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KNOXVILLE
KNOXVILLE, GEORGIA.
After a struggle of eighty years th«
French law has sanctioned cremation.
As an agent of destruction, the cloud¬
burst seems to, have usurped the place ol
tho cyclone.
It is estimated that the country’s total
revenue for the next fiscal year will reach
$440,000,000.
Fishermen on the New England coas(
state that the mackerel are not “school.
ing” in those waters tMs year.
Thereare45,000,000 people in Mexico*
Central and South America representing
a commerce of $1,000,"000,000.
Russia, Germany and Austria have
warned the Swiss Government to deal
more harshly with Socialists and Anarch¬
ists.
The return of land grants made in
western Australia shows that one man
owns and controls nearly 4,000,000
acres.
Annexation to the United States has
become so popular in Newfoundland, as
ierts the Chicago Herald, as to cause
anxiety in London.
The wholesale merchants of Cincinnati
have started a fund to supply their coun¬
try customers with railroad tickets. Ten
merchants have subscribed $3000 each.
Belgium, of all nations, has the great¬
est density of population, the largest di¬
versity of occupation, the most uniform
distribution of wealth and the minimum
of pauperism.
The average annual death-rate in tMs
country from cholera, yellow fever, small
pox, typoid fever, diptheria, and scarlet
fever, all combined, does not reach the
enormous total of deaths from consump
tion.
Nearly all the suburban towns in Eng
land and Ireland are becoming absorbed
into the larger towns. One reason ad
vanced for this is that working people of
all kinds obtain higher wages in the
large cities and are migrating to them in
numbers.
The sending of fresh troops to Egypt is
not viewed with much pleasure by the
English masses, who consider the-country
as a mere trap for simpletons, where death
and pestilence are forever-lying in wait,
[f it comes to a large levy for an iEgyp.
tian campaign there will be trouble.
The New York Observer says that the
number of murders committed in the
United States during the first half of 1887
was 867; of 1888, 941, and of 1889,
1547. It is further stated that during
the first week in July, ninety people»were
stricken down by murderous hands.
The City of Pisa, Italy, recently went
into bankruptcy. Now it appears this is
not the only Italian town similarly situa¬
ted. News comes from Rome that Lodi,
Bosa, Descara, Sicato, Calsanisetta, Sum
monte, Paola, Potenza, Teranio, Pescara
et Caroto have also suspended payment.
Most persons will be surprised when
•they hear that the report of tne Railway
Age concerning the amount of railroad
track laying in the United States for the
first six months of 1889 shows that of the
total number of miles of track laid,
namely, 1522, the South is to be credited
with 909.
The enterprising citizens who invaded
Oklahoma before the time specified by
law and squatted on choice pieces of
land, now find that it is -often best to
make haste slowly. The'Land-Commis¬
sioner got a list of these trespassers,
known as “sooners,” and refused to
issue patents to any of them.
A case has just been decided in the New
Jersey Court of Chancery, in which Vice
Chancellor Van Fleet holds tbata woman’s
marriage to her step-grandson is valid in
spite of the fact that the Catholic priest
who married the couple, on learning of
their relationsMp, informed them that the
narriage was void by the laws of the
Dhurch.
When George Muth, a Cincinnati con¬
lectioner, was brought before Judge
Armsten, of the police court, for selling
ice cream on a recent Sunday, he pleaded
guilty. The prosecutor suggested that
he regard that plea as a demurrer, and the
court accepted the suggestion. The jus
tice said the use of ice cream was no
longer to be classed as a luxury and it a
B ale on Sunday could easily be regarded
as a necessity. * ‘No man was ever incited
by eating of ice cream to go .home and
beat his wife and break up the furniture,
and I have no sympathy with the efforts
of saloon men to make the law against
them odious by pusMng the* enforcement
of the common labor law." Mr. Muth
was dismissed.
SOMTE DAY.
“They’ll all come back again,” she said,
That by-gone summer day.
The while we watched the goodly ships
Upon the placid bay.
“They sail so far, they sail so fast, upon their
shining way.
But they will come again, I know, some day
—some other day.”
Some day 1 So many a watcher sighs,
When wind-swept waters moan,
With, tears pressed back, still strives to
dream
Of the glad coming home.
Good ships sail on o’er angry waves, ’neatb
skies all tempest gray,
For quivering lips so bravely tell: “They’ll
come again—some day!”
