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4A ♦ THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2006 Houston Halit} .^Journal OPINION Daniel F. Evans Editor and Publisher Julie B. Evans Vice President Don Moncrief Managing Editor Dead air destroyer There used to be a time when the threat of taking your business elsewhere prompted a pretty quick response in regard to corrective action!s) from the ser vice provider. But maybe we as a nation have used it to the point businesses have become enamored to the idea. Or, maybe they’re just using it as an excuse for bad customer service. “Well, you’re going to take your business ielsewhere, anyway ...” ; Either way, there appears to be at least :some “dead air” out there. ! For example, Tuesday, one of our report ers was having a problem with his Internet Service Provider. • He . had :rece n t 1 y signed up for a glorified on line caller- I D/answer ing machine. Immediately following, he began encoun tering major problems. So, he could pret ty much pin point where the trouble was located. With that in mind, he called the ISP Well, that is after first spending 15 minutes chasing down a number. (Did you ever notice you can’t get a number for help without getting on line and you can’t get on line because that’s what you need help with to start with? Also, did you also note ISP’s don’t list a direct line to their help desk. If you want to add new services, well, you can find all the help in the world.) Anyway, long story - and five, count ‘em, five transfers later - he was told: “We don’t support that.” Dead air. Fast-forward to later. That same reporter was going through the drive-through at a fast-food place. He ordered chili. You can probably figure out who this is because one: “We stay open late,” and two: “We have great chili.” (Which, granted, they do.) Step 1, the microphone: He orders. Step 2, window one: He pays. Step 3, window two: He receives his food. Then, and only then, is he told: “(Oh by the way) we don’t have any crackers.” Now, a lack of crackers might seem insignificant to most, but how many of you eat “great” chili without crack : ers? And where was this statement at the microphone? Where was this revelation at window one? Needless to say the reporter’s response was: Dead air. The dead air is a courtesy. The dead air supposed to be the opportunity for busi nesses to make amends. Yes, it is the pre lude to: “I guess I’ll just have to take my business elsewhere,” but it doesn’t have to come to that. In fact, it’s arguable most people don’t want it to come to that. We’re all customers at one point or another. We’re not asking for the world. We’re just asking for a little something to fill the sound of silence. Letter to the Edctor Embarrassing cabs Recently I needed the services of a local taxi for a ride to the Grooms’ office on Watson Blvd to catch a : shuttle bus to Atlanta. The taxi driver arrived on time in a beaten -up cab that looked and sounded like it should have been in a Third World country like Ethiopia. The taxi driver was obviously embarrassed by the sad See LETTER, page 6A Foy S. Evans Editor Emeritus Step 1, the microphone: He orders. Step 2, window one: He pays. Step 3, window two: He receives his food. Then, and only then, is he told: "(Oh by the way) we don't have any crackers." Now, a lack of crackers might seem insignificant to most, but how many of you eat "great" chili without crackers? And where was this statement at the microphone? Where was this revelation at window one? Sonny proves to be good preacher Did you see Sonny Perdue preach ing from the pulpit of Rev. Jerry Faiwell’s church? It was on television last Saturday night. Sonny gave one of the best sermons 1 ever heard. He’s one good preacher. ■ ■■ Ecologists are warning that if the current trend of over fishing and pollu tion continues there will be no seafood for us to eat by the year 2048. Will - or can -something be done to prevent this catastrophe? I doubt it. ■ ■■ A priest in Germany burned him self to death last weekend in pro test of Islam’s growth in Europe. He showed them. Some European coun tries already have enough Muslims in their population that governments are bowing to their wishes. Predictions are being made that some of these coun tries will have governments controlled by Muslims within a few years. Now that is frightening. ■ ■■ Politicians and advocacy groups con tinue to bicker over abortion and make it appear to be the most important political issue of our times. In my opin ion, abortion is a moral issue and not a political one. It should be treated as such. t> Idea of the week: Automated Congress How would you like a federal gov ernment that always did what was best for the most? A legis lature that ignored party politics and special interests? A body politic that didn’t waste our tax dollars like the Gabor sisters at a toy poodle auction? How ‘bout a representative incapable of sexual harassment? Sounds ideal, huh? Too good to be true? It may not be. Stay with me. The other day, I was at the grocery store. I consulted the list my wife pro vided, spent 45 minutes looking for something she called