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Statistics show that there are 132,000
churches, 92,000 ministers, and 19,00o,
000 members in the United States.
Leading British military authorities say
that England’s war resources are not
sufficient to withstand attack from for¬
eign foes. _
The Dakota farmers who have survived
the blizzard are happy in the thought
that the moisture from the heavy snow
fall will give the early wheat a good
start.
Mr. Froude, the English historian, in
& recent work asserts that the retrogres¬
sion of Jamaica and other British pos¬
sessions in the West Indies has been so
rapid that the Government is seriously
asked to govern these places by commis¬
sion.
A scientist claims that the bituminous
coal field known as the Pittsburg is
practically inexhaustible, according to
the exploration. There are 10,000,000
bushels of coal in the barges at Pittsburg
awaiting transportation as soon as the
rivers are navigable to the south and
Westward.
Game Warden Collins, of Connecticut,
comes to the defence of owls and hawks
by saying that the examination of over
200 specimens of these birds by miscro
scopists proves that they live on small
birds, frogs, snakes, mice and grasshop¬
pers. The “small birds” are mostly
sparrows, and very few game birds are
eaten.
There is a marked dectease of mar
riages in England and Wales, In 1853
the number of persons married was at
the rate of 17.9 per 1,000 of the popula¬
tion. This was the highest rate since
1838. In 1882 the ratio had dropped to
15.5, and from that period there has
been a continual decline, last year show¬
ing a ratio as low as 14.1, compared with
14.4 in 1885.
Professor E. Stone Wiggins, the earth¬
quake sharp, has been heard from again.
He says that a great earthquake in North
America will begin in 1904—on Angust
19, to be exact. Meanwhile he will not
bother with small shakes, like those
which have taken place recently, which
are merely “the negative or reflex action
of an earthquake, the position being lo¬
cated south of Cape Horn.”
Authentic estimates of the peace effect
lives stationed in the frontier provinces
of Austria, Russia and Germany show
that Russia has 315,500 men, with 689
field-guns; Austria, 38,000 men, with
160 field guns; and Germany 98,200
men and 338’field-guns. A comparison
of the military situation on the Russian
side of the frontier with that on the
German side, taking the forces within
territories of about equal area, shows
that the Russians within 119,311 square
kilometers have 123,275 men, 24,198
horses and 2,711 guns of all kinds, while
the Germans, within 119,456 square
kilometers, have only 81,714 men,
14,520 horses and 238'guns.
The city of Mexico is madly devoting
itself to gorgeous spectacles, in which
the central attraction is bull-fighting.
Sunday is the chief festival day for this
sort of thing, and half a dozen “rings”
attract multitudes. Saleri, a Spanish
hull-fighter, noted in his own country
for daring deeds, was imported by Mex¬
ican enterprise to add zest to the Sab¬
bath circuses. He was “famous” chiefly
for that particularly reckless accomplish¬
ment which consists in infuriating the
wild beast and then evading its onslaught
by nimbly leaping over its head. His
first experiment at an introduction of
this into the Mexican Sabbath programme
resulted in his being gored to death.
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
learned His Money—Special Terms—
She Had Read Up—A Famil¬
iar Face—A Leap Year
Proposal, Etc., Etc.
Patient—“That’s a big bill you sent,
doctor. You only looked at my tongue
and prescribed quinine.”
Doctor—“You forget, my dear sir,that
I felt of your pulse. ”—Texas Siftings.
Special Terms.
New member (to Washington hotel
clerk)—“What are your regular rates?”
Clerk—“Four dollars a day, sir; pay
able weekly.”
New Member—“You have different
rates for Members, of course?”
Clerk—“Yes, sir. Four dollars a day
in advance .”—New York Herald.
She Had Read Up.
something Tramp—“Can’t you give a poor man
to eat? I got shot in the war
and can’t work.”
Woman—“Where was you shot?”
“In the spinal column, mum.”
“Go’way! There was no such battle
fought .”—Texas Siftings.
A Familiar Face.
Guest (to hotel clerk)—“I’ve met that
gentleman who just went out before
somewhere, His face is very familiar 1
but to save my life I can’t call his name.
Clerk—“His name is Smith; he is one
of the officials at Auburn prison, Your
bill is $4, sir .”—New York San.
A Leap Year Proposal.
Clyde—“Harry,you must have noticed
that you have grown very dear to me.
I I—it is useless to longer conceal the
truth, my darling.—I love you!”
Harry (turns pale and trembles)—“It
is so sudden, Miss Jones. Excuse my
agitation, but I must have time to
think.”
Clytie—“Then you bid me hope, my
angel! Oh, rapture!”
Harry (blushing coquettishly behind
his whiskers)—“I have not said that.