Some day! We say it o’er and o’er,
, To cheat our hearts, the while
We send our cherished ventures forth,
Perchance with sob or smile;
And tides run out, and time runs on, our life
ebbs fast away,
And yet with straining eyes we watch for
that sweet myth—some day!
Full many a true and heart-sped bark
May harbor find no more,
But Hope her beacon-light will trim
For watchers on the shore;
And those who bide at home and those upon
the watery way,
In toil or waiting, still repeat: “Some day
—some blessed day!”
—Lucy R. Fleming, in Harper’s Bazar.
A FADING PICTURE,
BY GEORGE HALE.
It was a brilliant day in early summer,
but the outer blinds on the windows of
the waiting room of Henry Milford’s
photographic establishment were closed
so that the room seemed almost dark
to one just come in from the sun-lit
street. As the eye grew accustomed,
however, to the semi-twilight, the relief
from the outer glare was grateful. At
one side through an opening partially
closed by a heavy curtain a little glimpse
could be had of the operating room, or
studo, as Milford preferred to have it
called.
Mr. Milford was busily engaged in pre- ■
paring for the printing of some pictures
which seemed to Mm to require more par¬
ticular care and attention than usual, and
it did not please him to be interrupted.
Such a day for work seldom came to him.
It did not allay his irritation any to be
asked abruptly, as he was, upou entering
the waiting room.
“Mr. Milford, can you take a picture
forme?”
The young lady who asked this turned
her attention almost immediately to some
examples of Mr. Milford’s work hanging
on the walls.
“It is almost impossible to see these, it
is so dark,” she said, “but it is so pleas¬
ant to escape the horrid glare of the
street.”
Henry Millford was fond of his work,
wMch he considered art, and he had car¬
ried it to a rare degree of perfection. He
was very conscientious, too, and in pos¬
ing Ms sitters before thecamera he would
take as much care and exercise as much
intelligence as could any artist in arrang¬
ing his models or draperies. He was
proud of Ms finished work, and always
impatient of criticism. It was for this
reason, perhaps, that he had made Mm¬
self somewhat exclusive. At all events,
whatever the reason, he would discrimin¬
ate as he pleased among the many appli¬
cants for sittings. To those whose ap¬
pearance or manners did not please Mm,
he would always say that he had too many
engagements to take their pictures. In
truth, he had obtained such a reputation
and had so many applications that he was
almost compelled to select from them.
“I am very busy—I do not know,” he
replied.
Miss Mitchell, his present caller, was
a little annoyed and perhaps a little sur¬
prised as well.
“You see, Mr. Milford continued,
“In this climate of ours one has so few
days in wMch he can work. Unfortu
nately, I am compelled to think very much
about the weather.”
On this particular day there seemed to
be very little reason for tMs backward
ness. Indeed, inasmuch as he had made
up Ms mind that he would really like to
take Miss Mitchell’s picture, this pretence
of not wishing to do so was folly; but habit
was much too strong for him.
“Pardon me!” she said. “I did not
know. I thought that this would be
just the sort of day.”
“Andso it really is,” he said quickly.
“If you sit here a few minutes I will ar
range the room and camera.”
He answered with such alacrity and
Ms manner had so changed that Julia
Mitchell was surprised more than ever,
She was not sure that she was not fright
ened a little. He, however, had carefully
studied her and had decided just the pose
which he thought would suit her. He
was now as enthusiastic as he had before
beenotherwise.
These perhaps will interest _ jou while
you are waiting, he said, as he placed
in her hand several photographs.
“But,” she rephed, “I ought to make
some preparations, too.
Oh, your hat, he said, ‘ and your
hair. But I wish you would let me take
the first one of you just as you are ”
It seemed to him that he could not
quickly enough make the necessary ar
rangements ; but at last everytMng was
ready and Juba Mitchell s wish-was grati
fied; at least, four negatives had been
made and she hoped soon to receive a
finished picture of herself which would
please her.
Time went on and Miss Mitchell did
not receive her pictures as promptly as
she had hoped she might. She called upon
Mr. Milford to urge him to greater haste,
but he met all her complaints with good
humor, yet made very little effort to
please her. In truth, he enjoyed her
visits, and, perhaps, he purposely delayed
the completion of her pictures in order
that she might be led in as often as pos
sible. Her impatience with the delay
rather amused him, and their talk was in
teresting to him. And so, indeed, itwas
to her, although, it may be, she would
not have so acknowledged, if she had
srrStJ Sl&tSt
time to time, as he finished them.
