Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

THE SOUTHERN WORLD, DECEMBER 1, 1882, 47 * Instructing tbe Stranger. In the smoking room of the sleep!ng coach of Tuesday’s overland train, the conversation turned on fleas. There was an Englishman there. He was so fresh that he looked as if he had just been picked. He said: “What are these fleas they have in Cali* fornia?’’ It was so good a chance that all the Cali fornians looked at each other. Nobody wanted to pick it up without deliberation, and there was silence for sixty entire sec onds. Then a 49er who used to go swim ming on Montgomery street, took his cigar out of his mouth, and everybody waited with concealed anxiety. “Their bite is not fatal except in the fall,” he said, with appropriate solemnity, “ and even then there is no trouble about it if you attend to it in time.” “But how do you protect yourself ? I un derstand the blarsted insects are numerous, you know ?” “Dogs. Plain, simple yellow dogs,” the pioneer answered. “Yon see, there’s a nat ural affinity between a flea and a dog, and if a flea is wandering around loose and sees a dog, be can’t help going right up to him and riding him. Whenever we get a room in which we find fleas sing we just put a dog in the center and wait. In less than five min utes you will see every flea in the room hop ping towards him and getting upon bis back. Why, I've seen a dog get so full of fleas in five minutes that they couldn’t get a foot hold. They’d slip off as he walked and have to help hold each other on. In that case you have to pop’em over with a parlor rifle.” “But it’s hard on the blarsted dogs, you know, isn’t it?” “Oh no. They’re trained up to it. Be sides, it’s very easy to clean ’em off a dog,” “How?” “Just wait till he’s charged and put him in a tub of water, leading his head out. All the fleas will slide right up and roost between his ears. When you’ve counted and seen they’re all on his head just cut the head off and throw it away, and ” There was a wild, unearthly yell that shat tered the windows and tore the roof from its fastening, but the Englishman did not laugh. He did not even smile. He went out on the platform at Reno, and offered fabulous money for a yellow dog.—The Wasp. and then wiping them in an off hand man ner on the table cloth. Then I asked the servant to bring in that dark hen we order ed, so that we might have an abundance of dark meat. If the servant says there is none, I smile and tell the guests that the brunette chicken, by some oversight, has been eaten in tbe kitchen, and I shall have to give them such relics as may be at hand. This sim plifies the matter, and places me in a far more agreeable place relative to the com pany. My great success, however, in carv ing is mainly confined to the watermelon. The watermelon does not confuse me. I al ways know where to find the joints, and those who do not like the inside of the mel on can have the outside. Now, my great trouble, with fowls is, that one day I have Nebraska chicken and the next trip I have to assassinate a Mormon Shanghai pullet, with expressive hip-bones and amalgam paletot. This makes me nervous, because they are so dissimilar and their joints are in different places. The Mormon hen is round-shoul dered and her collar bone is more on tbe bias than the Nebraska fowl. This gives a totally different expression to her features in death, and, as I have said, destroys the symmetry of thecarve. I began my education in this line by carv ing butter in hot weather, and gradually led up to the quail on toast. In carving the quail, first mortgage your home and get the quail. The quail should be cooked before carving, but not until the chronometer bal ance and other organs have been removed. Place your quail on r the toast in a sitting po sition, then passing the dissecting knife down between the shoulder blades, dissect the po lonaise. Another method is to take the quail by the bind leg and eat it, asking the guests to do the same. This breaks up the feeling of stiffness that is apt to prevail at a formal dinner party, and while each one has his or her nose immersed in quail, good feelings cannot fail to show itself.