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ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS:
CHIPWRECKED G) Come on. Fox'
If you're going to keep releasing new
Chipmunks entries each holiday
season the least you can do is make
a Christmas-themed movie featuring
the furry trios classic holiday tunes
Instead Alvin Simon Theodore, the
Chipettes and Dave (poor, paycheck
cashing Jason Lee) start out on a
cruise ship and wind up on a deserted
island Judging by the boffo box office
of the previous two features plus the
young audience's reaction to the new
pic s trailer, Chtpwrecked should pro
vide its studio with some holiday cheer
ARTHUR CHRISTMAS iPGil m a
sucker for a good, creative behind-the-
hohday-scenes sequence (Hop boasts
a good one) and Arthur Christmas
opens with a doozy But this charm
ing holiday surprise- coming from
Aardman Studios— keeps charming as
it delightfully recounts the Christmas
Eve adventure of Santa s younger son
After another successful hi-tech run
masterminded like a military operation
by Santa s older son Steve (v Hugh
Laune) Arthur (v James McAvoy)
discovers one little girl was missed In
a last-mmute effort lo save Christmas
for that little girl Arthur his Grandsanta
lv Bill Nighy) and elfin wrapping
specialist Bryony (v Ashley Jensen
Ricky Gervaiss Extras') fire up the old
sleigh hitch up the eight famous rem
dr*et and attempt to tly to England Brits
just get ChrrJmas and the animation
gurus at Aardman best known for
Wallace and Gromit have conjured up
a lovely happy holiday film
► CARNAGE Hip
dire* ts Jodie I siH Kate Winslet
Christoph WaJ/ and John C Reilly in
a tarmty d»amedy I m game Two sets
ot parents (Foster and Reilly Winslet
and Walt/1 set up a friendly meeting
to discuss their sons schoolyard lift I
can't wad to see where that discussion
goes wrong Polanski and playwright
Ya/mma Re/a update her one act
play God ot Carnage whose popular
Broadway incarnation starred James
Gandolfim Marcia Gay Harden Jett
Darnels and Hope Davis Polanskis
son E Ivis plays one ot the boys
DOLPHIN TALE (PG) I ami it a
sucker for sentimental animal toov
«s Were l then I am sore Dolphin
tale would have tit the Dill A lonely
12 year old Sawyer (Nathan Gamble),
rescues a dolphin (real tail less do!
phm, Winter as herself) caught m a
crab trap With the help of a marine vet
(Harry Conmck Jr). his daughter (Co/t
Zuehtsdortf) and a doctor who special
i/es m prosthetics (Morgan Freeman)
Sawyer helps save the dolphin by
tasluonmg a take appendage Money
woes a hurricane and the fishs own
dislike ot potential new tails confound
the boys attempts
THE GMl WITH THE ORAGON
TATTOO R) David Fincher gets
another shot at Oscar with the English
language adaptation ot Stieg Larssons
bestselling test entry in Ihe kMennum
Ttdogtr Daniel Craig stars as journalist
Mifcaei Womkvtst who solves a decade
cM nyitery with the help ot computer
hacker and owner ot a dragon taBoo
l iiMh Satander (Rooney Mara ft*
Socmt Awwote) As a teg tan at the
books and Swedish language terns
I applaud the cast which includes
Robin Wnghf as Blomkvist’s lover
Enka and Christopher Plummer as
Henrik Vanger Oscar winner Sleven
Zaillian (Schindler's List) adapted the
screenplay
HAPPY FEET 2 (PG) Mad Max cre
ator George Miller may not be able lo
get a new entry in his post-apocalyptic
Outback franchise oft the ground but
he was able to continue his singmg-
dancmg penguin senes Sadly I was
underwhelmed by Ihe firsl film so I
have little interest in a 3D sequel about
tap-dancing penguin Mumble (v Elijah
Wood) Now a father Mumble must
help his son, Erik, find his place in the
Emperor Penguin world while facing a
new threat with his friends and family
Featuring the voices ot Robin Williams
Pink and other famous folks
THE HELP (PG-13) Every black ser
vant is a saint every white employer
a demon College-educated Eugenia
Skeeler Phelan (the extremely likable
Emma Stonet) comes home to Jackson
to save its minority population through
bestselling pop fiction She collects fhe
stones of long-serving maids Aibileen
(Viola Davis) Mmny (Octavia Spencer)
and more into an illegal (in 1960s
Mississippi) tome that scandalizes the
gentry
HUGO PG) Oh to be an orphan liv
ing in an early-20th century clock'
Despite its near perfection this 3D
family film- Martin Scorseses first-
may ft* 'he liveliest wide release to
struggle to find its audience this year
Yet it's no wonder Scorsese 1 himself
a film historian as well to a him lever
decided to adapt Brian Set/mcks The
Invention ot Hugo Cadre! whose
enfra! mystery revolves around an
early cinematic master Parisian orphan
Hugo (Asa Butterfield) who lives
tm»de the ciocktowe* ot the tram sta
tion seeks the answer to a mysterious
