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Find something you care about. Ask your
favorite bands to play. Raise some money to
help.
10. Go to an afterparty with strangers. It is
an easy thing to do. Do not be intimidated.
The bar is closing. The last band has wrapped
up. The questions are as follows: 1) Do you
guys know where a party is? 2) Can I get a
ride?
11. Make a pilgrimage to the Georgia
Guidestones. So, okay, Elberton's
Guidestones, in all
their weird Americana
Stonehenginess, are
just a thing to look
at, too. But unlike
the tree or that can
non or the Iron Horse
or those insuffer
able bulldogs, these
tilings a few miles out
of town inspire and
challenge. They offer
the answers. They
offer more mysteries.
There's something to
'em. Right?
12. Break a heart.
Get yours broken, too,
while you're at it. But
getting involved in
convoluted, scene-
incestuous, ill-advised,
rewarding romances
is a time-honored
tradition in small Southern towns. And there's
nothing that'll help you to learn to treat peo
ple with compassion than to open yourself up
to getting hurt and hurting other folks in the
process. Tread lightly, tread often, dive in.
13. Drink on the Broad River. Responsibly,
of course, but an afternoon going down the
Broad River on a lazy kayak is a removal from
the admittedl/minimal stresses of Athens life.
It's also a healthy reminder that we're in the
middle of rural Georgia, with the accompany
ing stillness easily accessible.
and individual. One woman's Bread Basket bis
cuit maybe another man's North Campus nap.
But something that comes close to universal
is the Athenian late-night dance party: the
music scene exploded 30 years ago on the idea
that people like to come together and shake it
to a collective groove. That idea is correct—
we've been doing it ever since,-to all kinds of
music, with all kinds of friends.
17. Get out of town. Come back. Goddamn if
Athens is not a wonderful place to be, but it's
sometimes a lot more wonderful when you're
not here. Remember
that no matter how
swell things in Athens
seem, we don't have
some sort of monopoly
on good ideas or
good ways to do
things. That show that
seems so important
to attend? You may
not remember it in
10 years. So, take
the time to drive to
Graceland, hop on a
plane to Mexico, do
whatever, just get out
of town for a bit. You'll
remember why you're
coming back, too.
18. Be the last to
leave a house party.
You may not have to
go home, but you've
got to leave where you
are. The Grill is open 24 hours. The cabs will
overcharge you.
19. Learn the history of your house. You are
not the first to live here. You are not the last.
If you are in a house in any given historic
district, your toilet is probably older than you
are, and it's seen far more than you probably
will. Ask around. Find out who used to live
there and what they did in that weird room
next to the kitchen. Visit the public library's
Heritage Room, even, bookworms. You're just a
dot on this line of Athenians, and you're lucky.
14. Attend the demolition derby at the
Elberton Fair. Elberton is 45 minutes to
the east, and a world away sometimes. The
late local poet John
Seawright wrote about >
this annual fall festi- ==
val, and Vic Chesnutt §>
set his words to ®
music. The highlight
of the week-long party
is the demolition
derby, and a number
of Athensfolk make
their way out every
year. Ignore those who
would ironically mock
the country trappings,
because, hell, a foot-
long corndog is a
beautiful thing. A car
hitting a car? It's a
beautiful thing, too.
15. Stay in Athens
for a summer. The
parking's easier, the lines are shorter, the
traffic's less, and all because the scrum of stu
dents have departed for elsewhere. With more
students sticking around for summer classes
than ever before, it's not like it used to be
(what is?) but it still makes an investigation
into the core of the town that much easier as
the chaff makes its way from the wheat.
16. Go nuts at a dance party. The rituals we
choose or stumble upon can be fairly arbitrary
20. Reminisce about what used to be.
There's nothing Athenian if not a sense of
ever-developing nostalgia, and you'll know
you've been around a while when you start
giving directions and saying things like, "You
know where the Farmer's Hardware used to
be? Where there are apartments now? Turn
there." Nothing is what it was, nothing will
be again, but fight the urge to lionize what
came before. Shun those who would ensnare
you into their backwards-looking crankiness!
Create your own Athens, and look back later.
Chris Hasslotis
athens
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AUGUST 12,2009 • FlAGPOLE.COM 19