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I am a young, intelligent, outdoorsy guy liv- roll with it. If he responds in a stupid way, or
ing in a rural place in a rural state. As Tin sure doesn't respond, you probably wouldn't have
you hear a lot it's not easy to meet people hit it off with him anyway. Good luck.
here, but its only harder because I'm gay.
Its not tike the local bars even have a singles
night, so you can bet there's no watering holes
for those of us of the fabulous persuasion.
Because of that, I have turned to technol
ogy, and here's where I need your help. My
most recent foray into the digital ether
involved Grindr, a dating site that .
puts a preference on geogra-
phy. Sure, the most basic
function of Grindr tends to r k ~
be of a physical nature—
and Vm not opposed to J
such encounters. But given I -*V
the sheer lack of numbers A
playing for my team in
these parts, most guys
are playing it too cool
for school. It takes a lot gjp
for me to start a con- \
versation with someone, j (hfl
but recently I did. I finally j I *
met a guy of a reasonable I
distance, and with whom I
had some kind of banter. Conversation went
as usual. Hey, what's up? Crazy weather, aye?
What you looking for? Real stimulating conver
sation. Anyway, he requested I send additional
pictures, and I sought to oblige by browsing
through my camera roll. Two clicks later, and
my phone is seized in a cycle of data being
sent Try as I might, I couldn't stop the entirety
of my camera roll being sent to that evening's
gentleman caller. These pictures
consisted mainly of pic-
tures of foods on which I
had put poached eggs (I '&• .■# JJ
love breakfast; get over
it). There may
also have been y ^^B
a close-up of a
toenail as
a diagnostic
by my out-of-state
doctor. Immediately, I'm
aware that my battleship
sunk. Yet, he responds
with "hot." And then •
nothing. Radio silence. I am ^^B bB
mortified. Now where do I BB WgBk
go? I've made a complete ass Bn
of myself, and still his aims are ^B WSm
guided by his heat-seeking mis- ^B BB
sile. I'm lost. I'm not sure what ^B BB
my question is, but I need some
kind of guidance here.
Plasma Donors Needed Now
I recently got contacted via Facebook by
a guy that I haven't seen since high school
He dated my sister for a short time before she
went to college, and then he and I had an
incident a few months later. I was 16-years
old, had had way too much to drink, and
was trying to get him to give me a ride
home because he was leaving a party
s and I couldn't find my friends.
\ My recollection of the situation
/£\ i is that he was being a big
\ IAA j er f( anc j fj e was trying to
f \ / ) 1) ) tell me that he wouldn't
^jjA \// /hi give me a ride unless I
**»\ 'O' J) J had "something for him"
p A r in return. I was angry and
\ / disgusted and I ended up.
N A / walking home. I never spoke
\ / \ \ to him again. He lived a few
\ / V A towns over, and we did not
\ / \ 0\ travel in the same circles
y \ \ normally, so I never saw
him and had totally for
gotten about it This was 25 years ago. So you
can imagine my surprise when he contacted
me with a very effusive note about how he
remembers me and that he dated my sister (she
is not on Facebook and has long since left: our
small town) and how am I? I wrote back that
I did remember him and that I was surprised
that he would contact me considering what had
happened the last time we saw each other. He
didn't remember, but I told him what I remem
bered. He gave me his recollection (which was
fuzzy and did not involve him being crappy to
me) and seemed shocked and upset about my
memory of it. He didn't say I was wrong, mind
you, but he did say that he didn't remember
it that way. He was 18 at the time, and now
that I am a divorced woman in my 40s with a
teenaged son, I obviously am thinking about
it in a more forgiving light. We have exchanged
some e-mails. He still has Tetters that my sister
sent him. The whole thing is kinda weird, but
I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit
intrigued. He looks great; he seems like a nice
guy with his shit together, and I haven't met
a whole lot of those in the past 10 years since
my divorce. My sister has nothing but nice
things to say about him, but she is married and
lives in another state, so it isn't like she is a
possibility for him. So now he wants to go out
with me. What do you think, Jyl? Should I
» give him a chance, or is his behavior then a
warning to me about who he is?
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Camera Shy
Not Kids Anymore
Well, the fact that he responded at all is
interesting. And the fact that his response was
kind of hilarious is a good sign. On the other
hand, the fact that you haven't heard any
thing since then is not great. But you made
the mistake, so in my opinion the ball is in
your court. You have to decide to either com
pletely walk away from this, or you have to
follow up. You could say something like "Well,
now that you know my entire life story in 27
breakfasts, do you want to meet in person?"
Or how about "I may not have mentioned on
my profile that I am a technological genius,
but now that I have accidentally sent you my
entire camera roll, I guess you've probably *
sussed that out" Make a joke out of it That's
all you can do. Express your mortification, but
Give him a shot You were 16 and drunk the
last time you encountered him, so it is possi
ble that your recollections are a bit... cloudy.
Your sister, who actually dated the guy, has .
nothing but nice things to say, and since she
isn't interested in him now, she has no reason
to lie about it or paint a rosy glow on it for no
reason. What I would be most wary of is the
fact that he may still be very attached to your
sister, since he still has letters from her lying-
around after all these years. Proceed with cau
tion, but do proceed.
New hope. New life.
1100 Johnson Ferry Rd., Ste. 200
Atlanta, GA 30342
404.257.1900 • 866.680.6787
. www.rba-online.com
Reproductive Biology Associates
\ i NET HOPE. NET LIFE.
Got a question for Jyl? Submit your anonymous inquiry
via Reality Check at flagpole.com.
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MAY 30,2012-FLAGPOLE.COM 23