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4A ♦ WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2006 Hnustun ©atly .IJmmutl OPINION Daniel F. Evans Editor and Publisher Julie B. Evans Vice President Don Moncrief Managing Editor Halloween made safer Halloween wasn’t nearly as scary as it used to be. Oh, there were still a bunch of little goblins and witches and so forth run ning around out there Tuesday having a frighteningly good time. And it sure scared us Christians. Its ori gins are thought to be derived from devil worship, blood sacrifices, that sort of thing. So, even though there are tons of websites that dispute that as urban legend (try this search: “origins of Halloween” and you’ll be surprised at what you’ll read - and some text from some really credible sources; such as the History Channel) we were still plen ty scared (OK, make that “concerned”). Anyway, that isn’t the point. The point is Halloween regardless of what you believe - within the past handful of years - had grown to be a very, very scary time. For starters, there was/is the fear of abduc tion while trick or treating door to door. There was/is the major concern of tainted candy. And even this: Several news sources are reporting that that Halloween ranks up there with New Year's in terms of drinking and driving. Knowing our children would be out walk ing the same streets with drunk drivers: Now that’s scary! The good news is Halloween wasn’t as scary as it used to be. And it’s been getting less and less scary each year for approximately the past five or so. That’s because in general across the nation and specifically here locally we’ve got churches such as Westside Baptist, Southside Baptist, Shirley Hills Baptist and Sacred Heart and schools like Westfield, mall’s like the Galleria and city’s like Byron - and the list goes on. They have derived a little thing called the Fall Festival - and other formats such as Byron’s Nightmare on Main Street 2006 - which in turn has given our children a much, much safer environment to celebrate the holiday. In fact it/they have become such a hit, they are now so much a part of the observance, that maybe it’s time we did away with the term “Halloween” all together and come up with a name more suitable to a day (thank goodness) not nearly as scary as it used to be. Letter to the Edttop Bush has a clear plan President Bush has a clear plan for victory in Iraq that begins with training Iraqi forces so they can defend their country and fight the terrorists. We are making tremen dous progress towards this objective. Earlier this year, Iraqi forces led the fight in clear ing out terrorists during the crucial battle of Tal Afar, with U.S. troops in a supporting role, and every day, Iraqis are taking more control of the situation on the ground. Withdrawing from Iraq, as some Democrats in Washington propose, would send a dangerous signal to our enemies that we cut and run when the going gets tough. Bush is offering a clear strategy to win, not a political quick fix ... Fix Social Security now once and for all: Social Security is sound for today’s seniors and for those nearing retire ment, but it needs to be fixed for younger workers - our children and grandchildren. The government has made promises it cannot afford to pay for with the current pay-as-you-go system. If we do not act to fix Social Security now, the only solutions will be'dramatically higher taxes, massive new borrowing or sudden and severe cuts in Social Security benefits or other government programs ... Protect the Homeland: Bush is committed to keeping the nation strong and secure through strengthening our military, deploying a missile defense, strengthening the -NATO alliance and supporting military families and vet - erans. The President is committed to promoting an inde pendent and democratic Iraq to ensure further stability in the Middle East and the world on the whole ... Build a better tomorrow for our children and grand See LETTER, page $A Foy S. Evans Editor Emeritus The point is Halloween regardless ol what you believed - within the past handlul of years - had grown to be a very, very scary time. Marriages, bodies have a lot in common You might need to think different ly about your marriage, rather than thinking of it as a compo nent of a conversational bio. “Well, I’m 47, I live in Suwanee, I’m married and I have five children.” We often think of marriage as just something I’m a part of or something that I’m in. I think we often take for granted the nature of our marital unions; that they are very similar to living organisms; that they need to be cared for like we would care for a child. Marriages exhibit many similarities to living beings: they grow and atrophy, they become sick and get well again, they sustain injury and neglect and they can be nurtured and protected in a way that brings out their best - and that brings great joy. My colleague John Jauregui often says that when we get married there are now three “beings” that need attention and care - wife, husband and the marriage. Carrying this metaphor further, what can we say, then, are some important ways to care for this living, breathing organism we call our marriage? Feed it. Our marriage needs the basics of life support, including com munication, listening, understand ing and compassion. Just as food and water provide the most basic elements of survival for our bodies, these essen tials can help keep a marriage growing and prevent it from atrophying. Each day we need to make deliberate choices to stay healthy, whether in dietary choices for our bodies or recognizing what our spouse needs and proactively attempting to meet those needs. Give it supplements. Athletes, doc tors and the health-conscious tout the benefit of multi-vitamins and a host of other supplements intended to boost the immune system and enhance over all physical fitness. In your marriage, this might be a book that you read with your spouse, even once a year. Early in my marriage, my wife and I used to make a point of reading at least one S' j ‘ 2 ’° oto "...Must be d short somewhere..." O'Neil has earned a place in Hall of Fame I rarely take my son on an inter view. Unless it might be life-changing. So he wasn’t there when I shook hands and chatted with the president of the United States. He was home when, after filing my column, I strolled across Notre Dame’s famous campus in the beauty of the Indiana gloaming. He has been at school when I’ve asked questions of Tom Osborne, Chuck Hagel, Ben Nelson and Bob Kerrey. I can’t remember where he was when I talked with Warren Buffett. I did make one exception, however, in 2001 when Max was 8, a third-grader in good standing at Gates Elementary School where I picked him up and took him with me to Hastings. I wanted him tg see Buck O’Neil. It was a productive choice because while presidents, billionaires and assorted big hitters from Nebraska cut wide swaths and hover near the top of the household name