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l '< W We solicit articles for this department. The name of the writer should accom pany the letter or article, not necessarily for publication, but as an evidence of good faith. • ■’ ’‘' ■' ; * Questions and communications relative to agricultural and horticultural subjects, if addressed to Agri- Editor, Drawer N, Milledgeville, Ga., will yecelve immediate attention. A Goose Question. ®. J. T. writes: “Last spring I had two pair of geese, but lately, getting goose hungry, I killed and ata one of the gan ders. Will It’ be necessary to provide an other gander in order to have the goose propagate?” The one gander will suffice. Hot Bods andGoldFramss-The Differ ence. What is the difference between a “hot bed" and a “cold frame?” One authority says hot beds for on|ons and another says cold frames, afid it puzzles me a little. S. C. R. A hot bed means the use of some heating substance, like fermenting stable manure, placed several inches under the seed bed (in a glass frame,) while a cold frame signifies the absence of such, merely rely ing on the glass frame to collect'the heat to aid the germination of the seeds. Here in our Comparatively mild climate we have never found it necessary to re sort to the stable manure under the seeds. It the glass frame is properly managed there will be enough heat to get any plants tn time to set out as early as it is safe to set out in our climate, and these cold frame raised plants are always health ier than any raised in hot beds. We know of. no plants that cannot be raised to per fection without the aid of under heat in our climate and the hot bed is absolutely unnecessary. Cabbage and Green Peas. My intentions now are to plant two acres in cabbgge and one acre in green peas to ship to northern markets. Will you please tell me the best manure to u§e for each of these cropg, and the time to aoW to get the,earliest crops? B. J. C. Any good fertilizer that Will make corn or cotton will make cabbage and peas. A compost of stable manure and cotton seed ■with a ton of bone dust, along with a 1,000 to 2,000 pounds of ashes, spread broad hiake a wry good manuring for Oljftfer erpp,, Do not expect to make heavy crops of cabbage or peas with goo or 800 pounds of ordinary fertilizer. Do not begrudge manure for these ertips. Put It on most freely, Do not begrudge It. Plant both crops just as soon as the severe weather is over and push them by good cultivation. You cannot put too much manure on the land .anywhere under 125 per acre. For the cabbage it might pay to apply S6O worth. Get your land ready and we will be more explicit in a later is sue. Hogs and Cattle Rating Castor Oil Plants. Agricultural Editor News: As I am an invalid and have to pass my time by reading the News and a few other good papers, I thought I would make an effort to get up a short article for the News. I have had my attention called to the fact that our njilch cow has taken to a patch of castor beans that grew outside our lot, and she, with the help of a neighbor’s cow, have demolished the patch. At llrst we thought it would ruin her milk, but we could not detect any difference. Never having heard of cattle eating castor bean pldntH befpre, I would like to know what you think would be the result if there were enough for a regular every-day, pasture. While the cows were eating the leaves and buds of the castor plant our pigs took to eating the castor beans, and first we thought it would surely kill the last one; but to our surprise they kept flourishing. Not a pig have we lost, nor has one been the least unwell. I write this, hoping to see if this is a naw departure for cows and hogs. G. p, W . Growing Broom Corn. Do you suppose there would be any proflt in growing a few hcras in broom corn .here In Middle Georgia, when is the proper time to plant it, and how much would it probably yield per acre? la there more than ond kind? H. M. C. •From some little experience in the mat ter we assume that broom horn can be grown as successfully tn Georgia as any where, but we cannot say how profitably. Borne years ago there was a broom manu factory in Atlanta, that purchased all the good brush offered, but whether or not hero Is a good market for the brush thei now we cannot say. It is easy enough to grow the corn. It is sown in four foot rows and thined out just like sorghum. It requires some care in cur ing properly for market, and in a later issue we will tell you all about it, so that If you decide to make the venture you will be ■able to make and bale, it prop erly for shipment. It la not planted lw for<» March. There are several varieties of the corn. In th« Garden Notes and Suggestions for December. Many gardeners who read this depart ment find little that they can do this month, as the ground is either covered with snow or hard frozen most of the time. Their only employment will be in the direction pf procuring all necessary seeds, so that they will be prepared to take advantage of the first weather suit able for sowing, and in making of such composts as may be made under a shel- But on another hand, there are a far greater number who are numbered amongst the readers of the New* who will find an abundance of wo-k this month that will go a