There soon came a day, however, when
he had to confess, that although her pio
tures were not finished, the negatives
promised well.
have “I think,” said Mr. Milford, “weshall
“Oh, some let very good things there."
answered. me see them,” Miss Mitchell
4 ‘I want to know what I look
like.”
This was going ahead a little . too fast
to please Milford.
“I do not tMnk you can tell,” he said,
“I would much rather have you wait till
they are quite completed. There is so
much m the printing, you know.”
“Yes,” she replied dolefully, “I sup
pose so, but do let me see the nega
tivos. Then perhaps I shall know just
how much there is in the printing.”
Milford demurred, but finally yielded,
She took the negatives and looked them
over critically. When she handed them
back she expressed her gratification with
^ em -
Milford kept one of the completed
pictures and guarded it with jealous care.
He was, it must be confessed, sometimes
tempted to exhibit it as an example of
the perfection to wMch Ms art could be
carried, but this temptation never lasted
long. He kept it by Mm, however, as
much as he safely could. At Ms break¬
fast, which he took in a lonely way in
Ms apartments, he had it before Mm at
the table; and, as often through the day
as he could, he would hasten from Ms
studio to steal a parting glance at it.
• It seemed to him that it varied in ap¬
pearance from day to day. He thought
that he could read in it of Miss Miteh
el’s changing moods. If the eyes lost
their sad expression, and were smiling,
as they sometimes were, he felt that she
was happy; if they were more sad than
usual he wondered what had happened
to distress her. And sometimes, too,
he would discover it in other signs,
and then he feared that she was ill.
Alarmed at its growing power over Mm,
and annoyed that he was so little able to
resist its influence, he at last placed it in
a seldom used portfolio. He was deter¬
mined not to look at it again. TMs de¬
termination he adhered to for some time,
perhaps a week or longer. In the mean¬
time Miss Mitchell’s visits had entirely
ceased. Milford knew that there was no
reason why she should call, and he
laughed somewhat sadly as he admitted
to Mmself that he wished it had been
otherwise. He now resolutely deter¬
mined that he would forget her, and that
he would not again look upon the picture;
but he found himself thinking much more
of Miss Mitchell and of the picture than
of matters needing Ms attention. One
day he took the portrait from its Mding
place and examined it carefully.
He was startled. It seemed to Mm
that the picture was less distinct than it
had been. So much was he impressed
that he looked at it frequently thereafter,
and was soon convinced that he had been
right, that it was growing less and less dis¬
tinct. Though interested more than ever,
and puzzled as well, he again determined
that he would think of it no longer,
and replaced the picture in the port¬
folio. He busied Mmself so successfully
that he was able to overcome, in some
measure, Ms longing for the picture and
original; but for a few days only.
Then he hastened again to the portfolio.
There could be no question about it; the
picture had perceptibly faded since he had
last looked at it. It was now barely dis¬
cernible.
“It has almost gone,” he said to Mm¬
self sadly, “and she—can it be that she
is going too?"
This thought almost unmanned Mm.
Now he realized for the first time what
her loss would mean to him; now he
knew how empty would be his life if she
should be taken away.
He was at this moment called upon by
a gentleman who surprised him by ask¬
ing:
“Will it be possible for me to procure
some duplicates of the pictures you re
C ently took to Miss Mitchell?”
Milford’s annoyance was apparent, but
he tried to say, politely:
“I should be glad to oblige you, sir;
but of course it would not be proper for
me to do as you ask.”
“Indeed! Why, may I ask?”
* ‘You can readily see that I cannot dis
pose of any duplicates except at the re
quest of the sitters themselves. ”
“Oh, certainly! But I come at the re
quest of Miss Mitchell.”
“Is she not well, then?” asked Milford
in quick alarm.
“No; indeed, she has been very ill.”
“I will prepare them for you at once,”
Milford said, anxious now to be rid of
his visitor as quickly as possible, and
hurriedly making a note of the ordei
given “ Mm.
“At least,” he said to himself, “at
least, I shall know about her.”
