Newspaper Page Text
DECEMBER 24,2002
1 want a surprise'
[; i y ;
Jackie Cooper
Columnist
jkershawcooper@aol.com
From the very first
Christmas that I can remem
ber, when I was asked what I
wanted Santa Claus to bring
me I answered, “A surprise!”
Now you can imagine what
that did to my family. They
reminded me that Santa need
ed a clue. But I wouldn’t
budge. I wanted a surprise and
that was it.
Then on Christmas morning
I would wake up, go into the
living room and announce I
didn’t get my surprise. Then I
turned on my heels and went
back to bed. Talk about a rot
ten kid, I was the poster child
in this instance.
When I was fourteen my
mother died, never having had
the pleasure of giving me “my
surprise.” Lord knows she had
tried. She had asked me con
stantly what my surprise
would be, and I had stuck with
the fact that although I didn’t
know what it was, I would
know it when I got it.
At least as I got older I quit
talking about the surprise. I
did have that much sense. But
inside I still had that hunger
for the unknown present that
would make me feel satisfied.
Christmases came and went
and I still felt I was missing
out on something undefined.
When I went off to college I
selected Erskine College in
Due West, South Carolina. It
was an Associate Reformed
Presbyterian school, but a lot
of my high school classmates
chose to go there and I did too.
My Baptist father wondered
why I hadn’t chosen Furman.
Anyway, one of the high
lights of the Christmas season
was the adopting of a child
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from a nearby orphanage. You
adopted the child in the sense
that you bought him or her a
Christmas gift. My best friend
at the school was all involved
in it and he convinced me to
join in too.
A month or so before
Christmas a group of children,
mainly the new kids to the
orphanage, were brought over
and introduced to us “spon
sors.” We got to choose the
child we wanted. I chose a lit
tle girl named Virginia,
because that is my mother’s
name and I thought that rea
son enough to select her. The
lady from the orphanage who
came with them told me
Virginia was not a child that
talked much or demonstrated
affection. It seems she was an
abused child.
While I was in college my
father sent me five dollars a
week. That was the money I
used to date, buy cokes, etc.
Now, five dollars went further
back then but it still wasn’t a
lot of money. It seemed even
less when I saw a doll that I
thought Virginia would like -
and it cost eleven dollars. Still
I managed to scrimp and save
and get the money, and get the
doll.
When the day arrived to give
the presents, I didn’t know
what to expect. I didn’t know
if Virginia would like the doll,
especially since I had no sis
ters and was clueless as to
what was “in” for little girls
that year. So I was apprehen
sive as she unwrapped the box.
When she saw what it was
her face lit up. She clutched it
to her, and then put it aside as
she came over and reached up
and hugged my neck. I heard
the woman who was with
them saying to someone. “Well
now that’s a surprise!”
Then and there I had my
epiphany. It was the surprise I
had been waiting for all my
life. And all it took was giving
instead of getting.
I hope you got your “sur
prise” this Christmas, and I
hope it came because you gave
as well as received.
Open 2ft Hours!
Wcp pUmston ptame
Memories of Christmases past
The room was probably not more
than 15 feet by 20 feet and it had in
it a dresser, bed, six or eight chairs,
and a pot-bellied stove. Linoleum
on the floor. Extra wood stacked
next to the stove. And, that is where
we would gather at Grandma and
Papa’s (my Walker Grandparents
in Washington County, Georgia) for
Christmas. It would be the six in
our family, the four in my Aunt
Lillian’s family, and Grandma and
Papa The talk would be of the rela
tives (always of the relatives), other
matters of current interest, perhaps
a little politics, the past crop year,
and of the weather. Then, there
might be a discussion of how to spell
a particular word, or of what the
word meant. Then perhaps a dis
cussion of the correct usage of a
verb or noun or of a particular word
or phrase. My Aunt Lillian had
been a school teacher as had my
Will you supvive Christmas? A quiz.
I’ll admit I had help with this.
Thanks to Ndda Tawse for the ini
tial inspiration, and to James
Tidwell for some of the punch lines.
1. Your mother-in-law looks
over the five desserts on the
table and says that it’s just not
Christmas without mincemeat
pie. You
(a) point out to her that you
began making mincemeat in
October, by mincing the meat,
apples and raisins according to
Martha Stewart’s recipe, and stor
ing it in an earthenware crock, and
that you are about to begin cutting
butter into the flour for a home
made latticework pie crust.
(b) rush out and get a frozen
mincemeat pie
(c) say “Mince this!”
2. If you are given one of
those clocks that makes bird
noises every hour on the hour.
You
(a) put it in the hall closet to give
to someone else next year
Top ten
reasons
-
l||#
Kefly Burke
Houston County
District Attorney
As we close out this year, I
thought I would tell you how
grateful I am to be your district
attorney by giving you a “Top Ten
List.”
Top Ten Reasons To Be The
District Attorney of Houston
County
10. You get to go out on late
night calls to meet with undercov
er drugs agents who always want
to go eat.
9. You get your own parking
space at the new courthouse.
8. You get to argue with Public
Defender Terry Everett about
everything and anything.
7. You get to go to cool confer
ences about blood spatter, mecha
nisms of death, and post-mortem
autopsies (Aren’t all autopsies
“post mortem”?)
6. You have the most technical
ly advanced DA office in Georgia,
in the newest courthouse in
Georgia.
5. The county gives you a
turkey at Christmas.