—Bill Nye. Leading Numbers: 14, 048,130, 333, 161. A Soliloquy on Curving. Speaking about carving, there is a prospect now that in our best circles, within a short time, the old custom of making the host de molish the kiln-dried poultry at dinner will *become extinct, and that a servant at a side hoard, on a small salary will take a hand saw and a can of nitroglycerine and shatter the remains, thus giving the host a chance to chat with his guests instead of spattering -them with dressing and casting gloom and gravy over the company. This is a move for which I have long con tended. It places the manual labor of a dinner where it belongs, and relieves a man who should give his whole attention to the entertainment of his friends at the table. You would notexpect your host totakeoffhis coe.t and kill the’fowl in your presence in order to show you that it was all on the square, and it is not customary to require the proprietor of the house to peel the pota toes at the table for his guests to prove that there is no put-up job about it. Therefore I claim that the lamented hen may be thoroughly shattered at a side table by an athlete at four dollars per week, and still good faith toward the guests be main tained. If any one be doubtful or suspicious, etiquette will permit him to stand by the side of the hireling carver and witness the inquest. Still it would be better fun for him to sit at the table, and if the parts given him are not satisfactory, he can put them in his over-shoes pro tern, and casually throw them out the back door whil. the other guests are listening to the “Maidltm’s Prayer” in the parlor. Under the new deal the host will enjoy the dinner much more than he used to with his thumb cut off and a quart of dressing in his s lap. No man feels perfectly at home if he has to wrap up his cut finger in a rag and then scoop a handful of dressing out of his vest pocket and return it to the platter. Few men are cool enough to do this, laughing heartily all the time and telling some mirth- provoking anecdote meantime. It is also annoying to have twenty guests ask for the “dark meat please,”. when there are only three animals cooked and neither one of them had a particle of dark meat about her person. Lately I have adopted the plan of segregating the fowl by main strength, using the fingers when necessary, For Sale by all Stationers. THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO., 1 ■Works, Camden, N. J. 26 John St., New York. LILIPUTIAN BAZAAR. EVERY CHILD should wear our “ Perfect” Waist*. They support tho clothing directly from tbe shoulders, and far surpass all others tn comfort, perfection in fit and beauty of shape. We fur nish everything for children's wear. cfliiurcn • mur, HI if I Hors’, Girls’ and 11 HIU Babies' Clothing, Including every ar ticle required for complete outfits for nil ages up to 18 years. Better stiles better nisde, belter flttlng.thancanbo ‘ ib had elsewhere, and „ _ lower prices. Mail trdere have careful attention. Catalogues freo. JEST £ GO a Bet-5th & 6th Avis! H» Yi Baax Uobss on Stum rowan- WELL AUGER AND DRILLS. Ruit's Eagle Machine, complete, with horao-power, MO lb. drill, two A-inch Z bit*, and 2U0 ft. ropo, $450. ry machine guaranteed, and men sent to set up and test before payment. fciTOrdor machines direct, or fend for circulars. Mention tkitpuper. 0. RUST, St Joseph, Mo. UWI.UJVO eum VUSUW SUU nd three So. stamp, for Treat- Erenr page a Jewel of hope.- r. CLEGG, Cleveland, O. THE MILLER CO. Manufacturers of TUB TOBBBNT AMO UNIQUE IN- DXPBNDKNT BOILKB FEED STEAM PUMPS, CANTON, OHIO. for Farm and Traction Engln Also make a epcclnlty of kinds of caaUngs. Send to 1883 Catalogue. Development of Southern Industries! NEW DRES8. NEW WRITERS, NEW ARTISTS. PULL of NEW LIFE AND VIOOR FOR 1883. AGRICULTURIST ttSTTHE CHEAPEST JOURNAL IN THE WORLDS It exposes nil nnmbagg. It Instructs nnd entertains every member of tho family. It Is a complcto galdo for Gardening and Fruit Growing, and full of Valuable Hints on Cotton and Hugar Culture. .of South Carotins, 1 Dr. D. K. SALMON, engaged by tho Government in the inertisation of Important —terimmrv subjects In tho Southern States, who will