Yielding to Ms sudden panic, ha
seized Ms hat and rushing from Ms
studio, with little thought of the crowd
ing carriages, he ran across Broadway,
and then, almost disregarding the people
against whom he jostled in his hurry, he
hastened on to the street in wMch Miss
Mitchell lived.
As he ran he would not permit Mmself
to tell what it was he feared; but as he
neared the house there was the very s%ht
he had most dreaded. That long line of
carriages could have but one meaning;
and now he hoped only to see her face
once more.
Eluding the grasp of the attendant al
the door he entered the house, and the
sound of music reached Mm, music that
he knew to be full of joy and hope, to
others, though to him it seemed a knell.
As Milford turned to go sorrowfully
away, realizing now the truth, Miss
Mitchell, leaning on another’s arm, came
out into the hall and bright and happy
faces crowded about her, while laughing
voices wished her happiness and*good
fortune.— The Epoch,
“
President Carnots „
Luxurious Train.
President Carnot has a particularly
luxurious train in wMch -he travels from
one end of France to the other. It con
sists of five carriages, all furnished with
the greatest elegance and each costing on
an average, $16,000.
A kbinocekos of the sea.
■
CATCHIN G A GREAT SWORDFISH
FF BLOCK ISLAND.
Paraphernalia of a Fisherman—The
, Death-Dealing Dart—An Ocean
i Monster's Desperate Fight for Life.
j Ex-Congressman Amos J. Cummings
writes from Block Island to the New
! York Sun a breezy account of a trip after
swordfish which he took in a small
j J schooner. Island We quote as follows: the
Block lies at entrance
J of Long Island Sound, between Narra
gansett Bay and Montauk. The island
has about 1200inhabitants in winter and
between 5000 and 6000 in summer. The
natives are mostly hardy fishermen,
The Napoleon of all the finny tribe is
the swordfish. He is courageous and
voracious. T,lkp. the rhinoceros, he
tarries a deadly weapon upon his nose,
a,ud is unscrupulous in its use. Indeed,
he may be aptly termed the rhinoceros of
the seas. The waters of Block Island are
his summer home. Nowhere in American
seas does he appear in greater numbers.
His weight here runs from 150 to 600
pounds. His flesh sells in Eastern markets
it from fifteen to twenty cents per pound.
A. score or more of smacks are now en¬
gaged in the fishery.
It is glorious sport. I shipped for a
Say on the schoonor Mystery, a regular
fishing boat. It was 6 a. m. when I
boarded her. As we mounted the swells
of the Atlantic I sat in an armchair and
scanned the little craft with a critical
eye. There was nothing ornamental about
her. She was equipped for business
alone. Four or five red kegs, rigged as
floats, for use after the fish is struck, were
upon end near the cabin. Two rusty
lances shaped like sboeknives, gave a hint
of the coming conflict. They were after¬
ward used in giving the death blow to
a great fish.
Away off on the tip of the bowsprit
was a small pen made of iron bars and
shaped like the lectern of an Episcopal
church. It is called a pulpit. From
Ibis pulpit the expert hurls a brass dart
into the fish below Mm. The swaying
vessel tosses him above the waves, as,
harpoon in hand he awaits the coming of
the monster.
The little schooner was manned by
three persons, including the skipper and
steward. The former was Captain ¥m.
F. Hooper, a well-knit young man, with
blue eyes and more than ordinary intelli¬
gence. A bronzed sea-dog was the
steward. He had short gray hair, a
merry eye and paws like pine knots. The
crew was a sawed-off little fellow about
five feet two inches long.
With all sail set we headed for Nan¬
tucket. The steward took the tiller,
wMle the crew lighted a pipe and ciimbed
the foremast to act as a lookout. Above
the peak block there was a small plat¬
form, upon which he took his stand.
After lasMng Mmself to the mast, he
shaded his eyes with his hand and began
to scan the ocean in search of a fish.
Meantime the skipper rigged his dart
and glided along the bobstay to the pul¬
pit. He lashed the haipoon across a
stancMon and returned to the deck. Not
long afterward he swung a little seat
from the rear of the pulpit, and sat
down therein while awaiting a call from
the masthead.
We were well out to sea, and nearing
the feeding grounds of the swordfish.
