. Fatality review studies in
Georgia found that between 2004 and 2008,
97 percent of the domestic violence homicides
studied were perpetrated by males.
Domestic violence that ends in a homicide is rarely a case
of the perpetrator "snapping." Typically, he has used many dif
ferent tactics to control his partner. When that power over her
is in danger of being lost, usually through her desire to leave
the relationship, taking her life is the ultimate control.
While I didn't know George Zinkhan, there were red flags
that this situation existed. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
reported on Apr. 30 that the lead investigator for the FBI,
Gregory Jones, indicated there was "significant information
about marital discord within the relationship," and that Marie
Bruce may have been about to file papers seeking a divorce. He
also indicated that Zinkhan exhibited "controlling-type behav
ior" around his wife.
MANY TYPES OF ABUSE
Normally, when most people think of domestic violence,
they think only of physical abuse. But abusers manifest power
and control in many different ways. Mary Ann Dutton, a profes
sor of psychiatry at Georgetown University and a clinical psy
chologist, defines domestic violence as "a pattern of behavior
in which one intimate partner uses physical violence, coercion,
threats, intimidation, isolation and emotional, sexual or eco
nomic abuse to control and change the behavior of the other
partner."
Although abusers don't train as a group, they all use similar
methods to exert control over their partners—techniques that
one would find in a torture manual:
• Physical Abuse: hitting, slapping, punching, pushing, shov
ing, pinching, biting and pulling hair. Can include physical
restraint, strangulation and assault with a deadly weapon.
• Sexual Abuse: forcing a partner to have sex without their
consent. Making them perform sexually in a way that the
partner doesn't want to, either with the abuser or others.
It is not uncommon for abusers to rape their partner after a
physical beating or emotional abuse.
• Emotional Abuse: undermining their partner's self-worth,
including name-calling, threats, belittling, criticizing in front
of others, and blaming, particularly blaming the intimate
partner of having an affair when that is not the case.
• Coercive Control: jealousy, possessiveness and rule-making.
Can include preventing the intimate partner from sleeping,
as well as threats to harm the children, other family mem
bers or pets.
• Isolation: restricting a partner's access to family members or
friends, financial data, medication, even food.
Abusers do whatever they think is necessary to gain and
maintain control over their partner. Physical abuse is often not
necessary when other means, such as threats, work just as well.
So, the intimate partner of an abusive person doesn't need to
have visible bruises or injuries to be in grave danger.
BLAMING .
Our inclination is to place the burden on the victim and to
question why she doesn't leave. But it is not always easy to
leave an abusive relationship—or any relationship, for that
matter. How many of us have stayed too long in a bad relation
ship? When you build a home, a life, a family, it can be hard to
break away. There are emotional and financial
reasons for staying. But clearly the most com
pelling reason to stay, when oo^'s partner is
violent or controlling, is that 75 percent of
women killed or severely assaulted by their
partners were in the act of leaving that rela
tionship when the assault occurred.
What is very evident here is that the bur
den and the blame need to be placed on the
abuser. Domestic violence is purposeful and
calculated. The non-violent partner is not at
fault.
Domestic violence is pervasive. One in
every four women will experience domestic
violence in her lifetime. But domestic vio
lence does not just impact women. It affects
children, family members, friends and inno
cent bystanders. Domestic violence knows no
human bounds. It does not discriminate by race, age, gender,
sexual orientation, religion, socioeconomic status, nationality
or culture. It can happen to anyone, anywhere. It happened
here.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
Let's not say that this was a lover's "quarrel" or a domestic
"dispute." Let's not say that this is a private matter; George
Zinkhan made this very public and very personal. He shattered
our community's sense of peace. He exposed an ugly reality
that we didn't want to believe could exist here in our beloved
town. Let's not relegate this tragedy to random violence or
yesterday's news.
Instead, let's educate ourselves about intimate partner vio
lence and take a stand that it will not be tolerated. Once we
recognize the warning signs of a controlling relationship, let's
help our loved ones and friends and coworkers know that they
have options. And because we have all been reminded that our
life here is precious and fragile, hold your loved ones close.
I didn't know George Zinkhan. Then again, maybe I did.
Nancy Hunter
Nancy Hunter is the President of SafeSolutions, Inc. and manager of the
Georgia Domestic Violence Benchbook, a free, comprehensive resource on
all aspects of domestic violence in Georgia.
- Resources
• Project Safe: 7C6-543-3331
• Statewide 24-hour hotline-. 1-800-33-HAVEN
(334-2836) - '
• Georgia Legal Services Program’s Athens office:
706-227-5362
• The Cottage (for incidents of sexual abuse and
children witnessing violence): 706-353-1912
UGA Office for Violence Prevention-. 706-542-7233
• UGA Police: 706-542-2200
• Georgia Domestic Violence Benchbook:
www.uga.edu/icje/DVBenchbook.html. For specific
information on abuser traits and indicators of
lethality, read Appendices A and B.
706-548-1188
www.rivermillsathens.com
199 Stone Mill Run • Next to Blind Pig & Campus
• He Partial lassies - rut ntrni Cettor, CluMwio
• Walk tt Class iBewntown • Free Water & Ejquoded Basic Cable
• 12 a 3 Bedreems *Q&-stte Naaagenent
HAPPY HOUR 3-9
$ 2 Domestics • s 3 Wells
Mondays:
ALL DAY HAPPY HOUR
Wednesdays:
s 3 SANGRIA
Thursdays:
Ladies' Night * s 2 Blue Moon
featuring
FAT
TIRE!
Smoothies
Available for Private Parties
IRarne
T
ieSJ
E
Reputation"
DINE IN • TAKE OUT • DELIVERY
706-549-0274
Major Credit Cards l Checks Accepted
Green Acres Shopping Center • 1935 Barnett Shoals Rd.
MAY 20,2009 ■ FLAGPOLE.COM 7