contribute tho results of tbor experience and reaearchea. Members of tho Edit; --------- States, gath-ring value! gentlemen Interested In tbe dtsshp. ns to add these new f A in i of Southern Fruits and Vegetables for Northern marl Senators LAMAR (Mira.) andGORDON (Go.) — turn of Unihern indtairin, who havo called npoo us, have li . , __ which will hereafter make the Amuuoah AouicuLTumrr Invaluable in every Souther) nearly 100 oolumnsot original matter and from M to 75 original Illustrations In every numl ItTScnd stnmp for December Issue—TUB GREAT NUMBER FOR THE SOUTII. ttr GERMAN AGRICULTURIST, tho only purely German Agricultural Journal In thoU.& a; I ooptea (8.00; post-free. Every a perfoct rlato copy of Durax's last greet pointing h Is valued ot 85,000, nnd l« pronounced by Causes Aon, so well is a gnat educator. _ J5R receives i_ "IN THE MEADGW^Aho original of which L ... and other leading artists aa a beautiful picture, a Elegant premium list with gnat Inducements forcluba sent freo on application. ORANGE JUDD CO.. No. 751 Broadway, Now York. PIV VALUABLE PRE- THE PRICE OF ONE, AND OlA MIUMS FREE! TWO PAPERS 0liE YEAR F0R 'TUBmM litkii iv’• IIP!I1 1L?S-iLii;-; > .i-iiin. I ^ [lcr <c ‘ o / T " ,r,m ' KkT,,!,T "“ »«*«*'«atono*euiii,„Jioth “The Cricket on the Hearth »ml Cotta** and Farm for One Y ear* and we tHU alto eend, Free and Ami-Arid, Mx Yiilnn!.h« iiml I acini Premium*, «i* MW*; 1- r.li cunt Photograph Album, llouml In Velvet. I This album is bound in Jins volvci. nu t has mi rh-evnt Moral h design workrl in silk ujhui one of lltr covers. It holds full- already mammoth circulation*, wo now make the following Grand 8|>c<'l«M>n’cr to New Subacrlber*: Vpon receipt book. 2. Gentleman** Fob Chain. The prevailing fashion In gentlemen'* watch chalna I* the fob. The one w« offer I* composed or a handsome black silk ribbon, with gold, plated trimmings and ornamentation*. It 1* something that ewjr gentleman should have. 3. Keif-Winding Tape Measure. Kverybody knows what a tape meaaureli llrantlful Imitation Colored Porcelain Pin. tlfully colorr anch. and Is Terr stylish and handsome. There Is nothing about it to tarnish, and It will wear for years, ft. rr Kina. This ring is soluble for lady or gentleman. Ills made ofcanielUn. and has gold-plated top and namt landtome, and there is nothing about it to tarnish or wear out. 6. Pocket Map of the llnlted Htatca s and branch.: very^jandsoro?,* and* there*!* nothing about It to urn I ah or wear oat. ft. Pocket Mmpot the X’nlted Ht **^*J*^* dar tor 1HH8. A oorrect and finely ooiored reaper the w hois United States, sod a Calendar tbe IW3. A veer useful article to carry In the pocket, and valuable for reference. Remember, upon receipt of only one dol.ar we willi send both The Cuckbt on tmi Hearth and Corraoa and Kan* for on* year, likewise all the premlom*, si* In number, above described. These premiums are all artlc ea of genuine merit, valuable and useful—we offer nothing cheap or worthless. Th« Catcurr on tun Hbanth Is a large Ift-page, fttcolumn paper, handsomely printed, profusely Illustrated, and Ailed with charming 8erlal and Short Stories, Sketches, poems, Iteful Koowl* edge, Reading for the Young, Wit and Humor, etc. Correas and Kan* contains eight Urge pages, and la' demoted to Agriculture, Horticulture, Hints for Housekeepers, Ladles' Pancy Work, and other practical subjects, and Is likewise beautiAillv illustrated. Thesa two papers furnish amusement, entertainment and Instruction for the whole fanHIjr. They are Just what is needed in every household. We whs this unprecedented offer In order to secure new subscribers tor IWO. Will you not take advantage of lit It Is certainly the greatest bargain ever ottered, and such an opportunity may not eoon occur again. The six premium* will make elegant Christtnaa presents, while tbe paper* will delight you tor a year to come. A dollar her* Invested will be wisely spent. Ns guarani,, ptr/tet *<if. i,/action or will cheerfully refund the money. Being an old-established and well-known home, we cannot afford to misrepresent our goods or publications, or offer more than we can faithfully carry out. t ^ n L u, « V ".T y »° U m p * lr » • Mh *‘*!r‘*oe S-th# two pap*-- with the premiums, free/ Write to dapt Address,g. H. MOOUK, Publisher. 