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KMliII JOURNAL. KNOXVILLE. GEORGIA. American orchardists must soon meet, announces the American Agriculturist, the competition in English markets of apple growers in Australia and Tasmania. The imports ol choice apples from theso latter points has already increased to such an extent as to affect British fruit growers. An English built collier, expected shortly at Rochester, N. Y., is looked upon as being a dangerous competitor for the honor ot being the biggest steam collier navigating fresh water, her hull is of iron and she has a capacity of from 2000 to 2200 tons of coal. She will ply between Charlotte, Detroit, Chicago, Duluth, and other points on the upper lakes in the coal-carrying business. A new profession has been started in St. Louis, that of solicitor of marriages for the Justice of the Peace. A great many people procure marriage licenses and do not know exactly where to go to have the ceremony performed. Then the solicitor steps forward, arranges the whole matter satisfactorily and gets a certain percentage out of the Justice’s fee for his trouble. It is a queer busi¬ ness, but, unfortunately, does not pay very well as yet. There is in a Southern insane asylum an eight-year-old boy who has never been awake since the hour of his birth. He was the child of a paralytic mother, and has delicate features and a high, white forehead, with long, black curls. His arm is not larger than an ordinary man’s thumb. He lies on his bed year after year, taking no note of anything that passes. Twice a day he is aroused enough to take a little nourishment, and then relapses into sleep. England, especially in the midland counties, has been suffering from a severe plague of small green caterpillars. To walk in the woods means to have dozens of the little pests falling down one’s neck, and it is a relief, cables a London correspondent of the New York Sun, to hear that certain means of putting an end to them has been unearthed from a news¬ paper of 1.812. A gardener of that period hit upon the means of taking the cater¬ pillars ljy kindness, In each of his infested bushes he put warm peces of woollen rag at sundown. The cater¬ pillars crawled for shelter to the comfort¬ able woollen, and in the morning were taken and shaken into the fire by thou¬ sands. The same plan has been success¬ fully adopted by persecuted British farmers. Selwynn Taylor, a mining engineer and coal expert of Pittsburgh, thinks natural gas is giving out. He says: “Within two years at furthest coal lauds will be selling for what they were con sidered worth before natural gas WilS thought of. This will be due lax-gely to the failure of the gas fields to supply the demands made upon them. Gas, like oil, will in time exhaust itself. New fields may be opened, but taking all in all, I think the outlook for coal was never so bright since natural gas came in use. All the large gas fields are playing out. Murraysville has seen its best days, and all the wells in the Beaver and Ohio valleys are going. The prospects for fields large enough to take their place in case of total failure are not bright by any means. The big natural gas com¬ panies recognize this as a fact, and are expending thousands of dollars on a pro cess for making gas fuel. This is sig¬ nificant. In my judgment two years will see an end to natural gas as fuel.” The Keely Brewing Company, of Chicago, prohibitory propose to punish legislature, Iowa and Kansas for their barley in either of by refusing to buy grown those States, f BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. A Russian Courtship—Keeping Him Busy—Not for Himself—Her Mother had. Been There, Etc., “ Be mine!” said the ardent young &w < In miiegoff, a voice with emotion quite husky. “ My fondest devotion,oi;, p!ease do not scoff, Katinka Pojakaroluskif” “ Tecliernysehe .-sky, my friend,” the shy maiden replied, “Your people are noble and rich. Would a Golgusoff’s granddaughter be a fit bride For a nephew of Maximovitch?” “ I care not a kopeck!” he said. “In my I have droshky you safe now, and I laugh At the wealth of a Klitkin or Overhaul oshki, Gojavnik, or Pullerzedoff. “ You are worth more to me than the gold Brakemupski, of Slugmiski, SnmarakoiT! or Katinka Pojakaroluski, it’s risky, But I’m going to carry you off!” And this is the way the young Sawmilegoff Put an end to all further discussion, ’Twasa simpler proceeding to carry her off, Than to go ou courting in. Russian. —Chicago Tribune. Keeping Him Busy. boy, “James,’’said the grocer to his new haven’t you got anything to do now?” “No, sir.” the “Well, ketch some flies an’ stick ’em on fly paper in the window .”