automaton left unsolved by his late
tattler and clockmaket (Jude Law) with
the help of a toymaker named Georges
iBee Kingsley) and his charge Isabelle
(Chloe Grace Muret/) Knowledgeable
cmepbiles will be enthralled by
Sel?nnks story wonderfully adapted
by Oscar nominated scribe John
Logan which I refuse to spoil and
enchanted by the legendary filmmaker's
gorgeous imagery which coniures
memories ot Amehe Sadly the family
audiences that ensured fhe existence
ot a third Alvin and the Chipmunks will
not be flocking to this thoughtful liter
ary two plus hour masterpiece easily
one of this cinema greats best pictures
IMMORTALS R) An in spirit
sequel ot styte to Zack Snyder s 300
Immortals cannot conjure the historical
magic ot that 2006 blockbuster but it is
certainty more visually appealing than
fhe Wand uQty Clash ot ihe Titans
One of Greek mythology s greatest
mortal heroes. Theseus (Henry Cavtll
the soon-to-De-Superman) gets hts
expiods to toil King Hyperion's (a
quirky Mickey Rourke who one can
imagine bullying tes way to portray
mg toe villainous royal however he
damn well pleased) ptan to release
toe Titans and overthrow toe gods
toW on toe tug screen Quite probably
toe most visually striking trim ol toe
year toanks to toe genius ot ckredor
Tarserri Smgh (The Celt) toe action
adventure fails exactly as other films
from the theater of the videogame
have Whereas cinematic videogames
intercut predominantly weak storytell
ing with interactivity, films striving to
look like videogames (the films ot Zack
Snyder and Paul WS Anderson) have
yet to overcome their inability to be
interactive, leaving the audience with
thrilling visuals and a static shallow
narrative experience Immortals dra
matic sequences equate the cutscenes
ot a videogame, and they bore tar more
than the violent bloody action thrills
you never get to play
IN TIME PG-13) Gattaca writer-
director Andrew Niccol tweaks the
sci-fi genre again with this take on
Logan's Run In a future world every
one is genetically engineered to stop
aging at 25 To ward oft overcrowding,
people are also designed to only live to
26 In this ageless new society, a man
accused of murder (Justin Timberlake)
goes on the lam with a pretty hostage
(Amanda Seyfried Mamma Mia0
With Olivia Wilde Alex Pettyter Cillian
Murphy. Johnny Galecki and Vincent
Kartheiser ("Mad Men')
JACK AND JILL (PG) Adam Sandler
must have thought the take movies
from Funny People bad real potential to
have signed on for this pitiful comedy
wfiere he piays both Jack Sadelstein
ana his twin sister Jill They key to the
entire one-joke movie is that Sandler
makes an ugly woman Jill s homeli
ness and her lack of self-awareness
propel one l3me gag after another
Sandler s usual pals (Allen Covert
Nick Swardson) and celebrity cameos
pepper the cast Al Pacino s appearance
is the least likely and most unfortunate
as he plays himself as a desperate man
smitten with Jill Regrettably the flick
also features more than a handful of
casually stereotypical racial humor,
though everything even the la/y plot
ting and joke writing, is executed with
toe amiability that typifies its star
J EOGAR (R) Clint Eastwood directs
nothing overwhelmingly with tots taifly
straightforward foopc of the vision
ary American crime fighter J Edgar
Hoover The two hour plus awards bait
is a showcase tor likely Oscar nominee
Leonardo DtCapno The 37 year old
actor wastes not a moment ot screen
time, during much ot which he's clad
in ultra-believable makeup as toe aged
Hoover dictating his memoir to a string
of junior G men The fttm unfolds as a
sort ot greatest hits ot Hoovers life He
recounts tvs promotion to toe head ot
toe FBI toe Lindbergh case hts close
working relationship with longtime sec
retary Helen Gundy (Naomi Watts), his
close, private relationship with Clyde
Tolson (Armie Hammer, The Social
Network), and his too-close relation
ship with his mother (Dame Judi
Dench). Oscar winning screenwriter
Dustin Lance Black does not write this
film with anywhere near the introspec
tive depth ot Milk, J Edgar otters too
few insights into an intriguingly com
plex subject who had his fingers in so
many of Americas historical pies
MARGIN CALL (R) A thriller about
the financial crisis, Margin Call follows
some key players at an investment
banking firm during a 24-hour period
near the beginning of the financial
meltdown Whoever J C Chandor is. 4
the Golden Berlin Bear-nominated,
first-time feature filmmaker corralled
a hell ot a cast Kevin Spacey. Paul
Bettany. Jeremy Irons. Zachary Qumto,
Simon Baker. Mary McDonnell. Demi
Moore and Stanley Tucci all appear But
can Chandor who also wrote the film,
make the most of this massive collec
tion of talent?