long ways toward insuring gueceu In the spring. Wet weather will be about the only thing that will prove an impediment to steady and Important work. De<'emb«r Is usually a wet month, not from very heavy “down-pours.” but from the fact that evaporation of moisture takes place so slowly after a saturating rain. After such a rain it is oftentimes a week before the soli dries off sufficiently to allow of being plowed. The average of rainfall In Middle Georgia, obtained from a record continuing over twenty years, is four and a third (4%) Inches. In July or August this quality of rain would not prevent plowing many days in the month, but that amount in December may preVent plowing altogether. It depends altogether how it falls, and the number of cold, cloudy days, whethpr such a quan tity of rain will keep the soil continuously wet—too wet to plow. Whenever It Is prac ticable to do so, and has not been done al ready in November, the initial preparation of the soli should begin this month In most southern gardens, large or small. Where the soil is sandy, or loose from the presence of vegetable matter, no very great advantage is secured by ridging it up in the winter, but all, clay soils or shallow soils are greatly benefited by be ing ridged up and exposed to the helpful influence of frost and freezing. It will un der such soils, be much more easily worked in the spring, and they are not so apt to bake hard later on in the summer. While sandy soil is not especially bene fited from being ridged and exposed to frost, still on account of the ease with which it may be properly manured dur ing the latter part of this month and along through January, It will be found well to ridge it as well as the stiffer soils. This ridging is done either with a narrow turn shovel pf turn scooters run ning furrows as close as possible without throwing any soil into the furrow pre viously made. This will have the soli in a somewhat the appearance of a corrugated roof. When the soil Is dry enough or hard from being frozen, such stable ma nure or other organic matter of a coarse nature can be hauled out and spread broadcast aver this fluted surface. Later on this soil will be thoroughly harrowed across, ploughed and relisted or furrowed to prepare it for planting. In the large market gardens (in the south) this Decem ber (and January) work is necessary to best results, and it should not be left un done except for good excuse. While cold frames are rarely found in the small home-garden of our southern latitude, no one who grows vegetables for market is likely to neglect this valuable adjunct in securing plants for early use. The earliest vegetables caw 'duly be ob tained through the use of well-constructed and well-managed frames (part glass cov ered and part cloth covered.) By the use of frames it is possible to have large, stocky plants ready to be transplanted to their several plats just as soon as all rough weather 1» past, and before it would not be at all safe to put the seed In the open ground. They are Indlspenslble toward securing early plants of cabbage, beets, tomatoes, egg-plants, pepper, cel ery and lettuce. When specially early vegetables are not desired, as is the case usually with the small gardefier in the country or In the town, the expense of cold-frames need not be undergone. Just as good vegetables can grown from sowings of seed In the open ground, but the garden will be later In getting under way. In the well conducted garden there should bo no need for any plantings In the open ground this month, except In lower latitudes, where It Is particularly appropriate to the planting of several crops. Our pwn practice in Middle Geor gia has been to make rhe first planting of English peas during the first ten days of this month and occasionally such plant ings have been killed. When It is not desired to take any risk, this planting had better be deferred until next month, and what is the case with peas la likewise the case with onions sets put out now or sowings of spinach. It is possible that both may he kijled or heaved out of the soli by severe freezes the last of this month or during the hot month, though we have time and again planted both suc cessfully during the first half of Decem ber. Very little may be lost and some i by waiting until the close. Junuury before making these plantings—that Is, anywhere above, the 31st or »2d parallel of latitude. Os .course at points op the seacoast, plantings at this season are more secure than they would be further In the Interior, where the elevation Is higher. Below the 82d degree the approximate latitude of Sa vannah, Ga., it is rarely the case that plantings of the hardy crops made this month are Injured to any considerable extent. Only now and then at rare inter vals does such weather occur as did in January, 1886, to kill hardy crops below the 81st parallel. It has happened only once in a dozen or more years. We are not a believer In taking unnec essary risks in gardening or anything else, but It is very important to be fully up to time in all our horticultural work. If there Is so much to be done It is wise to dispose of such work as can be done as promptly as possible. It Is a waste of time and seeds to have much replanting or resowing to do, and