4. You have the greatest staff in
the world.
3. You get to try murder cases
and other violent felonies, which
while tragic, always have superb
police work behind them and all
police resources are instantly
available at your call.
2. You work with clerks, bailiffs,
security personnel, judges and
attorneys who are concerned
about serving the public. It is
truly a noble calling.
1. You have the opportunity to
learn about Houston County
from the top to the bottom. It is a
wonderful county with so much
to offer. The people are what
make it best.
As always, if you ever have a
question about the District
Attorney’s Office, please do not
hesitate to call or email us. I’m
looking for story ideas for the
coming year, so if there is any
thing you want to know about, let
me know. Have a great holiday
season and a super 2003!
SSfegdy. ■ ’ slhhl
Larry Walker
Columnist
lwalker@whgbc.com
father. Mother was sharp on words
and correct usage and my Unde
Jim, an engineer, was very smart. It
seemed to me that they always got
the correct answer.
Papa never had much to say. He
just kept cutting holes in the
oranges and supplying them to all
the family. Then, he might get up,
(b) hang it in a place of honor in
your living room
(c) hang it from the chandelier
and tell everybody it’s a state-of
the-art pinata
3. You find yourself beneath
the mistletoe with touchy-feel
ing Uncle Bubba. You
(a) Point out that the mistletoe is
artificial and simply there for deco
rative purposes.
(b) Accept a hug and turn your
face in time to be kissed on the
back of your head.
(c) Use that handy can of pepper
spray.
4. Cousin Florinda arrives as
a big surprise, bearing gifts.
You
(a) take one of the dozen pre
wrapped Claxton fruitcakes from
under the tree, change the tag and
hand it over.
(c) quickly rewrap the clock that
makes bird noises
(b) act as if you don’t recognize
her
5. Cousin Bob arrives with a
half gallon of his homemade
scuppemong wine. You
(a) Thank him profusely and say
you want to save it for New Year’s
Eve.
(b) Whisper to him that another
family member who cannot be
named has just joined a twelve-step
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Perry - 218-2274
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11:30 til 2
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Reservations
Recommended
go out the side door and across the
dirt road, returning in a short peri
od of time with another load of
wood for the stove. Then, back to
cutting holes in oranges or peeling
apples. Someone might ask, 'Papa,
what did you get for Christmas?' To
which he would probably reply: "A
pretty little new nothing." All the
while, cutting or peeling.
Later in the afternoon, Uncle Jim
and I might go squirrel hunting or
try to see if we could find a few
doves to shoot - or to shoot at (I real
ize that you should not end a sen
tence with "at," but it sounds so
right). I was always intrigued by
Daddy’s letting me hunt on
Christmas Day when he wouldn’t
allow me to hunt on any Sunday -
or, for that matter, fish, or go to the
movie, or wash the car, etc. But
that’s material for another column.
When Unde Jim and I went
a|?
Charlotte Web
By Charlotte Perkins
cperkms@evansnewspapers.com
program and it would be better to
leave it in the back of his truck.
(c) Break out the styrofoam cups.
6. Everything is ready but
the dressing which is for some
reason still the consistency of
soup. You
(a) mix in two packages of Stove-
Top
(b) add cornstarch and bring to
boil
(c) put it in bowls, top with
Cousin Bob’s homemade scup
pemog wine, light with a match
and serve as Christmas Chowder
Flambe’.
7. Little Clarissa and little
Todd begin amusing them
selves by stamping chocolate
Santa Clauses into your living
room rug. Their father is
Casual. Citation Joining UJith jA 'Couch of Ctahf
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hunting, I might have with me the
20-gauge Mossberg bolt-action
shotgun that Santa Claus brought
me when I was about 12 years old.
It was not an expensive shotgun. In
fact, it was a very inexpensive gun.
But, it is the only gun I have ever
owned - and I still own it - with
which I shot down four ducks in
flight with one shot. If you don’t
believe me, ask Perry’s Bobby
Tuggle. He saw it when it hap
pened.
What great memories. What a
wonderful way to learn about my
family heritage. What abundant
and manifested love. What great
Christmases from my past.
Thanks for the memories. And
thanks to you, Papa, for the oranges
with holes for sucking and for keep
ing us warm while we were making
the memories.
watching footbalL Their moth
er is taking a nap. You
(a) Get the little ones together at
the kitchen table and teach them
how to cut five pointed stars from
gold foil
(b) Distract them by giving them
the bird dock, and a hammer, and
asking them if they can set the
birdies free.
(c) Practice your primal scream.
8. It is 11 p.m. but your sister
and brother-in-law cannot
leave for home because your
nine year old niece has lost
Rapunzel Barbie’s right shoe
and is weeping, sobbing and
shrieking. You
(a) Hug Jenny Jo, tell her you
feel her pain, and that you will mail
it to her the minute you find it.
Ob) Have some scuppemong wine
and start looking through the vac
uum cleaner bag just in case.
(c) Offer Jenny Jo S2O, a Claxton
fruitcake and a really cute dock if
she will stop sniveling and go
home.
If you must have your score on
this, give yourself two points for
every (a) answer; five points for
every (b) answer, and twelve points
for every (c) answer. The more
points you get the better you are at
surviving Christmas Day!
DINNER
Mon. - Thurs.
5 til 9:30
Fri.-Sat.
5 tii 10
Closed Sunday
& Holidays
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