Really, Miss Jones, I must refer you to
ma ”
Clytie—“Cruel, cruel one! Why have
you awakened this pleasing hope in my
bosom if only to blast it? Consider, my
love. Will nothing move you to mercy ?
Bestow upon me this little band and
make me the happiest of maidens.”
Harry—“Alas! I fear it cannot be. I
esteem you highly at a friend, Miss
Jones, but—forgive me if I pain you—I
do not love you. (Holds out his hand.)
But I will always be a brother to you. ”
She rushes out into the dark, dark
world, convinced that leap year is a
fraud .—Omaha Bee.
Life In Kansas.
“There’s quite a breeze sprung up
within the last half-hour,” said a Kansas
man as he came into the house; “the
roof ha3 gone off the court house and
the Episcopals’ steeple just rolled by.”
‘•‘Has Dave Johnson's anvil blown
out of his shop yet and tumbled past?”
asked his wife.
“No; nor there hasn’t a drop of water
blown out of our new • fifty-loot well
yet, either.”
“That’s just the way it goes,” con¬
tinued his wife; “and I’ll never take
any more stock in the prophecies of the
weather bureau. Here for the last forty
eight hours ]t has been predicting high
wind for to-day, and after all it is com¬
paratively head and calm. Mary the Jane, washing go right
a hang out while
I rig up the baby and take him out and
give him a little airing .—Yankee Blade.
At the Wrong Window.
A good story is told at the expense of
the Amherst College Glee Club. About
ten years ago the club made a trip
through New York State, and sung in
Rochester at the same time that Kate
Pennoyer, a pretty stage singer, was
there. After the concert it was proposed
to serenade the lady, and the club pro¬
ceeded to her homo and struck up the
familiar college hymn, “Dear Evelina,”
paraphrasing the chorus:
Dear Kate Pennoyer,
Sweet Kate Pennoyer,
Our love for thee
Shall never, never die.
After singing the entire song the boys
waited a moment for a recognition of
tbeir serenade. Slowly a window in the
third story was raised, later a man clothed
in robe? of -white ana with whiskers a
foot long was seen, and then a bass solo
was wafted down to the collegians:
Dear boys below there,
Sweet boys below there,
Your Kate Pennoyer
Lives four doors below here.
As the last words of his song died on
the frosty air, the Amherst College Glee
Club gathered themselves up like Arabs
and as silently stole away.
A Wife's Criticism on a Will.
An Irishman over the age of fourscore
and ten, who by strict economy had
accumulated a modest fortune and was
.about to die, called in the parish priest
"and the family lawyer to make his last
will and testament. The wife, a grasp¬
ing, covetous old party was also in the
room. The preliminaries of the will hav¬
ing been concluded, it became necessary
to inquire about the debts owing to
the estate. Among these were several of
importance, of which the old lady had
been in ignorance, but was nevertheless
would pleased to find that so much ready money
be coming after the funeral.
“Now, then,” said the lawyer, “state
explicitly the amour*. wed you by your
friends.”
“Timothy Brown, John replied the old
man, “owes me £60; Casey owes
me me £37, and—-—”
“Good, good?” ejaculated the pros¬
pective w-idow. “Rational £40,” to the resumed last.”
“Luke Brown owes me
the old man.
“Rational to the last, ” put in the eager
old lady.
• ‘To Michael Liffey I owe £200.”
“Ah!” exclaimed the old woman,
“hear him rave?”
Curing the Wrong Man.
An army surgeon was one night an¬
noyed by the coughing of the sentry out¬
side his tent. Lnable to sleep, he de¬
cided that something must be done for
the man, and so compounded him a
strong medicine. and Then, very going disagreeable dose of
out, he ordered
the man to take it. The sentry refused,
a t first politely, and afterward angrily
and emphatically; but the surgeon sternly
insisted upon his rights, and the man
was finally induced to swallow the com
pound. The result sound was evidently satis¬
factory. The of coughing ceased
in the camp, and the surgeon went to
sleep in the consciousness of having done
a good deed. The next morning he was
summoned by the officer in command,
who said to him:
“How is this, sir? I hear serious com¬
plaints about you in relation to the sen¬
tries. One of them has reported that, in
the middle of the night, you came out of
your tent and abused him in the most
dreadful manner. He says you made him
swallow a drink which must have been
poison.” guard had been relieved
The while
the surgeon was compounding his mix¬
ture, and he had cured the wrong man.
— Argonaut.
The New Clerk.
He had been recommended as a sharp,
shrewd boy, and the grocer had been
several times delighted at the way he
scrimped the measure when selling ap¬
ples or potatoes. Therefore, when he
started down town the other day he felt
that everything would go smoothly in
his absence. When he returned, after
the lapse of a couple hours, he asked:
“Well, anything happen?"
replied “Bought twenty boy.” bushels of potatoes,”
the
“But I didn’t tell you to.”
