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MATTERS OF THE HEART AND LOINS
So, I have been on Face book for, like, a
year. There are a whole bunch of people from
my high school on there, people I moved away
from 10 years ago and haven't seen since. They
all have friended me, and even though I wasn't
actually friends with most of them at the time,
I have added them just to be polite. I have to
say that a few of them have made me laugh,
and it was nice to hear from them, but there
are a couple of people who are kind of annoy
ing and making me uncomfortable.
One guy in particular was not yery popular
and obviously has just collected everybody
from our class. I am not a jerk, so
I don't want to unfriend him
or whatever and make him
feel bad, but he is kind of
getting on my nerves and
he comments on every
picture I post and just
seems to lurk around all
the time, waiting for me
to be online so that
he can message me. I
finally figured out how
to get off of the chat
thing, but now I kind
of just wont this guy to
go away. How con I do
this without him noticing?
Will he get an alert that
says somebody bumped him? For the record,
I wasn't exactly the prom queen either, and I
don't think I am better than this guy. It's just
that his constant attention is kind of stressing
me out. Any suggestions?
Anonymous
You have to go into your account and
change the privacy settings. Rather than just
blocking this guy, which obviously might hurt
his feelings, you can put him on a list (that's
how you categorize your friends or "friends,"
as it were) and then block that list o f people
from seeing certain parts of your profile. This
is a great way to keep your family from see
ing pictures from that party last weekend,
for example, or protecting your conservative
friends from your political ideas. (Don't want
to blow anybody's tiny little mind!) Options
like these are why Facebook has millions of
users and Myspace looks like the online
equivalent of Cormac
McCarthy's The Road.
Kudos to you for being
nice when you don't have
to, by the way.
This woman who I have dated
a few times keeps calling me. We
go out every once in a while and
usually sleep together, and it's fun,
but I have my doubts. A couple of
times she has gotten really drunk
and ended up crying all night, and
I felt awkward but I didn't want to be
a jerk. The next day she would act like
nothing happened and then jump me, so
it wcs easy to forget how weird I felt at the
time.
Once we went out with a good friend of
mine to a show and she was acting very com
petitive even though my friend and I are and
always have been completely platonic After
that we kind of got in a fight and I wrote her
off and didn't see her or hear from her for a
month. Then she texted me and wanted to get
together, and we ended up sleeping together
again. I can't decide if part of me is really
interested and I want to give her a chance or
if I am just horny and take her calls because I
don't have anything else going on. I actually
want to have a girlfriend, but I have my doubts
that this is the one. What do you think?
Not a Bad Guy
It sounds like you are trying to be nice but
you don't know how to say no. Think with the
big head, NABG, not the little one. Be hon
est with yourself; if there was absolutely no
chance of sex, would you want to talk to this
person at all? If you were dating a different
woman casually, and this woman called you,
would you still consider meeting her? If
the answer to both of those questions
is yes, then you should make a real
effort to actually date her. If
the answer is no, then you
need to lose her number
and forget about it. Time
wasted with people who are
obviously not right for you
is time that you might spend
meeting somebody who is.
I om foirly new in town, and
I have become friends with a
few of my co-workers. Lost
weekend I was invited to a
party with several of them
at a house where they live. I was having a
good time, had a few drinks and started to feel
comfortable. I met this guy, and he was cute
and funny and charming. We talked for a long
time, and he asked for my number, and I gave
it to him. He asked me if I wanted to leave and
get something to eat, and I declined because I
didn't really know him and didn't think it was a
good idea. Then I pretty much lost him in the
crowd and didn't think about it again.
He called me the next day, and I didn't
answer because I was out. I decided to wait
until I went to work again and ask one of my
co-workers about him. So, the next
week I was at work, and one
of the girls came in with this
guy, and its her boyfriend! He
looked right at me and acted
like he didn't remember
anything, even going so
far as to shake my hand as
if we were meeting for the
first time. I was completely
shocked. Now my only
question is: What should I
tell this girl? She wasn't there
that night, she doesn't really
know me, but I like my job and
all of the people I work with.
I feel like if I don't tell her I
am betraying her, but I don't
want to stir anything up when
things are going well. Help!
New Girl
Don't say anything now, NG. It will be
too easy for him to deny it, and you might
lose all of your friends. Wait and see how
things go. At some point down the line you
may feel close enough to her to tell her, or
at least tell somebody else who can tell her,
but right now you're the new kid and there is
no reason for anybody to believe you. Don't
risk alienating everybody. If he's that big of
& jackass, she will probably figure it out soon
enough anyway.
PIS Jyllnov
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