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6B FRIDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2006 Difficult adopted daughter needs attentive parenting Question: We have an adopted girl who came to us when she was 4-years old. She is very difficult to handle and does pretty much what she pleases. For us to make her obey would be very unpleas ant for her, and frankly, we don’t feel we have the right to do that. She has been through a lot in her short life. Besides, we’re not her real parents. Do you think she’ll be OK if we’ll just give her a lot of love and attention? DOBSON: I’m afraid you have a formula for serious problems with this girl later on. The danger is in seeing yourselves as substitute or “stand-in” parents who don’t have the right to lead her. That is a mistake. Since you have legally adopted this child, you are her “real” par ents, and your failure to see it that way may be setting up the defiant behavior you mentioned. This is a common error made by parents of older adopted children. They pity their youngsters too much to confront them. They feel that life has already been too hard on them, and they must not make things worse by disci pline and occasional punish ment. As a result, they are ten tat ive and permissive with a child who is crying out for leadership. Transplanted children have the same needs for guidance and discipline as those remaining with their biological parents. One of the surest ways to make them feel insecure is to treat them as though they are different, unusual or brittle. If the parents view such a child as an unfortu nate waif to be shielded, he will tend to see himself that way too. Parents of sick and handi capped children often make this same mistake. They find discipline hard er to implement because of BRIEFS From page jB Sunday. All are invited to this service of music and fel lowship. Call 987-0237 for more information. New motto “Speaking Where The Bible Speaks” is the new motto for the Bonaire Church of Christ. Sunday services include Bible study at 10 a.m., and worship services at 11 a.m. and 6 p.m Wednesday Bible Study begins at 7 p.m. Bonaire Church of Christ is located at 459 Highway 247 in Bonaire. Phillip Stuckey is the evangelist. All visitors are welcome. Divorce recovery workshop A divorce recovery work shop is being held at First Christian Church, U.S. 41 and Perry Parkway. Meetings will be held every Thursday for 10 weeks, starting at 7 p.m. The workshop and childcare are free. Call 956- 4800 to sign up. Pumpkin patch time The 11th Annual Pumpkin Patch of Christ United Methodist Church is now open. CUMC is celebrating 11 years of this popular com munity outreach. The patch is an attraction for kids of all ages, offering face paint ing, a beanbag toss, a tic tac-toe board, and a maze. Story time with preschool ers and elementary age chil dren is also very popular. Last year more than 900 children visited the patch as part of pre-school or ele mentary groups, as well as hundreds of families who visit during the month. The Pumpkin Patch can be found at Christ United Methodist the tenderness they feel for that child. Thus, a boy or girl with a heart condition or some serious illness can become a little terror, simply because the usual behavioral bound aries are not established and defended It must be remembered that the ■need to be led and governed is almost universal in child hood, and it isn’t lessened Dr. James by other Dobson problems Focus on the Family and dif ficulties in life. In some cases, the desire for boundaries is actually increased by other troubles, for it is through loving control that parents build security and a sense of personal worth in a child. Returning to the question, I advise you to love that lit tle girl like crazy - and hold her to the same standards of behavior that you would your own flesh and blood. Remember, you are her parents! Question: I have a friend whose children drive me crazy when I’m around them. They are the most undisciplined brats I’ve ever seen. We can’t even talk when they are around. I would love to help my friend with a few disciplinary tips. How can I do this with out offending her? DOBSON: When you want to point out a flaw or short coming in someone else’s behavior or character, you do it the way porcupines make love: very, very carefully. Otherwise, you’re likely to lose a friend. Pointing out parenting mistakes in others is even riskier. You’re liable to get your ears pinned back for trying it - even when your motives are honorable and you have a child’s interest at heart. That’s why I never offer Church Pumpkin Patch, on 