one had better be a week or two late than a few days too early. Labor In most sections Is not so plentiful as it once was, and It must be economical. In the large gardens or truck patches labor saving implements must be used to- the fullest extent possi ble. One advantage of early plantings Is it enables us to establish the crop before the grass and weeds become trouble some. A. B. C. All About Tobacco. From the St. Louis Globe-Democrat. The tobacco plant is from three to six feet high. Iron tobacco pipes are popular in Cen tral Asia. Virginia tobacco Is one of the strongest varieties. Salt is added to all wet snuffs to pre vent molding. Brazilian tobaccos often contain 10 per cent, of niclta. The first European tobacco was grown in Portugal tn 1620. A "hand” of tobacco is commonly about four ounces. The tobr plant Is a member of the nightshade mily. About 220,000,000 cigars are annually ex ported from Havana. Oculists say that one form of blindness is caused by smoking. The best kinds of snuff are made only from the high-grade leaves. The tobacco leaf Is said to require about twelve weeks to cure. It is said that tobacco seed will retain its vitality eight or ten years. The best grades of Cuban tobacco have less than 2 per cent, of nicotia. The genus nieotiana contains about fifty species, mostly American. The first chemical analysis of tobacco was made by Vauqqeline in 1809. Tt,3 yield of a tobacco farm is said to be from 600 to 1,000 pounds an acre. The value of the leaf tobacco exported by this country in 1890 was $20,640,000. Scotch snuff is said to obtain its pecu liar color from the addition of ochre. Tobacco growers often save a large quantity of seed from an especially good crop. The ash of tobacco is large, varying from 16 to 30 per cent, in the different kinds. The French government has had a monopoly of the tobacco business ever since 1816. The department of Lot, in France, pro duces a tobacco with nearly 8 per cent, of nicotia. The color of snuff depends on the ex tent to which the fermentation has been allowed to go. The seed capsules of the tobacco plant are provided with valves for the escape of the seeds. Turkish and some other eastern tobaccos are only used as tine-cut for cigarettes and pipes. The poorer and ’cheaper varieties of snuff are sometimes made from refuse stems and leaves. Th flowers of some species of the to- THE WEEKLY NEWS (TWO-TIMES-A-WEEK): THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 1894. bacco plant open only at sunset, and close at sunrise. The Storing of Onions. Onions are the most easily cared for of any of the smaller agricultural industries. Nor Is there a vegetable that would fill its place In the economy of the house. It conduces to health, stimulates the appe tite, and In many ways renders itself useful. Great care should be exercisd to prevent the onions from being bruised in the handling. In gathering them they should not be suffered to fall upon one another or the ground. Bruised onions are more difficult to keep through the winter. They should be thoroughly dried before storing away. Care, also, should be taken to retalri the outer covering of loose lay ers, as these act as a protection In the bln or the cellar. In drying it is a good plan to spread them out on the drying floor as thinly as possible. This drying Is an Important factor In the preservation of onions through ttje winter. Onions should never be stored In a damp place. Tn the cellar the floor of their bln should be sev eral Inches from the floor, even If the floor is dry. Bricks will draw dampness from an apparently dry dirt floor, and so well onions. Neither should they be stored above the potatoes or cabbages. It is not always possible in an ordinary cellar to have room to spread them out thinly In the blns, but do the best you can in this way. The cellar should be kept quite cool. Onions sprout freely if the cellar is at all warm and sprouty onions are poor eat ing. Hence cellars should be well venti lated, and the means of ventilation of such a character, of such a nature, as to be easily regulated. This can be done through a draught made In the doors that can be managed like a stove damper, and the ventilator through the roof, If the cellar be a cave, or by the chimney, If the cellar is under the house. This ven tilation Is essential in onion storage In winter. Onions cared for as herein Indi cated will keep royally all winter and come out in the spring and command the top of the market. E. B. H. The Use of Salt. Salt Is not a fertilizer strictly speaking, but acts as such by combining with other mineral elements in the soil, rendering them more readily available as food for the growing plant. This is most notice able in sandy soils, where there is an abundance of potash in an insoluble form (silicate or potash,) which changes to a soluble form under the action of the salt. Nitrate of soda also will show much bet ter results when mixed with twice its weight of common salt than when used in a pure form per cent, nitrogen,) per haps because it makes the proportion of available potash in the soil more evenly balance the amount of nitrogen furnished, or because of a chemical change in the form taken by the nitrogen in the soil. Very naturally salt shows