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KNOXIII JOURNAL
KNOXVILLE, GEORGIA.
Texas has the largest State House andl
the biggest school fund in America.
The King of Greece recently unveiled
a monument in a lofty defile in the hills
north of Amphissa in memory of Ulysses
Androthos, who, at the head of a few
men, held the defile against the French
hordes in the war of G-ieeian jnde
pendenee.
_
The English sparrow has now got al¬
most as bad a name at home as in this
country. The damage which he causes
to the farmers of England has been esti¬
mated at $10,000,003, and a reward of
six cents a dozen has been offered in
some parts of the country for heads or
'
e ggs
_
The Topeka Journal says that if the
cattle of Kansas were formed in a single
file they would reach from Atchison to
New York, go that just as the leading
steer was looming up in the neighbor¬
hood of Central Park the last calf would
be galloping off the Missouri River
Bridge.
The Turkish Government had a sus¬
picion that Russian pilgrims, who have
been arriving in great numbers at the
monasteries at Galatea and Mount Athos,
were really come to spy out the country,
and it gave orders that the pilgrims be
closely watched and hustled along as
rapidly as possible.
The Supreme Court of Michigan has
just affirmed the decision of a lower one,
made in the face of a precedent, that a
child of 4 years cannot be visited with the
contributory negligence of its parents,
and that, consequently, the railway
which took off its small leg must pay the
$5000 damages allowed by the jury.
“Take the poorest and most wretched
looking hamlet in America,” says a De¬
troit Free Press man who has made the
tour, “overrun it with dogs and beggars,
furnish it with 50,000 rank smells and
two dirty hotels, and you have some
thing to compare with one of the beauti¬
ful Italian villages some of our folks rave
over.”
They handle wheat with wonderful
celerity at Duluth, Minn, The other
day the steamer Montana Eagle made
fast to the dock there, adjusted six re¬
ceiving spouts, took on 52,000 bushels
of wheat, and was off with her load in
forty-nine minutes. This is claimed to
be the fastest job of loading wheat on
record.
_
“Railway brain” is a term applied by
Dr. Thomson, the eminent English spe¬
cialist, to a neurosis or general derange¬
ment of the nerves produced by a shock
xeceived by the head on a railway car.
In the particular case described no wound
was received, and consciousness was pre¬
served at the time of the injury. After¬
ward the patient became melancholic
and complained of insomnia, headache,
Bpinal pain, weariness, and failure of ap¬
petite. A hygienic and palliative treat¬
ment was given,
Oobserves the Chicago Tier a’d: “The
Canadians have appropriated solid
chunks of cuteness from the Yankees in
the matter of contracts and contracting.
A short time since the Dominion of
Canada awarded a contract for the build,
ing of a bridge over the Eraser River,
on the Canada Pacific Road, to a Cana¬
dian contractor at $1,500,000. He sub
let the work to a Philadelphia contractor
for $400,000, who in turn let the job to
another contractor for $100,000, and he
let it to another contractor for $75,000.
■fit which figures the bridge was built.
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Destroyed His Appetite—A Rift in
the Clouds—His Share—Talcing
No Chances—Recalling Past
Favors, Etc., Etc.
Mr. Slimbrain (fishing for a compli¬
ment)— “Bobby, what did your sister
say when she heard that I was going
to stay to supper again see—oh, tc-niglit?
Bobby—‘“Let me yes! she
said Mr. Slimbrain must think we keep
a hotel.— Texas. Siftings.
A Rift in the Clouds.
Old gentleman (to elevated road
brakeman)—“Your life, my young
friend, is a laborious one, and full of
trials:”
Brakeman —“Yes, sir; but there are
moments when it is filled with, a blessed
peace, and happines and joy.”
Old Gentleman—“When you are paid
off, I s’pose?”
Brakeman—“No, sir; when I can slam
the gate in the face of somebody who is
in a big hurry.”— New Y„rk Sun.
His Share.
“Oh, yes,” remarked Ketchly, in a
self-satisfied way. “Lulu and I will
start out in married life under very
favorably circumstances. Her mollier
gives her a neat little home, her father
furnishes it, and her Uncle DeLong has
stocked one of the neatest stables in the
city. Besides, Lulu has a saug income
in her own name.”
“What part do you furnish?”
cipally ( . Well—principally the the name—prin¬
name.”— Tid-BUs.
Taking No Chances.'
Pa Jones (soberly)—“Clara, young
Mr. Sampson came to me to-day, and
said you had promised to be his wife if
he could gain my consent.”
Clara—“Yes, papa.”
“But you are already engaged to Mr.
Babbit.”
“Yes, papa (with drooping eyes and
a beautiful blush), but I wanted to be on
the safe side.”— Siftings.
Recalling Past Favors.
Tramp (to Editor, who is hurrying
little, past)—“Say, could n’t you help me a
Editor—“What please? I gave you a boost once.”
do you mean,fellow?”
burglary Tramp—“Don’t you remember that
by Jim Crackitt and his pals
some Editor—“Yes.” years ago?”
it Tramp—“Aud just how your reports of
set the HowUr's circulation a
boomin’?”
