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“ In May, Mrs. Koseleaf told me. She -is heart-broken at the idea of losing Doris, but it is the only way she can be rid of Trotty—and this thought consoles tier .’’—Frank Leslie's. The Punctilious Mexican Poor, half-starved, dirty, m serahiy tlad in' rags that scarcely cover their nakedness, the poor Mexicans still prac¬ tice an unfailing courtesy that I have too often found lucking among our parvenu aristocrats, sitting aloft on their money bags. wherever This in is practically demonstrated Mexico Americans do con¬ gregate. A little group will be gathered on will, a and-an corner, public carriers, what you American come3 rushing past. A block away can bo read in his eye the intention to lush throngh that group of low-born mortals. Does he scatter them in catapult fashion really? Ah, uoi A heavy leathern cushion, on which the carrier supports his burden, strikes him somehow carelessly, but with almost force enough to knock him ■breathless. The agnador slops some water out of a brimming chococol over his worship’s natty garments, and his shoulder will be black and blue for a with fortnight from sturdy the force of his collision the rnozo. By stepping into the gutter he manages raging. to pass them, breathless and They look at. each other com¬ placently, grin silently, and fall into place this again as another did gringo approaches. But one not come to Mexico the day before yesterday. He slackens his pace slightly as he comes near them, perhaps his hand touches in his hat, perhaps and waves token of greeting, says cheerily: leave.” The “Con su licencia"—“By your ranks fall open, a hat or two is snatched off, with “Pase u-ted, seno atno”—“Pa«, my master”—and perhaps rub a sandaled splotch foot mud is thrust the out to away a of on pave ment that might soil the shoes of this courteous foreigner. When such traits exist among the lower classes, it can readily be seen what superlative polish of manner must pre¬ vail among the higher. It cost me no little mental self-fiageintion to learn to say “Praf cover yourself" to a gentle¬ man who should pause to greet me, and I remember more than one pang I have felt at having left this to be said by my -escort to men whoso silver locks streamed in a bleak wind or 'were moistened by n soft rain, yet who would not replace the hat without instigation.— San Francisco Chronicle. w A Telephone Millionaire. Alexander Graham Bell is a very rich man, and so are all his relatives. While he cannot be deprived of his present riches, yet his future income is very much in doubt. Should the decision of the United States Supreme Court be ad¬ verse to Bell the people*of the country will get cheaper telephone service, and the coffers' of n great monopoly will be no longer stuffed full to overflowing. Bell is a handsome Canadian, and en¬ joys tho luxury of the handsomest house in Washington, for which he with paid $110,000. He is a well-built man, Black hair and beard, just beginning to turn gray, and has a young-looking face, v The interior of his home is superb, Water colors, rare paintings and soft ■etchings surround of the you on is every side. of The furniture house a marvel taste and richness. ' Tho library, which adjoins the main entrance, is a model of its kind, and contains thousands of rare literary productions. The binding of the books is of the highest perfection, -and you almost fear to touch the covers. Many of the chairs are of carved candle wood. Mrs. Boll is a deaf mute, al¬ though she. ran converse with her hus band readily, who understands every movement of her lips. She was rich before she married the telephone increased her magnate, income but from he his has princely largely gifts to her of largo blocks of telephone ■stock. Just across the street from Mr. Bell’s house is a iittle cottage where he teaches deaf children, lie has given great attention to this subject, and has made many wonderful discoveries in tho signal language, which he is endeavor¬ ing to supplant by a labial sound lan¬ guage of his own.— St. Louis Repvb i.ian. _ A singular accident happened to a horse that was standing near the planing mill at Beaver Falls, Penn. The circu¬ lar saw struck a knot in a board, causing the knot and to fly the like side a bullet horse, through where the wall into of the jt emboded itself in the flesh and caused g painful wound. BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES PROM VARIOUS SOURCEk The Careful Burglar—He Owsefl Up —Stealing Black Diamonds— A Little Close—A Con¬ flagration, Etc. When the winter nights close in, And the pleasant fogs begin; When the moon’s intr usive light Is obscured from mortal sight; He who burgles by sound rales Then should furbish up his tools. As the surgeon whets his knife, For preserving human life; As the sportsman oils his gun. With the season’s earliest sun; So the burglar, cool and keen, Sees his instruments ore clean. Wipe Harder the jemmy, oft ’tis said than a policeman’s head See that no corroding grit Harms the wily centre-bit; That no rust appears upon Dainty