The sun was hot, but the breeze was cool
and refresMng. Half an hour passed. A
dozen schooners and sloops were within
two miles of us. The little speck over
their bowsprits told us that they were
upon the same errand as ourselves. Sud¬
denly we saw a red keg shooting over
the waves. At times it disappeared like
the float of a rod and reel when a big
fish has been struck. Anon it came to
the surface and fairly sizzed over the
water. A sloop not far away came about
and picked it up, but she was so distant
when she secured the fish that we could
not see how large it was. WitMn twenty
minutes I saw the skipper of a sloop on
our left strike a fish. He was a tall, ath¬
letic man, with a long reach. As he
stood upon the bowsprit silhouetted
against the sky, harpoon aloft, he made a
picture not easily forgotten. He struck
the fish as it was disappearing under the
bow of the sloop.
Another monotonous hour passed. The
steward held on to the tiller, and scanned
the horizon for novelties. Montauk
Point loomed up in the south like a low
cloud.
“Hold her up,” suddenly shouted the
lookout. “There’s a big fish on the
weather bow.”
The skipper saw the monster, and be¬
gan to poise his iron. “Right your
wheel,” he roared, “and haul her up on
the wind!”
Two great fins began to cut the water
not forty feet away. I sprang upon the
cabin. A monstrous fish was lumbering
along in a heavy swell. He was evi¬
dently going to cross our bows if we held
our course,
“Steady—hold her hard!” cried the
skipper, straightening himself on the tip
of the “Steady’she sprit.
i is, sir,” replied the stew
ard , hold g the tiller up so hard that
his face was purpled and the veins in Ms
ae ck were distended,
Closer came the leviathan. The little
schooner pitched in the trough of the
sea . Her mainsail began to flutter. As
s he rose on a swell the fish lurched to
ward the bow. He was a finny giant,
As he rolled at the foot of the swell, the
skipper hurled the iron into Mm. It
struck him near the forefin, and he sank
under the bow.
“Slack the main sheet? Keep her
off!” screamed the skipper, as he drew
the stick from the dart, and shot away
f r0 m the pulpit.
The huge fish seemed loggy. The line
Bpe d slowly from the tub, and the great
red float was leisurely heaved overboard,
Soon the floating keg showed signs of
life. The breeze had grown stronger,
! ftnd the keg was spinningalong the waves
1 an eighth s of a mile away like a wounded
j duc ^
“That fish is going like the deuce,”
: Btdd steward,
i “Stand by to take in the keg " re
j' ’
plied the skipper, as he put the helm
haxdi-adee.
The steward seized a huge gaff hook'as*
the little schooner came about. She was
put upon a new course and gave chase to
the keg. It was a stern chase, but a short
one. The keg was hooked, and drawn
abroad. The slack was taken in, and a
pressure was put upon the fish. He made
a slight resistance. The skipper lashed
the tiller, and came to the assistance of
the steward. Hand over hand they pulled
in the monster. As he neared the vessel
the skipper shouted: “Get the lance,
and stand by to give it to him.”
The steward seized the lance and made
ready to plunge it into the fish as he broke
water. The steward was standing near
the foremast.
“Get aft, get aft 1” roared the skipper,
“so that you can give it to him good.”
Aft went the steward. He stood with
raised lance. The huge fish neared the
boat. His great eye was upturned. He
seemed to sense the gravity of the situa¬
tion in an instant. As the steward was
about to hurl the lance, the immense tail
lashed the water and filled his eyes with
brine. In a jiffy the monster was off
again. The skipper gave line slowly un¬
til at least two hundred feet were taken
out. The fish went to the bottom and
tried to sulk. The pressure, however,
was too great.
All this time the schooner was slowly
holding her course with a lashed tiller.
Both men went at the fish with renewed
earnestness. They worked him from
the bottom inch by inch, holding what
they secured by pressure on the gunwale.
Finally the monster gave way. He came
toward the surface, appearing on each
side of the ship, and darting under the
dory trailing astern. Then he made a
break for the bow, and for some minutes
kept neck and neck with the bowsprit.
Ho next stationed himself under the keel,
and kept headway with the ship. Again
he essayed to reach the bottom. The
strain was too much. He took out not
more than fifty feet of line and rested.
His fighting spirit was gone.
“Now, rush him, rush him up!” cried
the snipper.
Hand over hand the fish was once more
drawn to the surface. As the living blue
log rolled into sight beneath the waves
the skipper seized the lance and made re¬
peated thrusts into its brain, TMs
stunned the monster and made it sick.