Editor—“Yes.”
Tramp—“Well, I’m Jim!”
Advised His Mother.
A Howard street mother lias consider¬
able trouble with a little incorrigible,
lie is chock full of natural depravity,
and yet is exceedingly bright.
“I declare, Georgie, I don’t know
what to do to you,” she said the other
day. “I have punished you severely
half a dozen times for this same offence,
but it does no good.”
“It seems that it doesn’t,” he said.
“Mother, I tell you what I’d do, were I
you. I’d just give up in despair ”—
Detroit Free Press.
Tlie Fool Killer.
“Is there any such a thing as a fool
killer, John?” asked Mrs. Brown as she
folded the newspaper which she had been
reading; “I don’t believe there is.”
“Oh! yes there is,” replied Mr. Brown.
Then with a laugh he added, “And you
had better keep out of his way.”
“No,” said Mrs. Brown musingly,
“there isn’t such a thing, if the e was,
I would have been a widow long ago.”
Then she took up her sewing and Mr.
Brown went out on the stoop to see what
kind of anight it was. —Boston Courier.
A Blissful Evening.
Mrs. Overtherhine (of Cincinnati, to
daughter, Festival): returned “Did from enjoy the the Thomas music,
dear?” you
my
I Daughter: “It was divine, mamma!
was in a trance of dreamy enjoyment
through the entire exquisite perform
ance -”
Mrs. Overtherhine: “Aren't you rather
^ a t e -”
Mr. Daughter:. Ohlsen inyited ‘‘Rather, I to fancy, Bullwinkle’s mamma,
me
for a hot sausage.”— Life.
A Sunset Reminder.
“Behold that golden and gorgeous
sunset, Angelina Augustus. I” rapturously “Is it not exclaimed
her own trans¬
cendency beautiful?”
“Perfectly rich heavenly.” the
“How the crimson melts into
delicate pink! How sweetly both colors
blend with the amber tinge of the broken
clouds about them! What emotions
does that magnificent scene raise in
your soul? What does it remind you
of?”
“Strawberry ice-cream with a dash ot
vanilla,” she meekly answered, and she
did not leave him a nickle to pay his
homeward car fare.— Drake's Magazine.
He Told the Truth.
Magistrate (to new policeman)—“Did
you notice no suspicious characters about
the neighborhood?”
New Policeman—“Sure, yer Honor, I
saw but one mon, an’ I asked him wot he
was doin’ there at that time o’ night.
Sez he: ‘I have no business here just
now, but I expect to open a jewelry store
in the vicinity later on.’ At that I se/.:
“I wish you success, sov.’ ”
Magistrate (disgusted) — “Yes, and he
did open a jewelry store in that vicinity
and stoic seventeen watches.”
New I'olieeman (after a pause)—“Be
gorra, yer Honor, the mon may have
been a thafe, but he was no liar.”— St.
Louis Critic.
An Average Cook.
“How do you like housekeeping, my
dear,” inquired Mrs. Matron of Mrs.
Newlywed.
“Oh, it’s just lovely! Charley thinks
change, its delightful! It’s such a pleasant
he says, from boatding-house
fare, and he just raves over my cooking.
1 love to plan and prepare out little
meals. Do stay for tea. You really
must. It won’t inconvenience me in the
least. All I’ll have to do will be to lay
another plate. I have everything al
ready, and will only have to speak to
our girl and tell her there is to-be one
extra.”
And when she spoke to the girl she
said:
“Run around to the baker’s and get a
dozen fresh rolls, a pound of aborted
cake, and some lady fingers. And stop
at the grocers and get some canned beef;
and get some cold boiled tongue at the
delicatessen store; and a jar of raspberry
preserves, and some tarts. I guess that’ll
be all we want but the tea—and you can
make that.”— Tile-Bits.
It, Went, All the Same
They were seated as usual. I believe
T do not need to explain. They had
reached that confidential state when,
after mouths of anxiety aud doubts and
fears as to whether she loved him or not.
having found out that she was only too
willing, he felt like backing out.
“Well, you see I am poor, dearest.”
“I don’t care. It does not cost much
to keep a wife.”
“No, I suppose not.”
“Not when one loves, George.”
‘No, I suppose not.”
“Ah, you think I am extravgant. I
am not. Is's all well when pa pays, you
know. That’s all right. But if I were
your wife--”
“Dearest!”
“Yes, 1 can be so economical. It
doesn’t really cost any more to keep two
than one.”
“Yes, I suppose so; yes. But it de
pends upon which one.”
‘Oh, I can keep house.”
‘Yes, dearest, but can I?”
“I can cook.”
“My love, I would not wish you to do
any hard work. I would not wish you
to soil your dainty hands. Don’t you
think, dear, we might live at the restau¬
rant until—until ”
“Until when?”
