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30 MINUTES OR LESS (R) 30
Minutes or Less, the second movie
trom Zombielanddirector Ruben
Fleischer, starts oft pretty poorly
thanks to bad writing and a focus on
its two least appealing characters,
unfortunately played by the top-billed
Jesse Eisenberg and Danny McBride A
slacker (is that term valid for this gen
eration’) who drives like Mario Andretti
(is that reference too dated as well?).
Nick (Eisenberg, who's a long way
trom his Academy Award nomination)
is forced by two fledgling criminals,
Dwayne (McBride) and Travis (Nick
Swardson), to rob a bank alter they
strap a bomb to his chest
50/50 (R) Cancer is scary and
depressing It's even scarier and more
depressing when it happens to a young
person So how is Jonathan Levine's
second film so darn funny and uplift
ing’ Joseph Gordon-Levitt (the only
young actor who can compete with
Ryan Gosling in a battle of control and
nuance). Seth Rogen (he excels in
these sweet, supporting, puerile roles).
Anna Kendrick (proving her Oscar-
nominated perlormance in Up in the
Air ms no fluke) and screenwriter Will
Reiser are how
► ANONYMOUS (PG 13) Big
blockbuster helmer Roland Emmerich
(Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day
After Tomorrow. 10,000 B C , 2012)
tries a smaller him on tor size During
the succession ot Queen Elizabeth I.
the Earl ot Oxford. Edward de Vere
(Rhys Ifans). is embroiled in the
political intrigue leading to the Essex
Rebellion He's also supposedly the
author ot Shakespeare's plays Writer
John Orlott previously scripted My
Mighty Heart and several installments
ot Band ot Brothers" With Derek
Jacobi. David Thewlis. and mother/
daughter duo. Joely Richardson and
Vanessa Redgrave
THE BIG YEAR (PG) The Big Year is
like that really nice guy you know who's
really boring You feel bad not wanting
to hang out with him. but what a waste
of tune he is Jack Black. Steve Martin
(whose putty visage and tiny eyes look
more and more strange) and Owen
Wilson star as three birders compet
ing to see the most species of North
American b'rds in one year All three
of these actors are likable enough, but
none of them have the charisma or
screen presence to overcome such an
uncompelling script Black's awful VO
does not help Thematically, the movie
invites comparisons to The Bucket
List, which is less complimentary than
it sounds
CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST
AVENGER (PG-13) Do you remember
The Rocketeer^ I do. and so does
Captain America director Joe Johnston,
who should, seeing as he directed the
1991 throwback Johnston smartly
gives Captain America: The First
Avenger (talk about unnecessary sub
titles) the same sort ot Saturday mati
nee serial teel Ninety-pound weakling
Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) wants to
do his part in WWII, but army doctors
keep 4Fing him until Dr Abraham
Erskine (the ever wonderful Stanley
Tucci) approaches with his super sol
dier serum Soon. Steve Rogers turns
into a muscled-up superhero called
Captain America, who must stop rogue
Nazi, the Red Skull (Hugo Weaving),
from devastating the world
COURAGEOUS (PG 13) The technical
skills ot director Alex Kendrick and the
folks (they are trom Albany) behind
Sherwood Baptist's latest evangelical
epic have vastly improved since their
breakthrough hit. Facing the Giants
On a completely technical level, you'd
never know you were not watching a
Hollywood production about four law
entorcement officers forced to face
themselves as men and lathers alter a
tragedy
CRAZY, STUPID. LOVE (PG-13)
What a crazy, stupid idea 1 Write a
mature comedy script Cast pretty, tal
ented, appropriately aged stars Direct
them with care, humanity and simplic
ity Who would ever think those actions
would develop into the summer s most
charming wide release’ Only almost
everyone who doesn't gleenlight studio
projects Steve Carell stars as Cal
Weaver, whose wife, Emily (Julianne
Moore), suddenly bombs him with a
divorce pronouncement that leads him
to a local bar where Cal meets inveter
ate womanizer Jacob (Ryan Gosling)
While Cal the nice guy is learning to
objectify women. Jacob the man-whore
is tailing for law student Hannah
(Emma Stone)
DOLPHIN TALE (PG) I am not a
sucker tor sentimental animal mov
ies Were I. then I am sure Dolphin
Tale would have tit the bill A lonely
12-year-old. Sawyer (Nathan Gamble),
rescues a dolphin (real tail-less dol
phin, Winter, as hersell) caught in a
crab Lap With the help ot a marine vet
(Harry Connick Jr). his daughter (Cozi
Zuehlsdortt) and a doctor who special
izes in prosthetics (Morgan Freeman).
