Newspaper Page Text
MAHERS OF THE HEART AND LOINS
I have a problem. My friend just spent a
year after college here in Athens working, and
I'm afraid he's going to move away. Worse, I'm
afraid he's going to move to be with his girl
friend who moved out of town for grad school.
His girlfriend is terrible, she gets viciously
jealous and never wants us hanging out just
because he's cheated on her with me in the
past???I'm talking way back when, like a year
ago. I feel like she should really be over it by
now if she trusts him at all. Also, I've noticed
that she's cool with him hanging out with
female friends, just not me???this feels like a
personal attack and I don't feet
that that's warranted against
me. Right after he and I
hooked up and she lived
in town I understood
why she wasn't a fan of
our amazing friendship
(it's clearly way chilled
out compared to her),
but time has passed,
and she doesn't even
live here anymore. I
don't think she should
have control over our
friendship, and I think
she's going to use the
idea of cheap rent, a new
city and domesticity to
lure him away from me and his job in Athens.
I could understand him moving for a better job
or for grad school but that doesn't seem to be
the case. And before you try to jump on my
case about having feelings for him, let me just
say: he and I are sexually attracted to each
other, it's painfully clear, and the only reason
I haven't hooked up with him again (which
I could definitely do) is because I know that
she'll try to keep him from seeing me. Yes, I
would date him, yes, I think about it alt the
time, and yes I enjoy the power struggle, but at
the bottom of it all I just
don't want to lose him to
his crazy girlfriend.
Anonymous
Wow, you sound
like an upstanding
citizen and a completely
trustworthy person,
Anonymous. I can't
imagine for a second
why this crazy woman
wouldn't want her boy
friend within humping
distance of you for any
longer than is absolutely
necessary.
Shall we start with
her justified jealousy or
your delusional fantasy?
First, a year ago is
not "way back when" for
everyone. And, a year
ago is like lunchtime yesterday when you're
talking about the worst kind of betrayal from
your significant other, followed by moving
away for grad school, and missing them terri
bly while they continue to see the person they
betrayed you with all the time and be friends
with them while you are living in another
town. I'd say the mere fact that she is staying
with him at all is proof that she trusts him.
She doesn't trust you, Anonymous, and being
the obviously unhinged bitch that she is, she
doesn't tike you, and she doesn't want her
boyfriend hanging around with you.
Flonestly???the nerve of her!
Now for the What's Really Going On
between you and this guy portion of this
question: I only have your side of the story
to go from, so it gets a bit tricky. You guys
had a thing. Okay, so attraction is (or was)
there. And you are friends, so he obviously
likes you on some level. But if you know you
could have him again, and you are so sure
of the connection that you have with him,
then what is he doing with Grad School Girl?
I mean, really? She's left town, he's got a job,
he has you right there any time, so... what
then? Why aren't you his girlfriend? Why isn't
she a distant memory from way back
less than a year ago? I'll tell you why,
Anonymous: Because he doesn't
like you in that way. Fie slept
with you, sure. And maybe
he would sleep with you
again. But telling yourself
you could sleep with him
at any time, if you wanted
to (because you don't, on
account of the girlfriend
'controlling" your friendship,
right?) is completely pointless
and a little sad. The "power
struggle" you claim to enjoy
isn't a struggle if he is pack
ing up and leaving. It's a
silly drama that you created by sleeping with
somebody else's boyfriend. She isn't tak
ing away your friend. She is moving forward
in a relationship. Her relationship with her
boyfriend. And he is going with her because
he clearly wants to be in that relationship,
too. You need to stop acting like any of this
is about you. Think I'm wrong? I don't really
know what your situation is and what you
have with this guy? Fine. Profess your love
for him and beg him to stay. If you are right,
and he agrees and breaks up with her and the
two of you live happily
ever after, then good
for you. But right now
you're just wasting your
< time. You need to let go
\ I of this so-called friend
ship and go find a real
boyfriend of your own.
You aren't going to find
the guy that really is
for you unless you stop
spending all of your time
hanging out with but
not having a real rela
tionship with somebody
else's boyfriend. This
drama is distracting you
from being where you
are supposed to be.
A NOTE TO THE WRITER
OF TWO QUESTIONS: I
did get your follow-up
email requesting that I not print your ques
tion, but unfortunately it came after I had
already written the column. I wouldn't have
done that had I gotten your request in time.