MELANCHOLIA (R) Apparently,
Europe has forgiven renowned film
maker/provocateur Lars von Trier for
his tailed Nazi |Oke (one hopes) as his
masterful new film took top prize at the
European Film Awards It's the end of
toe world as the Dane knows it and
Justine (Cannes Best Actress Kirsten
Dunst in her bravest performance to
date), a sometimes blushing mostly
depressed bride, is getting mamed
while a mysterious new planet threat
ens to collide with Earth Starting wto
the stunning, nearly 10-mmute open
ing montage von Trier has composed
an extravagant, mature meditation on
toe apocalypse, both personal and
planetary and it is beautiful to behold
The Danish firebrand loves putting his
female leads both actress and charac
ter. through toe paces, and Melancholia
is no different Fortunately Antichrist
acted like a colonic, cleansing von Trier
of his worst tendencies and allowing
him to produce a product of incompa
rable purity Visually toe two pictures
are kin thematically and emotionally
they could not be any more distinct
He might have doomed these two
sisters (Dunst and Antichrists warrior
Charlotte Gamsbourg), but hopefully
their end marks a brilliant new cin
ematic beginning tor him
MIONIGHT IN PARIS PG 13) Owen
Wilson stars as toe latest Woody
stand m. Gil a Hollywood hack trying
to finish a novel while on a business
trip to Pans with tes fiancees (Rachel
McAdams) family On a magical
midnight walk Gal runs mHo Scott
and Zetda Fitzgerald (Tom Htddteston
and Alison Pill), gets wilting advice
from Papa Hemingway (Corey Stoll)
and Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates) and
falls for Picasso's girlfriend, Adriana
(Marion Cotillard)
THE MUPPETS PG) You can tell
cowriter-star Jason Segel loves the
Muppets His reboot of Jim Henson's
lovable puppets is built with obvious
love and understanding of what made
their 1979 film debut so special Gary
(Segel) his puppet brother, Walter,
and Gary s longtime girlfriend. Mary
(Amy Adams) travel lo Los Angeles,
where they discover a plot to destroy
the Muppet Theater by oil tycoon Tex
Richman (Oscar winner Chris Cooper)
Together, they help Kermit reunite the
old gang—Fozzie. Miss Piggy, Gonzo.
et a!—to put on a telethon in order to
raise the money needed to buy back
the property Self-referential with a joke
ratio that favors adults two-to-one (a
Muppet staple), some terrific songs by
one half ot Flight of the Conchords and
a bevy ot celebrity cameos, this film
revives the Muppets as you remember
them
•NEW YEAR S EVE (PG-13)
Almost every actor you could possi
bly recognize appears in the second,
two-hour holiday party thrown by
director Garry Marshall (Scratch that
No Julia) Ai least Valentine’s Day had
a semblance to what normal people
might expect on Feb 14 The folks
preparing io ring in 2012 (dating it
could sorely limit this flick's already
weak repeat watchability) aren t doing
a single thing you or I do, unless you
cater swank New York parties while
arguing with your music superstar
boyfriend (naturally played by Jon
Bon Jovi) A movie that feels crafted
by the celebrity worshipping cult of
E' has a surprising late-game twist to
appeal to the more mature segment
of its decidedly female audience
Targeting women as it does one
would think they d cast some more
appealing dudes A morose Ashton
Kutcher and a way too hyper Zac
Efron (who I typically like) are too
much even for Transformer-fighting
Josh Duhamel, when he's clad m a
too small bowhe I did like imagining
tha» the cancer doctor (Cary Elwes)
treating Robert De Niro s character
Stan, was Elwes Saw victim Dr
Lawrence Gordon, before Jigsaw s
games began Skip this party, and
wait tor the real thing
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 (R) I
cannot think of another horror fran
chise as chronologically interesting
Oren Peti s scary 2007 blockbuster
occurred last, ending without the
typical survivor Then rather than
have demonic Katie terrorize some
unsuspecting family the series
creative minds chose to go back
