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FARTHER ALONG
In the sunny afternoon, piano, guitar and violin fill the
house with Bach and Schubert. Later in the evening, Davis
Causey is picking his guitar and softly singing: "Show me the
way to go home. I'm tired and I want to go to bed... " He's
singing it for his brother, Joe, who lies dying. Joe's son Cole
picks up the violin and plays along as family and friends join
in the song. They segue into "I'll Fly Away" and several hymns
and even a Beatles song or two.
Joe is not conscious, but all are convinced that at some
level he is aware of the love concentrated on him during this
last night of his life. That love is a culmination of Joe's being,
a reflection of all he has given over the years to the people in
this room: strong love, uplifting love, practical love, love that
suffers long and is kind???as well as a lifetime of laughs.
Now Joe has made the transition in a few months from the
death sentence of inoperable cancer to acceptance and readi
ness to face the inevitable, as he has always addressed the
tasks that need to be done. The keys to this transition are his
former wife and steady friend Marianne May Causey and their
son, Cole. They have brought Joe home, where they can super
vise his care and allow him time to tie up the loose ends of his
life, to visit with
a stream of friends
and family, to
husband his dimin
ishing strength,
to reach the point
where he can let
go of the people
he most loves and
the life he has
looked forward to
living a lot longer.
Now, quickly,
the sunny days on
the patio are over;
the disease has
progressed, the
medicines have
picked up. Hospice
has stepped in,
and the task is no
longer to keep Joe alive but to get him out of his ruined body.
And all this love that has been such a big part of Joe's life
now becomes the vehicle for easing him out of it. This night is
a party, a living wake. Those in the room with Joe are talking
to him, stroking his arm, smoothing his hair, massaging his
feet: laughing, talking, crying. The Braves game is on, with
the sound turned down. There's pizza in the kitchen. Nobody
here has ever done anything like this in this way before. These
people who do not flinch from life are meeting death head-
on???not in the necessary sterility of a hospital room, but at
home, where so much living has happened.
Some stay through the night, sleeping watchfully. Cole
tells Joe what is happening, talking about their life together
and the life that will continue after Joe can finally let go.
And just before six o'clock in the morning, he does. His last
breath comes, and he is gone. They have brought him through.
Love has held steady in the valley of the shadow of death. Joe
has died as he has lived???on his own terms, surrounded by
music and by those he loves, feeling that love rebound to him:
strengthening, even as life weakens.
All those left behind now have to cope with the loss of
Joe's strong and caring presence. During the past months they
have staged a heroic effort for Joe; now they must do it again
for themselves. They all have to figure out how to live the
rest of their lives without Joe, without his steady hand on the
steering wheel (even when succumbing to the hijinks of "New
York Taxi").
Maybe Joe's life???how he lived???and his death???how he
died???tell us what we need to know in order to figure out how
to go on without him. Work hard. Have fun. Love your friends
and family, and take care of them. Be generous with your
resources. Do what needs to be done. Practice.
Pete McCommons editor@flagpole.com
A memorial service for Joseph S. Causey will be held at First Presbyterian
Church downtown at 4 p.m. this Saturday, July 6.
EDITOR & PUBLISHER Pete McCommons
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COVER PHOTOGRAPFT of The Athens Cowboy Choir by Tobin Brogunier
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VOLUME 27
ISSUE NUMBER 26
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