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Athens PRIDE Pivots
THE WEEK-LONG CELEBRATION GARRIES ON
By Sam Lipkin editorial@flagpole.com
EEDE^ hey, bonita...
My Relationship Lost Its Spark
ADVICE FOR ATHENS’ LOOSE AND LOVELORN
By Bonita Applebum advice@flagpole.com
B etter late than never is a motto many
beloved Athens festivals have adopted
this year, and after canceling several events
including the traditional street festival,
Athens PRIDE has likewise resurrected
its annual celebrations in a new fashion.
PrideFest will be held at Terrapin Brewing
Co. on Saturday, Nov. 13 from 12-8 p.m.
This comes near the end of a full week of
celebrations currently underway.
The volunteer-based Athens PRIDE
board voted to cancel the street festival to
be held on the same date after putting in
most of the work required to organize it.
Jarrett Martin, president of Athens PRIDE,
says that this decision was made based on
the board’s inability to block off the street
in compliance with Athens-Clarke County
and monitor entry into the festival area, in
addition to hearing word that ACC was not
likely going to grant the necessary permit—
the same fate that befell AthFest. (However,
COVID levels have fallen in recent weeks to
the point that the permit would have been
approved.) The smaller events throughout
the week were guaranteed because it is
manageable to enforce COVID protocols for
entry, such as requiring proof of vaccina
tion or a negative COVID test.
When Martin reached out to one of
Athens PRIDE’s largest sponsors, Terrapin
Brewing Co., to explain the festival can
celation, Terrapin offered to host a similar
event at the brewery. Moving locations
allowed for COVID entry protocols and
the creation of a safer environment. “Our
community is good about being good cit
izens and following these guidelines that
are put out by the CDC,” says Martin. So
quick planning began for PrideFest, which
includes many of the traditional street
festival’s elements and activities: nearly
50 local vendors, artists, a drag show, live
music, performances by Canopy Studio and
more. Performances
kick off at 4 p.m. with
Taylor Alxndr, Linqua
Franqa, Convict Julie
and more, followed by
a drag show at 6:30
p.m. curated by Alex
Suarez and Femme
Haus. Later that
night at the 40 Watt
Club, Femme Haus is
hosting a drag show
featuring Kandy
Muse of “RuPaul’s
Drag Race” at 9 p.m.
sponsored by Athens
PRIDE.
Although there are
many familiar faces
on the lineup, this
will be Convict Julie’s
first time performing
at a PRIDE event. “Performing at PrideFest
is meaningful to me, because it allows me
to show up with and for the LGBTQ+ com
munity in solidarity with representation
and visibility,” says Camilla Sims, who per
forms as Convict Julie. “I’m glad there is
still something happening for the LGBTQ+
community, because we need that, and we
need that as safely as possible.” Another key
event with the goal of creating safe spaces
is the Queer Prom, started several years ago
by Martin for those who might not have
been able to take their ideal date to their
high school prom or even go at all due to
being queer. “It’s normally not during the
week of PRIDE, it’s normally during high
school prom season,” says Martin. “I just
thought it was really important for that to
happen, even if it’s after the fact.”
If you’ve missed the Athens PRIDE
events so far this week, there are a variety
of events still happening around town
through Sunday. For more information,
visit athenspride.org. ©
Linqua Franqa, who will perform at PrideFest Nov. 13, performing at the
2019 Athens PRIDE Festival.
Wednesday, Nov. 10
Karaoke with PRIDE!
9 p.m. at Buvez
Vaccination or negative COVID test required
Thursday, Nov. 11
Variety Show
7:30 p.m. at Athentic Brewing Co.
Mask required
Friday, Nov. 12
Third Annual Queer Prom
8 p.m. at Cine
Vaccination or negative COVID test required
Saturday, Nov. 13
PrideFest
12-8 p.m. at Terrapin Brewing Co.
Vaccination or negative COVID test required
Saturday, Nov. 13
Femme Haus Pride Drag Show
9 p.m. at 40 Watt Club
Vaccination or negative COVID test required
Sunday, Nov. 14
Urban Outfitters Event
12-4 p.m. at Urban Outfitters
Mask required
big
plus is
that you
clearly love
and respect
your partner and
aren’t thinking of this
dearth of intimacy as a deal-
breaker. Because it’s definitely not—a lot of
happy, comfy long-term couples will hit a
dry spell after a certain amount of years.
Sexual desire certainly ebbs and flows
for those of us who experience such desire,
and too often that can come with offense
or hurt feelings from the people we’re dat
ing. I’m glad that isn’t the case for you or
your boo, but I would definitely suggest
broaching the subject of intimacy and get
ting some good-natured and light-hearted
conversations going on the topic. Find out
where your partner is right now with their
own desires and share your own thoughts
and feelings on getting back in the sack
with them. Maybe your self esteem or body
images have changed over the years, or
It
doesn’t
have to
be whips
and chains
or anything over
the top. Maybe start a
weekly movie night where
you watch something titillating, but more
kitschy than pornographic, like Wild Orchid
or Nowhere. I don’t get the sense that you
actually want to break up, but that’s also a
valid choice if you decide to make it, while
it’s definitely not my recommendation.
Unfurling your life from that of a years-long
partner is difficult, but that’s no reason not
to initiate a breakup. I think that you and
your partner may be able to find some com
mon ground on which you can move for
ward, but that’s going to have to start with
honesty and fearlessness in the face of this
possibly awkward task. Maybe start with a
serious conversation, setting of intention
and Blue Is The Warmest Color. Whatever
turns you on. ©
maybe work/school/life has gotten so hectic
that it makes you both dry as sand. There’s
probably a reason that the intimacy has
waned for you both, and figuring out what
changed is a great first step to correcting
the issue.
Do you cuddle the way you used to?
What about other intimate but non-sexual
stuff like hand-holding or goodbye kisses?
Have you gone on any dates recently? I
would recommend recreating the settings
where you first started making eyes at
each other, whether that was at a concert
or a lecture or a favorite local watering
hole. Some couples find that they can reig
nite intimacy by specifically making time
for it—I have a ex who banged me every
Thursday and every Thursday only, and the
sex was always outstanding. I had some
thing to look forward to every week, and it
was exciting to find ways to surprise each
other and mix things up. It made for great
weekday flirting, and most of that flirting
would eventually give way to fun conversa
tions that kept our connection feeling fresh.
Some couples will also cultivate a sexy
new interest or hobby that
can fire them
both up.
Hey Bonita,
Long story short, I have a great partner,
except I don’t feel any intimate feelings for
them. We’ve been together almost five years,
and we’ve built a really nice life together. I do
love them very much, and they make me happy.
But it’s come to the point where my lack of
intimate feelings and affection makes this feel
more like a best friendship than a romantic
relationship. I’m just not sure how sustainable
that is long-term, but thinking about breaking
up now also feels impossible. Everything about
our lives is intertwined. I need help making
sense of what’s realistic or how I can get those
intimate feelings that seem like the missing
puzzle piece to something really perfect.
Lacking Intimacy
Dear Lacking Intimacy,
Full disclosure: I am a big baby who loves
to walk away from difficult situations, and
that means that I’ve never been in a rela
tionship that lasted as long as yours has.
I want to be upfront about having never
shared that intensely with a partner before
I dive into my advice. I
don’t think that
you are describ
ing a situation
that can’t be
salvaged,
and a
8
FLAGPOLE.COM | NOVEMBER 10, 2021