It vomited a bushel or more of small fish
and rolled stomach upward. In a flash
the lance sped into its vitals. The water
was dyed with blood. Around the enor¬
mous tail went the bight of a rope, and
by the aid of a tackle block the game
was drawn on deck, its huge head rest¬
ing upon the bow bulwark. There was
a slight spasm and the fish was dead. It
was over sixteen feet long and weighed
over 400 pounds. Its sword was nearly
four feet long and over four inches wide.
As the great fish died it took on all the
eblors of the rainbow. Its back, head
and sword were at first of a beautiful
bronze, and its under side pearly silver
in color. A dying dolphin alone could
have shown more lovely tints. The eyes
were exquisite. They were the size of
ice cream plates. The pupils were as
large as half dollars and as transluctant
as moonstones. The tail was spread out
like the wings of an eagle.
The huge fish was rolled forward and
covered with a tarpaulin. The decks
were washed, the sails set anew, and the
schooner Mystery sailed homeward, while
the red lights of a setting sun illumined
the ocean.
Hints as to Shaving.
Never fail to well wash your beard
with soap and cold water, and then rub
it dry, immediately before you apply the
lather, of which the more you use and
the thicker it is the easier you will shave.
Never use warm water, which makes
the face (of shavers) tender.
In cold weather place your razor
(closed of course) in your pocket or
under your arm to warm it.
The moment you leave your bed (or
bath) is the best time to shave.
Always wipe your razor clean, and
strop it before putting it away; and al¬
ways put your shaving brush away with
the lather on it.
The razor, being only a fine saw, should
be moved in a sloping or sawing direc¬
tion and held nearly flat to your face,
care being taken to draw the skin as
tight as possible with the left hand, so
as to present an even surface and to throw
out the beard.
The practice of pressing on the edge
of the razor in stropping it soon rounds
it; the pressure should be directed to the
back, which should never be raised from
the strop. If you shave from heel to
point of razor, strop it from point to
heel, but if you begin with the point in
shaving then strop it from heel to poiat.
If you only once put away your razor
without stropping it or otherwise perfect¬
ly cleaning the edge, you may no longer
expect to shave well and easy, the soap
and damp so soon rust the fine teeth and
edge.
A piece of soft plate leather should
always be kept with razors to wipe them
with .—Medical Classics.
Americans Neglect the Mushroom.
It is a curious thing that concerning
the mushroom, which is to he found
everywhere in such abundance, and wMch
would make so valuable an article of food
if properly used, Americans are generally
so ignorant that as a rule that they can
not tell it from a toadstool; and although
nearly every Irishwoman can bring in *
basket of mushrooms out of hand, eve*
then many are afraid to eat them. Cer¬
tain people will claim that anything with
side—is gills—parallel edges will lining all the under
edible, but not eat it them¬
selves; others claim that the gill must be
of a particular color. These will have
only the mushroom grown in a cellar,
those only the mushroom grown with
nothing between it and the sky. The
mushroom loved in Italy is rejected in
England, and the best English mushroom
of all is regarded in Italy as of the same
nature as the evil-eye. It would be well
worth while to have some instruction
made common as to the general nature of
this growth, deleterious the innocence quality of some specie* •
and the of others.—
Argonaut,
THE TRYSTING PLACE.
r*
Westward over th*pa]e green sky
The rosy pennons of sunset-fly;
Westward slowly the great rooks hie,
With cawlingaod laboredflapping;
The bushes blend in a vagueness dark,
And the further trees stand tall and- stalk;
I hear the rushes wnisper and,shake,
As a flutter of wind begins to wake,
And louder grows
In the quick repose
The sound of the river’s lapping.
Still half an hour, by the abbey chime!
I come to the tryst before the time;
I hearken the river’s rippled rhyme
And the sedge’s rustled greeting;
And I cheat my heart with feigned fears;
And sigh as I wait (for nb one hears),
To make the joy more rich and vast
Whan I feel his lips on my own at last
And hear no sound
As the world goes round
But the throb of our two hearts meeting
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
The rule of three—One too many.
An I-glass—The mirror. A Glass
In the mirror.
The stepping-stones to success
“rocks.”— Life.
It is the bearded lady whose face is
her fortune.— Life.
First in war and first in peace—The
letters “w" and “p.”