“I know it, but when I can buy pota¬
toes at twenty-five cents per bushel under
selling eh!” price there’s a profit in buying,
“Did you get ’em for that?”
“I did, and good measure, too.”
“Then I shall raise your salary a dollar
per week. You are the boy I’ve been
looking for. Potatoes in the bin?”
“Yes.”
Two minutes later the grocer came
back to the front of the store with a po¬
tato in each hand and his face as white
as snow, and after working his jaws for
half a minute he managed to say:
“You idiot! They are frozen as hard
as rocks !”—Detroit Free Press.
They Knew.
A certain charitable mission enterprise
connected with an important church, is
presided over by a young assistant min¬
ister of the church, who is much admired
for his personal graces as well as for his
piety and zeal in good work. He had
been assisted in the work of instructing, who
elevating and amusing the boys re¬
sort to the mission by some good ladies
of the parish, and particularly by a
young woman whose benevolent interest
in the mission work has been supposed to
include the clergyman at its head, She¬
lias teach been and indefatigable entertain in boys,and her endeavors
to the often
addresses them in little speeches.
The other Sunday this young lady was
speaking to the boys in the presence of
the clergyman. She had exhorted them
to be good and studious, and to avoid bad
company, profanity and closed other de¬
moralizing things, with her little
exliortati r» these words •
“I want you to be good boys and do
all these things that I have asked you to
because I love you all.”
“I know who you love most!” a small
boy in the front row called out.
“Well, who is it, Johnny?” asked the
lady. No doubt she suspected some ac¬
cusation of partiality among the boys,
which she would have been glad of an
opportunity to deny.
The boy pointed his small, grimy
finger at the he young clergymen.
“Him!” shouted.
The young lady’s interest in charitable
work is said to have declined visibly for
some little time .—Boston Transcript.
A Word to Snorers.
It is perfectly true that no one ever
heard of a snoring sivage. In fact, if
the wild man of the woods and plains
does not sleep quietly, he runs the risk
of being discovered by would his enemy, adorn and
the scalp of the snorer soon
the belt of his crafty and more silent
sleeping adversary. In the natural state,
then, “natural selection” weeds out
those who disturb their neighbors by
making night hideous with snores. With
civilization, however, we have changed
ail this. The impure air of our sleeping
rooms induces all kinds of catarrhal af¬
fections. The nasal passages are the first
to become affected. Instead of warming
the inspired air on its way dangerous to the lungs
and removing from it the im¬
purities with which it is loaded, the nose
becomes obstructed. A part of the air
enters'and escapes by way of the mouth.
The veil of the palate vibrates through between the
'the two currents—that
mouth and the one still nostrils—like passing through
the partially closed a torn
sail in the wind. The snore, then, means
that the sleeper’s mouth is partially open,
that his nose is partially closed, and that
his lungs are in danger warmed from the purified. air not
being the properly continual and these
From operation of
causes—the increase of impure air in
sleepirg rooms and permitting habitual
snorers scientists to escape have Killing predicted and scalping— that all
some
men (and the women, too!) will snore.
It goes along with decay of the teeth and
bald headedness.— Fireside.
He Telegraphed With His Feet.
adroitness An instance is narrated of a telegraph despatch operator’s
in a from
Duluth, Minn., which says: “Word was
received here from Hinsdale that the
men employed committing at the quarries depredations had struck, the
and were on
Minnesota Iron Company’s property.
The few particulars were very meagre,
and alarm was occasioned by the arrival
of the following telegram: ‘Men em¬
ployed in the have quarries obtained have possession struck for
back pay and
of the telegraph office. I have now a.
revolver at each side of my bead; they
have demanded the money in the safe,
and are trying to open it.’ After that
the telegram suddenly ceased and only a
few broken sentences could be gotten.
A deputy with twenty men started for
Hinsdale, and arriving there found that
the alarm had little foundation. Fivo ,
drunken brawlers had entered the depot,
tipped over the stove, and terrified the
agent and operator. They refused to
allow the latter to touch the telegraph
instrument with his hand. The man,
however, managed hi^feet to send the message
given with .”—New York Pod.
Cleveland’s Tired Arm.
“I should think your arm would be
paralyzed,” a Washington correspondent
of the Globe-Democrat ventured to say te
Mrs. Cleveland after one of the shake- •
hand receptions at the White Houae.
‘ ‘It is tired, ” she replied, ‘ ‘but it is,
curiously enough, the left arm, not the
right. General Grant was troubled in
the same way—the arm that tired was
the one not shaken. This mysterions
puzzle can be left to the physiologists.”
According the to a Boston statistician
“the cost of fences in the United
States is more than the National
debt.”