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ET ITO-V hey, bonita...
Artist-in-ATHICA Sara Hess presents “Courtside," an immersive gallery experience at the Athens Institute for
Contemporary Art through Apr. 7. Drop in during open studio hours held Fridays from 12-5 p.m.
Check out @finleylightfactory on
Instagram for updates about artists.
Mar. 27, 5-9 p.m. $3.
SPRINGTIME SIGIL SEEDS (Indie
South) This outdoor workshop
explores the relationship between
natural cycles and goals. Create a
ritual around your intentions with a
seed you plant. Mar. 29. $20. www.
theindiesouth.com
ST. JOE’S JOG 5K& FUN RUN
(Virtual) All participants receive a
T-shirt and medal. Register online.
Mar. 19-27. $30. www.active.com,
www.sjsathens.org
UGARDEN PLANT SALE (2510
S. Milledge Ave.) Shop outdoors
for medicinal, edible, native and
dye plants from UGArden Herbs,
Cherokee Moon Mixology, Gently
Herbal Skincare, Mama Bath and
Body, MEplusTEA, Roseman’s
Remedies and Heartsong Herbs.
May 1, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. www.
ugardenherbs.com
UGA THEATRE (Online) American
Fiesta tells the story of a same-sex
couple unable to get married in the
place they call home. Mar. 15-17,
8 p.m. In A Midsummer Night’s
Dream, four young lovers take to
the forest and become entangled
in a marvelous mix-up of desire
and enchantment. Mar. 25-27, 8
p.m. The Girlhood of Shakespeare's
Heroines explores the lived expe
riences of two of Shakespeare's
famous female characters. Apr.
19-21,8 p.m. www.ugatheatre.com
UUFA VIRTUAL EVENTS (Online)
"Art of UUFA'' is a virtual art exhibit,
hosted by Mark Hodges, that
includes photography, painting,
pottery and weaving. Mar. 21,
9:30 a.m. www.uuathensga.org/
stay-connected
WEST BROAD FARMERS MARKET
(300 S. Rocksprings St.) The mar
ket is open for shopping each week
from Sunday at 5 p.m. to Thursday
at 1 p.m., with a drive-through
(or walk/bike-through) pick-up on
Saturdays from 11:30 a.m.-1:30
p.m. wbfm.locallygrown.net
Kidstuff
ART CLASSES (Lyndon House
Arts Center) "Youth Virtual Class:
Bookmaking with Toni Carlucci”
for ages 7-11 is held Thursdays,
Mar. 18-Apr. 22. $36-54. 706-
613-3623
BOGART LIBRARY EVENTS (Online)
Virtual Storytimes are offered week
days at 10:30 a.m. Virtual Booktalks
featuring young adult books (Mar.
19) and adult books (Mar. 26) held
at 2 p.m. "Irish Folktales and Food”
is held Mar. 17 at 3 p.m. “KnitLits
Virtual Knitting Group” meets Mar.
18 & 25 at 6 p.m. “Grab & Go Craft
Kit for Teens: Candy Sushi Kits”
includes pick up Mar. 18-19 and
a video tutorial Mar. 19 at 7 p.m.
“Virtual Dungeons and Dragons
Club” Mar. 25, 6 p.m. www.athens
library.org
EASTER DRIVE-THRU EGGSTRAV-
AGANZA (The Village at Franklin
Grove, Bogart) Hop in your car,
bring a basket and drive through
the parking lot to receive eggs and
goodies. The event includes craft
kits from Treehouse Kid & Craft,
an appearance by the Easter Bunny
and friends, photos and more. Mar.
20, 2-5 p.m. $10/car. www.athens.
macaronikid.com
GIRLS ON THE RUN (Bishop Park,
Memorial Park or Virtual) This non
profit promotes social, emotional
and physical health of young girls.
A 10-week program runs March-
April, twice a week for 60-75 min
utes. www.girlsontherunnorthga.org
TUTORING (Online) The Athens
Regional Library System is now
offering free, live online tutoring via
tutor.com for students K-12, plus
college students and adult learners.
Daily, 2-9 p.m. athenslibrary.org
VIRTUAL SUMMER CAMPS
(Treehouse Kid and Craft) Camp
themes include woodland fairy and
gnomes, textile and fiber arts, cir
cus, pen pals, mini museum, rebel
girls, flower gardens and more.
Register online. $200/camp. www.
treehousekidandcraft.com
Support Groups
AL-ANON 12 STEP (Multiple
Locations) Recovery for people
affected by someone else’s
drinking. Visit the website for a
calendar of electronic meetings
held throughout the week. www.
ga-al-anon.org
RECOVERY DHARMA (Recovery
Dharma) This peer-led support
group offers a Buddhist-inspired
path to recovery from any addiction.