—New York Sun. Not for Himself. Snarley—“I see you’re spending a lot money on that little place of yours in Surrey.” place—a—thoroughly Snobley—“Yes, I wan’t to make the fit for a gentle¬ man, don’tcherknow?” Jet Snarley—“Oh, it?”— I suppose vou mean to Punch. Her Mother Had Been There. Eight o’clock a. ir.—Airs. Popinjay— “Where are you going, Angelina?” Angelina—“Only iust around the corner to match this piece of silk, mamma.” Mrs. Popinjay—“All right. I’ll tell Bridget o’clock.”— not to have supper until 7 Free Press. Agreed With Her. Mrs. Yeast—“Do you buy your eggs at Shortcounts?” Mrs. Bacon—“Why, certainly.; his eggs can’t be beat. ” Mrs. Yeast—“I know it; that’s the reason I don’t think they’re good.” Not Wholly Voluntary. Mrs. Van Prim—“I am astonished, Clara, that you should voluntarily allow Mr. Featherly to put his arms around you.” Clara—“It wasn’t exactly voluntarily, mother; at least, considerable pressure was Francisco brought to bear upon me .”—San Examiner. A Practical View of the Situation. Lady Blanch—“Pin so fond of riding, I could almost live in the saddle! The habit grows upon one so, yoxi know.” Lady Rose —“I wish mine had grown on me! I had to have it moulded to my frightfully shape, and I expect papa will he grumble at the cost when has to pay the bill.”— Fun. Hope Springs Eternal. Mr. Tilbury Carter—“That ship yonder is the Pontiac, bound for the Hand of Orange Blossoms. Gold ” (twenty-n*me, Miss Marie des pei-ate, and humming Mendelssohn's “Wedding March” under bound her breath— “I should n’t mind being in the same direction myself 1”— Puck. A Terrible Threat. German “Vat,” said the collector for a little band to a citizen who sat in his front window. “You no gif noddings for dot moosic ?” hopeless “Not a cent!” replied the citizen, with emphasis. “Den ve blay some more, dat’s ail!” threatened the collector; so the citizen hastily gave up a quarter.— Epoch, A Singular Coincidence. Benson (entering Newport Casino)— '‘Where haye you been, Ed?” .... Cathcart—“Called on that rich and hideous heiress, Miss Smith. Thank heavens she was out.” (Exeunt twenty young men.) Miss Smith (at home next day)— “Strange that thirty-seven gentlemen should have left their cards last night— just the night when I was not at home.” — Time, Unlucky Fate of a Hotel Clerk. Clerk—“Will you register now?” Lord Divvivian (taking pen)—“Aw, aw, James!” Enter James. Lord Divvivian—“What is me full name, Jeames?” James—“Cecil Fauntus Victor Albert Quincy Burleigh Bacon Walvaughan Warwick Divvivian, sixth Earl of Gil courtmnge, me lud.” Lord Divvivian—“Aw, thank you, Jeames .”—Mall and Express. A Stray hanilt. Vi Huge office)—“You Parson (entering country editor’s promised to pub¬ lish that sermon I sent you on Monday, but I do not find it in the latest issue of your Editor—“I paper.” sent it up. It surely went in. What was the name of it?” Parson—“Feed my lambs.” Editor (after searching through paper) —Ah—yes—um—Here it is. You see we’ve got a new foreman, and he put it under the head of “Agricultural Notes,” as “Hints on the Care of Sheep.” A Great Sale. On a railway train. Two men dis¬ cussing a book that has just been handed to them by the newsboy. First Man—“That’s a great book, sir, a masterpiece of work.” Second Man —“I wonder how it is sell¬ ing?” Selling First Man—“ like whisky at a Montana picnic. Never saw anything like it. You see I am the publisher and ought Second to know.” Man—“Your information de¬ lights me. I am the author.” First Man (with fallen countenance)— “Well, that is, it hasn’t had much of a sale yet, but I think it will have. Big risk you know, getting out this sort of book.”— Arkansan) Traveler. Slightly Misunderstood. “Yes,” said Miss Crushington, the celebrated exponent of society and emo¬ tional drama, “I had a most successful tour in England last summer.” “Did you enjoy the trip across the ocean?” “Very much coming back, but not so much going over.” “Were you sick?” “N-not so very, but I felt badly and wished I hadn’t agreed to come. Wanted to back out, you know.” “I understand; you felt like throwing up the whole affair.” “Oh, dear uo! 1 wasn’t as that !”—Merchant Traveler. Disproving Vital Statistics. There was a cold, hard look in her eyes and a baby on her arin as she came into the Critic office and sat down in the visitor’s chair, alongside of the editor’s desk. “You are the editox-,” she asserted, confidently. The editor did not deny the charge. “in your paper not long since,” she continued, “I read an article on the cen¬ sus returns made by the police, and in it I noticed that the increase of population in Georgetown from 1885 to 1888 was only twenty-three.” said “Yes, madame,” the editor, be¬ cause he hadn’t anything else to say. “Well, it’s a base slander on our town, sir,” she exclaimed indignantly, grunted". and dis¬ turbed the baby till it “Why, sir, ou my block alone, the increase has been twenty-four within a year, and this one I’ve got is one of them.” “Yes, madame,” repeated sticking the editor with striking originality, nis pen in the paste pot.” “Now, sir, I want to sue somebody for libel, it’s either the police or the newspapers ” “The police, of course, madame,’’said the editor, recovering his wits. “x’s all the same to me. so long as somebody has to pay for it. Good morning. If any other member of the Georgetown Committee on Population cal], tell them, will you, that I’ve been here?” and she went out haughtily with the baby.