keys called skeleton. Although We hidden by the mist, shall need the shoes of list; And our modesty may ask Coy Bull’s concealment from tire mask; eye lanterns we, of course, Carry, like our friends the “ Force.” There's the small revolver, still Careful burglars do not kill; Conscientious men like me Operate Some in secrecy. directors do the same, And we blush to find it fame. —London Punch. He Owned Up. “Times have changed. The public taste has changed,” exclaimed the pro¬ fessor who wa; delivering the literary lec¬ ture, as he wanned up with his subject and brought his hand down emphatically on the desk. “Where is the man that reads Anthony Trollope to-day?” “Here he is,” said a hollow-eyed, de¬ jected looking man ip the rear of the hall, as he rose up, “I a:n reading one of his books, but I’m doing it on a bet, and I can lick (be ornery son of a gun that has given me away !”—Chicago Tri lune. Stealing Black Diamonds. Chief Train Robber—“Now, yon fel¬ lows, when the train stops you will board the coaches and cover the passengers with your guns.” “Yes, and you’ll go through them and get their stuff?” “Not by a hanged sight. You keep the passengers from interfering and I’ll overpower the firemen and fill our sacks with coal .”—Nebra k% State Journal. A Little Close. Mrs. A.—“What sort ot people are our next door neighbors ?” Mrs. B. — “They are about as 6tingy as people it get to be.” “Is “They are so stingy they starve them¬ selves. Well, I’ll give yon some idea how they live. I was there the other day, aud I saw a mouse reduced to a skeleton come out. of their pantry with tears in his eyes.”— Siftings. It Was a Conflagration. “Papa, what big is a conflagration?” “It is a lire, my sou.” “And what do they call a little fire?” “There is no special name for a little fire. Oh, they sometimes call it an in cipient fire, and—let’s see—well, it is sometimes called an inconsiderable fire. Why?” “Well, I see your coat-tail is on fire, and I was wondering whether it was a conflagration few minutes or an incipient fire.” In a the young man had reaasoa to think it wa3 a conflagration.— Chisago News. He Was Competent. “Docs anybody go bail for this man?” asked the clerk of the court. “I will, :.’r,” replied a rather insignifi¬ cant looking man who was standing near the tail. “Y'ou!” said the district attorney con¬ temptuously, glancing at the stranger’s clothing. “You! Are you aware, sir, that the prisoner is held in $15,000 for trial?” “I am, sir,” said the stranger. “I will furnish security.” “Oh, yon will, will you?” said the dis¬ trict attorney, snecringly. “Y r our name and address, may I ask?” “John Jones, coal dealer,” said the other, quietly, and the district attorney blushed and said: ‘ ‘Beg your pardon 1 ”—Somerville Jour nal. No Use Then. “If I slip down on an icy sidewalk and sustain severe damages can I get redress ?” he asked of a lawyer. “ You can.” "Who shall I sue V' “The qwner of the premises. You can hold him responsible.” “I was laid up seven weeks, and I think I o -ght to have $100.” “ I think we can get double that. Do you know the owner of the property V' “I can find out very easily. It’s No. 480 Blank avenue.” “What 1 Why, that’s my residence! Better drop your ease at once, sir. I for¬ got to say that the law is so defective that we can’t get a verdict once in a hundred times !”—Detroit Free Press. Had Been Slightly Negligent. A physician who had attended a man during several weeks of illness called one day and presented his bill. “I can’t pay this,” said the ex-pa¬ tient. “Why? It's doubt correct.” haven’t “ I don’t that, but I any money. Had to pay a life insurance . assessment. this morning, and it took every cent I had ?” “ What, is your life insured ?” - “les, _ and at one time . when , I did not expect to live but a few hours longer paid I told my wife to see that you were just as soon as the company paid the amount of the insurance.” “My dear man,” the doctor sugges lively replied, “I wish I had known that. I think I would have gotten my money. ” —A rkansns Traveler. Unappreciated Politeness. A handsomely-dressed young woman entered a crowded street car. A long whiskered old fellow, wearing a dingy slouch hat and a suit of homespun clothes, got up and said: “Miss, take my seat. I don’t look as well as these here gentlemen”—nodding at several men—“but I’ve diskivered that The I’ve got more politeness.” down without young woman sat thanking “Miss,” the said old the fellow. old fellow, with a smile, “I b’leve I left my pocketbook thar on that seat. Will you please get up;” The The old young woman got up. fellow sat down, and, stroking his whiskers, remarked: “B’leve I’ll jest keep on settin’ here, Miss. I’ve got a lefitle more politeness than these here gentlemen, but I have diskivered that I ain’t got nigh so much sense .”