511 Russell Parkway on the front lawn of the church until Tuesday. The patch is open from 9 a.m. until dark, Monday through Saturday, and on Sundays from 1-6 p.m. Call the church office at 922-0211 to make a reservation for preschool, elementary school or daycare groups. Celebrate recovery at Unity Baptist Need help for a hurt, hang-up or habit? Celebrate Recovery meetings are at Unity Baptist Church of Bonaire every Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. Children’s program is available. Unity Baptist is located at 79 Highway 96, between Houston Lake Road and Moody Road. For infor mation call 922-0063. First Baptist Kathleen festival First Baptist Church Kathleen, 101 Bear Branch Rd., will hold a Fall Festival Saturday from 6 p.m. - 9 p.m. There will be hotdogs, chili, marshmallow roast and hayrides. Also, there will be booths for all ages and plen ty of candy. Bring your chil dren and have a Christian alternative to Halloween. All Saints Episcopal Church holding sale All Saints Episcopal Church located at 1708 Watson Blvd., Warner Robins is holding its annual frozen casserole sale now through Monday. Orders can be placed by calling the church at 478-923-1791 and they can picked up Nov. 11 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the church. Crafts and baked goods will also be available at the time of pickup. unsolicited advice about other people’s children, no matter how badly I think it is needed. If you insist on telling the other mother what she doesn’t want to hear, let me suggest that you first invest some time and effort in your friend. When a relationship of confidence has been careful ly constructed, you’ll have then earned the right to offer her some gentle advice. There are no shortcuts to this process. Dr. Dobson is founder and chairman of the board of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, P.O. Box 444, Colorado Springs, CO. 80903; or www.family. org. Questions and answers are excerpted from “The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide” and “Bringing Up Boys, ” both published by Tyndale House. Peebles L Cnll Qaifinne r dii odviiiyo |Hr I n W n W na i ■ i ? m * \ |. J |, Z ; ... Wf Now thru Monday Only! Save up to 50% Storewide 40 % Off All Men's Sport Shirts By Van Heusen and Sun River'. Knit polos and plaid and denim woven shirts. 40 % Off Outerwear for Him By Free Country’. Pacific Trail’, Architect’, Graphite' and more, feather and heavy-weight styles. 30 % Off Children’s Sweaters, Outerwear & Denim By Graphite’, Specialty Baby’, Specialty Girf, Squeeze. Paris Blues’, g Chill’, Mudd, Energie’, Levi’s’, more. BONUS SAVINGS COUPON VAUB THRU OCIOBEB 30, 2006 Extra 25 0/o Off & I Valjtj 0 „ Regular Price or Sale *■ "E i CZ3 Peebles k mm mu mi —l'Wiiw m .■£&isgiigiaMKMgcggMMMßlßl IVcbjes 10% OFF ALL DAY + Bonus VIP Point# when you open a new credit card account.* •Subject to craft approval Eidumons apply. RELIGION What is trick or treat? “The Lord gazes down upon mankind from heaven where love s . He has fmmW ma d e |;-U their Bk hear t s 1 a n 11 closely ' watches every- tarlme Cole thing they do. ” - Psalms 33: 13 - 15, Living Bible. Halloween is looked upon as an immoral cel ebration by many. Evil practices have invaded times of enjoy ment within neighbor hoods. However, our youngsters and teens are fortunate to have supervised events made available through churches and local orga nizations where they can safely have Halloween fun. The danger of receiv ing treats, which could Interim mwfcduwns may have bean ttkan. Entire stocks only where indicated Setetuun m*y vwy by store. 30 % Off Juniors Tops, Activewear & Related Separates By Derek Heart . Energie", It's Our Time* Moa Moa, A. 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Perry, GA 31069 Call for details 478-218-5922 jik HOUSTON DAILY JOURNAL Regardless of personal feelings toward the tradi tion, we are fortunate to have trusting relationships with others, especially the younger generation. Tuesday when beckoned to the door and greeted with voices chiming, “Trick or Treat! . . . Trick or Treat!” we are being honored in a special way. Our role is to respond with love. 30 0/o Off Sag Harbor & RQT' For misses, petites and plus-sizes Jackets, tops, pants and skirts. Great casual and career looks! 30 0/o Off Fall & Winter Sweaters for Her For misses, petites and plus-sizes. By Tiara . Crystal , Hannah. Reference Point and Contact . 25 % Off Ladies & Juniors Boots By Mudd . Aerosoles, Signature Studio’ and more. Several styles to choose from. GIFT CARDS! Oder at www p«<K>tes com Jn ail stores, or ofder toB-hee 1 -800743*8730