— Washington Critic. Blessing are strewed like flowers in our pathway; it rests with us to gather them up carefully or pass them by. CURIOUS FACTS. A talent of gold was $13,809. A shekel of silver was about fifty cents. A violin made of clay has been on ex¬ hibition in Berlin. which Aquatinta, is a kind of engraving by a soft and beautiful effect is pro¬ duced. A moving train knocked the tail off a Missouri calf without in any way hurting the rest of the animal. “Lover’s ink.” warranted to vanish in twelve hours after use, leaving the paper blank, is said to be a Western invention. The other day at Westport, Conn., Mr. Mitchell and .Miss Lewis got married, and went off canoeing upon a bridal tour. A n organ in a San Francisco church is said to have been beneiited, rather than injured, by the accidental discharge of a bullet into it. A eat at Norwich Falls, N. Y., is bringing frogs’ up her kittens on a diet of legs, which she catches for them in a near swamp. At Deep River, Conn., two men. both shoemakers and both 82 years old, re¬ cently died upon the same day and at just the same hour. farm Lightning of W. struck a pine tree on the Ga., and killed F. Spann of Webster county, taken shelter under twenty it. hogs that had Sharks haye appeared at the mouth of the Mersey, England, and Liverpool’s small boys are wearing bowie knives when they go in swimming. A Clinton (Iowa) baby has two grand¬ fathers and two grandmothers, two great¬ grandmothers and one great grandfather, besides parents, to pet it to death. A big willow tree in an upper New York town was blown a foot from the perpendicular in a late storm, but little by little has gone back to uprightness. On the farm of B. Peacock, Thomas ville, Ga., lightning has struck the same building three times within one week, and the building is now about used up. A university is said to have been founded at Bologna by Theodosius about 433, but the real date of the establish¬ ment of the University of Boulogne was 1116. Lincoln Chestnut and Edwiua Arrow smith were wedded at Grafton, Neb., a few weeks ago. The bride’s reply to the usual formula: “Do you take this Chest¬ nut?” was a painful occasion. strain on the sol¬ emnity of the A decidedly rare fruit is the white huckleberries gathered this week im Blooming the Grove, of Penn. The are about size a wild cherry, and are creamy white. They are very sweet. Whether a new variety or a freak of na¬ ture we are not informed. , The old belief that more light-haired persons than dark become insane ha3 gone the way of the other ancient de¬ lusions. Out of 165 patients who are being treated in the Kirkbridge Insane Asylum in Philadelphia all except four are of decidedly darn complexion. Nine years ago a Mrs. Manning, of Paris, Ill., vowed that if her son married a certain young lady who was objection¬ able to her she would go to bed and stay there until she died. The marriage took place, and the mother, true to her reso¬ lution, never left her bed until she was borne to her coffin. There is said to be a smokehouse in the southwestern part of Madison county, Fla., that is a veritable bee hive, and from which large quantities of honey are ly cutting taken throughout the year by mere¬ the comb and catching the liquid honey which pours from it. The have sealed the anterior of the house with comb. The Chinese frequently place little metal idols within the shells of mollusks, removing them several years afterward covered with a substance resembling peari; they also lay strings of small pearls, separated by knots, inside the shells, and on taking them out, after a. lapse of pearls. some years, obtain large and costly About twenty years ago Mrs. Benja¬ min Braughn, of Atlanta, Ga., cut the hair from the head of her little two-year old child, and saved one curl about aa inch and a half in length. A few weeks later the child became ill and died. Yesterday Mrs. Braughn opened the box in which she had laid away the little ringlet, and was astonished to find that it had grown to be two feet in length. Four or five of the head porters in the leading Chicago hotels are collectively Worth over half a million dollars.