better results upon lands remote from the seashore, as the latter receives salt in the spray or In the rainfall to an extent that would scarcely be believed by those who have not experienced it. Upon the south side of Massachusetts Bay, after a northeast storm, window glass upon the side of the building exposed to the storm has been found to have a perceptible coating of salt, ten of fifteen miles back from the coast, and doubtless this would be the fact in other localities exposed to the rain ■with heavy winds blowing directly in shore. Salt is supposed to promote the growth of leaf and stalk more than the development of grain or root crops, but assists the latter by making a healthy growth of the whole plant. It does not seem to. show as good results upon a stiff clay or clayey loam as upon a lighter soil. About 200 pounds to the acre is called a fair application for grass lands, and the grass seems to be more succulent and bet ter relished by the animals. Too much salt is injurious to vegetation, and salt will not usually show any beneficial ef fects on a second application, until after the lapse of some years, or after a heavy dressing of barnyard manure has been put upon the land. There are grades of salt that are not quite pure enough for salting meat, which can be bought at a low price, and as the impurities do not usually contain anything Injurious to the plant, they are cheaper to buy than the merchantable salt. Almost any of the agricultural stores or fertilizer dealers will furnish salt for manure, and it may pay you to try it, as it will not be very expensive. Good or Poor Cows. A cow whose milk will make a pound of butter a day, or 350 pounds in a year, is a very good cow, and -would yield a profit after paying for liberal feedlng.One which yields 300 pounds a year is a good cow and probably a profitable one, and one that yields 250 pounds a year may pay for her keeping and care, but one that does not yield over 200 pounds a year is a poor cow, and does not do any more than pay for her feed at the average prices for but ter and feed. Those that fall below that amount are very poor cows and unprofit able to the owner. Even if he can sell the milk for more than the feed costs, he had better replace her with a more pro ductive animal. The Babcock test will so quickly show the capabilities of a cow, when rightly used, that there is no ex cuse for keeping those that do not pay for the labor of caring for them as well as for their feed. The Yam Swe«t Potato. Some of the southern sweet growers claim that the sweet potatoes grown tn the north are not of the same variety, and are much inferior in quality to those grown in the south. We know there fa a great difference of quality of the sweet potato, varying with the kind of soil it grows on and the season. On cold, heavy soil and in a season when there IS much rain, the potatoes are heavy and watery. In the north, at least, the sweet potato does best on sandy soil, if It is made rich by thorough manuring. There is, however, a kind of sweet po- _ _ MSDICAL _ For Colds And Coughs “ Early in the Winter, I took a a severe cold which developed into an obstinate, hacking cough, which troubled me for nine weeks, in spite of medical aid. HYER'S Cherry Pectoral being recommended me, I began to take it, and inside of 24 hours I was relieved. That one bottle cured me, and I cannot speak too highly of its excellence.”—Mrs. E. E. Bosch, Eaton, Ohio. Highest Awards at World’s Fair. > COTTOLENE. I It’s Provoking g |&I to be deceived ; it’s annoying to have a poor article of shortening. You can avoid both by seeing that your pail of COTTOLENE bears the.trade || mark —steer’s head in cotton-plant wreath—and W be sure of having delicious, healthful food. Other manufacturers try to imitate COT- O TOLENE, that’s the best reason why want the original article, • only by : The Nr K. Fairbank Company, I. ST. LOVIS and CHICAGO. . @ - ' - ; ■' = ■; tato grqwn in the south known as the yam potato. It requires a longer season than is possible for ft in the northern states. Those who have eaten the, yam sweet potato say that it is much better than ordinary sweet potatoes found in northern markets. This is not the old yam potato introduced in the north forty years ago or more, when the Irish potato began to roti It was then thought it might prove a substitute for the common potato, but the yam proved a course, poorly-flavored and wholly unmanageable tuber. It grew so large, so far below the surface, and so full of prongs that when once in a field it was almost as hard to get rid of it as of a crop of horseradish that had been suffered to grow for two or three years without being removed. Horticultural Notes. Do not cultivate so deep as to disturb the roots. An effective remedy for black knot Is cutting off and burning. Keeping the soil shaded aids materially in the storing of nitrogen. Many make a mistake in failing to spread out the roots evenly. It is not too late to set out strawberry plants if good care is given. Remove the mulch and give the straw berries thorough cultivation. In growing berries for market the best results are secured with a rich soil. Transplanting two or three times helps in the formation of fibrous roots. Generally in transplanting