My apologies. For what it's worth, I don't
think that person is going to hold it against
you. As for it being a bit awkward, well, that's
why I didn't print your second letter. I figured
that would compound the awkwardness, and
I had no way of reaching you to give you this
response except here in print.
Jyl Inov
flagpole
ATHENS
FAVORITES
WINNERS
ARE
ONLINE
YEAR-
ROUND
AT
FLAGPOLE.COM
BUY IT
RENT IT
SELL IT
IN THE
FLAGPOLE
CLASSIFIEDS
attsi w&eJzbi
tuU&i a>ie
oilte/i 'p&p&iA'
dtculif nateA,!
PLACE YOUR AD
BY CALLING
706-549-9523
or go online to
Flagpole.com
GREEN
ROOM
AHCC. BA
begem
5.15 JERRY GARCIA BAND COVER BAND (JGBCB)
5.16 JAME MANNAHAN CD RELEASE SHOW w/
HART SAWYERS THE LOVE PROJECT
5.17 THE LAW BAND w/TEDO STONE
5.18 EFREN & DANGFLY
5.21 CHI McLEAN
5.22 JERRY GARCIA BAND COVER BAND (JGBCB)
175 N. LUMPKIN ST.
OPEN DAILY AT 4PM
www.georgiatheatre.com
215 North Lumpkin St. * Athens, GA
18 & over / ID reqd. Tickets available online and at Georgia Theatre Box Office
WEDNESDAY, MAY 15
TITUS
ANDRONICUS
with THE SO SO GLOS ??nd MUUY BIIEN
DOORS 10:00pm ??? SHOW 11:00pm
SATURDAY, MAY 18
KINCHAFOONEE
COWBOYS
DOORS 8:00pm ??? SHOW 9:00pm
TUESDAY, MAY 21
UNIVERSAL SIGH
DOORS 11:00pm ??? SHOW 12:00am ??? FREE!
WEDNESDAY, MAY 22
CHI McCLEAN
DOORS 9:00pm ??? SHOW 10:00pm
ON THE
ROOFTOP.
mb.
THURSDAY, MAY 23
CICADA
RHYTHM
DOORS 9:00pm ??? SHOW 10:00pm ??? FREE
TUESDAY, MAY 28
OLD SK00L
TRIO
DOORS 6:00pm ??? SHOW 7:00pm ??? FREE!
WEDNESDAY, MAY 29
GIALANELLA,
WILES & HART
WITH DJ MAHOGANY
DOORS 10:00pm ??? SHOW 11:00pm ??? FREE!
COMING SOON
5/30 KITE TO THE MOON-ROOFTOP
5/31 REVEREND DeBRUHL - ROOFTOP - FREE
6/4 BLACKTAXI - ROOFTOP- FREE
6/5 KINKY WAIKIKI - ROOFTOP - FREE
6/5 REN MILLER BAND-ROOFTOP-FREE
6/6 MACHINES ARE PEOPLE TOO-ROOFTOP
6/7 TAJ MAHAL
6/7 RADIATION CITY-ROOFTOP-FREE
6/11 OLD SKOOL TRIO-ROOFTOP-FREE
6/12 KINKY WAIKIKI - ROOFTOP - FREE
6/13 CHRIS KNIGHTS EFREN
6/ID FORMER CHAMPIONS-ROOFTOP-FREE
6/19 KINKY WAIKIKI - ROOFTOP - FREE
6/19 LAUGHFEST: THE OFFICIAL ATHFEST COMEDY
SHOWCASE w/BRENDON WALSHS FRIENDS
6/21 FLAGPOLE PRESENTS: REPTAR, YIP
DECEIVER. VELVETEEN PINKS THE
DREAM SCENE
6/22 FLAGPOLE PRESENTS: DEAD
CONFEDERATE. EASTER ISLAND. BLUE
BLOOD. THE POWDER. k(v)ids
6/25 OLD SKOOL TRIO-ROOFTOP-FREE
6/26 KINKY WAIKIKI-ROOFTOP-FREE
7/3 ROOFTOP RENDEZVOUS (A BLUE AND
WHITE AFFAIR)
7/4 DUBOHIKFUHK-ROOFTOP-FREE
7/11 THE DWELLS-ROOFTOP-FREE
7/26 COSMIC CHARLIE
8/6 HANKS CUPCAKES-ROOFTOP-FREE
MAY 15, 2013 ??? FLAGP0LE.COM 27