Visit the website for info about
Zoom meetings. Thursdays, 7-8
p.m. FREE! www.athensrecovery
dharma.org
ZOOM INN (Online) Nugi’s Space
holds weekly meetings on Thurs
days for people to drop by and say
hi virtually. Email lesly@nuci.org
Word on the Street
ACRONYM (Athens, GA) ACRONYM
is a new website compiling COVID-
19 aid for Athens-based live music
venues and artists. Check the
website for updated listings on
funding and financial opportunities,
mental health guides, organizational
support, community resources and
more. Visit acroynym.rocks
SUMMER STAFF (Athens, GA) The
Athens-Clarke County Leisure
Services Department is now hiring
for approximately 120 summer
positions including camp coun
selors, lifeguards and pool clerks.
www.accgov.com/jobs
VIC CHESTNUT SONGWRITER
OF THE YEAR AWARD (Athens,
GA) The Classic City Rotary is
now accepting nominations for
local musicians in the categories
of “career” and “play for fun.”
Deadline Mar. 22. Awards event
May 6 at Creature Comforts, www.
vicchesnuttaward.com ©
They Call Me the Wanderer
ADVICE FOR ATHENS’ LOOSE AND UNVACCINATED
By Bonita Applebum advice@flagpole.com
Hey Bonita!
I know I’m not the only one, hut my life
changed a lot when COVID hit. I’m in sales,
and my job used to have me traveling a lot
around North Georgia to keep up client rela
tionships and make new ones, personally deliv
ering orders sometimes, stuff like that. Well,
I’m not doing my job like that anymore, and
now we handle pretty much everything online
with our clients and orders, and it was a big
change, but I am honestly enjoying it. The type
of sales I do requires me to be really sociable
and indulgent to a business’s
needs, and that used
to include doing a
little hit of wining
and dining of
clients if we
saw fit.
Nothing
outra
geous, but I do
miss taking folks
out to breweries and
stuff like that. I guess I
didn’t realize how outgoing I was
until it stopped being a requirement of my job. I
still have good sales numbers, and I love my job
a lot, but lately I’ve been dreaming of the return
to in-person work. (Andyes, I will begetting
vaccinated as soon as I can figure out how.)
Here’s the real issue: I really miss traveling
and face-to-face work because I could get laid
really easily. I am an honorable salesman,
though. I have never flirted with a client to
make a sale, but instead I would “pull” a sexy
local girl with the intention of just having a fun
night wherever I was. I use Tinder some, but
what I enjoy most is meeting someone new and
seeing where it goes, live and in person. I pretty
much deleted all of my dating apps when the
pandemic first hit because I didn’t think it was
worth the risk, and here we are a year later,
and it still doesn’t seem like a good idea to “go
fishing” on the floor of a crowded downtown
bar. Plus, I like meeting people out of town
because it’s less complicated after. I just hope
that soon enough people are vaccinated (myself
included) that we can go back to our normal
ways of living.
What do I do in the meantime? I’ll just say
it: I need to get laid! I wanna go out and meet
someone, have our fun and that’s that, but
I’m not dumb enough to think I can do that in
these current times.
Thanks,
Sex-Positive Salesman
Hey there, Salesman,
DANG, boo! Wanna switch careers with
me? I wish my line of work came with guar
anteed opportunities for cruising! I love
your sex-positive attitude, and I assume
that you are open and honest with your
partners when it comes to your approach to
casual sex. I feel like I should congratulate
you on being happy and enjoying your job
and knowing what you want!
The dating apps are all poppin’ like the
club right now, and DM-sliding is rampant
among the lusty masses. You’re right that
there’s a risk involved with
meeting anyone in
person right
but
it’s a risk
you have
to be willing
to take if you’re
really trying to have
sex during a pandemic.
The only way to guarantee
non-exposure would be to only sleep with
women who have been in strict isolation
after a negative COVID-19 test. I suspect
they would be hard to come by, but you
should ask questions and at least make sure
that your potential dates aren’t anti-mask
ers or types who put others at risk for their
own pleasure.
I think you already have the best idea
in mind, and that is to get vaccinated as
soon as you can. As of Mar. 15, the state
of Georgia is only vaccinating health-care
workers, other first responders, residents
and staff of long-term care facilities, adults
over 55 and those with certain medical
conditions, K-12 educators and staff, adults
with intellectual and developmental disabil
ities and their caregivers, and parents of
children with complex medical conditions.
Those groups may or may not include trav
eling salespersons or randy advice colum
nists, so hold tight for your turn, and go
ahead and start flirting with a few babes
over an app. You can find women who pre
fer your same no-strings arrangement by
being clear about that in your dating pro
files. Good luck! ©
Need advice? Email advice@flagpole.com or
use our anonymous online form at flagpole.com/
get-advice.
now,
MARCH 17, 2021 | FLAGPOLE.COM 13