it is best to set the plants down to the first leaf. Allowing them to grow tod thick Is one cause of failure in growing root crdps. Mulching newly set trees during hot, dry weather often saves them from dying. During the summer is a good time to prepare the soil for fall planting of the orchard. Many plants die because care is not taken to place the soil In eJose contact with the roots. It is rarely a good plan to allow a fruit tree agen to select the varieties of trees for the orchard. I■- 1 / ; Allowing moss or lichen tcf grow to the bark of the trees affords a, hiding or har boring place for vermin. • 4 The grape can be readily propagated by layering and. a good supply of. plants be seared’at'Alttw 'obfctr: Bettbr sow this places vacant v ln the garden to turnips or rutabagas rather than allow them to grow up in weeds. Old straw is one of the best materials that can be used for mulching. Bagasse is also good when it can be secured con* veniently. Keep down the raspberry canes; four or five good canes to every four feet of row will give a better quality of fruit than if thicker.—Live Stock Indicator. Foot Evil. A Mississippi experimental station re port says: “Foot evil” is the name popularly given in Mississippi to a disease of the coronet, or that region of the foot where the hoof and skin meet. It is an Inflammatory con dition which sometimes results In the sep aration of the hoof from the soft struc tures to such an extent that the hoof is lost. . Causes—lt lg qhiefly the result of filth, moisture, or both. At least, these are very favorable to itg development, and it is seldom or never seen under any other conditions. The irritation produced by manures, mud, or heavy dews, will result in developing foot evil. Symptoms—These are slight swelling, lameness of a more or less severe type, and a progressive separation of the outer part of the horn and soft structures; which usually begins at the heels arid ex tends forward until it encircles the whole foot. Treatment—Remove the cause; that is, keep the parts dry and clean. Apply a lit tle strong liquid carbolic acid to the af fected part by means of a feather, and then apply a solution of carbolic acid (one of acid to twenty-five of water) once a day. If a marked improvement is not no ticed in three or four days apply the pure acid again and then continue the solution as before. Hints on Mulching. The inexperienced gardener often falls to obtain the best result from mulching his plants, and sometimes does them more harm than good by a lack qt knowledge of what to use and how Vo übe ft. The character of the plant IS very nearly a reliable guide, as those which have their leaves at the time of covering, as spinach, lettuce, strawberry plants, and othert do not need to be covered very thickly or with anything which is likely to become matted down under a covering of snow, so as to exclude the air. As they breathe through those same leaves, which are the lungs of the plant, they are smothered if burled too deeply or with too close a cov ering. And the more abundant their foliage, the less the need of covering. In a locality where the ground is not likely to freeze and thaw very often there is less need of covering than upon a warm southern exposure. It is not the freezing that kills, but the fact that thaw: ng in the spring may start a new growth which will be so tender that it will be killed by another freezing. They also need to be protected from the direct rays of the hot sun when the thawing process begins. Humanity to Animals. Prof. David Swing in a letter once said: “As we advance in this humane work to ward animals, their world grows under our study, and the horse, the ox and the dog seem to come nearer to man and not to be the low brutes they once were. We who are a little better in language and power than the dumb animals must come between them and all needless pain.” Sunshine for Pigs. Contrary to popular superstition, sun shine is as necessary to the welfare of pigs as it is to any of the domestic ani mals, and it is important that not only their feeding quarters, but their sleeping quarters as well, should admit as much sunshine as possible. - ; ... ... - 1,1 Poultry for Profit. There is small profit in eggs when they bring but 10 cents a dozen; and no profit at all, rather a loss, when hens have to be fed all winter, without eggs, and then only produce a few dozen in the spring. When the eggs laid barely pay for the food eaten during that season, all the food eaten previously is a loss. There is a regular ebb and flow of prices for eggs. The high tide is about the last of November, and through January, and from that the price ebbs away steadily to about May 1. Everybody’s hens are laying then, and production is at its highest, con sequently prices are the lowest. Later on the supply gradually diminishes, and pri ces rise, the movement being facilitated by sales of fowls to be served as “spring chicken” in the summer hotels, and the steady falling off of the egg yield. In the fall the old fowls are moulting, and are, almost without exception, resting from their labors, so that unless there are pullets to lay there are few eggs, hence the demand exceeds the supply, and the price reaches bigh tide again. A hen will consume