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Ha ha! Oh, ha ha! That Congressmarftloun, he's something
else! A federal judge ruled last week that unless Congress
comes up with legislation to the contrary, the Lake Lanier
spigot is cut off for water going to Atlanta. This is a crisis
for Atlanta and the State of Georgia so severe that it unites
Georgia's whole Congressional delegation—Democrats and
Republicans, urban and rural—and calls on every ounce of
their political influence in Congress to keep Alabama and
Florida from muscling further in on the water that irrigates all
those suburban lawns and fuels Atlanta's sprawl, er, growth.
Our Congressman Cloun is going to be a big help in this
effort. Jim Galloway reports in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution
that as this storm cloud was gathering, Congressman Cloun
pulled a surprise parliamentary trick and tried to shut down
the House of Representatives, kind of like pulling the plug
on the projector in the middle of a movie: makes you pretty
popular. He's going to be a lot of help when all the Georgia
congressmen get together and plan out how they're going to
beg their colleagues to help
them out against the combined,
heavier weight of the Alabama
and Florida congressional
delegations.
But that's just Congressman
Cloun for you. The folks in
the 10th District love him. He
makes them laugh. He calls
the President Hitler and a
Communist and a Socialist, and they love it. He calls global
warming a scientific hoax, and they high-five him. He, a doc
tor without hospital affiliation, tells them that the health-care
plan proposed by President Obama will kill them, and they
laugh so hard they almost die.
The other congressmen better stuff Congressman Cloun back
into the little car until they get through lobbying their col
leagues for help in this matter. He might just squirt water on
the Speaker or set off a stink bomb in the Capitol cloakroom.
Such hilarious highjinks would get him on Fox News again,
but Congress in its irritation would probably turn off Atlanta's
water tomorrow. Shoot, nobody in the 10th District would give
a hoot. That's just our Congressman Cloun thumbing his nose
at the liberals. Who cares if Atlanta's got to buy bottled water?
Most of 'em prefer it, anyway.
Congressman Cloun has come up with a perfect formula
for getting himself re-elected: do stuff to grab attention. He
understands media. It doesn't matter why you're on TV, even if
they're calling you a maniac. People won't remember what they
said. They'll just know that the next time you come through
town, they're looking at a star, and star power gets you
elected. Brilliant!
Of course that means that he's kind of like the Wizard of Oz,
because up there in the Emerald City he doesn't really have any
more clout than a stuffed clown. His staff might be able to get
your Social Security problem straightened out, but anything
that requires tact and earning the respect of colleagues, rasp
berries to that!
Congressman Cloun can't carry water in Washington,
because he'd rather dump the bucket on somebody's head, for
the amusement of his own audience back home in the 10th
District, which of course includes Athens. No matter: he has
already raised a bunch of money for his re-election, and his
political future is as rosy as a fake nose. He doesn't care what
they think of him up there. They don't elect him; they only
vote on issues like water, and he just laughs at stuff like that.
Pete McCommons editor@flagpole.com
Congressman Cloun
has come np with
a perfect formula
for getting himself
re-elected.
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THIS WEEK’S ISSUE:
NEWS & FEATURES
City Dope 4
Athens News and Views
Will NBAF be built anywhere, in the end? One wonders nowadays...
Comment 7
Georgia Theatre Report
The Georgia Theatre owner tells us where things stand with his piece of our history.
ARTS & EVENTS
The Reader 9
Rough Mixes, Deep Cuts
A look at the new book from behind the board, The Daily Adventures ofMixerman.
Grub Notes 12
London Calling
The Royal Peasant delivers the most authentic English pub grub in town.
MUSIC
Jason Molina 15
With Beauty Comes Sorrow
The Magnolia Electric Co. songwriter finds inspiration in life’s darkest hours.
The Moaners Open for M. Ward 16
A Night of Skewed Traditionalists
The gritty blues of The Moaners complement M. Ward's more subdued croon.
A Night of Skewed Traditionalists
The gritty blues of The Moaners complement M. Ward's more subdued croon.
CITY DOPE.:.
4
MAGNOLIA ELECTRIC CO. ...
15
CITY PAGES
5
M. WARD/MOANERS
16
CAPITOL IMPACT
6
TIMBER
17
COMMENT
7
DON'T MISS
18
HOTEL INDIGO
8
THE CALENDAR!
. 19
THE READER
9
BULLETIN BOARD
24
MOVIE DOPE
10
ART AROUND TOWN
25
MOVIE PICK
11
COMICS
26
GRUB NOTES
12
REALITY CHECK
C\J
THREATS & PROMISES
13
CLASSIFIEDS
28
RECORD REVIEWS'
14
EVERYDAY PEOPLE
31
EDITOR l PUBLISHER Pete McCommons
ADVERTISING DIRECTOR l PUBLISHER Alicia Nickles
PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Larry Tenner
MANAGIN6 EDITOR Christina Cotter
ADVERTISING SALES Anita Aubrey,’Melinda Edwards, Jessica Pritchard
MUSIC EDITOR Michelle Gilzenrat
CITY EDITOR Ben Emanuel
CLASSIFIEDS, DISTRIBUTION l OFFICE MANAGER Paul Karjian
AD DESIGNERS Ian Rickert, Kelly Ruberto
CARTOONISTS Cameron Bogue, Matthew Doxtad, Joe Havasy, Missy Kulik, Jeremy Long. Clint McEtroy, Mutant Hamster,
Josh Nickerson
ADOPT ME Special Agent Cindy Jerrell
CONTRIBUTORS Hillary Brown, Jason Bugg, Deb Chasteen, Tom Crawford, Alex Oimitropoulos, David Eduardo. Jeff Gore,
Chris Hassiotis, John Huie, Gordon Lamb, Charley Lee, Bao Le-Huu, John G. Nettles, Jeff Tobias. Drew Wheeler
CIRCULATION Charles Greenleaf, Jimmy Courson, Swen Froemke, Eric Mullins
WEB OESIGNER Ian Rickert .
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EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Jennifer Bryant
MUSIC INTERN Charlie Stafford . ,
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VOLUME 23
ISSUE NUMBER 29
1 • i ■ • . * * • • • * ,
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JULY 22,2009 • FLAGP0LE.COM ■; 3'