feta cheese, and then got in the shortest line I could find to pay for my items. When I got to the front of the line, I noticed there was no cashier - just some odd-looking com puter-like device. Not paying attention to the people ahead of me, I did not know how to operate the machine. So I poked it a few times, shook it viciously, then sheepishly pushed my cart to the “dummy line” with the human cashier. While I waited in that line with my fellow morons, I watched the sophisti cated folk maneuver quickly through the unmanned line. “They’ve automated grocery store check-out with some type of new fangled technology,” I said aloud to myself, prompting odd stares from those around me. As I rode home, and listened to what seemed like a thousand political OPINION ■ ■■ In my opinion, the American Bar Association made a mistake when it decided to permit lawyers to advertise. Numerous national firms have popped up advertising on television, soliciting clients for lawsuits they create rather than pursuing legitimate cases. Now we learn that one of the law firms that has been a big television advertiser is being sued by the government for tak ing advantage of clients. Most lawyers that I know do not approve of lawyers becoming hucksters. ■ ■■ Speaking of inappropriate advertis ing. It just seems inappropriate to per mit the kind of attack advertising we have seen this year in races for judge ships. It is undignified in races where dignity should rank high along with honesty and integrity. The Georgia Bar Association could reverse a decision that has permitted this kind of adver tising in judgeship races. ■ ■■ The next presidential’election is only Len Robbins Columnist airpub@planttel.net advertisements, I came to a brilliant epiphany - why not automate our fed eral government? Our federal government - Congress and the President, in particular - rou tinely make boneheaded, non-sensical decisions. Why? I don’t know. They pay SBO for a hammer, propose building $223 million “Bridges to Nowhere,” they start a war for no reason, hit on interns - those types of things. It seems that the problem with our Congressmen and Congresswomen is that they are actually men and women. They are human beings, flesh and blood, water and hair gel, prone to making crucial judgments based on emotion or loyalty or pride or prejudice or bribery or extortion or blackmail or backroom payoff - just like the rest of us. Since we’re all being replaced with technology, why not them? Why not replace Congress with a big computer? They’re basically robots for their party anyway. A computer doesn’t have any mm- WjiL Foy Evans Columnist foyevansl9@cox.net * r f L - I' HOUSTON DAILY JOURNAL two years away. With mid-term congressional elec tions out of the way candidates can begin digging up dirt on their potential opponents. Sonny Perdue told one audi ence that the best way to learn every thing there is to know about yourself, your family and all your acquaintances is to run for political office. “Your opponents will dig it all up for you,” he said. ■ ■■ Donald Walker already is the longest serving mayor in the history of the city of Warner Robins. By the time he com pletes the new term to which he has just been elected he will have served 14 years and that is a record that probably will stand up forever. ■ ■■ Numerous people have wondered why politicians were able to bombard them with obnoxious computer gener ated political telephone calls when they are on the state and federal no-call list. The simple answer is that politi cians exempted themselves from the laws and can bombard you with all the telephone calls they like. What did you expect? ■ ■■ For the next two years we will learn that the people we elected are not the scoundrels that their opponents told us they were during the campaigns lead ing up to the general election. We all can be thankful for that. emotions, doesn’t belong to a politi cal party, doesn’t like to play golf in Scotland, isn’t indebted to the oil industry, and has no opposite sex, or same sex, in which to be interested. Here’s an example of how it may work: Let’s say your community wants to four-lane a U.S. highway. You would have someone input all the information: How much it would cost; how much traffic the road currently receives; how much money the government has; how many people would be positively or negatively affected; etc., etc. Then - voila! - the computer would spit out, without regard to politics, the answer. No debate, no filibusters, no posturing in front of the TV cameras, no spin. You would save trillions, could give everybody a gigantic tax cut, and, best of all, decisions would be made free of influence and bureaucratic clutter. Now, I know, I haven’t worked out the fine details of this automation of Congress, or if we need to go even fur ther - like the executive branch, the judicial branch, and basically every thing else in Washington, D.C. And there’s also that pesky Constitution to contend with as well. We’ll get to that later. First, we need to get everybody in Congress to quit. Ya’ll work on that. I’m going back to the grocery store to figure out that machine.