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ir.Ei:mimiir» flag football
One More Time
GEORGIA HAS A GOOD CHANCE TO REPEAT AS CHAMPIONS
By Cy Brown news@flagpole.com
hey, bonita...
In Love With Marriage Anxiety
ADVICE FOR ATHENS'LOOSE AND LOVELORN
By Bonita Applebum advice@flagpole.com
Many memories from the national cham
pionship game last year will stick with me
forever: Jalen Carter’s blocked field goal.
AD Mitchell’s go-ahead touchdown. Kelee
Ringo’s interception, of course. Counting
down the seconds to the final whistle, then
hugging every stranger wearing red and
black within reach.
But one moment that’s come back to my
mind in recent weeks happened right after
the game, as we walked through that bitter
cold Indianapolis night. “At least it won’t be
this cold in Los Angeles next year,” said one
Alabama fan to another, referring to the
site of this year’s College Football Playoff
National Championship Game.
and earn a spot in the playoff field regard
less of what happens against LSU.
That’s a testament to what Kirby Smart
has built. This is the fifth time Smart has
won the East in his seven seasons. He’s also
won 10 games in five of his seven seasons.
The only exceptions were his first season
and the COVID-shortened 2020 season. We
are in the Golden Age of Georgia football;
long may it continue.
I’m not prepared to say we’ve usurped
Alabama as the top program in college foot
ball. Rumors of Nick Saban’s demise have
been greatly exaggerated before. But there’s
no denying the results. We won the title
last year, and have arguably the best shot of
Play it again, Kirby.
I remember thinking, that sounds about
right. The Tide had Bryce Young and Will
Anderson for another season, while the
Dawgs were about to lose the core of the
team—15 players, to be precise—to the
NFL. Alabama was better positioned than
Georgia to make a run in 2022,1 thought.
So did almost everyone else.
Turns out both I and the random
Alabama fan in a parking lot in Indianapolis
were dead wrong. Alabama has suffered two
losses and won’t even make it to Atlanta
out of the SEC West. The Dawgs, mean
while, are 10-0 and secured a second con
secutive SEC East crown with a 45-19 win
over Mississippi State in Starkville.
None of this was meant as a slight
against Alabama—though you should feel
free to take it that way—but rather an
illustration of how relatively unexpected
Georgia’s run this season has been. It’s not
the fact that Georgia is 10-0 or won the
SEC East that’s surprising. It’s that Georgia
looks like the best team in the country,
and the Alabama boogeyman will be sitting
at home for both the SEC Championship
Game and the College Football Playoffs. The
Dawgs will play a two-loss LSU under a new
head coach, Brian Kelly, in Atlanta. And
leaving the SEC Championship Game aside
completely, Georgia only needs to beat
Kentucky in Lexington and Georgia Tech in
Athens to finish 12-0 in the regular season
any team left in contention to win it again.
So while this season may have begun as a
rebuilding year, that ain’t what it is any
more. We’re on the hunt for another title.
As great a job as he did last year, this
year has the chance to be Smart’s greatest
achievement yet. It’s difficult to overstate
just how much sheer talent and experience
was lost from last season’s team, as well
as the leadership from players like Nakobe
Dean, Jamaree Salyer and Jordan Davis.
There was a brain drain on the coaching
staff, as well, with Dan Lanning moving to
the big chair at Oregon, Cortez Hankton
heading home to LSU and Matt Luke retir
ing to spend more time with his family.
Despite all that, Georgia has a rare
opportunity. Only a handful of programs
have won consecutive consensus national
championships. Alabama did it last in 2011
and 2012, when Smart was a defensive
coordinator under Saban. Before that, you
have to go back to the legendary Nebraska
teams in 1994 and 1995.
So when you talk about back-to-back
title-winners, you’re talking about dynas
ties, the greatest teams and the best pro
grams in the history of the sport. If the
Dawgs do pull this off—still a big “if” with
five games to go—we won’t need to have
any conversations about whether Georgia’s
usurped Alabama as the top program in the
country, because it’ll be a stone-cold fact. ©
Hey Bonita,
I’m not sure if this counts as a fear of com
mitment, but I have serious marriage anxiety.
I’ve been with my partner for six years, our
lives are very intertwined, and we basically
act/function like a married couple already.
Everything has been fine as is, but I think my
partner is ready for the next step... and when
I seriously think about getting engaged or
married, I’m actually overcome with absolute
dread. Like stomach hurts, head swims. It’s at
the point where if we’re in a situation I think
they might try to pop the question, I’ll start
acting strange and do any
thing to get out of the
situation. I love this
person; I want to be
with them. Just
“marriage”
totally
during intimate moments.
I would hope that you two have already
had this conversation after six years of
going steady, but it sounds like you haven’t
if you’re worried that they would propose
to you out of nowhere. I know a few people
who have been ambushed in this way, and
I can see that we share the perspective that
surprise proposals are intimidating, intense
and ultimately rather inappropriate. It can
feel manipulative if a person suddenly pops
the question in front of others, and I think
that’s a pretty bad way to get a marriage
started. Most surprise proposals that we
see on the internet happen
between couples
that have
already
freaks me
out. I don’t
think marriage
really means any
thing to me, but that
doesn’t explain why I’d have such
negative feelings. I figured I just wouldn’t care
either way. I don’t want to ruin my relation
ships because of this, and I don’t know how to
move forward in my life.
Anonymous
Hey Anon,
If you’re so concerned about this that
it causes physical symptoms of anxiety
and makes you act weird towards your
loved one, then I’d say that it’s time for
a conversation about the issue with your
partner. Wait until you’re feeling calm and
have your thoughts collected about the
topic, and then kindly ask your boo if they
want to chat about your perspectives on it.
Definitely don’t blurt it all out in a moment
of tension—we would hate to see a nervous
outburst snowball into a blowout. I think
that a couple must have very similar, if not
the same, values and perspectives about
life-changing things like marriage and
children and buying a home if they truly
have a future together, and you may already
have an idea whether or not your partner
is down to rent forever or be a parent. The
marriage conversation can be tricky because
some folks react strongly to the idea, for
better or worse. I think that you need to
get clear on what your partner’s plans are
for the future so you’ll stop getting shifty
discussed
marriage and
knew it was
in the cards for
them, and the actual
moment of question
popping is the only surprise
involved. As a matter of fact, I can’t think
of a single engaged couple that I know
currently where getting married wasn’t a
mutual decision borne of regular conver
sations. Honestly, I just don’t think that
surprise proposals are as cute or romantic
as pop culture would want us to believe, and
I hope your boo has at least picked up on
their partner’s aversion to this kind of rom-
com behavior.
Marriage is a legal agreement that will
get you a couple of tax breaks but also
cause you to take on your partner’s debt.
Personally, I don’t see it as an essential
part of a long-term relationship, and I’m
not alone in that at all. It sounds to me like
you’re happy and very much in love with
your partner, and that you’re not inter
ested in changing your long-established
relationship dynamic. You don’t need to be
able to call it a marriage to be fulfilled, and
I think you’ll rest a lot easier once you find
out whether your partner feels the same.
There’s nothing wrong with being happy
with how things are and not wanting to
change them. Isn’t that what we’re all striv
ing for anyway? ©
Need advice? Email advice@flagpole.com, or use
our anonymous online form at flagpole.com/get-
advice.
N0VEMBER 16, 2022- FLAGPOLE.COM 13