The good die young. This is particu¬
larly true of cMckens.
“Not in our set,” as the false tooth re¬
marked to the old grinder.
A man experiences that 1 ‘sinking feel¬
ing” when he falls overboard.
Two heads are better than one_On
the shoulders of a museum freak.
No wonder time.is so often killed;
is struck every hour.—®. Louis Magazine.
A youth—the subject of the rhyme—
Spent all his strength in killing time.
As years rolled on—the truth is grim—
Time took his turn and slaughtered him.
—Merchant Traveler.
There is no reason in the world why a
“baby show” shouldn’t be a howling suc
cess.
A real life-saving station is always
managed —Picayune. by sailors, and not by doctors.
TMs is the turning period in the life of
the farmer’s boy if there is a
on the place .—Binghamton Republican.
When a washerwoman changes
place of residence one may ask her *
she hang3 out now" without using slang.
When the maiden dons a muslin gown,
And the dog has a muzzle on too,
.
’Tis then we sigh to get out of town
And down by the ocean blue.
—Boston Courier.
Mrs. Parvenu (to the maid)—“Now,
Lucy, you may do up my hair.” Lucy —i
“Yes, mum. Shall I doit up in paper
or get a box?”
A hard storm is often alluded to as
rain of cats and dogs, but a biting storm
is probably when the fall is confined
canines exclusively.— Harper's Bazar.
A man was arrested the other day
stealing an umbrella and tried to get
by saying that he was trying to lay some¬
thing by for a rainy day.—Boston Post.
The sheriff’s notice thus supplies
A moral and a tale;
The man who failed to advertise,
Is advertised to fail.
—Philadelphia Press.
“Post no bills!” ejaculated Fleecy,
reading the well-known sign seen in
many parts of the city. “Humph! I
never do; I always prefer sending them
by the collector.”—Judge.
When it ain’t rainin’ it’s bakin’;
When it ain’t bakin’ it blows.
When it don’t blow it’s arhailin’.
So get in your coal ’fore it snows.
—Detroit Free Press.
At the Jeweler’s—“But, Max, don’t
you think it extravagant to give $300 fo*
a diamond to wear on my hand?” “Not
at all, my dear; you don’t consider how
much I shall save ou your gloves.”—.
Fliegende Blaetter.
Here lies a man who laughed at death,
For many years he mocked her
Some say he died for lack of breath
And some accuse the doctor.
—New York Sun.
“You must stop tMs smoking during
business hours,” said the head clerk,
“What’s the matter?” inquired one of thq
boys. “The boss says he can’t appreci¬
ate his five cent cigar when you clerks "era
puffing your Henry Clays.”— Epoch.
Mr. Swallowtail—“Sir, I come to con¬
fess a great wrong I was about to da ta
you and to beg your pardon. I
about to elope with your eldest daughter.”
Papa—“Come again; what was the
culty, my dear fellow? Didn’t have
enough money? Let me lend you a couple
of hundred .”—Chicago Herald.
A tenderfoot whittled beside a wood shed.
When some cowboys of Sassafrass City
Caused a shower of bullets to whiz round bis,
And head; he looked
on their efforts with pity.
For he gazed from his dream with a beauti¬
ful smile
On the demons of carnage and bloodshed,
And murmured, “A miss is as good as a
As he mile," carved the ■"
ball out of the woodshed.
— Harper's Bazar.
• Voting by Electricity.
The plan of voting in assemblies
means of the electric current, and thus
avoiding the time lost in making divi¬
sions, has been before the French Cham¬
ber of Deputies, and a report on the sub¬
ject was presented by M. Montant. la
that report the advisability of employe
ing a the macMne which would indicate not!
only total votes “pour” or “contre” and! aj
measure—that is to say the “ayes"
“noes”—hut also the number of volun-i
tary abstentions from voting, as distinct!
from the number of absentees. Such an|
apparatus has been devised by M. La,
Goaziou. On every desk in front of a!
member is placed a small box fitted with!
two handles, wMch the member works'
when handle registering Ms vote. The right!
registers Ms “aye," the left his
“no,” and both moved simultaneously
indicate his abstention from voting. The
results are printed by means of electro¬
magnets in a receiver, and are visible at a
glance. Provision is made for a-membet
to recall and-correct his vote during the
time allowed for tfie purpose. --
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