a fraction over 50 cents worth of food in a year. If she does not begin to lay until March she will produce less than 100 eggs, which must net her owner over 1 cent apiece to barely pay for her food and trouble. If she comes to laying maturity in October or November she will lay vigorously all win ter, if well housed and well cared for, and will give her owner, before moulting time, 150 to 175 eggs, which can be sold at an average of nearly 2 cents apiece, and pay a substantial profit. There is a “tide in poultry raising, and that tide is early-hatched chickens and early-laying pullets. There is the whole secret of it in a few words; all the rest of the story is detail. We hear much complaint that “We couldn’t hatch the chickens early; our hens woudn’t sit.’,’ That is one of the evils of late-laying birds. If they are got to lay in October, and kdfct laying they will be broody enough in April, unless they are of the non-sitting varieties; whereas, if they don’t begin to lay until March they will be late in brooding, because nature impels them to lay a goodly number of eggs before the. brooding fever sets in, Get them laying'early and early broodi ness follows as a matter of course. ‘ Much can.be dope to further this plan by “selection.” Choose paly the early-lay ing and prolific laying birds to breed from, putting them in a pen by themselves; and in two or three generations you will have a strain of naturally early-layers. You have not to wait long for profits from our selection of early-laying pullets. Breed from them, and no others next spring, then kill off the old birds. It is a decided advantage in poultry raising that the profits begin to come in immediately. Vicious Treatment of Horses. In a certain sense the horse is not only the most noble, but also the most useful of all our animal friends. But, like many of our own race, it is oftentimes found brutalized by e s vicious training and an education of the lowest order by a more intelligent brute than itself, and driven with clubs and kicks into a state of piti able nervousness and even madness. Like the human species, it is sometimes gifted with an unusually sensitive nature, and when unduly excited with fear, is driven into a state of temporary insanity. Such horses, usually gentle and tractable* are impulsive and demonstrative, and need not be driven by the exercise of brute force. They are quick in apprehending the wishes and calls of the driver, but require the ut most care in making plain the driver’s meaning. An ignorant person, In case of emergency, is often liable to confuse his animal friend with inexplicable blows and jerkings of the bridle, until the horse be comes restive and intractable, then bolts and becomes a veritable wild beast. The fault mainly lies with the driver, and not with the poor animal, which must' feel and imagine it has got under the control of a maniac. The first duty of a man who owns a spirited, highly nervous horse, is to be humane in his own temper and disposi tion, and never, under atty Circumstances, to confuse his'animal servant with con tradictory and unusual commands.—Ex change. TIFTONTOPICS?” The Tramp Who Was Bup Over by a Train. . . Tifton, Ga., Nov. 25.—The tramp who was run over by the Georgia Southern and Florida train at his place last week while trying to steal a Hd4, died yesterday from his injuries. He gave his name as Frank Hays,-and said- he was from the Indian Territory.. >■; The. people along the line-of the Bruns wick and Western railroad are delighted with its change of schedule, which goes into effect to-day, giving, them a through day train each way. A new bank, with a capital of $50,000 paid up stock, has been chartered, and will commence operation Here about Jan. 1. Municipal politics is becoming warm. Several candidates have- already an nounced themselves. The issue seems to be whether or not the city shall allow stock to run at large on the streets. TO MAKE NO FIGHT. Majors Not to Contest the Election of Holcomb in Nebraska. Lincoln, Neb., Nov. 25.—The proceedings begun by the republican state committee on behalf of Lieut. Gov. Majors against Judge Holcomb, governor-elect, were dropped to-day, and there will be no con test. To-morrow was the limit time for filing the notice, and this evening, after a conference lasting until nearly mid night, it was decided to abandon all pro ceedings in that direction. A letter from Mr. Majors himself was presented to the republican managers, in which he depre cated what he terms an “unseemly scram ble for an office, the right of which is in doubt.” Acting on this, the committee declares the proceedings closed, and the contest dropped. Shot His Mistress. - St. Augustine, Fla., Nov. 25.