8 Park Platt*. New V or Moat Exioiislvo Pnithbrcd Live Slock Katnbl (aliment In (he Worltl. CLYDESDALE HORSES, PERCHERON-NORMAN HORSES, TrottinK-ltrc«l Roadsters, Holstein ttml Devon Cattle. Our cuatonieni have the advantage of our many f enm’ expvrlvnce In breeding and Importing ante rallretlona, opportunity of eoiitpnrltit; dtfftrvnt breed*, ton- prlee. becauao ol extent ar bnaliieu and Inn rate ot transportation. Cat alogue free. Correjjantdeuce JoHcBed.,^ SprliiBboro, Crawford C'o„ Pa. Mention South BUN Would. I LOOK! LOOK! I W* call tha attention of Agents, Housekeepers, end I all in need of a Good Spoon to our new [Silver Steel Spoons! 1 "hfr or. an artlcl. tha, agint. can rain moan jeaetsA pO -i®™? covered metal known aa ^platlnide, whkhso Hly resemble* silver as to baffle some of the best Igas. Theta spoons are warranted not to tarnish or n color, and to always look as well as coin silver, I and wear much better than ordinary plated goods cost- fl log six time* tha price. Wishing to pkuw sample* in I every house In the land, w* have put the price way I down. I sample set ot fi Teatpoonft, by mall, poeft- I paid, 24c.; a •ample sets, $|.00, | v, wia | S <X)„ P. 0. BOX 8830, B08T0H, MISS. FAMOUS S5.WATCHES weed.) ar* mad* o f the a •f the best Americas Lever PatUm, liable, aad have tbe mat I registered rkraa Lever PatUm. Theyaredurableandre- r tbe appearance ofa 92^0 gold watch. Beatty aa rewipt ef|5 aad ft three eeat sump*. Ad- I JKWKLRY CO. Importer*. SI Arcade, Ola- M Artificial Limbs. Prices greatly reduced. Satisfaction guaranteed. U. S. Soldiers furnished on Government orders. Address. B. MATTHEWS. Cor, 4th Avc. and Market Sl, Louisville, Ky. Advcrtbcmentl Splendid imekeeper. In order to advartisn HOV8E AND HOME, aad sec*re tub- scribm promptly, we have decided to make the following most princely and magnificent offer to each and every reader of this paper: It Is the common prnetlce of the gold and silver refiner* of England and bwitserl md to purchss* from the p«wubrokers of their respective c nintriet all the peld and silver weUbcswIiUk hive been unredeemed, s'tnply (oe Ike sate of the gold end silver cases. Tho works ar* then s-’.d to a celebrated watch firm who havemedeasprchltv o this busiaeai. 1 his Irm places the works In the hand* of skilful workmen, who set lo work aud put thorn la M good conditio* as )*os lb!*. Three works embrace every variety o> movemtn ',soir* of them being very flue aad reflect timekeepers. IPs haoejnet / ureiated tie entire 0tH‘) of a banhruptcoa- cemofthe above described watches it less than lb* lint cost of lbs raw mvlerisl. On receipt of |I.W> the su’iicrlpilon price of IIOU8K AND HOME, sad $1 to extra to pey tor packing, poeUg*, snd register- Ing.wewl.lsendllOU^B A YI> HO.MK/or on* y*»r (5* aamhers) and one of these wetche*.;«*(paid,l4 anva-ldr*e« in the Ualud State*. Watcbci mailed tho day t he order is received. Thewaickoa were purr bee d specially to go with IIOll.^K AND HOME, aad will bo farnhhed on'y to the subscribers to that publication, la order to Introduce U at once w* make this unusual offer, which coaid not hi made were it not tor the fact that we bought the w tehee at one-ouarter coat of manufacture. On receiptor Vi cents ctra we will Lend cur new and elegsat watch ehsln with a vvhUtlc charm sail deg call attach- an*nt—Just the thing lor hunters aad sporting nun. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED. Re member, say one sending us mosey for 1IOU8K AN D HOME oe th» above offer, who e^n Lmttllp **y tl^.t theyaro sol satlsied with thalr bargain, can bav* their money cbeeriully reloaded. Address METKOPOLITAN ITBLIMHNG CO., •ft* llroailwaj. New York City, S. Y. uewapsper, l« oao or the be»tai*«l maatclceiuitly It. laatratom weekly wew*»aiH'r«ur the duy, lullofN ewa. Art, Nclcnce, rs*fcl«, Mt»lc* Poetry, Charailaw Morice, Wit and Humor, leetol knowledge, nnd AjMsemeat fop oveir American tectorial history of tho world IVo right bcautininy .tllaatratcd Jga Uurpwr'a or J the world IVom week i lluatritlcd page*—«umi i illustrated wcchlka.