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THE HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL
Older sibling of new baby needs attention, too
QUESTION: Before
our baby was born last
month, our 3-year-old
daughter, April, was
thrilled about having a
new brother or sister.
Now, however, she shows
signs of jealousy, sucking
her thumb sullenly when
I nurse the baby and get
ting very loud and silly
when friends drop by.
Please suggest some
ways I can ease her
through this period of
adjustment.
DR. DOBSON: Your
daughter is revealing a
“textbook” reaction to the
invasion that has occurred
in her private kingdom. It is
typical for such a preschool
er to throw temper
tantrums, wet the bed, suck
her thumb, mess her pants,
hold tightly to Mama, talk
“baby talk,” etc. Since the
baby gets all the attention
by being helpless, the older
King birthday observed
HENDERSON- The Gospel Center, 212
Whitworth Rd., will observe the birthday of
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on Sunday at
11:30 a.m. The guest speaker will be
Evangelist Marie Rachel. All are invited.
liiesday fellowship
PERRY - The Family Life Center at new
Life of Perry is the center for a gathering
and dinner each Tuesday evening from 5:30
to 6:30 p.m. There is no cost for the dinner.
A nursery is provided for children two and
Doubts of God's
By TERRY MATTINGLY
Scripps Howard News
Service
Believers often wrestle
with tragedy and death on
the Mukono campus of the
Uganda Christian
University.
Families are large and dis
ease common, affecting
young and old. Terrorism
and tribal conflicts in this
culture often lead to vio
lence, injury and death.
"Someone will say, 'My
brother died last night,' and
he will say it as a simple
statement of fact," said the
Rev. Stephen Noll, vice
chancellor of this Anglican
Church of Uganda school.
"Someone may report that a
particular student will not
be returning to class
because he was killed in an
ambush by the 'Army of
God.’"
It took time for Noll to
adjust, after leaving his post
I recall once hearing a
message centered on the
personal relationship of
Christ in connection with
various careers.
Among the careers men
tioned were:
Artist: “I am altogether
lovely.”
Architect: “I am the Chief
Cornerstone.”
Banker: “I am the Hidden
Treasure.”
Doctor: “I am the Great
Physician.”
Educator: “I am the
Great Teacher.”
Farmer: “I am the Lord of
Harvest.”
Florist: “I am the Rose of
Sharon.”
Juror: “I am the
Righteous Judge.”
Jeweler: “I am the Pearl
of Great Price.”
Publisher: “I am Good
Serving Houston County
Perry • Warner Robins
Member FDIC
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Bank of Middle Georgia
Dr. James Dobson
Focus on the Family
www.family.org
child will often try to “out
baby the baby,” behaving in
immature ways from an ear
lier stage of development.
That pattern seems to be
occurring with your little
girl. Here’s what I would
suggest:
1. Bring her feelings out in
the open and help her ver
balize them. When she is
as dean of an American sem
inary to help support the
growing churches in Africa.
He watched the faithful face
so much pain and loss with
out losing faith in a compas
sionate and just God.
"It's not that they don't
grieve," he said. "They know
- as a common fact of life
-that bad things happen to
good people. They accept
that in the context of their
faith."
Thus, Third World believ
ers may wonder why leaders
in privileged lands such as
Great Britain and the
United States have been so
quick to point angry fingers
at the heavens following the
Indian Ocean tsunami.
For example, Anglican
leaders in Uganda were sur
prised by this headline in
the Sunday Telegraph in
London: "Archbishop of
Canterbury _ this has made
me question God's exis-
lam
Earline Cole
Reflections
marybobl 7@juno.com
Tidings of Great Joy.”
Statesman: “I am the
Desire of all Nations.”
To the sinner, He says, “I
am the Lamb of God that
taketh the sin of the world.”
To the Christian: “I am
the Son of the Living God”
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acting silly in front of
adults, take her in your
arms and say, “What’s the
matter, April? Do you need
some attention today?”
Gradually, a child can be
taught to use similar words
when she feels excluded or
rejected. “I need some atten
tion, Dad. Will you play with
me?” By verbalizing her
feelings, you also help her
understand herself better.
2. Don’t let infantile
behavior succeed. If she
cries when the baby sitter
arrives, leave her anyway. A
temper tantrum can be
greeted by firmness.
However, reveal little anger
and displeasure, remember
ing that the entire episode is
motivated by a threat to
your love.
3. Meet her needs in ways
that grant status to her for
being older. Take her to the
park, making it clear that
the baby is too little to go;
FAMILY&FAITH BRIEFS
under and there is a Kid’s Power Hour for
children ages 3 through 10. A worship serv
ice follows the dinner. All are invited and
the church will provide transportation with
in the Perry area. Cal (478) 988-LIFE.
King Celebration
PINEHURST - The Dooly County Branch
of the NAACP will observe its annual coun
tywide celebration of the birthday of Dr.
Martin Luther King, Jr. on Sunday at 6 p.m.
at the Evergreen Missionary Baptist Church
in Pinehurst. The Rev. Choice Cobb Sr. will
existence following the tsunami
tence." The online version
was just as blunt: "Of course
this makes us doubt God's
existence."