charts, chances are good my son will never forget O’Neil. At least I hope not. Fifteen years after Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in Major League Baseball, O’Neil, a veteran of the Negro Leagues, became the sport’s first black coach. He died a week ago at the age of 94. O’Neil’s baseball prowess was clear: two batting crowns; five pennants and two Black World Series championships as manager of the Monarchs; the guid ing of such stars as Satchel Paige. Buck O’Neil’s problem wasn’t ability or attitude, it was timing ... and skin color,, or, more to the point, baseball and society’s problem with his skin color. He was in Hastings as part of a Hastings College symposium. We gath- OPINION marriage book a year. It wasn’t that we felt our marriage was sick or in danger, we just wanted to be as strong and healthy as a couple as we could be. Reading out loud together works well for some, others prefer reading a chapter separately then discussing it on a date night. Get a check up. As we age, our doc tors tend to want to see us every year for a physical. He or she knows that some illnesses don’t manifest themselves until they are well advanced. That’s why it’s best to catch them early. In our marriages, this may equate to an evaluation that you get through a marriage seminar; one that’s thorough enough to point out any potential weaknesses or prob lem areas. Just attending a marriage enhancing weekend retreat can give couples the dedicated time they need to evaluate the health of their marriage. Use a crutch when necessary. Now I know that “crutch” is often a negative term. That’s not how I mean it here. When one sprains an ankle, crutches may be annoying, but they also are necessary. They provide the support needed for the body to heal properly. The con nection to foarriage is that you and your spouse may need outside help (a crutch) for the marriage to heal prop erly. Just like the crutch ultimately keeps you from injuring yourself further and causing permanent damage, so can a counselor keep you from ignoring a “marriage injury” that ultimately could become crippling to the mar riage. When marriages suffer, it’s usually ered for a news conference in Studio B at the Gray Center. He bounded into the room, exuding joy. He immediately locked his playful eyes on Max sitting next to me in the front row. A moment later my son’s small hand was lost in O’Neil’s huge right one. Before the day was over, the two had played catch (“And he knew Jackie Robinson, Dad!”), talked a little base ball and made Buck O’Neil, then 89, a part of my son’s life. O’Neil told us about baseball, race and history with his trademark grace, humor and passion. Max listened when O’Neil said his grandfather was a slave. We all listened. He told us that he became the first black coach 75 years after baseball began. “I knew guys that were quali fied 75 years ago.” But he was careful to remind us that day of the futility of hate. “It makes you bitter. It makes you ugly. It makes you die young.” Aside from ardent baseball fans, O’Neil was hardly known until his running narrative provided the perfect backdrop to Ken Burns’ documentary, “Baseball,” which originally aired on PBS in 1994. O'Neil was an ambassador for the game, too, serving as chairman of the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in Kansas City. He was instrumental in Ramdy Hicks Columnist Georgia Family Council George Ayoub Columnist Morris News Service HOUSTON DAILY JOURNAL from neglect, not from conflict, crisis or ill will. We do our “things” with in the margins of marriage, though not always done side-by-side with our spouse: we work, raise our kids, do yard work, go shopping, pay bills, go to church, take vacations, attend kids' sporting events, sit in car pool lines, watch TV Our home lives become cen tered on our common activities but we lose our focus on keeping the marriage healthy. The very thing that brought us together - our desire for close ness and emotional intimacy with our spouse - is often neglected. Even when we do long-range plan ning for our families - a very good practice usually - we can get caught up in accumulation and financial secu rity, at the risk of ignoring our mari tal health. We may organize our lives around achieving certain objectives: a new car, bigger house, retirement account or other legitimate financial goals. But sometimes we don’t include our marriage goals in our short- or long-range planning. As a result, this living organism we created, our marriage, weakens. So talk with your spouse about where you want to be in your relationship in five, 10 or 20 years. Will you settle for peaceful co-existence, or do you desire a deep, meaningful relationship? If it’s the latter, it will require the same kind of attention and commitment required to keep your body healthy. Take care of your marriage, feed it, give it supple ments, get a check up, and, if neces sary, use a crutch to help the relation ship heal. Let’s face it. If we don’t take care of our bodies, they will get sick or break down eventually. And so will our mar riages if we fail nurture them in the way they deserve. Georgia Family Council is a non-prof it organization that works to strength en and defend the family in Georgia by impacting communities, shaping laws and influencing culture. For more information, go to www.georgiafamily. org, (770) 242-0001 or greggic farn.org the museum being there. He was more than baseball, though. He wrote checks and helped raise money for the Coda Jazz Benefit fund to help defray funeral and burial costs for needy jazz musicians from O’Neil’s beloved Kansas City. It was the game, however, that most inspired O’Neil: “It is better than music, although I do believe jazz comes in a close second. It does fill you up. ” His love for the game worked both ways. Baseball allowed us to know him, to appreciate where he had been, to realize all that he had seen and heard, to listen to him cheer for everything that was good about life. That was his message on the one day I luckily chose to bring my son to work. Thirty-five names grace the “Negro Leaguers” lineup at the Baseball Hall of Fame, which confers the ultimate status for a player, manager or anyone whose contributions to the game deem a place in the sport’s highest echelon. O’Neil, batting champion, manager of champions and champion of the game, was not selected last February when 17 names were added to the list. If he was bitter or angry, no one saw it. Instead, he was in Cooperstown on induction day, delivering an inspired speech on his life in the Negro Leagues. O’Neil belongs in the Hall of Fame. Not because he befriended my son. Not because he was one of the sport’s true gentlemen. Not because he was an ambassador for baseball. Not because he died. Put him in because he earned it. He deserves it. Put him in because baseball still needs Buck O’Neil. George Ayoub is senior writer at The Independent. His e-mail is george. ayoub@morris.com.