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So, I was with my girlfriend for five-and-a-
ha If years, during which we lived together and
I was lost for awhile trying to get done with
school and trying to figure out what to do with
my life. I wanted to have some purpose and to
be able to support a family. She is the coolest
person I know, and she stayed here waiting for
me to get my act together. We both wanted to
move away to somewhere else, and I was try
ing to find the place to go but failed to be true
to my heart. I didn't tell her that I thought
she was the one and that I wanted
her to move away with me but
was unsure of being off on
our own in a new place.
I messed up because I
left town with no plan
of action and no return
date. I know this really
hurt her, and if I could
turn back the hands
of time I would and
never leave her alone.
I was gone for
three or four weeks
then came back and
had to leave again to
retrieve my belongings
and was gone for another
two-and-a-half weeks when she said she did
not want to be in a relationship with me any
more. I hauled ass back to try and save our
relationship, but she seemed very distant and
pissed off because I left. I reacted poorly when
I saw her because she said she didn't want to
do this anymore. I was also upset because of
the vagueness of the break-up. Was it because
of someone else or just because of me? I am
aware that I messed up and I should have been
more open with her and told her what my plans
were, but I did not do that. I know hindsight is
20/20, but I am lost again.
This is the woman who brings joy to my life.
I was in a dark period of time for the last six
months, and we needed
to talk about things but
we didn't because I was
unapproachable. We were
both very angry and stub
born. I am sure she still is
angry with me. She'said
she wanted some space
and time, and I feel like I
have given her that, but I
want to talk to her and see
her more than anything.
I have written her a novel
of thoughts, problems,
feelings and desires, but
have gotten next to noth
ing in feedback. She says
she loves me, but when I
have seen her for very brief
moments it's like she wants
to telt me something but
won't We hugged and held each other, and she
said it would be easy to just come back but
won't go back on her decision. I want to prove
that T am the man she fell in love with so long
ago and live the rjreams that we had together.
I have changed my lifestyle now and want
nothing more than to ignite our passion again.
What do I do?
Capt. Fbntastic
response. Well, I think you have your answer,
CF. Even if you can still see a spark there
somewhere, and even if you just know she
still loves you, she has made it pretty clear
that she's trying to move on. So, let her. And
vow never to make the same mistakes. This is
generally how relationships work and how we
grow as people and get better at them.
There's a guy whom I have been in contact
with for about a year or so. We met through
mutual friends, became friends and kind of
hit it off, but it seemed like the timing
was never right for us to be anything
more. I am very attracted to him,
but I am also happy being just
friends because he's really
great. When we first met, he
had a girlfriend, or at least
a girl he was seeing exclu
sively. Then I started seeing
somebody, and he and that
girl stopped seeing each other.
Then he left town for a couple
of months. Now he's back, we're
both single, and we have seen
each other as friends several
times. I honestly like being
friends with him, and I think
the feeling is mutual. There is rarely any ten
sion between us, but occasionally I feel like
there is.
Anyway, I was at work the other day, and
we had planned to meet for a drink, then I
got roped into working late. I sent him a text
telling him I had to cancel because I was work
ing late and that I was having a shit day. He
showed up half an hour later with a box of
brownies from the bakery. I was surprised and
confused, and I asked him why? And what?
And he just smiled and said he was sorry I was
haring a bad day and that he would take a
rain-check for the drinks. When he left, my co-
workers were freaking out. Basically, they think
that this was an obvious
move on his part to be
more than friends. They
. think I'm crazy if I don't
date this guy. I'm not sure
that brownies equal love or
if he was just being nice.
What do you think?
Anonymous
If the brownies were an
isolated incident, then I
wouldn't think anything of
them. And if he is just the
kind of guy who does stuff
like that for his friends,
then maybe it really is
nothing. But the fact that
you two seem to have
some chemistry leads me
to suspect that this was a
move on his pait (and a nice move, at tnat)
You know him, Anonymous. What do you
think? I mean, what do you really think? Never
mind your co-workers and your mutual friends,
and don't be coy. Is he making a move? If
he's not, then consider yourself lucky to have
a friend with great timing and great taste in
baked goods. But if he is, then it's rain-check
time. Get those drinks!
The only thing you can do is try to tell
her how you feel and hope that she still
cares. However, you said you've written her a
novel and you have gotten next to nothing in
Jyt Inov
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