“Until I braced myself to eat what
you cooked."
Even that did not help him. She said:
“All right,” and laughed, and the wed¬
ding goes.— Sin Francisco Chronicle.
Opals Not Unlucky.
A man who makes a study of stones
and precious things tells me that the
superstition about the opal is dying out.
Feop'.e are getting black over all that nonsense,
he said, 'the cat superstition has
vanished, and why not the opal? He
says he has had several calls for opals
recently, some of tlie calls reversing the
old superstition by saying that they
want the opal so as to change their luck,
Their is also a new way of setting dia
monds for the ears. By this new set
ting the diamonds tremble with every
pulsation additional of the ear, thus giving them
luster. Even a stone that is
off-color will shine up to good advan
tage when thus arranged .—Chicago Mail.
Loathsome Sights lit India.
The advanced school of Anglicized na¬
tives is seeking to construct a political
edifice of elective parliaments in India.
The leading Bombay newspaper draws
attention to two recent revolting inci¬
dents as conclusively proving the im¬
perious necessity for social reform and
enlightenment before it would be possi¬
ble to concede electoral privileges. In
the one case a tenant farmer, in the pres¬
ence of the assembled villagers, amid the
singing of songs and beating of drums,
deliberately gouged out the eyes of his
young wife, who was pinioned for the
purpose by the neighbors, because he had
been told by a demon that they would
be replaced by gold eyes. This supersti¬
tion was shared by the whole village and
neighborhood, including the police, who
perished alleged that the unfortunate woman had
by cholera. In the second
case, the scene was a temple, midway be¬
tween Chuddergaut and Secunderabad.
Three buffaloes were hacked and hewn
into pieces, which were strewn all over
the road, and the people in the imme¬
diate vicinity of the lacerated animats
were dabbling and dancing about in their
blood, while others, holding the yet
bleeding legs and joints, were whirling
them round about their heads, and ges¬
ticulating furiously. A fourth animal,
which was being cut up or wounded,
was still alive, and added his painful
beilowings to the horrhle din. A little
further on some two or three men with
bodies naked and painted, held a goat by
the legs, while from the still living and
with quivering body teeth they were tearing mouthful away
their mouthful by
the bleeding flesh, squirting and sprink¬
ling it over the adjacent crowd. Other
goats and buffaloes were close at hand,
waiting their turn to supply the horrid
sacrifice. To complete these Baccha¬
nalian rites, a crowd of women, appar¬
ently intoxicated with drugs, with hair
disheveled, wild in mien, and besmeared
in blood, perfoimed a kind of satanic
dance, accompanying each movement
with violent shrieks. The object of all
these loathsome orgies, which were wit¬
nessed and participated in by hundreds
of persons, was, we are told, to appease
the Hindu goddess who holds in her
hand the scourge of smallpox.— London
Times.
Ages of Well-Known Men.
Bismarck will turn 73.
Simon Cameron will be 89.
George William Curtis will turn 64.
John Bright and Edward Pierrepont
will be 71.
Benjamin II. Bristow and Edwin
Booth will be 55.
General Joseph E. Johnson and John
G. Whittier will be 81.
Judge Stephen J. Field and General
N. P. Banks will be 72.
Generals Sherman and Longstreet will
blend blue and gray at 68.
Professor Asa Gray, Martin F. Tupper
and Cassius M. Clay will reach 78.
John Ruskin, General Rosecrans and
Cyrus W. Field will score 69 summers.
Max Muller, Thomas Hughes, Ernest
Renan and John Sherman will be 05.
Ferdinand de Lesseps, the French en¬
gineer, and David Dudley Field will
t each 83.
Wilkie Collins, Professor Huxley,
George H. Pendleton and Emperor Dom
Pedro will be 63.
The spirit of 76 will animate Robert
Browning, Feuillet. George Ticknor Curtis and
Octave
John C. Fremont, Benson J. Lossing
and Meissonier will have just lived three
quarters of a century.
R. B. Hayes, Donald G. Mitchell,
James Parton, Dion Boucicault and
“ Oliver Optic ” will reach 66.
Gladstone, Hannibal Hamlin, Oliver
Wendell Holmes, Robert C. Schenck and
Alfred Tennyson will be 79.
George Bancroft, the American his¬
torian, and Yon Moltke, the German
warrior, will be 88—as old as the cen¬
tury.
Three-score-and-ten will number the
years of Gounod, .Tame? Anthony Froude,
General Beauregard, Benjamin F. But¬
ler and William M. Evarts.
Carl Shurz will be 59. Blaine 58, Pro¬
fessor Haeckel 54, Mark Twain 53, T.
B. Aldrich 52, Grover Cleveland 51, Bret
Harte 49, Thomas Nast 48, the Prince of
Wales 47.
“O for the wings of a dove!” sighed
the poet. “Bosh!” said his friend, the
broker. ‘The breast of a turkey is
much better to fill up on.”— Harper'»
Bazar.