wards Consider PA3 the origin story,
revealing fhe footage shot in 1988 by
their mother s boyfriend, Dennis, that
explains why sisters Katie and Kristy
continue lo be haunted
PUSS IN BOOTS (PG) Shrek s
fairy tale may have moved on to hap
pily ever after but Puss m Boots (v
Antonio Banoeras) is Stitt itching tor
a tight Hi*, spinoff reveals the sword
fighting antics that led up to Puss
meeting up with Shrek and company
Naturally, this (tick was once stated
tot a direct-to-DVD retease will toe
cat be able to match toe ogre s block
busier results’ Director Chris Milter
94.000 sq ft 7 For real’
previously helmed Shrek the Third
Featuring the voices of Salma Hayek,
Zach Galifianakis and more
SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME
OF SHADOWS (PG-13) Everyone
important—stars Robert Downey,
Jr and Jude Law and director Guy
Ritchie—is back for a second inves
tigation Here. Downey's Holmes
and Law's Dr Watson must duel the
master sleuth's archenemy, Professor
Monarty (Jared Harris) Other pluses
are Noomi Rapace in her first, big
post-Lisbeth Salander appearance
and Stephen Fry as Holmes' brother,
Mycroft I liked Ritchie's blockbuster
update ot Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's
greatest creation; maybe I’ll love his
second attempt
• THE SITTER (R) This surpris
ingly semi-sweet comic confection
Irom director David Gordon Green in
his cinematic equivalent to a rubber
match (he won big with Pineapple
Express: he got blown out by the dis
appointing Your Highness : The Sitter
is the deciding third comedy) needs
a better trailer Jonah Hill s Noah
Griffith is a lot nicer of a dude than he
or the trailer let on, and that liability
saves the movie from descending
into the Danny McBnde-ian depths
ot comic self-loathing and asshoie-
ishness Tasked with babysitting
three miserable kids—anxiety-ridden
Slater (Max Records), makeup-
drenched. celeb-worshipper Plithe
(Landry Bender) and Salvadoran fos
ter kid Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez)—
this irresponsible slacker goes on
a big city adventure just to get laid
Hill, the kids and the rock-solid Sam
Rockwell, keep the concept and gags,
most of which expired in 1990, fresh
for the flick's 80 brief minutes, while
the quirky references and sweet
electronic score evoke the '80s action
vibe of the movies Green Hill, me and
the rest of The Sitter s target audience
grew up on. Still. Green needs to
make another critical darling before
he blows through his entire stash ot
goodwill
THE SMURFS (PG) The live action/
CGI hybrid version of The Smurfs
is not as bad as its atrocious trail
ers would imply, thanks largely to
the smurfish talents of Neil Patrick
Harris
TOWER HEIST PG 13) With the
help ot a con (Eddie Murphy), a
group of working stiffs (including Ben
Stiller, Matthew Broderick. Casey
Affleck Gabourey Sidibe and Michael
Pena) plan a Danny Ocean-type heist
on the high-rise home of the rich guy
that took all o! their money in a Ponzi
scheme This action comedy from
oft-maligned Brett Ratner. who really
missed his decade, also stars Tea
Leom. Alan Alda and Judd Hirsch
THE TWILIGHT SAGA:
BREAKING DAWN-PART 1 (PG
13) Stephens Meyer s extremely
popular teen-vamp-romance took
a surreal turn in the fourth book
Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward
(Robert Pattmson) finally marry
On toe honeymoon, Bella becomes
pregnant with a thing that should
not be Now the Cullens are caught
between the Ouileute wolves and
toe ancient Volturi, both of whom
are threatened by this unknown new
adversary I'll be interested to see
how director Bill Condon (Gods and
Monsters. Dreamgirts) handles the
book s R rated events (specifically
toe baby s bloody birth) m a PG-13
manner
YOUNG GOETHE IN LOVE (NR)
Young poet Johann Goethe tails tes
law exams prompting tes father to
send him away to a small town court
to get tes act together instead, he
tails m love with a woman promised
to someone else
Drew Wheeler
10 FLAGPOLE COM-DECEMBER 14. 2011