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BFN MOSTYN
BOBBY NETTLES. FULL CONTACT TRIVIA
Bobby Nettles is best known as the acerbic, witty one-man
show called Full Contact Trivia. Currently living in Athens, he
commutes all throughout North Georgia during the week to
host his well-honed trivia sessions, bringing with him a loyal
following—some have been playing with him for as many as
eight years—that usually packs to the gills whichever restau
rant or bar he happens to be working in. I spoke with Bobby
on a Sunday night after a raucous session at Allen's Bar &. Grill,
where one guy managed to fall asleep (or, to be more accurate,
pass out) despite being surrounded by a boisterous audience
and exceptionally loud speakers. "That takes talent," Bobby
said dryly.
Flagpole: How did you get into doing this?
Bobby Nettles: I had been working in food-and-beverage .
for probably 12 years or so and just got sick of it. Couldn't do
it anymore... I had done bartending and waiting, mostly, but*
started doing some managing... thought [it] was going to be
better and it was worse. Didn't make as much money, had to
work longer—just couldn't stand it. Poked around for a year—
FP: But I would think intellect is better measured by how
well you react to a completely new situation, not how much
information you can retain.
BN: I agree with that entirely... I say a lot of times on
the mic: you can tell the smart people by the wrong answers
more than.you can the right answers... when somebody hears
a question and doesn't know the answer and then you can see
from their answer how they start to whittle it down to some
thing, and they get it to something that's wrong but it's a
pretty goddamn good guess...you can go, "That's pretty fuckin'
good right there."
But you're absolutely right, I agree with that 100 percent.
And I've got some brilliant people that I know that are terrible
at trivia... a lot of doctors just are terrible... [but] lawyers
tend to be extremely good... [and] no offense, the women
aren't as good at trivia, and the reason women aren't as good
at trivia is that women are a lot more laid-back than men.
Women don't glom onto useless information like men do... it's
a little bit of neurosis, to be honest with you.
FP: How prevalent do you think cheating is in trivia?
BN: In Athens it's damn near a second language.
FP: Why is that?
BN: 'Cause they wanna win... and there's money. And they
might not have money. In Atlanta people have jobs. Here,
you're a college student, you're probably on a budget—even if
it's a decent budget from home, it's a budget.
FP: Do you ever get tired of doing trivia all the time?
BN: Ultimately, no... but there are times when, you know,
you've had a bad day. I threw my back out weight training. I
had a dog die. I broke up with a girl... fill in the blank, some
thing miserable. [But] you gotta go be the happy-happy-joy-
joy center of the party. And these people see you once a week,
so don't go in there all fuckin' mopey or pouty.
FP: So, is what I see up there onstage you, or is it a
persona?
BN: It's an alter ego... it was probably an alter ego long
before I even realized it was, and at some point I started to
acknowledge it was an alter ego and start to almost cultivate
it... so it is a character.
A lot of people want you to be the alter ego all the time,
'cause that's fun to them. But you can't be stompin' and spit-
tin' and cussin' around the fuckin' Kroger at three in the after
noon. It doesn't do anybody any good. And as cute as that
persona is to [laughs] strange girls, the other guy—me—-isn't
as cute to that particular girl. That's why I don't date anybody
from trivia...
FP: So, you think they're attracted to who you're not?
BN: Yeah, and if you're attracted to that guy, you've got
issues.
this was about '98... sold cars for a little while, drove a cab for
a little while, was a bouncer at a titty bar for a little while... a
place called Bikini Beach. Apparently, the girl I was dating told
a guy that was doing trivia in one of the Atlanta locations—
she's like, "My boyfriend's perfect for this... he'd be the best
trivia guy you've ever seen."
FP: Why would she say that?
BN: I don't know, because I'm not intimidated by any
thing... because I'm chatty and I'm articulate... I think fast on
my feet; I've always got some quip, comeback—some kind of
shit, you know?
FP: I don't think I've heard you stutter even once. Do you
have any dreams of having your voice heard in TV or movies?
BN: ...If somebody wants to come along and offer me a
buttload of money to do something, I'm certainly listening.
But right now this does quite well, and I'm in school to be a
teacher... I've done trivia for first-, second- and third-graders,
actually. I have a bunch of teachers that play trivia and were
like, "You should come do trivia for me!" and I was like, "It's
classroom time; it counts towards my degree, so sure. We'll do
a bunch of Hannah Montana questions, sure."
So, I have plans... but to stop doing this would be
retarded, because this actually does quite well and would
probably make me more money than teaching—probably past
masters level.
FP: How would you characterize your audience?
BN: It's hard to sneak one past my audience. When you're
dealing with my audience, if they're playing with me for any
length of time, they're doing so because they're being rewarded
for being intelligent.
FP: So, you think your stuff is some of the more high-brow
trivia in town?
BN: Oh, yeah—absolutely. And I'm unapologetic about say
ing that. Most trivias are.idiotic...
FP: So, you're making a living off of this.
BN: Yeah, this is all I do. I do some other DJ-ing stuff to
round out my income and I actually do a little personal train
ing, but this has been my sole source of income since I...
started doing it on. my own. But it's a hustle. So, I want some
thing [more stable]... I'm paying single-guy insurance, you
know—I'm not on anybody's plan.
Jeff Gore
ANALOGUE RECORDS PRESENTS "RIOT OF SPRING” featuring
DAVID BOWIE TRIBUTE SHOW
THE EMPTIES
HOSTS MONTY G AND KINKY C RETURN
FOR SUMMER FUN...GAMESHOW STYLE.
GET YOUR 5 PERSON FAMILY'" IE AM READY
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MAY 27,2009 • FtAGP0LE.C0M 31
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