—Deputy Sheriff Turner returned from Negoa to day, bringing the negro, Robert Lee. who yesterday shot and fataljy injured a col ored woman who was living with him. A SHOWER OF CHESTNUTS. Samples of “Gags" That Are Always Langhed At. The “New” Jokes That Came in With the Season—The Prime Bequisite of Stage Humor Segms to be an Entire Absence of Wit—The Variety Come* dian’s Idea of Bepartee is to Use an Ax. From the Chicago Times. The “gags” perpetrated at the variety shows succeed best with the audience when they are absolutely devoid of Wit. A good joke requires a listener 'with some intelligence to appreciate It, but, the variety men need jokes that will suit the humor palate of people with no intel ligence at all. Humor has been dehned as the unexpected, and so, when the stage German asks the stage Irishman “Where will you go yesterday?” there is enough unexpectedness for the remark to seem humorous to the fellows up in the top gallery. They simply burst with laughter at such merry sallies. An actor went to a manager with a large supply of what he said was the latest wit. The wretched theatrical man listened to about twenty samples, and then said: “Yours is certainly the very latest supply. It’s about twenty years late.” There are one or two “gags” that seem new, though it Is not always safe to bet upon the pedigree of a “gag.” The gentlemen who have introduced porcelain shirt fronts into modern melody may have slyly dug up some ancient saying from long-forgotten graves, tomb rob bing being a fayorite weakness of humor ists, but they guarantee that their re marks are strictly novel. Perhaps, though, this Is only another symptom of their fun. “We lost father from the house for a week,” says one of the minstrels. “Mother had every one she could think of out looking for him, but it was no use. We missed him dreadfully, especially on pay day. My brother and I were walk ing along the Chicago river yesterday and on the bank we found father. He had just been washed ashore. "I knew him at once;-the same features, the same whiskers, and the same clothes. I was just going to fetch a wagon to take him home when I noticed his mouth was wide open and he didn't have any teeth. Father has a splendid set of teeth. It wasn’t father. “Now,” he concluded, tearfully, “if that man had kept his mouth shut what a fine funeral he’d have had!” (Laughter.) “Had a great meeting and banquet down town the other night,” says anoth er. “My brother was there, large as life. You ought to see my brother. He’s a fine fellow—carries everything before him.” "Chairman of the dinner, I suppose?” Inquires the middle man, amiably. “Oh, no! He was the waiter.” (Laugh ter.) • , ’ . ’ Waiters carry everything before them. See? Then they give a burlesque of the Lex ow committee meetings. A loud, rasping noise is heard in the distance. Mr. Goff jumps to his feet in alarm, clutching at his green moustache. He seems to think that the police are leading a mob against the Inquisition. “What’s that?” he demands. _ ■ "Oh, they’re filing an affidavit,’ is the response. Then someone says it's an “after David 8.,” and there is a loud snicker at Sena tor Hill’s expense. When they adjourn for lunqheon ft is decided that the- Lexow committee shall eat their meal right where they are. A court attendant goes out to get it for them, and returns with a bale of hay. This, for some reason, provokes large quantities of mirth. “I’ve got a dude dog,” declares Mr. Sweatnam. “Ha Ha! What’s a dude dog?” “One that’s got his tongue split.” “What’s that for?” “To put: creases in his pants.” A troupe of magicians come in with an easel, a picture frame with a blank can vas, and all sorts of apparatus. The ma gician in chief announces that he will deposits photographs of politicians In a tin box and will make any picture called for appear on the blank canvas. He so places the photographs, which gives him a chance to say something bright about Hill and Cleveland being "in the same box.” After the photographs are all deposited he calls for the audience to make their selections. “Who do you want to see?” “I, want to see Hill,” says someone in the audience. “Want to see Hill, eh?” “Yes.” “Go see him, then, why don’t; you?” Then the troupe of magicians seize their easel and apparatus and march off, “guy ing” the spectator who called for Hill on their way out, and making him feel sorry he spoke. In the variety show which Includes Pug ilist “Bob” Fitzsimmons a couple of tra ditional stage tramps have a quarrel and square off to each other. • Then one of them, who evidently is afraid, backs off and says he doesn’t care to fight just then. "I’ll send me friend to fight,you,” he adds, bluisteringly. > "Who l«i your friend, anyway?” “O’Donnell.” s 1■ This reference to Mr. Corbett’s former refusal to fight Fitzsimmons until that gentleman had met and defeated bls trainer, O’Donnell, la a distinct “go” with the gallery gods, who howl but “Cor bett! Corbett!” Hallen s>nd Hart, in “Later On," have some very good “gags,” They are made by themselves, often on the spur of the moment, and when they prove a success they are retained in the play. “We wear out a lot of ’gags,’ ” said these gentlemen to me, when I saw them in their dressjqg room the other night after the perfdr mance. “Sometimes we make up things, 3; 188 9; J- C«AWTORik of Limestone, writes: “ For years 1 suffered monthly from periodic pains which at times were so acute as to render H burden. 