Sawyer helps save the dolphin oy
fashioning a fake appendage.
DRIVE (R) Drive slides through the
alleys and sidestreets of its criminal
Los Angeles with the precision, skill
and style of its nameless Driver (Ryan
Gosling), called the Kid by his boss/
handler, Shannon (Bryan Cranston;
BTW why aren t you watching
Breaking Bad' yet?). Stuntman by
day. getaway man tor hire by night, the
driver slides his leather driving gloves
on and gets his bumpers bloody when
a cute neighbor (Carey Mulligan) with
a little tyke runs atoul of some local
toughs Gosling must hail from an
alien world tilled with cool because he's
certainly more so than any other actor
working today (besides maybe George
Clooney maybe)
FOOTLOOSE (PG-13) Let's go ahead
and dispel any thoughts that the Kevin
Bacon starrer is somehow above being
remade What Husl'e & Flow filmmaker
Craig Brewer has done in remaking the
seminal 80s flick is impressive. Brewer
relocates the dance banning town of
Bomont from Oklahoma to Georgia,
adding another film to Brewer's resume
of intriguing cinematic stories about
the New South Ren MacCormack
(Kenny Wormald, looking like he
translerred from Rydell High) migrates
south to live with his aunt and uncle
(Kim Dickens and scene-stealing Ray
McKinnon, an Adel native and Oscar
winner) There he runs afoul ot Rev
Shaw Moore (Dennis Quaid). who
instituted the dancing ban alter his
son died in a car accident, and woos
Moore's beautiful, troubled daughter,
Ariel (Julianne Hough, "Dancing with
the Stars") Brewer's movie has a nice
rhythm and does the South more
justice than any other major Hollywood
release
THE FUTURE (R) Popular indepen
dent filmmaker, Miranda July (her
debut. Me and You and Everyone
We Know, was all the rage in 2005),
returns with her second feature
Adopting a stray cat changes the
course ot time and space for a couple
(July and Hamish Linklater). The film
narrated by the cat. Paw-Paw (v July),
sounds a bit more intriguing and
original than much ot the indie fare
that emerges trom the festival scene
Nominated for the Golden Bear at the
Berlin International Film Festival
THE IDES OF MARCH (R) Based on
a play, George Clooney's new political
drama definitely has some shades ot
a Redtord him An idealistic staffer.
Stephen Myers (Ryan Gosling), learns
to olay duty politics on the cam
paign trail ot a hot new presidential
candidate (Clooney, pulling double
duty) It remains to be seen whether or
not Clooney's new picture can set the
pace lor the early Oscar front runners.
IN TIME (PG-13) Gattaca writer-
director Andrew Niccol tweaks the
sci-fi genre again with this take on
Logan's Run. In a future world, every
one is genetically engineered to stop
aging at 25. To ward oil overcrowding,
people are also designed to only live to
26 In this ageless new society, a man
accused of murder (Justin Timberlake)
goes on the lam with a pretty hostage
(Amanda Seytried. Mamma Mia!).
THE MIGHTY MACS (G) In the early
70s. Cathy Rush becomes the head
basketball coach at a tiny, all-girls
Catholic college Though her team
has no gym and no uniforms and the
school itself is in danger ot being sold.
Coach Rush looks to steer her girls to
their fust national championship
MONEYBALL (PG-13) Based on
Michael Lewis' bestseller, director
Bennel Miller's follow-up to the Oscar
winning Capote actually makes base
ball statistics interesting Oakland As
General Manager Billy Beane (Brad
Pitt) attempts to build a championship
ballclub through On Base and Slugging
Percentage rather than traditional
scouting Does it work’ Anyone famil
iar with Major League Baseball already
knows the answer.
MYSTERIES OF LISBON 2010
Based on the 19th-century Portuguese
novel by Camilo Castelo Branco, the
Iberian Peninsula's version of Charles
Dickens, MysteriesolLisbon)ollows
Joao. a bastard child of two aristocrats,
seeking the truth about his parents.