—Arhansis Traveler. The Statue Was labeled Wrong. One of Berlin’s most celebrated sculp¬ tors is Albert Wolff, and a lion executed by him is in the Thiergarten of that A young American who is making the tour to attain the final polish which his country does not afford, thus writes to his admiring friends at home: “I am much pleased with the Gennan capital, but I don’t think the Berliners very intelligent,. The other day I took s wnik in a pretty park called the Thier garten, and saw a very handsome work of would art representing it lion, a lion. but they Anybody know was a seem here to be quite ignorant of natural his tory,for this particular work was marked: ‘A Wolff.’ Think of it! Such a thing could never have happened at home, And look at the spelling!” He Was Surprised. Brown—“I never was more surprised u mv life than I was last night.” Green—“Indeed! What was the cause?” B.—“As I was passing along the street two ladies came to the door of a hou»e one evidently the hostess, ns she had only a little shawl on her shoulder and the other well wrapped reached up, the apparently bottom her guest. As they of the steps the visitor said: ‘Well, Mary, I’ve had a pleasant time. Good night.’ ‘Good night,’ the hostess replied and they G.—“They parted.” parted that way?” ” B.—“They did.” G.—“With one good night?” is B.—“With one good night! That what surprised dear me fellow, ” they G.—“My were men in women’s clothes. No two women could have parted in that manner. They would have taken two hours to take leave of each other .”—Boston Cur Ur. It Was Plumb. Griswold Yesterday forenoon a man halted oil street and looked pretty fixedly at the tower of the City Hall. In ten seconds a second man stopped and ele¬ vated his gaze. In five minutes thirty men anything were looking. No one had when said or discovered anything, a fresh addition advanced to the first man and inquired: “What is it, mister?” “The City Hall tower,” was the an swer. “What’s the matter with it?” “Why, it strikes me that it is out of plumb. “Why, Don’t you think so?” nol How could it he out of plumb?” don’t “I know. It struck rne that way, but if you say it’s all right, I’ll take yo m word for it. Good morning, sir!” The other thirty stood and looked at each ether in a foolish sort of a way for a minute without saying a word, and then everybody made a rush to get away. —Detroit Free Press. A Warning to Lovers. The last stroke of the hour of mid night has just sounded. Still he lingers near tiio door with her in the steam h ea ted hall, “It is very late,” she murmurs half re proachfutly twenty-fifth as he squeezes her hand for time, “Was that nine or ten that struck?” he as ]^ “It was twelve.” “Twelve! And your father is-” “sitting up until you go. and I’m afraid he will be angry. He-” nj mus t go. is it possible that he knows it is so late?” “His watch never varies a scond and he is in the habit of consulting it every few minutes when he is wa ting for me to retire. Oh! I a\vrcnce,I fear, I dread, 1 tremble—go softly—perhaps he will not hear.” There was a sound like that of the drawing of corks, the door softly opened and closed and Lawrence I.ongstop went ont into the night, the starless, tenebrious night. there flash, A moment later was a a loud report, a wild yell, the hurried patter on the walk of flying footsteps ; and the maiden’s terrible conjecture was realized as she beheld her father enter the hail with a smoking musket in his hands. . “i)h! father,” she shrieked in an agony of dread, “You have killed him! You have killed him!” “No, I haven't. It was only peas; ha ain’t hurt much. It was only peas.” “Oh! what will his folks in Boston say?” he from Eoston?” “Boston! Was “He was.” “Hang me, if I’d a-known that, I would have loaded with beans '."—Boston Courier. Violin Villages. No musical instrument is deserving of greater care than centuries the violin. and A goad one will last for improve with age. A newspaper writer tells something of the people who make the j,est violins, in Markneukircheu, with its surrounding villages, Klingenthal, Fieissen, Eohrbaeli and Graslitz, in Sax ony, where there are about fif cen thou sand people who do nothing but make violins. The inhabitants, from the little urchin to the old, gray-headed man, the 8ma ll girl an d the old grandmother, are all engaged in making some parts of a fiddle: A good instrument consists of sixty two different pieces. The older men make striug-holder the finger-board of the from ebony, The and the screws. small boys make theaisdves useful by looking after the glue-pot. a:;d A man with strong, steady hands together, a clear eye puts the different pieces and .his is the most difficult ta-k of all. The women generally occupy them selves as polishes. This requires long practice, aud a family having a daugh ter who is a good polisher is considered very fortunate. Even a young man, w hen he goes a wooing, inquires whether the young girl is a good polisher, aud if she is, it ccr tninly will increase his affection polishing for takes her at lea t twofold. The a good deal of time, some of (lie violins being twenty and even thirty times p<A islied. Every family has ils peculiar style that, of polishing, and never varies from There is one that makes nothing but a deep wine color, and another a citron color, yet another an orange color, and so on.