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CHAMBERLAIN SMITH
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Rain, Rain Go Away
GEORGIA RUNS OVER KENTUCKY AFTER A WET, SLOPPY FIRST HALF
By Cy Brown news@flagpole.com
Spooks and Sequels
WHAT TO WATCH WITH HALLOWEEN AROUND THE CORNER
By Drew Wheeler movies@flagpole.com
About halfway through the third quarter
of Georgia’s game against Kentucky on
Saturday, with the score tied 0-0,1 took a
break from the torrential rain with a trip to
the bathroom. When I had gone at halftime,
the men’s restroom was smack out of paper
towels thanks to copious numbers of wet
dudes coming in just to dry their hands off.
But when I returned, the paper towel dis
pensers were once again full and I was able
to dry my hands for the first time in two
hours.
I walked out of the bathroom just in
time to see D’Andre Swift begin his 39-yard
touchdown dash to put the first points of
the game on the board. I rushed forward
to the concrete barrier separating the con
course from the stands to watch him break
free and reach the end zone for six.
As soon as those points went up on the
board, the tension inside Sanford Stadium
that had been building from close to three
full quarters of scoreless football and non
stop rain was cut. Georgia fans who had
stood with their hands in their pockets and
heads down for two hours were suddenly
jumping like mad and cheering. On the way
back to my seat, I high-fived a rando who
was walking up from his seat, soaking my
hand in the process and undoing the entire
reason I had gone to the bathroom, to get a
paper towel and dry my hands.
What is the point of this story, you may
ask? Well, that was the most exciting thing
that happened in the game, and, honestly,
there isn’t much more to touch on.
Georgia ultimately beat Kentucky 21-0
and sent the Dawg fans brave and noble
enough to weather the storm—like yours
truly—home happy, albeit very, very wet.
Here is where most writers would insert a
“raining cats and dogs” joke, but I’m much
too sophisticated for such a thing. Instead,
I’ll just tell you that it was one of the dumb
est games I’ve ever witnessed in person,
and anyone who decided to sit this one out
and watch from their living room is much
smarter than I.
The rain was so bad, it rendered passing
nigh impossible. Combined, Georgia and
Kentucky passed for only 52 yards in the
game. That’s less than the total penalty
yardage in the game (92). Jake Fromm,
a week after his disastrous performance
against South Carolina, threw the ball just
12 times, but he did complete nine passes.
As difficult as it was for Georgia to pass,
Kentucky had it even tougher. The Wildcats
started third-string QB Lynn Bowden Jr.—
also one of the team’s top receivers—under
center. He attempted 15 passes, but only
completed two for a total of 15 yards. While
it was mainly the rain inhibiting Kentucky’s
passing, with the Georgia defense handing
it an assist, the Dawgs were solid against
the run. Bowden was able to rack up 99
yards, but as a team, the Cats rushed for
only 160 yards. Georgia still hasn’t allowed
a rushing touchdown this season.
The difference in the game actually came
down to punting. The two sides traded
booming punts for most of the night, but
Georgia was only able to reach the end zone
after Kentucky punter Max Duffy shanked
one 15 yards to set Georgia up at the 39
a play before Swift’s opening touchdown.
Much-maligned UGA punter Jake Camarda,
however, punted six times and averaged
52.8 yards per punt.
But Swift was the real star of the show.
The Dawgs’ talismanic tailback rushed 21
times for 179 yards and two touchdowns.
That’s 8.5 yards per game, for those who
would rather not do the math. Brian
Herrien also had another quietly strong
game, rushing for 60 yards and a touch
down on 13 carries.
If you’re looking for some grand, over
arching takeaway that tells you something
deep and meaningful about this team, you
won’t find that here. It was a crappy, rainy
game that we can all forget ever happened.
But considering we looked like we might
suffer our second upset in as many games
as late as the third quarter, I’ll happily take
that. ©
Halloween is almost here, but this week’s
wide releases are not heavy on the seasonal
scares. Filmmaker Deon Taylor releases
his second 2019 feature, Black and Blue,
a thriller starring Naomie Harris as a
rookie cop struggling with her identity as
a black woman and a police officer, while
corrupt cops hunt her down. This week’s
wide horror release, Countdown, is about
a killer app, literally, and looks silly enough
that it could work if properly balanced.
Finally, The Current War, starring Benedict
Cumberbatch as Thomas Edison and
Nicholas Hoult as his electrical rival, Nikola
Tesla, arrives with a stunningly effective
trailer and unexpectedly weak reviews.
