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THE * ATHENAEUM 139 A ' ~~i I Cream of Wit s ■■ Sap: “Have you an opening for a highly educated student?" Pap: "Yes, but don’t slam it when you go out!" Wife (from bed) “What are you doing with my false teeth?” He (from washstand) “Only cutting off the end of my cigar, dear. Tit: “What makes your cat so small?” Tat: “I brought him up on condensed milk." Judge: “Prisoner, the jury finds you guilty." Prisoner: “That’s all right judge: I know you’re too intelligent to be influenced by what they say.” Prof. Frazier at 3 a. m. “What do you mean waking me at this hour?" Student imbued with race consciousness: “1 just want to pay a penny on my N. A- A. C. P. account, professor." Mother: “Don’t ask so many questions child, curiority killed a cat?" Willie: “Mamma, what did the cat want to know?" Angry Papa, at 3 a. m.: “Mary ask your friend if he likes his toast buttered.” Orchestra leader: “We will now play, “Home, Sweet Home?" Cornettist: “What? Why that’s the one I just played.” Grocer’s Wife: “Hiram, you’ll have to stop selling "Shredded Wheat! The Mattress on my bed is so thin now that I can feel the springs through it.” H—tells me that a certain member of the basket ball team has a mouth so big he whispers in his own ear.