From there, three decades untold
across Spain, France, Italy and Brazil
Winner ol Raul Ruiz's film clocks in
at four-and-a-hall hours. Portugal's
Golden Globes tor Best Film, Best
Actor (Adriano Luz) and Best Actress
(Maria Joao Bastos).
NAIL GUN MASSACRE (R) 1985
Bad Movie Night returns to Cin6 with
a crappy, revengey. slasher-like flick
A mystery killer uses the titular tool
to avenge the gang rape ot a young
woman by a construction crew The
vengeful mystery man (or woman’)
sports a motorcycle helmet and drives
a stylish gold hearse It's (not) a shame
this flick is the only etfort by writer-
director Terry Lofton
• PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 (R) I
cannot think of another horror franchise
as chronologically interesting Oren
Peli's scary 2007 blockbuster occurred
Iasi ending without the typical survi
vor Then, rather than have demonic
Katie terrorize some unsuspecting
family, the series' creative minds chose
to go backwards. Consider PA3\he
origin story, revealing the footage, shot
in 1988 by their mother's boyfriend,
Dennis, that explains why sisters Katie
and Kristy continue to be haunted
Catfish filmmakers Henry Joost and
Ariel Schulman. working trom a script
by Paranormal Activity 2s Christopher
Landon, up the action ante. Just plain
more happens in PA3, without chang
ing the series’ less-is-more-scary
attitude A couple of extra victims are
introduced to provide some added ten
sion (and humor) Some snazzy modi
fications are made to the stationary
security camera POV ot the previous
films. Sure, some of the events Dennis
“chooses to film" would have been
better conveyed by some other means
When you and two little girls are in
danger, your first thought won't be. “I
need to get this on tape.’ Still, with
Saw dead for the moment. Paranormal
Activity is horror's reigning Iranchise;
it's also the most consistent If the first
and second movies scared you. the
third will. too.
PSYCHO (R) 1960 Alfred Hitchcock's
classic chiller, the proto-typical slasher
film, set the standard for horror to
come, be that good or bad Norman
Bates (Anthony Perkins) might seem
like the mild-mannered All-American
boy. but Marion Crane (Janet Leigh)
would tell you otherwise, had Bates's
murderous mother not infamously
offed the criminal secretary in a first act
shower scene So long as the real thing
is available, do not ever watch Gus Van
Sant's pointless shot-lor-shot remake.
PUSS IN BOOTS (PG) Shrek's fairy
tale may have moved on to happily
ever alter, but Puss in Boots (v. Antonio
Banderas) is still itching for a fight.
His spinoff reveals the swordtighting
antics that led up to Puss meeting up
with Shrek and company Naturally,
this flick was once slated lor a direct-
to-DVD release; will the cat be able to
match the ogre's blockbuster results?
Featuring the voices of Salma Hayek.
Zach Galifianakisand more
REAL STEEL (PG-13) The trailer lor
this Hugh Jackman action movie just
screams Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots;
The Movie (which apparently was in
development at one point). Jackman
is a struggling promoter of robot box
ing, who thinks he has a contender
in a discarded bot He also discovers
he has an 11-year-old son Director
Shawn Levy has been on a roll; his last
three movies were the high-profile hits.
Night at the Museum, its Smithsonian-
set sequel and Date Night
RESTLESS (PG-13) The story of a
terminally ill teenage girl who falls tor
a boy who likes to attend funerals and
their encounters with the ghost of a
Japanese kamikaze pilot from WWII
RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE
APES (PG-13) The best Planet of the
Apes movie in nearly 40 years. Rise
ol the Planet ol the Apes—ostensibly
a remake ot Conquest of the Planet ol
the Apes—tells the origin story lor
an entirely new Apes saga In present
day San Francisco, a researcher, Will
Rodman (James Franco), is working on
a cure lor Alzheimer s When one of his
test chimps goes nuts. Will's project is
shut down, but not before he gains a
houseguest, a hyper-intelligent chimp
he names Caesar, who goes on to lead
the revolution that overthrows human
ity and places the apes in charge Rise
MOVIE LISTINGS
Schedules olten change after our deadline. Please call ahead.
CINE (706 -353-3343) check website for show times
The Future (R) 7:30 (W. 10/26 & Th. 10/27)
Drive (R) 5:15, 9:30 (W. 10/26 & Th. 10/27) 5:15. 7:30 (starts F.