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BBBSBdSSSBSHS and find .that they’ve been traveling around for a long time. An actor treats a good ‘gag’ sometimes as a dog does a bone. He can’t bear to part with I|, and, even after he has buried it he’ll dig it up again and play with it.” “I’ve got three children,” says someone in “Later On” gravely. “What sex?” < ► > “Two boys ,” he begins. “And a girl,” adds the eoubrette, finish ing the sentence. “You need encouragement,” the son brette says to him. “Thank you—with a little seltzer on the side,” is the reply, and the crowd once more roars itself hoarse with hilarious ap« proval. “Now, here’s the question of clothes,’* observes the comedian. “If Hoboken has a Jersey what’ll Delaware?” ’ This is built on. the same lines as a very familiar joke, but it wants a lot of scenery and properties to produce it with the proper dramatic effect. A young, woman is leaning against the rail of a ferry boat crossing the North river. It is necessary to the success of the “gag? that her face should be turned toward, Manhattan Island. • “That’s the poorest woman in the world,” remarks the funny man, pity ingly. “How so?” ‘ "She has only one Jersey to her back.’* (Shouts of merriment.) 4 The “gag” that plays upon the local pride of the audience is generally a suc cess. A New Yorker and a Brooklynite are hotly debating as to the merits of their cities. When the piece is played in New York the Brooklynite is made up as a countryman, with hay sticking out of his boots, and when it is played in Brooklyn the New Yorker is made up as a slow creature. “There’s one thing we’ve got in Brook lyn that you haven’t got in New York,’* the Brooklynite says tauntingly. “What’s that?” demands the New Yorker, anxious for an argument “The other end of the bridge.” Here’s another. ; "I’m living in one of the smallest! flats in Chicago. It’s so small that I have to go out into the hall to change my mifid.” When a traveling company visits* (Phil adelphia there are a lot of “gags” that go well in other towns that they are afraid wouldn’t succeed very well there, and leave them behind. For instanece, here is one that they ask in New York that never by any chance crosses the border line of Pennsylvania: "Where was it Rip Van Winkle had his famous sleep?” “Right in Philadelphia, of course.” And: "Go upeatirs with that man,” says the hotel clerk, “ and see that he doesn’t blow out the gas. He’s from Philadelphia.” Then the brilliant vartety actor struts over to the window and looks out of it “Yes,” he murmurs, “this is a very large afternoon." After a pause he adds contemplatively: “Just about as large as It was yesterday afternoon.” If you want to be funnier even than that just confine a secret to a negTo as black as the ace of spades and tell him impressively to "keep dark.” Or ask of a stage dude: “Is it true that you were refused at th® morgue?” That one isn’t very new, but it is still in constant wear. A stupid stage Hibernian, one of thos*i men with the wooden heads, in which an* other comedian drives a hatchet, letting it stick there—the whole hatchet transac tion coming under the head of “repartee’* —comes running on the stage with a doofl mat- “I brought this In," says he, “b*- cause I noticed outside that people wet# wiping their feet on it.” HONOR FOB BERNHARDT. She Will Receive the Bed Bibbon of thfj Legion of Hone r. From the Philadelphia Press. < { ! New York, Nov. 21.-Sarah Bernhardt-* the divine and only Sarah—is to bo awarded the red ribbon of the Legion of Honor. The news has not yet been officially pub lished In France, but it will be very soon- The decoration is not the order of ths Legion of Honor known by that name in this country, but the original, French le gion, which has hitherto been almost in accessible to actors and actresses. The divine Sarah will ba the first act ress to receive the coveted distinction as an actress. She will be almost, but not quite, 'the only woman who will have tained the red ribbon. Marie Laurent, thqM great melodramatic actress, who did much to swell the fame of d’Ennery, by ■ her admirable acting, was accorded thoj|| same honor years ago. But she was dec-W orated not because she had achieved ce- IM lebrity upon the boards, but because she happened to be the president of a chart table society. Madam Dieulafay, the ec- 1 centric Asiatic explorer (an advocate o£ ’ bloomers), is also a member of the legion. And the ribbon has in a few Instances been granted to a woman who has mad* their mark as painters, sculptors or writ ers. A special interest attaches to Mme. Bernhardt for the honor. In decorating Gqt and Coquelln and Worms, of the Theater Francaise, official France to some extent renounced the old and stupid no tion that actors were pariahs. By giving the actress the acknowledgement to which her genius had long since entitled her the government of France will have pro claimed its liberality still more emphatic ally. It will have shown that it admits the right of actresses to rank not only with their fellows of the sterner sex, but with artists generally. According to a friend of Mme. Bern hardt in this city, it is to the “exceptional services which she has rendered” to French art abroad by familiarizing for eigners with the masterpieces of the , i( : s French that the great actress will owe her unique privilege. To those who can remember what an outcry was caiiaetl by th announcement of her sudden flight from the Theater Francaise and her Sub sequent visits to America the/e will be a peculiar significance in the somewhat tardy but generous acknowledgement of her genius. 3