If you are looking for scary movies on
the big screen, Cine’s Schlocktoberfest
revives 2018’s Knife+Heart Oct. 24-26,
which enticingly sounds like a French giallo
flick set in the gay porn industry. Takashi
Miike’s First Love
screens on Oct. 25 but
sounds more akin to
the prolific auteur’s
crime output than
his horror flicks. The
original Evil Dead
also screens on Oct.
25. Never fear—Cine
has some non-hor
ror for the faint of
heart. Enjoy Peter
Bogdanovich’s nearly
four-hour 2007 Tom
Petty documentary
Runnin’Down a
Dream on Oct. 26.
The dual animal docs
The Elephant Queen and Los Reyes will be
hanging around with Judy at least through
Thursday, Oct. 24.
More scares can be found this week
at Flicker. On Oct. 23, see my favorite
adaptation of Dracula, Bram Stoker’s
Dracula. On Oct. 24, Count Zapula pres
ents his annual Halloween airing of WNUF
Halloween Special, a 2013 parody of a
1987 local television expose on the super
natural. Filmed during last year’s Wild
Rumpus, Jorge Torres-Torres’ Night of the
Rumpus screens twice on Oct. 25, the day
before this year’s festival. In the intriguing
locally made horror film, unsolved murders
haunt a town’s annual Halloween celebra
tion, while something abominable grows
in a nearby creek. On Oct. 26, see why
Kathryn Bigelow’s excellent vampire west
ern Near Dark lives on lists chastising you
about the best horror flicks you have not
seen. (RIP Bill Pullman.) A1972 anthology
written by Psycho’s Robert Bloch, Asylum,
serves up scares on Oct. 28. Another killer
kid—technically, he feeds his enemies to
man-eating creatures in the woods—is on
the loose on Oct. 29 in 1981’s The Pit.
UGA’s chapter of Phi Alpha Theta gets
historically seasonal with The Witch on Oct.
28 at LeConte Hall. Tate does the time warp
again with a live performance of The Rocky
Horror Picture Show from Oct. 24-27.
The Quiltmakers of Gee’s Bend returns
to the Georgia Museum of Art on Oct. 24.
The Oglethorpe County Library shows my
least favorite Harry Potter film (it is still
not bad), Harry Potter and the Chamber
of Secrets, for Yer a Wizard! Movie Night
on Oct. 28. Now, are either of last week’s
sequels worth the time and money?
MALEFICENT: MISTRESS OF EVIL (PG) Oddly,
once freed from the narrative shackles of
Disney’s classic animated feature Sleeping
Beauty, the sequel to 2014’s Maleficent
shows far more creativity than expected.
The movie certainly separates itself from
the forgettable blockbuster that preceded it,
as well as the two glum Huntsman movies,
with a plot that shares more DNA with the
X-Men than Sleeping Beauty. I guess Disney
figured it is never too early for your first
lesson in genocide, as the crux of the plan
hatched by Michelle Pfeiffer’s evil queen
involves killing all the magical folk.
The extremely high stakes of that unjus
tified slaughter generate far more of an
emotional response than anything that
happened in the preceding movie. The film
finds far more humor in the discomfort
Maleficent generates in everyone than its
myopic slapstick. Just watch the villagers
react when she arrives for the worst fam
ily engagement dinner ever—a highlight
sequence that shows how much more enter
taining Mistress of Evil may have been had
it focused on domestic squabbles, not geno-
cidal massacres. Considering Disney is sell
ing this movie as a seasonal release, it could
have used a healthier dose of creepiness a la
a daring family flick like Return to Oz.
Z0MBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (R) Anybody
remember anything about 2009’s
Zombieland besides the Bill Murray stuff?
Double Tap assumes as much, so the mid-
and post-credits sequences send audiences
off with sweet memories of the comic fak
ing a hairball and braining zombies. What
precedes these two brief moments is pretty
amusing in its own right, even if the whole
zombie apocalypse seems so 2010. Woody
Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg and Emma
Stone remain appealing, while all-grown-up
Little Miss Sunshine Abigail Breslin is given
less to do once separated from the make
shift family. The characters may be flat and
the concept reanimated, but the sequel is
far fresher than its namesake brain eaters. ©
D’Andre Swift played like he was on water skis during Saturday night’s downpour.
Get off my lawn!
OCTOBER 23, 2019 | FLAGPOLE.COM 13