10/28)
Mysteries of Lisbon (NR) 4:30 (W. 10/26 & Th. 10/27)
Psycho (R) 9:45 (no show Su. 10/30) 2:45 (Sa. 10/29 & Su. 10/30)
Restless (PG-13) 5:00. 7:15, 9:30 (starts F. 10/28) (no show Su.
10/30). 3:00 (Sa. 10/29 & Su. 10/30)
Accurate movie times for the CARMIKE 12 (706-354-0016),
BEECHWOOD STADIUM 1 1 (706 546-10) 1) and GEORGIA
SQUARE 5 (706-548-3426) cinemas are not available by press
time. Visit www.flagpole.com for updated times.
Splendid! Strike the peasant once more.
is one of the smartest big fun sci-fi
Hicks I've seen in a while.
THE RUM DIARY (R) Johnny Depp
stars in his second adaptation ol a
work by the late Hunter S. Thompson
An American journalist. Paul Kemp
(Depp), attempts to adjust to island lile
after taking a job in 1950s Puerto Rico.
Director Bruce Robinson (an Oscar
nominee for his script for 1985's The
Killing Fields) may be best (and least)
remembered for his cult hit, Withnail &
7, he was last seen behind the camera
for the underwhelming Andy Garcia-
Uma Thurman serial killer thriller.
Jennifers.
SHARK NIGHT (PG-13) This killer
fish flick is as good as anything you'll
find named Shark Night and disap
pointingly rated PG-13 It's certainly
better than its inbred Syty kinfolk, but
only by direct comparison to decidedly
TV alfair. Some Tulane students (you'd
think the kids of the Ivy League South
would be smarter than this) head to a
pretty blonde's (Sara Paxton) isolated
lake house Too bad the saltwater lake
is filled with a variety of sharks 1
THE SMURFS (PG) The live action/
CGI hybrid version ot The Smurfs is
not as bad as its atrocious trailers
would imply, thanks largely to the
smurfish talents of Neil Patrick Harris.
THE THING (R) This remake-cum-
prequel to John Carpenter's 1982
horror classic (itself a remake of the
1951 Howard Hawks production, The
Thing from Another World) starts
out right, with Carpenter’s trademark
Albertus font, and ends well, with a
shot-lor-shot bridge to its predecessor
Unfortunately, the middle sags and
drags more than it chills and thrills.
When a Norwegian research party
discovers a UFO and its frozen pilot, a
pretty paleontologist (Mary Elizabeth
Winstead) must explain the unexplain
able find But the alien wakes a bit on
the grouchy side, slicing, dicing and
replicating everything it meets Director
Matthijs van Heljning, Jr captures the
spirit of Carpenter’s original, but the
script by Eric Heisserer forces its bland
band of blood bags, including Warrior's
Joel Edgerton as the Kurt Russell proxy
(Carter's no MacCready), to commit
all the typically dumb horror movie
moves. No one expected this third
Thing to better either of its predeces
sors. and it didn't What this horror
flick does outdo is most of its recent
remake competition.
• THE THREE MUSKETEERS (PG-
13) The latest adaptation of Alexandre
Dumas' wonderful adventure novel
doesn't do anything particularly baoly.
The cast—including one-time Mr.
Darcy. Matthew Macfadyen, as Mhos,
Ray Stevenson as Porthos and Luke
Evans as Aramis—is tons more literate
than the 1993 trio of Kiefer Sutherland.
Charlie Sheen and Oliver Platt. The
airships are pretty cool. too. Tone is
where 'Ocean's Three (Musketeers)’
starts to stumble. Resident Evil direc
tor Paul W.S. Anderson stages the
Musketeers' exploits to recover the
Queen’s diamond necklace from the
Duke of Buckingham (Orlando Bloom),
who's not as bad as the other guy,
Cardinal Richelieu (Christoph Waltz,
who never takes fiery control of his
scenes), like a mod '60s heist caper
rather than a modern swashbuckler.
Anderson may be the only filmmaker
more influenced by videogames than
Zack Snyder One feels he conjured
up the movie's entire concept while
scaling buildings in Assassin's Creed
It. his movie might as well be the
recently optioned big-screen version
of Ubisofts historical action-adventure
game Still, it's fun. Unfortunately,
D'Arlagnan is the linchpin that doesn't
quite fit Logan Lerman's too young,
too slight, too American to stand
beside these likable Musketeers.
Drew Wheeler
12 FLAGPOLE.COM • OCTOBER 26, 2011