Press officers for
Archbishop Rowan Williams
protested that these head
lines radically oversimpli
fied the truths that the the
ologian and poet had tried to
communicate in his com
plex, candid tsunami essay.
Critics had focused on his
statement that it was wrong
for Christians not to doubt
the goodness, or even the
existence, of the biblical God
in the face of 150,000
deaths.
"Every single random,
accidental death is some
thing that should upset a
faith bound up with comfort
and ready answers," wrote
Williams. "Faced with the
paralyzing magnitude of a
disaster like this, we natu
rally feel more deeply out
raged. ... The question 'How
Climaxing the thoughts
share by the revival pastor is
an additional “I Am.”
To one and all, Jesus says,
“I am the way, the truth and
the life; no man cometh
unto the father but by me.”
- John 14:6
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FAMILY&FAITH
talk “up” to her about the
things she can do that the
baby can’t she can use the
bathroom instead of her
pants, for example. Let her
help take care of the baby so
she will feel that she is part
of the family process.
Beyond these corrective
steps, give your daughter
some time to adjust to her
new situation. Even though
it stresses her today, she
should profit from the real
ization that she does not sit
at the center of the universe.
• • •
QUESTION: In recent
months, there have been
two occasions where a
woman at work has made
a pass at me. I love my
wife deeply, have no
interest in this lady, and
have communicated this
to her in no uncertain
terms. Do you think I
should share these inci
dents with my wife?
be the keynote speaker, and the Gospel
Stars of Lilly will sing. People from all sur
rounding areas are invited.
Clergy Appreciation
WARNER ROBINS - The Warner Robins
Civitan Club will sponsor a Clergy
Appreciation Luncheon on Tuesday, Feb. 1.
This event will honor all clergy of the com
muity. It will begin at 12:30 p.m. and include
a viit from Uncle Sam. For more informa
tion, and to register, please call Pat Spivey
at (478) 328-8551
can you believe in a God who
permits suffering on this
scale?' is therefore very
much around at the
moment, and it would be
surprising if it weren't -
indeed, it would be wrong if
it weren't. The traditional
answers will get us only so
far."
Meanwhile, religious
believers in violent and
impoverished parts of the
world often find comfort and
coherence in the traditional
answers of their faiths. Noll
stressed that it would be
wrong to oversimplify this.
Nevertheless, he thought
Ugandan responses to the
tsunami were revealing.
"For God the issue of dying
is not as tragic as it is to us
because whether dead or
alive we are still in his pres
ence," said the Rev. Grace
Kaiso of the Uganda Joint
Christian Council. "God
whispers to us in times of
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DR. DOBSON: Yes, I do.
First, because I believe the
healthiest marriages are
those that are open and hon
est on such matters. Second,
because sharing important
information is a step toward
accountability in a situation
that could prove dangerous.
And third, because your wife
should be your best friend
with whom you discuss trou
bling circumstances and
how they will be handled.
My only caution is that
you should be careful not to
reveal these incidents in
order to make your wife jeal
ous or to use them to manip
ulate her. Some spouses
seize an opportunity like
this to play power games
with a mate. Check out your
motives carefully before you
talk to your wife and share
the experience as objectively
as possible. She will appreci
ate you for it.
Finally, I urge you to con
peace and shouts to us in
times of tragedy and unfor
tunately we pay more atten
tion when he shouts. So
through the tsunamis he
was shouting to us and
awakened us to the reality of
death, which can come sud
denly, of his power and of his
salvation which we should
take advantage of."
Imam Kasozi of Uganda's
Muslim Youth Assembly
responded: "God does what
he wants to do. If people are
not responding to his call of
upright living, he will pun
ish them. ... When God
sends punishment, it does
not discriminate between
wrongdoers and the upright
ones. This incident was two
way in that the wrongdoers
were punished and the
upright people who were
doing God's will were taken
early to heaven."
The key, said Noll, is that
many in the West tend to
THE TOG SHOP
FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 2005 ♦
tinue to reject the advances
of the lady in your office,
regardless of how attractive
she is or how flattering her
interest in you may be. To
pursue her may give your
ego a ride now, but only pain
and sorrow lie down that
road for her and for you.
• • •
Dr. Dobson is president of
the nonprofit organization
Focus on the Family, PO.
Box 444, Colorado Springs,
CO. 80903; or
www.family.org.
Dr. Dobson is brought to
you by WCOP 99.9 FM. You
can hear Dr. Dobson
Monday - Saturday at 11:30
a.m., 8 p.m., Sat. 8 p.m.
WeOtP 99.9 FM
Mato
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e omo mw®
question the sovereignty of
God, preferring a "weakened
God or a mystical God or no
God at all" to an omnipotent
God who permits disasters.
"People in traditional soci
eties," said Noll, "face quan
daries of God's justice daily
with the death of a relative
from AIDS ... or a crazed
insurgent and they lean in
the direction of accepting
disasters as God's sovereign
will. They also have a more
vivid belief in the afterlife.
While they mourn the loss of
life, they console themselves
that God's justice will be vin
dicated in the end."
Terry Mattingly
(www.tmatt.net) teaches at
Palm Beach Atlantic
University and is senior fel
low for journalism at the
Council for Christian
Colleges & Universities. He
writes this weekly column
for Scripps Howard News
Service.
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